Epilogue

They saw him sitting at one of the booths towards the back of the Café. Both of them looked a bit rumbled but then they really hadn’t had much sleep even though they were late for meeting Andy. It just seemed like each time they had tried to get to sleep, something had made one or both of them remember something to say or felt like they needed to do.

If anyone had bothered to watch them walk towards the back they might have seen how both tried hard not to look at each other but failed totally. It was almost as if they were wayward kids coming home late and yet still feeling the fun from wherever they had been. Neither looked directly at the other but you could see how they both glanced furtively towards the other when they thought no one was looking. Course no one was, they were all too busy exchanging the latest town buzz which neither Bailey or Chris had yet to pick up on.

They both noticed how Andy already had coffee in front of him and a mass of papers too. It was like he had been there for hours doing homework or something yet both of them seemed oblivious to it. All they could think of was sliding into the booth on one side so they could finally touch. It was cute to watch if you could, but today they could have easily kissed on the way to the booth as everyone had their heads buried together, talking and whispering about something else.

Andy was occupied by the papers in front of him. He sipped absent minded at the coffee while he went over the figures on the papers. He had been up early and hadn’t gotten much sleep either. He had thrown himself into working out this project instead, knowing that there was little if any use at all in agonizing over his loss.

In some ways it was more thrilling to be in this position. Least he could concentrate on business stuff and he knew that it was what had always gotten him excited. Being with another person was nice, but he had to admit, for him the thrill of the deal, the excitement of taking something old and making it work again had always been a greater achievement than just shooting his load. Course with Jesse it had come close to being equal but that was over, least for now he thought.

Okay perhaps he had dwelled on that a bit before diving into this project, but he had come to the conclusion that Jesse was probably right. The money differences would come between them, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends. Maybe in time they could work past it though he doubted they’d ever be as close as they had been that first time. Then that had been about money too so he had quickly let the matter pass from his thoughts and moved on to what really made him feel alive, the project.

It hadn’t taken him long to realize that he was out of his depth in some of the mechanics of the project. Andy had hesitated about calling but there was no choice if he wanted to come thru for Bailey and Chris. Calling his father had been a tough decision but at the end of it, he was surprised to realize that he had misjudged the man. Sitting there sipping the luke warm coffee he felt better about a lot of things. The phone call had lasted longer than he believed possible and afterwards he knew that his father wasn’t the ogre he had imagined. They shared a common interest after all and it wasn’t just his mother. They both lived for the thrill of business and now a rough plan lay ready to present to Chris.

The noise of the two sliding into the booth across from him made him look up. He felt a small pang of regret in his heart as he saw how different both of them looked. He wondered if it would still work out now that he had a plan for Chris and his family’s dilemma? Would money change Chris back or would it alienate Bailey?

As Andy looked at them both he realized that for them, money wasn’t going to be an issue. Bailey in his own right was smart, and he could offer something to Chris that no amount of money could. Strange, he sort of wished that would have been the case with Jesse but Jesse wasn’t Bailey. He sighed as he saw how the two of them looked tired but excited. It brought a smile to his own face as he knew they had done more than just talk thru the night. It kind of amazed him that he really didn’t feel all that bad knowing that either.

You guys hungry?

Yep, starving.

Uh huh, I meant for food Bailey.

He saw the deepening redness cross Bailey’s face and had to laugh. It looked so funny as Chris smiled as well and was almost as beet red in the cheeks as Bailey. It was good to see them that way he thought as he chuckled.

Sorry, uh, that too.

Okay well order up, my treat.

Andy…

It’s okay Chris, you can buy next time, and yes, you’ll be able to I think.

Really?

Yeah, I talked with my dad this morning.

Your dad?

Uh huh, and we have a plan. It’s not quite what your folks might have wanted but it will get them off the hook and in time, well I think it’ll work out.

He didn’t really know what to say or do. The press of Bailey’s hand in his only made him feel even more at awe. Chris never really believed in luck or in angels but as he stared at Andy, as he felt the warmth of Bailey’s hand in his, he realized that he had been wrong.

Christ, I never thought, I mean…

Yeah well you haven’t heard it yet, but it’s the only way. Least your folks will get to keep the name intact, though I think some of the circling sharks will be disappointed, still it won’t allow for a lot of added luxury. Some things will need to be worked out but I am fairly certain staying in school here isn’t in jeopardy. So…

I don’t know what to say.

Well, nothing to say. It was a challenge, will be one too, part of the deal is you and Bailey and me, we have to more or less manage some of this, call it part of our school experience.

Watching the way Andy spoke to Chris made Bailey feel a bit guilty and yet he knew he had made the right choice. Hearing his name though brought him out of his thoughts and his eyes opened up wider.

All of us?

Yeah, course there is a salary allowance that goes with it, so it won’t be too bad.

Me? How’d I get into this? I mean, I don’t mind helping, but…

Andy sighed a bit as he knew that Bailey had so much to learn about life. It was part of his charm maybe that he was so trusting, but he couldn’t keep being the nice selfless one. Sometimes you just had to take what was offered and he felt it was time Bailey learnt that. Besides, this way he was fairly certain that money would not come between Bailey and Chris, so he put a slight edge to his voice this time, to make sure Bailey understood him.

Look Bailey get used to this, you can’t always do things for free, and when someone offers you the cash, take it. Free isn’t going to get you new clothes or pay for school supplies, this way you give but you also get something back, course if you don’t want to, that is up to you but..

He recognized the coldness in that last word and his heart grew still. Bailey was afraid to ask but he had to. There was no way he wanted to make money off Chris’ problems and it surprised him that Andy seemed to just accept that they would go along with it.

But what?

But the deal is more or less set guys. My dad talked it over with your folks already Chris, all that is needed now if for you and Bailey to sign on, if either of you don’t, well then the deal is off. So… want to hear the details or not?

Chris squeezed Bailey’s hand as he listened to Andy spell it out. He knew that whatever part he and Bailey had to play was not just about saving his families business, but was more complicated than that. He could see it in Andy’s eyes and he knew that in his own way, Andy was protecting Bailey as well as helping him. It made him feel a bit envious and jealous too but then he let his heart feel the warm hand in his.

Yeah… go ahead. You know, Grant is going to be really pissed off with you Andy.

Oh? Well I think Mr Waddington has other problems to occupy himself with right now, and somehow I think my helping you out isn’t at the top of his or his families list right now.

Huh? What do you mean?

Oh let us just say that last night Mr Waddington met up with the local authorities after a girl called them up. Seems our fellow classmate likes to get his way, even when people say no to him. Course that can work but these days, its called Rape whether you come from the slums or Martha’s Vineyard. Grant is in jail and somehow I don’t think he’s going to wiggle too easily out of this one. Seems the deputy who picked him up also found a bit more than roofers.

Chris didn’t feel sad for Grant. He had warned him about not listening and in some ways he was secretly thrilled that at last Grant was perhaps getting a taste of his own medicine. He was certain Grant would not enjoy Jail even for a short time.

Bailey saw the way Andy’s eyes had narrowed and he felt a small chill inside. He hadn’t seen that look before and it frightened him. His hand dug hard into Chris’ hand as he turned away from Andy’s suddenly hard cold stare.

Fuck. How did you hear all this? I mean we didn’t hear anything at school or on the way here.

I doubt if you heard anything the way you two look, but no I heard it from my Dad. Grant’s family called him as he knows the local Judge here pretty well.

Oh.

No Chris it isn’t what you think. Grant is a chip off the old block. My dad expressed his sympathy for Grant, but regretfully told them there wasn’t anything he could or would do in this instance. So, I think Grant is shit out of luck this time around. Besides Dad did call his friend, to offer his support just in case Grant’s folks found some other leverage.

No one really said much for a few moments. Chris didn’t feel happy but he didn’t feel sorrow for Grant’s predicament either. It was what he had expected and for a few moments while Andy related the news he felt frightened. It could have been him if he hadn’t stopped. In some ways he realized he had been just like Grant, but for some strange twist of fate or luck he had been spared the lesson that Grant was being taught.

Bailey’s hand in his helped to ease that fear too as he realized that he really didn’t care what happened to Grant. All he cared about was what he had now, the friendship of Bailey and after last night, well he was fairly certain that this was something worth protecting and keeping. He turned back towards Andy and the conversation now returned to the project. Thoughts of Grant had been pushed to where they belonged, in the distant memory file.

——

Sheriff I don’t like this one bit. Not one bit I tell you.

He pushed back into his old swivel chair and slowly raised his leg to place his boot on the desk. His eyes stared blankly at the man before him and he smiled to himself. Sheriff Miller saw how the man dabbed at his face with his hanky. He rather enjoyed seeing the man’s discomfort.

Well I am truly sorry about that Mayor, not much I can do now though.

Like hell, you should have told me.

Oh? I thought this was my problem, least that’s what you and the others said when we first spoke about this.

The Mayor stood there glaring. His face was mottled in a deep bluish tint with patches of purple. Dante Miller had always been one of those who you just never could figure out. There was no mistaking his pleasure in seeing him all flustered either which only made him angrier. This whole mess with Keith Tanner had always been a sore point in the town. He had hoped that once Keith had been sent off that the family would move, but when they hadn’t it had only made things more difficult. Now his death would only bring up the old wounds more, something he had hoped to avoid.

Well can’t say we all like how you handled this.

Oh? And just what was I supposed to do? Wait till he came and killed off his family?

Course not, but couldn’t you have found another way? I mean come on Dante, Boone Jones? Some folks aren’t going to take kindly to that.

Tough, better they be upset than we have a massacre to contend with. Christ don’t you realize Boone did us all a favour?

A favour? Now how in blazes…

Think for a minute Mayor, if we had caught Keith, this wouldn’t end with that. There would be a trial and you can bet that would open up a few more wounds, and what if he had got away? What would folks be saying then? Or worse what if he managed to kill his family?

Yes I can see that, still Dante…

Can You? Christ what if he had gotten away? Or worse what if he had managed to get into the house and do what he had threatened to do? My God the press would have a field day with that and then there is the college. You can bet the college folks would be thinking about pulling out or worse, what then?

All right, so Keith is dead, still did you have to deputize Boone Jones?

The Sheriff carefully looked at the Mayor. His eyes grew narrow as he tried to see if the Mayor was probing him or just being his typical red neck self? If the man had any inkling of the truth he would explode. Still, he couldn’t be sure which was why he had quickly ushered Boone away from the Tanner home and here.

Why not? He’s ex Green Beret.

And that will come out won’t it?

More than likely.

Yes and you know how some will take that, they’ll be scared. I don’t know, can’t you maybe keep that part quiet?

I can try, but you’ll have to help.

I know, I just don’t like it.

Well, up to you Mayor. Far as I am concerned, the case is over.

I suppose. What about the state folk? They okay with all this?

That had been his greatest worry but he didn’t let on to the Mayor. It had taken him a bit of talking to get Boone to sign the papers but at least this way there wouldn’t be any trouble. When the State boys had shown up it was anticlimactic as they barely glanced at the papers. Least there was something official so it made Keith Tanner’s death more legit.

Boone had given him a bit of an argument about it too. Still, he had managed to convince him that if he didn’t go along that it could only hurt Kip and his family. Boone had given in and Dante had made sure that the papers bore the date of several days earlier. He even managed to smudge some of his signature so it looked like it was routine. He had it all ready for the State boys too. The signed affidavit of acknowledging Boone Jones as a special deputy. The waiver for remuneration which had helped please the Mayor and kept the books clean. The signed oath of office was also there and he smiled as he realized how some papers with a town crest on it could make murder legal.

Course he didn’t really think Boone was a murderer but some would. It wasn’t a bad town but they just didn’t care for folks who were so obviously different. It didn’t seem to matter that Boone had served his country or had saved the lives of a small boy, two teenage girls, a sickly woman and two older boys. All they saw was the colour of his skin and him holding a smoking rifle. Well tough shit, least now they could rest a bit easier knowing it was legal, least on paper.

He felt like at last he was doing what he should have done himself long ago. Maybe if he had just shot Keith at the house that day all this wouldn’t have happened, but he had played it by the book. Now years later he knew that the book didn’t have all the answers. If the truth ever came out he’d more than likely go to jail for forging papers and covering up what really was murder. Boone had acted on his own and in his mind, Dante Miller was damn glad he had. There was no doubt he had saved Kip and his family. Too bad most around here wouldn’t see it quite that way.

Yep, the paperwork was all in order so course they are happy.

Well least you did that part right, still wish you had told me.

Better I hadn’t Mayor, least now you can blame me if folks get too uptight about it.

Don’t you think I won’t either. You have re-election coming up Dante.

Yep but if I lose, well I can always run for Mayor next year.

The Mayor just glared and then stormed out of the office. Dante Miller let out a loud laugh as the door banged shut loudly. Maybe he would run for Mayor just for the hell of it but he knew he wouldn’t. He was quite happy being Sheriff and besides, he could do more for Kip and his family and Boone as Sheriff than he could as Mayor. Besides, he rather enjoyed being a thorn in the side of the Mayor and the others. It made up a little for some of the things he had had to do as Sheriff of this burg.

——

The room smelled of grease and oil and yet it felt rather nice. His eyes were held by the face of the man who sat across from the ancient desk. He saw the mounds of paper scattered across its top and yet he knew that Boone could pluck any particular piece out without much trouble.

I don’t know what to say Boone…

Nothing to say Kip.

You saved our lives, I can’t just…

Let it go son, better it happened this way than any other way.

I would have shot him Boone.

He looked at Kip and knew that what he had said was true. He would indeed have shot and more than likely killed him too but he also could tell that it would have eaten him alive too. There was no mistaking the relief on Kip’s face that night, when he and Jesse had come racing out to see what had happened. Boone knew that he had saved a lifetime of pain for Kip and it made it all worthwhile to him.

I know, but like I said, better this way.

Why? I mean…

He was still your pa, I know, he never acted like one but better you don’t have his blood on your hands.

I suppose, still…

No still or anything, best this way so let it be.

The Sheriff okay with this? I mean you were at his office for a long time.

Boone couldn’t help but smile, though he tried to conceal it from Kip. He was as surprised as perhaps old Dante Miller himself was when he had walked over to see the body of Keith Tanner. He could still remember how the Sheriff had looked at the neat hole in the front and then at Boone’s rifle.

He said nothing for several minutes while people gathered around just in ear shot and then he grinned wide and slapped Boone on the back, telling him good job deputy, damn good job deputy Jones. He had almost fallen over in disbelief and he could hear the neighbours all muttering. Deputy was one word that kept being repeated over and over again and later, at the Sheriffs office he had been further surprised at how the Sheriff pushed the papers on him, insisting on him signing them all, including the waiver for payment.

The man had it all worked out in minutes, though he hadn’t been so sure he wanted to go along at first. He kind of relished the idea of a possible trial of his own but then reason took charge of him. It would only have hurt Kip and his folk and they had been good to him. Kip’s mom had been one of the few in town to invite him for dinner even though they had little to spare of their own. He didn’t forget those kind of things so he acquiesced and signed the papers. Now it was all legal and he rather enjoyed that notion.

More than that though it would enable him to do something he had only dared talk about with Kip. It had never seemed possible before but this had given him a way to do it. He sat there, staring thoughtfully at Kip, knowing how fond of the boy he had become over the short time they knew each other.

Course he is, you heard him tell you I had the right as a duly appointed special deputy and all that legal mumbo jumbo.

Uh huh, and Christmas is in July. Come on Boone, you and I both know that…

Listen Kip, sometimes there are things you just don’t say or question. Don’t make a deal out of this, it isn’t going to change the result and besides, this is one of those times when what you don’t know is best left that way. Catch my drift son?

But… yeah, okay but as long as you know that.. well that I appreciate all you did.

You are a good kid Kip, you deserve the help.

But you killed a man for me, I mean…

He wasn’t the first, though this perhaps was maybe one I can live with better than the others. So don’t you worry about old Boone here, I can handle this.

I know, still…

Still nothing. Besides, I been thinking I’d go visit some relations for a bit, think you and that friend of yours can handle this place on your own?

Jesse? Yeah we can, but, I mean what relations?

Distant kin, besides I been thinking. That fancy station up on the interstate, could use some decent competition and those ideas you had before, with that friend of yours helping maybe we can try some of them out.

Huh? But you said… I mean…

What? Can he or can’t he?

He can.

Then its settled. I’ll be gone for a bit, but I have arranged with the bank for you to manage things. Just make sure I come back to some cash in the account.

Boone…

Look, let’s be honest. If these changes are to work out, it won’t help if some black man who just shot some racist pig is around. It takes a long time for some folks to come around to modern ways, modern thoughts. Folks here are decent if you just give em time, don’t rub their noses in it so to speak. With me killing your daddy some will be upset, down right hostile if I try to capitalize on that with those changes.

Kip knew that the changes were something Boone had long dreamed of doing but for some reason never seemed willing to go thru with. Now he understood why which only angered him more. This wasn’t the late 60’s or 70’s and it shouldn’t matter what the colour of the man’s skin was or any of that. Still he knew Boone believed it did and maybe in some ways he was right. Many had not believed him or his mother at the trial, still he found it hard to accept.

Screw them then, If they…

Hush, stop talking like some school kid. You know I am right. Now with all that has happened if you start em up, well folks might be more inclined to take a chance out of guilt maybe, out of sympathy even and as much as that might gall you, you know that it about the only way for those changes to take hold properly.

I guess, but I don’t like it.

Neither do I son, I never really thought about it before, but I fought and saw friends die for this country only to come back to their hatred. Now I can at least see that some benefit from what I learned over there. Killing your pa wasn’t hard Kip, he deserved much worse and I am not sorry for my part in ending his life. I am only sorry it took so long. Now you can either let that hold you back or you can take the bull by the horns and make it work for you and your family and for me too.

I know, just that, well most of it is your idea, you should get the credit.

You knowing that is enough Kip. Now you have a chance, something I think you deserve, now just promise me one thing.

Anything Boone, just name it?

Stop thinking that all you have to offer is yourself, keep your pants on son.

Huh? I mean, what…

You know what I mean son, you can’t keep turning to that, this is your life Kip, make this work instead. It is a whole lot safer and besides, you will get older one day, better this works now, so deal or not?

Boone had never let on before this, yet he could tell exactly what Boone was referring to. Somehow though he didn’t mind that he knew. It was a shock and as much as he believed he could handle doing it still, it was nice to know that maybe now he and Jesse could put that behind them, permanently. It would be nice to not have to rely on that kind of work. He lowered his head as he thought for a minute then stared up at Boone’s waiting face.

In that one glance he knew that no matter how bad things got, that he had someone to go to, someone who would back him as best as he could. That made all the difference as tears welled up in his eyes. He could never repay Boone for how he now felt. Staring at the man he knew that Boone didn’t expect him to repay him in any other way than holding their friendship true. It was all he had ever hoped for as he now really did believe that he and Jess and his family had a chance to get out from under. The yoke of their past was suddenly removed and he shivered a bit as his head nodded.

Boone… yeah, deal.

Swear?

I swear.

Good enough for me then. Now get, your family could use you at home I think. Tomorrow is soon enough to get started. I’ll stop by later to see how you are getting on and with some papers from the bank for you. Now go on.

Kip stood up and as he did he saw Boone get up as well. They looked at each other and Boone held out his hand towards Kip. He looked at it and then up at Boone and shook his head. He moved in close instead and wrapped his arms around the burly ex Green Beret.

‘I won’t disappoint you’ was all he said as he hugged Boone and felt the man holding him tightly back. He didn’t need to say anything else as they both knew that he would honour his word. His heart was beating fast with excitement as he broke away. As he walked away he turned at the door to glance once more at Boone. He smiled as he noticed the small trickle of tears rolling down the dark face. He finally had a chance, and stepping out into the daylight he realized that he no longer had to face the world alone.

Chapter 10

’ Passionate love and a cough cannot be concealed.’

– Japanese Proverb

Andy Taylor

It had to be the longest hour in his life or so he thought at first but after the first few minutes he felt more at ease. Kip was kept pretty busy and even Bailey seemed to be a natural as he was running, helping wash the windshields, doing the small sort of things that Kip would normally do and yet as he watched them, he wondered if maybe Bailey had a secret crush for Kip? There was nothing like the mystery of a working boy to get one all excited, someone that had a look that was different, that held a secret that you hoped was only to be shared with you. Kip had all that and more and as he thought about it he thought more about Jesse too. He didn’t feel right in taking advantage of him, of using his money to get what he wanted from Jesse and it eat at him even though he knew it was at least a start. Maybe for once he could ignore life and live in a dream world, live in a state where everything wasn’t jaded by reality but instead coloured by hope and possibilities?

Andy could see the shining eyes each time that Bailey turned around and he knew that here at least Bailey was feeling at ease. Strange how some people took to things like ducks took to water while others splashed and never did grow comfortable. It was how he felt, here and at school, like a fish out of water in both places. His family was wealthy, maybe too wealthy even and it bothered him at times and yet when he was here, in places where people had very little, where work was all that kept them even alive he was just as uncomfortable. He worried too much about what people thought of him, so his mother told him and yet his father had a different answer. His father simply told him that he hadn’t found his niche, his place in what it was he wanted people to think of when his name was mentioned and when he did he’d find where he was comfortable.

Strange he never gave his father much credit for knowing him, hell they hardly saw each other and at other times they fought like cat and dogs but every now and then his dad surprised him. He had argued against this school but his father had insisted, telling him that in no uncertain terms this was where he would go to school, but at the same time telling him that it would help determine just what it was that Andy had been looking for in who he was. Strange, coming to this place was like living in two worlds and maybe that was exactly what his father had intended all along. On the one side you had the school, rich beyond comparison, fancy dorm rooms and even fancier classrooms with the most modern up to date equipment that money could buy.

His own business administration classroom had direct internet links to wall street and NASDAQ even, and each of them had real accounts for them, to help them learn the in’s and out’s of the market in real term, no play time here. In many ways it helped show him a great deal as he watched in real time how the market played out, how decisions he had no control over could suddenly blow his best laid plans to hell and the challenge was something he had never expected either. That was the one side; the other was here, the garage and the town too.

His brief visits into town had shown him what type of place it was, small and barely hanging on with the way the economy was and yet there was something special about the people. The way they kept on going, acting as if good times were something already there, not coming but actually there. Sure life was tough, most of them were either working for or working because of the feed plant and yet they seemed to have something that most of the kids at school didn’t, a sense of belonging that was more grounded more real than all the ticker tape could ever buy.

Andy had rebelled, had argued and even threatened and now he realized just how much he would have missed if his parents had stuck to it. His mother had been weakening, but his father had been a rock, insisting to the point that he even was willing to bribe him into coming. The car was his bribe and yet as he leaned against it he realized just how much it did mean to him, not because it was solace for coming here, but because he had to use his wits to obtain it, he had to barter and bargain, like any other businessman would have to and he had to compromise too in order to get what he had wanted, so the lesson had taken. Leaning there he started to realize that his father was pretty crafty after all but then he had to be in order to operate his financial empire the way he did.

He still felt nervous, unsure about a lot of things but he didn’t feel totally helpless anymore, realizing that he had been given good tools from which he could work with, from which he could obtain the things he wanted in life. Maybe that was what being a parent really was about, not to just give you things but to give you the ways and means to get those things? Was that maybe what his father had meant and if so, then maybe for the first time he really didn’t feel so bad about having the resources he had at his disposal? Maybe there was something to having that opportunity that he hadn’t grasped fully yet, and as he thought about it his thoughts turned back towards Jesse.

God he was feeling so lost in dealing with Jesse that he felt he must be more like Bailey than he thought and yet, he didn’t feel that same lost feeling around Bailey or Kip even. They were nice, attractive too and certainly they both had a definite sex appeal but Jesse was different, he had something that reached beyond a physical presence even. Maybe that was it, maybe he was just mesmerized by his hair or the way he looked, and yet he knew inside that it was different than that, he knew it was something else that he needed to learn about. Maybe this too was part of him finding out who he was and yet he doubted if his father had fully expected his son to find his homosexuality at school, but then it wasn’t really his father who pushed him to date, that was Mother’s role it seemed. Andy’s face grew sombre as he thought about it, about how his father seemed unconcerned by his lack of dating, about his lack of hell raising even and maybe the old guy suspected more than Andy had given him credit for? Now that would surprise him, but then again, maybe it shouldn’t because his dad wasn’t known for being stupid, but if he knew, why send him here? Why put him into a place that was filled with opportunities for him unless, unless he had something else in mind? If so, what could it be and he was off on a tangent, trying to think like his father, trying to guess at what might be behind his father’s insistence of his attending here. Andy had never been quite comfortable with his parent’s explanations and now he was wondering even more.

Andy shook his head, wishing he’d stop all this thinking, all this constant trying to figure out why instead of just rolling with it as his Mother had more or less told him. It was just so frustrating for him, he wanted to do what was right but how the hell was he supposed to know what was right? Somehow he had to figure this out and as he watched, he saw the way Bailey seemed so much more at ease around Kip than him, and yet he had done everything possible to make Bailey feel accepted, so why the difference, why did Bailey walk on egg shells around him but not Kip or Jesse? Hell, what was it about him that made people nervous?

The car pulled into the station and Andy hadn’t even noticed it until he heard the loud thump of the car door closing and there he was, his long hair flowing a little in the night’s breeze. Andy’s heart seemed to jump a bit and he could feel his legs trembling even and the ache from his groin suddenly made its presence known. His eyes actually watered a little as he saw that face, the way the eyes were searching the entire station and somehow Andy knew that Jesse was looking for him. He stood up from his car and began to head towards the pumps when he saw the Sheriff motion for Kip and Jesse stopped. He could see him smile at him, and his heart felt like it would melt and yet there was something different about Jesse, something he had sort of noticed when he had pulled up but now he could see it. Jesse seemed more alert, more upright in how he stood and his eyes seemed to always be darting around, as if expecting something or someone. A new strange sick like feeling began to softly gnaw deep in his stomach as he waited, watching Kip, Jesse, and the Sheriff talking.

Bailey had seen the cruiser coming up the road and he turned to look over at Kip and his heart suddenly grew cold as he saw the look that passed as quickly as it had come. Something was going on, and he couldn’t quite understand it as Kip seemed to put it out of his mind the second the car left with Jesse. He wondered if maybe Jesse had gotten into trouble and for a moment or two he felt a sense of panic, thinking that Andy would leave and that his time with Kip would be shortened, instead he saw Andy wheel the black car up to one of the bays and just sort of stand there, waiting. His anxiety was nothing new for him and he kept telling himself that he needed to stop imagining things but there was something about Kip and even Jesse, as he thought about it, which was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something had happened, he could sense it. A couple of times he had tried to talk to Kip about it but got nowhere, which sort of hurt a little but then he knew that if he was honest, they barely knew each other so why should Kip confide in him? He wished that he could know Kip better and he rather liked being around him, the way Kip smelled, the way he smiled, hell even the way he simply talked all conspired to make Bailey feel like he was on fire or something. The pain in his groin was unreal most of the time that he was around Kip and yet he wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.

He watched the way Jesse looked at the Sheriff and at Kip too and there was something in his face, something that he could see being mirrored in Kip’s face as well and he felt his heart suddenly grow still. It was almost as if there was a dark cloud hanging over them both and yet, it was weird really but he thought that as much as they felt that darkness they didn’t seem afraid. It really was something and he caught a glimpse of Andy watching and he could tell that Andy had noticed the same thing. There was also no mistaking Andy’s desire for Jesse as his pants were definitely tented. He was happy for that and the more he stole a look at Andy and Jesse, the more convinced he was that Andy had it real bad for Jesse. Strange though, Jesse kept stealing glances at Andy too so maybe there was some chance but he also thought about the other night with him and Andy and he felt ashamed, embarrassed even but also a bit jealous too. Christ he was becoming a basket case but as another truck pulled in, he let his thoughts pass and he raced to handle it so that Kip wouldn’t have to.

Jesse and Kip stood together, watching the Sheriff pull out and leave and for a moment or two, both were lost deep in their own thoughts. Kip could feel the presence of his father, the anger and terror remained for him as if it was only yesterday and yet as much as he was afraid, he also felt a resolve deep inside, one that would soon be tested and for a brief instant he wondered if it would be enough to get him and his family through the horror that he knew his father would inflict if given a chance. His anger at his father was matched by his own regrets, was matched by the feelings of anger he had for his own inabilities to have prevented all that had happened and as much as other’s had told him it wasn’t his fault, he still felt that much of it had been. Oh not that he was to blame for what his father did, but for not stopping it sooner, for not being tough enough or strong enough to stand up to the creep sooner. It weighed heavily on his mind as he turned to see the look in Jesse’s face.

There was a strange calmness to Jesse and Kip could smell the unmistakeable scent of gunpowder, something he was used to, as it was a scent he knew well from being around his father. The man always smelled from sweat, beer, and guns. He lived for his drinking and for his shooting, not a day had ever gone by when Keith Tanner hadn’t shot off at least one of his many weapons, but those days had ended or so he had thought. Now the smell of the cordite, the powder that wafted next to him churned his stomach, recalling images he had hoped to never see again and yet it wasn’t the same, wasn’t as gut wrenching as it used to be. Kip sighed as he turned to smile at Jesse, the sheriff’s warning still fresh in both of their minds.

Kip “So?”

Jesse “What?”

Kip “He seemed pleased enough, guess you didn’t hit any stray cows or anything”

Jesse “No, it didn’t take long to get the feel of it”

Kip “I gathered that, uh you better make sure that thing is on safety before you go climbing into bed with Andy there, don’t think his daddy would be happy with you if you wound up shooting off the wrong gun…”

Jesse “Funny ain’t you?”

Kip “I try, but, Jesse… seriously man, you don’t have to do this, I mean, well…”

Jesse knew that Kip meant it too, and yet as he placed his hand lightly on Kip’s shoulder he also knew how desperately Kip was hoping that he would stick to it, that he wouldn’t back out. It was scary, no doubt about that but he just knew inside that it was what he had to do, if for no other reason than he Kip was his friend.

Jesse “I know, thing is Kip, to me, inside, I have to do this, it just, I don’t know, it feels right man, I can’t really explain it, just that there isn’t any doubt inside, this is what I gotta do, so it’s cool, okay?”

Kip “Yeah, okay, what about him?”

Jesse “Andy?”

Kip “Yeah, how you going to explain that extra gun you supposed to be packing from now on?”

Jesse “Shit, you really are gonna milk this ain’t you?”

Kip “uh no, I kind of think Andy is the one who wants to milk ‘it’ but I could be wrong, but then again he has been sporting a boner all the time you been gone”

Jesse “Fuck… don’t say it, shit I give you too many openings, don’t Kip… but I don’t know, maybe I should cancel?”

Kip “NO! No you can’t do that, I mean there is no way of telling how long this other shit is going to go on for, this may be your only chance for a bit to be together, take it man, seriously… take it”

Jesse “Yeah I suppose, I do like him Kip”

Kip “I can tell, not sure who is more eager, you or him, judging by those bulges in both of your pants, haha”

Jesse “Shit, again with the cracks, fine, and what about you and your little helper over there? Ever seen how his puppy dog eyes follow your every move bud? Hmmm?”

Kip “Haha, no, but, hell, he is nice and he is smart, a scholarship boy too.”

Jesse “Christ you think those two talk about us like we do about them?”

Kip “God I hope not, it would be too embarrassing, haha”

Andy wished he knew what they were talking about but the wide smile across Kip’s face and the one that beamed from Jesse’s only made his heart thunder a bit louder, made his pulse race just a bit faster as he wondered what it was going to be like, to be next to Jesse, to feel him as he entered his body as he made him a part of himself? God, he couldn’t stop thinking about it, the way Jesse had smelled, had acted, had felt and that was just a blow job, and he felt the ache in his groin and rectum growing with each passing second as he saw Jesse finally leave Kip, heading towards the washroom with his duffle bag. He saw too the way Kip stared at Jesse’s back as he walked away and then he saw him steal a glance towards where he was, and for a brief moment he saw something strange in the way Kip looked at him. He couldn’t put his finger on it but it gave him a slight chill for a moment and then it too passed as Kip’s face broke into a grin. He gave Andy a thumbs up sign which only drove Andy’s mind back to the way Jesse looked and his whole body shook a little as the anticipation was almost unbearable.

Andy & Jesse

The drive to Kip’s trailer had been a silent one for the most part. Jesse seemed lost in some deep thoughts and Andy was afraid to break his mood, his silence. There was a sort of edginess to Jesse that he hadn’t expected, and when they had stopped to pick up the pizza he had ordered, Jesse seemed almost angry that Andy had wanted to pay for it. It was more like he had snarled even the way he said he’d pay for it and had gone inside, refusing to even give Andy much of a chance to move or even say anything.

The rest of the way to Kip’s had been kept to short instructions on where to turn next until they finally arrived at the trailer. He didn’t know what was eating at Jesse but thought it might be nerves, or something like that. Maybe Jesse didn’t believe that he had the money and he looked so different, so strange really but god he smelled so inviting, so desirable that he could feel the stiffness not just in his groin but through his whole body. He even felt a tremble now and then as they came closer to Kip’s trailer and he figured that once inside, Jesse would relax, especially after he paid him. That had to be what was bugging him so he tried to just ignore it as they finally pulled in, parking in front.

Jesse sat there for a few seconds, seeing the trailer and hearing Andy’s heavy breathing. He had been more terse than he should have been with Andy about the pizza, after all the guy just wanted everything to go right, and he could feel his nervousness as well as his desire. God, Kip had been right, the guy was sporting a super hard on judging by the way his pants were stretched at the groin but then, so was he and it kind of irritated him. He wanted more than a roll in the hay plus it was going to be difficult using Kip’s bed. There was so much there to remind him of Kip and to remind him that Kip would never be more than a friend, that his fantasy of having him for a lover wasn’t in the cards.

He sighed a little as he finally opened the door and climbed out, the large pizza box in one hand his other hand at his waist. It felt weird really as he looked around, checking out the field all around the trailer and then the road that they had just come down. Jesse could see the way Andy was looking at him, a case of nerves starting to take hold and he couldn’t really blame him, after all he was acting spooky but then, better safe than sorry as he was fairly certain there was nothing lurking nearby. Quickly he opened the trailer, holding the door for Andy so he could enter and then he shut it tight, barring it and then as he laid the pizza down he went through the trailer, checking the windows and dropping the blinds on each one but only after checking the latches.

His actions were making Andy very nervous, he could tell by the way Andy’s eyes kept following him around as he made the rounds, and only when he was satisfied did he return to the living area and turn on a small lamp by the sofa. The small table held the pizza and he reached into the fridge to pull out a couple of cans of beer, offering one to Andy as he quickly got down two plates and some paper towels. He set them down by the pizza and then took his jacket off, his cotton shirt open, showing his t-shirt but as he took the jacket off, he saw Andy’s eyes bulge open. There was no way he could hide it, and he waited for a minute before he sat down, taking a long heavy pull on the beer, his eyes never leaving Andy’s startled and now very worried face.

Andy couldn’t figure out what Jesse was up to as he moved through the trailer like a cat on the prowl for something. The way he walked, so alert, so intense that it gave him a small shiver as he sat on the sofa, the smell of the pizza no longer enticing him. He watched and when Jesse finally returned he still had that chill, uncertain what was going on. The way he had closed everything, latched and bolted every window not to mention the door frightened him for a moment or two as images from just before leaving home flashed before him.

His Father had called him a few days before he was to leave for school and took him for a drive. At first Andy had thought it was to give him a lecture about what he expected or something like that, maybe even some fatherly advice on who to socialize with or not but when they drove up and passed thru a wire fenced gate, where a tough looking stranger peered at them before letting them drive on in he knew it was something else.

Andy had never thought much about it, but for the next six hours he thought of nothing else but how his life wasn’t his own. His father had taken him to a large building where he was introduced to a Mr. Short, which he wanted to laugh at until he stared at the man’s pock marked face and his cold eyes. It was the eyes that silenced the beginnings of his laugh and within a few minutes he realized just how serious the man was as he began to discuss how Andy could do a lot in keeping himself alive. The mere thought that someone would want to harm him had never entered his mind until then and he could see the worry and concern in his father’s eyes as Mr. Short began to explain the ways of the criminal. It scared the shit out of him and now, sitting here he remembered all that the tall burly man had told him and as he saw the butt handle of the gun stuck inside of Jesse’s shirt he felt the rising panic as thoughts of kidnapping or worse flashed thru his mind.

Andy “Uh, do we, I mean, do I give you the money now or uh, I mean…”

Jesse had seen the eyes widen as Andy caught a brief glimpse of the gun hanging in a shoulder holster next to his arm. The butt sticking out couldn’t be missed and he felt a heaviness he hadn’t expected to feel, unsure of how to explain not only the gun, but at why he couldn’t do what Andy had hoped for, or was willing to pay for.

Jesse “Uh no, look, uh we need to talk Andy”

Andy “Okay, uh, look if the money isn’t enough, I have more, really…”

Jesse “No, no that isn’t it Andy, the money is, well, I won’t shit you, $400 is a lot of money to a guy like me, it is just that, well, things have kind of changed.”

Andy “Changed? How? I mean, did I do something wrong? Please, look the money, $400 isn’t that much to me and I, I really do, shit, you aren’t going to are you?”

Jesse “Going to?”

He felt so dejected as the thought passed through his mind. He couldn’t understand what it was that he had done that had changed Jesse’s mind, he wished he could know so that maybe, just maybe he could change Jesse’s mind. Andy didn’t care anymore what it would cost, he just knew he needed to be with Jesse, to be close to him at least once, so he could have something to hang onto, something that meant something.

Andy “Yeah, trick, isn’t that the word? You aren’t going to trick me, what is it, am I too geeky, what?”

Jesse stared at Andy, saw the roll of bills that had materialized in his hand and was outstretched towards him. He looked intently at the money. hearing Andy’s pleading voice that was tinged with a real fear, a sort of panic etched among each word that Andy had spoke. He could use the money but he wanted more than just money. Maybe in the end it would be all he could expect but being with Kip had changed him in a way he had yet to fully understand. That first time with Andy, taking the money had been almost like stealing, not for food but like he had taken something just for the hell of it. He didn’t like that feeling and he didn’t want to feel dirty anymore, he wanted something more and like Kip said, he owed it to himself to try.

Jesse “Yeah that’s the word and no you aren’t geeky or anything like that, it isn’t you Andy, it is me, me and I guess in some ways it is you too, but no I am not going to trick you, put the money back in your pocket, okay?”

Andy “Why? What did I do, I don’t get it, if it isn’t the money, what is it?”

He saw the way Andy’s hand was shaking, the way his face had gone white almost as he spoke and if he didn’t know better he’d swear that Andy had tears around the corners of his eyes. Christ, he really did want him, which was nice, and yet frightening too. Could he be what Andy expected or would he disappoint him just as he had disappointed so many others in his life? 19 years old and he felt like he was a 100 or so, but it was a life he had chosen and now he was faced with the consequences. Maybe if they had met elsewhere, at some dance or something instead of in a service station washroom, maybe then they might have a chance?

Jesse “Guess in a way it is you…”

Andy “Me? What did I do, please Jesse, if I did anything to piss you off, you gotta tell me, please…”

Jesse “No it isn’t that, look, I am not sure even I can explain this, uh, you remember when we first did it? Out in the field?”

Andy “Yes, did I do something wrong? Tell me, I know I am not very good at this stuff, but you can teach me, please…”

Andy’s voice had almost a tear in it, the way his eyes were watering Jesse could tell that he was close to crying, and his heart leapt as it ached for him. He really couldn’t explain how he felt, but he knew he had to try, to make Andy understand that he hadn’t done anything wrong, nothing except maybe make Jesse fall hard in love with him.

Jesse “No, you were very good, better than good even, it is just that being with you then, it was different, I felt different, not like I usually feel.”

Andy “I am sorry, I didn’t…”

Jesse “No, you have nothing to be sorry about, it is me, see, being with you wasn’t what I had expected, you, shit, how do I say this?”

Andy “Tell me, please Jesse, just, just say it”

Jesse “It is like touching you was real, it wasn’t about the money or anything else, it was like being next to you made me want to see you happy in a way, fuck, I know this is lame, but being with you, seeing how you were, feeling you the way you were, it drove me nuts, it made me want you to be more than just, well than just a trick. I know, you went on and on about doing more, and I went along, but when you forked over the money, it felt wrong, feels wrong even now and if I hadn’t spent some of it, shit, Andy I don’t want to trick you, I can’t, for whatever reason something about you is special, I want that, I don’t want you as a customer, as a trick, do you understand?”

The pain in his heart was murderous, it held him in such agony that he wasn’t even sure he could speak. Everything felt like it was all falling apart and yet something in Jesse’s voice, almost as if he was in pain even touched him, gave him hope that he couldn’t explain or feel like it could even be real and yet, the way Jesse talked, the way he looked, it had to be real, had to be.

Andy “I am not sure, I mean, are you, are you saying you like me?”

Jesse “I guess so, yeah, I am saying that, why, is that hard to believe?”

Andy “Kind of, I mean, why would someone like you like me?”

The words were like a knife in his heart as he felt himself leaning back in the small chair, almost as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Jesse always had known that the odds of Andy caring about him were slim given his background, but to hear the words only tore at him more. He felt the pain, his face contorted in the sudden agony of it all as he answered.

Jesse “You think its for the money don’t you? That’s what you mean by a guy like me, isn’t it?”

Andy saw the way Jesse’s face suddenly grew white, and the way his jaw tightened and his eyes, his eyes suddenly seem to go blank as if they had suddenly been closed even though he could still see the green tint of the pupils. His own heart suddenly felt like it was being ripped apart as he was certain he could feel Jesse’s pain.

Andy “SHIT NO! No Jesse, I meant, I meant a guy who is so fucking hot that it hurts when I look at you, that you are so together, so confident looking so fucking amazing, that why would anyone like that want a plain geek kid like me, that is what I meant, honest, shit you have to believe me Jesse, I never dreamed that you could, well, that you could care about me the way I feel for you, I…”

Jesse “you care for me? Why?”

Andy “Yes…”

He took a deep breath as he stared at the wide-open eyes once more. Jesse’s face was suddenly calm, his eyes blinking but there was a glimmer of life in them now, as if the words had given Jesse hope. He felt the ache growing in his own body as he tried to marshal his thoughts and try to make Jesse understand just how much he needed to be with him, to be a part of him.

Andy “I don’t know, but the second I saw you, the way your eyes looked at me, shit the way they are right now even, it just sort of makes me feel good, makes me feel, special… no one has ever made me feel that way”

Jesse “for real?”

Andy “uh huh”

Jesse “Then why, I mean why the money?”

Andy “I never thought you’d want to be with me otherwise, I didn’t think I was good enough just as me, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by offering the money, I just felt, well, I thought it would be the only way I could at least have a chance at knowing a part of you, God I know its bad, I know how you must hate me for it, but I didn’t know how else I could be with you, you are so, so amazing, and I took advantage, I know that, but I couldn’t stop myself Jesse, I needed to have something of you, to keep and dream about”

A small tear was trickling down Andy’s face and he couldn’t quite believe it, that someone like Andy fell the way he said. It couldn’t be real and yet in his soul he knew that the words were real, that Andy truly did feel something special for him, but he still couldn’t accept it, he still couldn’t quite believe that someone as cultured and well heeled like Andy Taylor could fall for someone like him.

Jesse “Hurt me? Andy, I am a hustler, a whore for Christ’s sake, how can you, how can you care for me?”

Andy “DON’T! Don’t say that Jesse, you do stuff that maybe isn’t, I don’t know, accepted? It doesn’t make you worthless, least not to me, I don’t care about that shit, I just want to be with you, to lean in your arms, to smell you, to listen to you talk, laugh, whatever you are willing to share with me, that is all I want, I don’t care what it takes from me, I’ll do whatever you want, I just want you, a piece of you that I can call mine, honest.”

Silence filled the trailer as the two boys stared at each other. Jesse could see the pain etched across Andy’s face as he had spoke and each word voiced had touched him, had reached him in a place that no one had ever reached before. Only Kip had come there, and that was different too, not like this felt and as he struggled with trying to figure it all out, he could feel the panic and fear oozing from Andy. He really did mean what he said, and it frightened him a little, unsure if he was up to equalling what Andy thought he was.

Jesse “How can you be so certain? You don’t know anything about me really, you don’t know me at all”

Andy “I know, maybe its crazy but when we were together, that first time, I heard your heart, its crazy I know but, it was almost as if it was speaking to me, I can still hear it, and I know I want to hear more, to keep on hearing it for as long as you’ll let me, you don’t have to love me Jesse, just let me love you, please… I just know that I need you…”

The pleading look from Andy’s powder blue eyes was too much for him and he lowered his head, feeling his heart’s wild beat inside his chest. He stared at the way his chest was heaving and he could feel his body aching in places that no one had ever touched before. His whole life had been spent running from who he was, from what he was and here he was, hearing how someone like Andy just didn’t care about any of that, didn’t care what he had done or what he had been. It was like a second chance was being given to him and he was petrified at what it could mean and yet as much as he was fearful, he could hear that extra beat once more, the one he kept hearing as he laid next to Andy on a blanket behind some bushes a few days earlier.

Jesse “It’s not crazy, I heard yours too”

Slowly Jesse rose up from the chair, his legs aching and his heart trembling as he made his way past the small table. His legs felt wobbly and he gulped in the air as his lungs ached as well. Every part of his body suddenly seemed to be shaking even though he was certain that Andy couldn’t see that. His mind was fogged as he carefully walked over to where Andy sat. He saw the eyes staring at him, following him and his heart beat just a bit faster, just a little harder as he came to stand in front of Andy. He stood there, silent for a minute as he felt Andy’s desire reaching upwards towards him. That extra beat echoed in his ears as he spoke softly, his eyes staring at the tips of his boots, afraid to look into Andy’s face.

Jesse “I have been in jail”

The words registered inside but all that he could think of was that Jesse was there, standing right in front of him as if there really was a chance for them, and he could feel a strange warmth growing deep inside of him as he replied, his voice sounding reedy and thin to his ears.

Andy “I have been in detention”

Jesse looked up and stared deeply into the powder blue eyes of Andy. He saw something there, something that was silent and deadly as it reached out and touched him and he shivered a little. His heart stopped for a brief moment and then began to beat wildly. Jesse reached out with his hands, taking Andy’s upraised hands into his and then he pulled him up, staring into the open face of Andy.

Jesse “That’s not the same thing”

Andy “No, detention can be worse”

His head tilted to one side, his one hand resting on top of Andy’s shoulder and his other hand holding lightly onto the boy’s waist. He moved his face inwards keeping his eyes open, feeling the lashes flutter as he came closer to Andy’s face. He felt the warm breath across his mouth as he came even closer, feeling the sudden inhale of air as Andy struggled to take a breath. His heart was pounding loudly and yet he couldn’t hear it from the din of Andy’s own thundering heart.

The hand on Andy’s waist moved around slowly, grabbing at the firm cheek of Andy’s buttocks and it pulled inwards, bringing Andy’s young firm body closer, making it press up against Jesse’s own aching body. The press of Jesse’s fingers into the warm flesh of his buttocks made him suddenly groan, the press of his body into Jesse’s only made his heart ache even more and he felt the tears rolling down from the corners of his eyes as he saw those sea green eyes growing before his very face. He could feel them piercing his very soul as they came closer and he saw the waves of green rolling within, the swirling green seas that were Jesse’s own spirit came visible to him as he shuddered and trembled in the hard strong grasp of Jesse’s arms.

His body felt like rubber, as he could smell Jesse’s scent coming closer, as he smelled the cologne and even a trace of something else. The press of the gun against his breast didn’t even register as all he could think of was that Jesse was holding him, that Jesse was there with him and he closed his eyes, letting his thoughts wash away as his desire took over. His body shuddered again and again as he waited, anticipating that first electric touch that would send him into orbit. Andy felt his tears rolling down the face, dripping and curling under his chin as the fire suddenly sprung up from his soul and began to lick at his flesh.

Jesse’s fingers were spread far apart and each one was digging in past the thick denim material of Andy’s pants and despite the pants, he could feel the warm flesh underneath. He felt the fire rising upwards as the long eyelashes over Andy’s eyes fluttered furiously and then shut tight as the pale blue eyes shut. He felt the body in his arms shake and tremble as his own body arched inwards. His soul began to flicker as the fires within were ignited by the soft sweet scent that wafted inwards.

His eyes saw the clear tears running from the corners of the shut eyes and the sight touched his heart in a strange wonderful way. He felt it cheering as if it had just won the lottery and deep inside he could feel the pleasure that only came to him infrequently when he had been proved right. Whatever else might happen he was content now, knowing that what Andy had said had indeed be the truth, that he did care for him and that was something that maybe they could build on. His mouth grew taut now as it could feel the heat coming from Andy. His lips began to tremble slightly, as the distance grew smaller and smaller and then his body suddenly shook, a terrific jolt of fire came racing into his body as his mouth brushed up against Andy’s own trembling lips.

The pure energy that passed between them took his breath away and Andy felt his mouth suddenly spring open as his lungs gasped for air. The instant his lips parted he felt the rough edge of Jesse’s tongue as it came flying inwards, pushing his mouth open even wider and filling it with its wild dancing presence. The tongue licked upwards and stroked the very back of his throat all in one wild crazy motion. He felt his chest heave as the air left in his lungs was expelled and he breathed in deeply, feeling Jesse’s warm sweet breath and he shuddered, feeling the ache in his loins tearing upwards, the press of his throbbing penis threatening to rip apart the crotch of his denim pants.

A taste of peppermint filled his mouth as Andy’s breath came flooding inside the warm cavern of his open mouth. His tongue was already twisting and snaking inside of Andy’s own mouth and he could feel the teeth as the bottom of his tongue dragged across them, each indent and crevice was tasted as the rough tip of the tongue flicked up and then down, then off to one side and then up. His whole body felt the growing tremors of his desire as he clung tightly to Andy, his other hand now pushed under Andy’s arm, the hand resting with increasing strength against one shoulder blade, pressing the boy’s body inwards, just as the hand that now pressed against the buttocks squeezed the firm flesh underneath.

Jesse pulled back, struggling to breath as his teeth grabbed the lower lip and bit down gently, his tongue licking at Andy’s upper teeth, swirling around and then darting inside one more time, ignoring the desperate gasp for air that both bodies were making. He held onto Andy’s body, feeling the tremors of desire that passed between both aching bodies. Sweat was beginning to bead on his forehead as he slowly let his head pull back, a short quick inhale and then he pressed forward again, his lips closed as they kissed Andy’s still open mouth. He leaned back a little, easing the intense pressure his hands had been applying to Andy’s back.

Jesse “You taste good”

Andy “So do you, I…”

Jesse moved in again, his lips once more pressing up against Andy’s mouth, shutting off his words as he held him tightly into his arms. He tasted the lips and once more his tongue darted inside, a quick flick to the side then a hard press against Andy’s own tongue, and his teeth now nibbled gently at the quivering upper lip of the young boy, tasting the flesh and saliva. He moaned softly as he let his tongue return inside, as his head pulled back one more time. His eyes glimmered now as they waited for Andy’s own eyelids to open. When they did he felt his cock jerk hard inside of his pants and he felt his fingers flex and then dig slightly into Andy’s body.

They stood there for a moment or two and then Jesse moved his hands off of Andy’s backside and brought them forwards. His fingers reached up and he unbuttoned the top bottom of Andy’s shirt, then the next button and the next until finally Andy stood there, his shirt open exposing his young bare chest to Jesse. Jesse smiled up into Andy’s face, pressing in and kissing Andy fully on the lips. He let his tongue run quickly across the cracked flesh and then with his hands, he pulled back on the open shirt collar, pulling the shirt back and over the trembling shoulders of the young man.

Jesse reached up with his hand, a finger moving up along the pulsing vein of Andy’s neck, feeling the blood as it rushed through the carotid artery and up along the quivering jaw line until it came to his ear lobe. All the time he could feel Andy’s eyes watching his every movement and he smiled, feeling the thrill his touch brought to Andy and to himself. He felt his own body shaking as his finger traced the lower ear, moving along the lobe towards the inside and then he turned his face, letting his finger follow the nature curves while he stared intently into Andy’s face. He could see so much that it was stunning to his mind. He saw the small bumps under the left eyelid, the soft indentation just under the right eye itself near the nose and yet through all that he saw something else that only excited his heart more. He could see the need that Andy held for him, and more, he could feel that desire almost as if it was something he could reach out and touch.

Jesse’s finger moved up and along the side of the face, reaching the corner of the eye and gently he wiped away the tear, running his finger under the eye, his fingertips lightly brushing across the soft milky flesh. He took a deep breath, as he looked at that face, at the way Andy looked back at him with such trust, such care that it only made his own heart skip a few beats as he thought about tonight. His whole body seemed so alive as he leaned upwards and kissed Andy on the forehead then the bridge of his nose, tasting the warm flesh and then once more he pressed his lips against Andy’s, feeling and tasting something very special. His pulse slowed a bit from its earlier frantic pace as his tongue just lightly prodded Andy’s moist lips. He kissed the chin and then leaned back, staring up into Andy’s face.

Andy “Jesse, I…”

Jesse “It’s okay, really…”

Andy “I am scared Jesse”

He was leaning forward, looking at the trembling chin and the long neck, the way the veins stood out. He thought for a moment he could see the blood flowing, the way the veins moved and actually pulsed even and then the words came. He stopped looking at the long ‘v’ of the hollow of Andy’s neck and raised his face back to look into the powder blue eyes. His heart held still as did his whole body, a slight stab of fear coming close to his beating heart.

Jesse “Of me?”

Andy “No, never, it is just, I have never, Jesse I want to make you happy, I don’t know if I can…”

No one had ever really said that to him and meant it as he knew that Andy did. Jesse could feel the panic in Andy’s body, the way he shook and the way he hung his head down, stealing upward glances at Jesse’s face and he felt the love, actually felt it as it reached out for him, hoping to be received as freely as it was being offered.

Jesse “Don’t sweat it, I am happy, really”

Andy “But, I mean, I don’t know if I can do what, what will, Jesse I am sorry, I never really been with anyone before, I don’t know what to do, how to, you know…”

He saw the tears rolling down Andy’s face and he knew that it meant a great deal to him, that he really did want to make Jesse happy and that in itself was something he never really had experienced himself. It was all so strange, so amazing that he could feel the excitement inside, like a kid on Christmas morning. So many wonderful presents to open and he let his finger reach up, touch Andy just under his chin, and then Jesse lifted up the face, so he could look fully into Andy’s face and Andy into his.

Jesse “You’ll do fine Andy, just being with you, touching you like this, is more than I ever dreamed of, there is no rush, I want to take all the time I can, to enjoy all you are giving me, even just, just standing here is something special to me.”

Andy looked into Jesse’s face and he saw it, the glimmer in his eyes and the way his face shown, almost glowing really as if something inside was lighting up the warm tanned face. It was just like he had hoped but even more so, as he felt the tingle running up and down his spine. His hands were sweating as they rested on Jesse’s hips, feeling the bones and yet feeling more than that, feeling Jesse’s desire for him. It was as Jesse was saying; just just standing with him truly excited Jesse.

Andy “you really mean it don’t you?”

Jesse “Yes”

Andy smiled a small grin and he let his hands move upwards a bit, feeling the thin sides of Jesse and he let his head move closer, his eyes flickering and then closing as he moved closer. He felt the powerful hands tensing up and then he felt the warm wet press of his mouth against Jesse’s and the fires deep inside once more roared upwards, once more ignited the hidden secret desire within his very soul and he moaned now as he opened his mouth, feeling the power of Jesse’s hands as they pulled him closer, pushing his body further into Jesse’s own aching torso.

His tongue felt the tip of Jesse’s tongue and he tasted that warm wet flavour again but this time his tongue didn’t stay still, his heart roared as he flicked it at the probing flesh coming inside and his lips no longer quivered from fear but from excitement as he let his body press inwards, no longer afraid, no longer held in check. He felt the ache growing deep inside, felt his groin burst into flames as Jesse’s warm body curved into his and the hard hands pulled even harder on his tall lanky frame. His hands now moved up and down the sides of Jesse’s body, feeling his rib cage and more than that, he was certain he could once more feel Jesse’s heart racing next to his own.

They held tightly onto each other and their mouths were locked together as their tongues danced inside of Andy’s mouth and then moved to Jesse’s and then back again. The wet taste of passion filled their souls and both boys moaned a little as they struggled for air but refused to break apart until there was no choice. They gasped a little as fresh air filled their lungs and then Jesse began to kiss at the chin and with his strength push up so that he could reach under the chin, tasting the flesh that now burned with Andy’s fiery desire.

Jesse’s tongue licked at the soft warm flesh, tasting the salt and feeling the fire that burned underneath. His hands now moved upwards, caressing the hot heaving back as Andy’s body trembled and shook to his touch. He heard the soft moans now, almost a whimper as he kissed and licked at the hollow of Andy’s neck. He felt him swallow, felt Andy’s throat shake and his hands moved down the warm flesh, feeling the muscles coiling and feeling the nerves tingling as he kissed the top of Andy’s chest. He could feel the hot breath of the boy as he tried to gasp for more air, the excitement within making his chest heave in spasms as Jesse’s hands now held him under the armpits. His fingers were spread outwards in a fan shape as he kissed the warm body, licking at it, dragging his tongue now down the centre of the boys quaking body. His hands moved down to as he lowered his body so he could press harder into the milky white skin.

Deep within his soul he felt the voices rising, the urging pleas of his own tortured spirit rising up in joy as at long last he had found someone to care about, someone that would care for him and it only drove him onwards, more intent than ever to bring more pleasure to the boy he held in his hands. His lips pressed and then h