Chapter 42

“You think we are doing the right thing Chris?”

“I don’t know, we really don’t have much of a choice now, I mean, they had to pick up on all that, they are pretty smart boys”

“I know, that is what scares me”

Chris stopped his slow climb up the stairs and stared at Seth. He was scared? God, if he was scared, then no wonder his own legs were like jelly and he felt like he was becoming petrified wood. Shit, what a way to spend a Saturday, he’d even trade all this for a drive into the country club pond again rather than face his son and Tommy. How do you tell your own flesh and blood that you are gay, that your life has been a sham all these years, that you kept a great big dark secret and then expect him to come to you with his problems?

The fear was almost paralysing and he was trying to keep his cool but Seth’s admission was almost too much. Slowly he lowered himself to the stair, to sit down and just think. This was all moving too fast for him, first his wild love affair with Seth, then being able to get back into his son’s life, then to be given the ultimate gift in being able to share his son’s life full time and now it all lay at risk.

Seth watched Chris sit down on the stairs and he lowered his own bulk down, to sit next to him and to maybe collect his thoughts. This wasn’t like him, to feel so unsure, so tentative. Damn it, he was a hot shot lawyer who should be used to surprises and be able to bounce back quickly and easily, instead he found himself questioning his every move, his every thought. Was this how it was when in love?

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I guess, Seth, are we doing the right thing?”

“You mean in talking to Keith and Tommy? I think so, I know we haven’t really talked about all this but we knew it was bound to happen sooner or later”

“Yeah, we haven’t really talked much about any of this though, I mean, this is for real isn’t it Seth? I mean we aren’t having an early mid life crisis are we?”

“Is that what you think this is? I mean what we have, a mid life crisis?”

“Shit, I don’t know anymore, at times I think maybe it is, but then I know that if it is one, I hope to God it never ends because it makes me feel so damn happy, I just… I don’t know Seth”

“Either do I Chris, hell I used to think I had all the answers, and before you say it I know, typical lawyer, but all of this with Billy and then Taylor has really thrown me, and then you came into my life, everything came so fast, and yet yeah, I do feel like a teenager at times, but is that really so bad?”

“No, no I don’t think so, it is just, well, I don’t know about you, but I have these dreams, of us in ten or fifteen years and well, I kind of like them but do you think of us that far ahead?”

“Haha, no I think more like in 20 or 25 years when I am a senior citizen and you are hitting middle age”

“Bastard, but no seriously Seth, do you think of us in the future? I mean when you dream, am I in those dreams?”

Seth turned to look at Chris and he could see the lines of concern all through his face. The way his eyelashes fluttered, the way the creases around the eyes twitched even as his mind continued to dwell on the ‘what if’s’ of their relationship. To be honest, he had wondered as well, but not in the same way. He wondered if he was deluding himself in that someone as handsome as Chris would want to spend an eternity with him, a seasoned and scarred veteran not just of the legal system but of life. He carried a lot of excess baggage and at times, he wondered if maybe it was too much for Chris.

He looked down at his feet and then back towards Chris. How do you tell someone how much they mean to you? It wasn’t like words counted for much, it was actions and so far they had been so busy in finding each other, in just enjoying the feelings of being with each other, maybe he had forgotten the other things that make up a relationship. Seth reached over and took one of Chris’ hands into his own and looked into his deep blue eyes.

“In my dreams? Yeah, you generally are the one I dream about, and when it is about something else, you find your way there, I don’t know Chris, it is like an obsession at times, at times, well to be honest, I think maybe I am consumed by my need for you, it scares me because the only other time I ever came close to feeling this way was with Chrissy, and well, I never thought I would ever be able to feel that way again, now I do, I am petrified that it too will suddenly vanish”

“Seth, I never…”

“No, I know that gay relationships are tough enough, but to compare with a ghost has to be even more of a strain, then we have my boys as well, especially that blond one downstairs, he is such a force at times, I don’t know how you have stayed this long”

“I guess because I love you”

“You think?”

“Yes, it is just, what happens when we get older? What happens if the sex is not enough?”

“We find a doctor who’ll prescribe some Viagra? Haha, no, I know what you mean, it preys on my mind too, well it did, until I mentioned it to Taylor once.”

“You what? Come on, you talked to Taylor about it?”

“Who else am I going to talk to? I mean it isn’t like we are surrounded by gay friends, and if I mentioned it to you I thought you might think I was unsatisfied with your performance, which I am not by the way, so yeah, I talked to Taylor. Shit, and I thought a jury was tough, talking to your son about sex is even harder”

“Haha, I can imagine, my God, what did you tell him? If you…”

“No Chris, I didn’t go into details, mind you he did to a point, but he had some interesting things to say”

“Such as?”

“That he had the same doubts, he wasn’t sure what would happen, so he asked Billy about it”

“Billy?”

“Yeah, seeing as how he is the senior married gay person that anyone of us knows, but it is funny isn’t it, how things seem to go in a circle?”

“Haha, yeah, so what did the young sex maniac have to say?”

“He told Taylor that he didn’t even think about it anymore because he and Mike don’t have sex now, so it isn’t like he is missing anything”

“What? Like then what was all that downstairs, they don’t have sex?”

“Yeah, they have love now, and then he told Taylor that as stupid as it sounded, they always seemed to want it, to need it and that when they did it, it was like for the first time, always exciting, always fresh and that he figured it was just a part of who they were. He said they spent hours talking now, that it wasn’t just a wham bam thank you ma’am stuff anymore, and well, you saw how it was”

“God yes, and it was so… I don’t know, it just made me feel like I needed you so much…”

“Exactly, but then when Taylor asked him if he ever thought about what it would be like when they were our age, he just smiled and said well, I hope I’ll break my first bed a lot sooner than at age 40 but if not, hell of a good age to do it at”

“Oh shit”

“Yeah, then Taylor looked at me, and he asked me, does grandpa and grandma still do it?”

“Funny that, because you know, they do, I know that maybe not like we do it, or as often but I know that ever since I can remember, Sunday s were their day, you never called them or dropped in on that day. At first I used to think it was because of the day, but I can remember Chrissy telling me once, that my mother had told her, that Sunday my father would take her out, go for a walk or an ice cream cone and that they would sometimes find themselves in the fields, and my dad would have a blanket, and well, I guess they had their spots too”

“Shit, but that is so like Billy, guess we know he got it from”

“Haha, well I think he got it from his mother, she loved to go for walks, to let the beauty of nature take its course and there were some pretty interesting places that were inaugurated into our memories”

“Like a certain water trap?”

“Haha, yeah or a certain look out point”

“So how do you know your parents are still active, that way?”

“Nosy, cause I made the mistake of phoning there a few weeks back, on Sunday, and got told in no uncertain terms to not call back till Monday and I could hear the music in the background, and my father’s voice telling my mom to just hang up, when I think about it now, sort of sounded like me a few times at the office”

“Oh God, really?”

“Yeah, so I guess age really doesn’t come into play, I guess that as long as there is love the fun will always be there, maybe not as often but then again, maybe it is, I don’t know, but I do know I want to find out, with you Chris”

Chris didn’t know how to answer. His heart was beating hard and he could feel the tiny beads of sweat popping up all over his body. His hands seemed to be swollen as he held tight to Seth’s hand. The grip was intense and he could feel Seth’s eyes boring into him, waiting for him to answer and yet he couldn’t find the words. It was as if he was being out for his first prom dance or something ridiculous like that but that the person asking was his dream date, his idol.

“Uh, well, it would be fun to find that out, that is for sure, but Seth, I draw the line at doing it on the fairway, no way you ever going to get me to do that there.”

“Haha, oh? Think so huh? Well, we’ll have to see, maybe it’ll be sooner than you think”

“Oh no, I can see that gleam, no way Seth Bradford, I refuse to do that”

“Okay, we’ll see”

“Somehow I know we will, funny though, I mean we really haven’t talked much about this stuff, why?”

“I know, maybe it is time we did, but, well, each time I think I want to say something, I get cold feet”

“You? Why?”

“I guess, well, because I am afraid of scaring you off, that maybe I am pushing ahead too fast, I do have that tendancy you know”

“No? Really? I would never have guessed, haha, but I guess I can understand that feeling, I have it too, guess we are both a pair of middle aged old farts”

“Hey speak for yourself, I don’t fart”

“Oh Christ, give me a break, after Billy’s chilli you are a walking gas bomb”

“Look who’s talking”

“Hey, least I admit it, haha, but seriously…”

“Yeah, I don’t know Chris, I guess it is like, well listen to us now, we are sitting here on the top steps, and each time we get close to a ticklish subject, we start to joke around”

“I know, do you think it means we are afraid of commitment?”

“Shit, I don’t know, all I know is I hate it when you aren’t around, and when you are I can’t seem to get enough of you, even if you do say I fart, which I vehemently deny”

“I could get Billy to prove otherwise, just not sure if he’s still talking to me”

“Oh he is, otherwise he’ll have me to deal with”

“God listen to you, like he’s scared of that threat, we all know who wears the pants in this family and it ain’t you or me bub”

“Well, maybe we don’t wear the pants, least we don’t throw them on the floor like he does”

“Well, I don’t know, last night you did almost miss the chair when you tossed your drawers”

“I told you, it was an old football injury, and my throwing arm gets a bit wonky at times”

“Haha, yeah right, seemed to be just fine in holding onto my football”

“Christ, your balls aren’t that big”

The two of them sat there laughing, the tension of earlier relieved for now, but it still hung above them, waiting for the right moment to strike out once more. For now, they just enjoyed being there, holding hands and joking around, skirting around the issues that were preying heavily on both adult minds.

They could hear the murmur of voices coming from downstairs and smiled at each other, wondering if Taylor and Jeremy were through reading the riot act or still just getting started. Seth had been surprised by the forcefulness of Taylor’s words but he was thankful for them. He doubted if he could have been any better headway and he was sure that, at least Billy and Mike would listen more to Taylor than to him.

“Are we in trouble?”

Both Chris and Seth jumped at the soft little voice that came between them and their hands suddenly dropped to the sides as they both turned, to see a scared little boy standing all alone a step above them. Seth felt his heart ache and he could see tears starting to well up in Chris’ eyes.

“Of course not Keith, now why would you be in trouble?”

“Tommy thinks we are, do we have to leave?”

“Well Tommy is wrong, and no, we aren’t going anywhere”

“That’s right Keith, this is your home too, now, you aren’t leaving”

Chris felt his heart swell with pride at Seth’s words and he knew that they had a lot of things to still talk, but it seemed to be getting easier and he knew that he wished he could just reach out and hug the lawyer, but he managed to restraint himself.

“Really? You mean it is okay?”

“Certainly, now why did you think you were in trouble?”

“Cause, well, cause we know the secret and now you know we know”

“Huh? What secret Keith?”

“The one about Billy and Mike, but we won’t tell anyone, honest”

Chris looked at Seth and he could see the blank face come across his lover’s features. Well, it was out in the open, least part of it, and now what did they do? Looking back towards his son, he saw the fear in his eyes and he reached up, opening his arms.

Keith saw the gesture and he watched the way his dad and Seth kept looking at each other. He thought it was strange, plus they did like to hold hands a lot too, just like Billy and Mike did, but Tommy said Billy and Mike did that cause they were bum buddies. Maybe he should ask Tommy but he was too scared of having to leave but now, well it all seemed like Tommy might be wrong. He crawled between the two men and sat in his father’s lap, his arms around his neck and he looked first at his dad, then at Seth and he smiled. Tommy was right about Billy and Mike, but wait till he told him that his dad and Seth were too.

“Now Keith, just what is this supposed secret that you two boys think you know about Billy and Mike?”

“That they like each other, more than, well, like you are supposed to like girls, I guess”

“Uh, well yes in a way that is true, do you know what they call that?”

“Sort of, isn’t that kind of what Mom called Tommy and me?”

“Yes, but she used a nasty slang term, you must never use it Keith, the word is ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual’ but ‘gay’ is good enough”

“Haha, that is funny”

“What? ‘Gay’ is funny?”

“Yeah, cause when Mike really does Billy it makes him scream, he doesn’t seem gay”

“Uh, how do you, what do you mean when Mike does Billy?”

“Has sex with him, isn’t that what they do when one person is on top of the other person and making all those sounds, like when you lift something heavy, but they aren’t lifting anything, they just seem to shake and stuff, how come dad? What are they doing?”

“Uh, yeah, well, uh… Seth?”

“What?”

“HELP!”

“No way, he asked you”

“Thanks, uh well Keith, uh do you know how guys and girls have sex?”

“Sort of, the guy sticks his uh, his…”

“Penis”

“Yeah, that’s it, he puts that into the girls, uh, shit, sorry dad, uh I know the words, we took it in health, it is just all the other kids call it other things”

“Yeah, uh well that’s true, well that’s basically what Billy and Mike do too, except instead of the vagina they do it from the rear”

“Oh, but doesn’t that hurt?”

“Well yes it does, but then it feels good, which is why you may have heard Billy and Mike making those noises, its cause they are enjoying it”

“I see, so then, that’s why they call gays bum buddies?”

“Haha, I suppose so Keith, but I wouldn’t say that to Billy or Mike, they might not appreciate it”

“I won’t, I like them Dad, they treat me and Tommy like we are their brothers, that would be nice”

“Well, uh, yes it would be nice son”

“They really put it in their bums?”

“Yes, they do”

“Do they do it with other guys too?”

“No son, they don’t, and they don’t tell anyone either, a lot of people wouldn’t understand about it, they think it isn’t nice but that is because, well, uh, because they are scared of things they know nothing about, so they make believe its bad or evil, so we have to be very careful about talking about these things”

“Okay, I know that, but why don’t they do it with others who do it?”

“Well, because it is something very special between them only. They care a great deal about each other, so they share, uh, Seth?”

“Yeah, uh, Keith do you know what love is?”

“Sort of, it is when you get all gooey over someone, mushy and stuff”

‘Yes, well it is a bit more complicated than that, it is hard for someone of your age to understand, but it is when two people, guy and guy or two girls or a guy and girl feel really strong about the other person, so strong they don’t ever want to leave them, they want to always be with them, and share all the things the other person does with each other. That is love and when you are in love with someone, you have sex with them, it is a part of being in love”

“You mean like bestest friends?”

“Yes, but more than that”

“More? How?”

“Uh, well, it is like when you wake up you want that person to be there, and when they aren’t you feel sad and lonely, and you stay that way until they are there, or if one of them is hurt you feel worse than they do, and when they are happy you are just as happy too, do you understand?”

“I think so, you mean like Tommy and I are bestest friends, that is how Billy and Mike are except they do more than just rub each other?”

“Not quite Keith, uh they have all those feelings I just told you about, as well”

“But so do Tommy and I, my tummy always hurts when he isn’t around or is mad at me, isn’t that the same thing as what you said?”

“Huh, uh, Chris?”

“Thanks, well sort of Keith, it really isn’t the same for someone as young as you or Tommy, but it is close, just that, well, it is a bit more intense, the feelings that is”

“Oh, so does that mean Tommy and I will be gays when we get older?”

The sweat was pouring down his face and he looked over at Seth. He could see the same nervousness on his face that had to be etched all across his own. How the hell did they get into this conversation? Well, he couldn’t just leave it at this and saying a silent prayer he turned back to his son, catching a glimpse of a twinkle forming in Seth’s eyes and he felt a little better. Whatever happened, he just knew that they would weather it together, as a family.

“Well, that is something you two will have to decide when you are ready to Keith, there is a lot to being gay, it isn’t a choice, it is more like how you feel things inside, for another guy, and as you get older you might find you are more attracted to girls than boys, which means you wouldn’t be gay”

“I’d rather be gay”

“Why?”

“Cause, then Tommy and I could do what Billy and Mikey do, they are always together, its how we want to be”

“Well you two are together now, as best friends”

“If you say so, you know being 13 isn’t all that young dad, we know stuff”

“I know you do Keith, but knowing and understanding it are two different things, you’ll see that when you get older”

“Why do adults always say that?”

“What?”

“That we’ll understand when we are older, you know we aren’t stupid, we understand lots of things, even complicated stuff”

“Yes, well you are both very smart young boys, but sometimes, well, sometimes it just takes time to really understand things, specially the really complicated stuff like love and sex”

“Well I know my heart hurts when Tommy is upset, and I know that if anyone tries to hurt him I will pound them, and he does the same for me, he has, so have I, so why can’t we be in love? That’s how you said it was, I don’t think we have to wait till we are older, besides Billy said he and Mike used to do what we do when he was our age, and besides all that, we don’t want to be with anyone else, we like it when we are alone in our room, touching, so why can’t it be love for us too? Does love only happen when you are older or something?”

Chris was stunned by Keith’s outburst and he looked over at Seth. He could see the concern and also the amazement on his face. Well, this certainly was a different conversation and he had no idea really how to go. He looked back into his son’s eyes and he could see the fierce determination inside, and it dawned on him that maybe there was a lot more to his friendship with Tommy. Life certainly wasn’t dull, least not in the Bradford compound.

“That was quite a speech young man, you planning on becoming a lawyer instead of a financial genius like your father?”

“A lawyer, that’s what Billy and Mike are going to be”

“You really like them, don’t you?”

“No, we love them”

All three head swivelled and looked up at the top of the stairs. Tommy stood there, a defiant look on his face that made Keith smile. He looked so tough, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Keith wiggled off his father’s lap and clambered up the stairs and stood by Tommy. Chris looked over at Seth who had seen the way Keith stood beside Tommy. It was almost a junior carbon copy of how Billy stood with Mike. He tilted his head slightly as Chris looked at him and watched as Chris turned his full attention on the two boys at the top of the stairs. They stood there, defiant and Chris’ eyes widened as he saw them holding hands.

“Well I am sure you do Tommy, in your own way”

“No, we do love them, and not because they play with us either, they make us feel good about being with each other, they aren’t like most big kids or adults, they like us for us, not because they have to”

“Uh, well now Tommy, Chris and I like you both too, we both love you boys very much, there is no need to be angry at us”

“Then why can’t we be like Billy and Mike?”

“No one said you can’t Tommy, we just don’t feel you can understand it all yet, the way Billy and Mike feel towards each other is special, it is something you might not feel as you get older”

“Then we won’t feel it, but now we do, doesn’t that count?”

“Sure it does son, but you don’t want to rush into these things, it takes time”

“See Keith, all adults are the same, I thought you would be different, we can’t help how we feel, and yeah, maybe we don’t fully get it, I mean it is strange to feel this way, but it is how we feel, doesn’t that count?”

“Tommy that isn’t nice…”

“I am sorry Mr. Bradford, I don’t mean to be rude, I really appreciate all you have done for me, letting me come here with Keith, it is just…”

“You didn’t let me finish son, look Tommy, what you said isn’t nice, but I guess in a way it is true, we have kind of ignored how you feel about each other, maybe we should discuss it before we tell you that you don’t understand, I guess it is kind of new to us too, I mean this new for Chris and me too, so maybe we can just talk this out?”

“You mean that?”

“Yes Tommy, I do, after all, I have always told my other boys that you never go into a room with a closed mind, otherwise you’ll miss some important stuff. So, you think you and Keith are in love, like Billy and Mike?”

“Uh huh, we both do, don’t we Keith?”

“Yes, we do, it is like you said dad, we feel all weird when we aren’t together, even at school, when we have different classes, it is like, well, like you said, sad”

“I see, well I don’t know, I guess you may have a point, it is just that it is hard for us older types to accept that someone as young as you two could know and have these feelings, I mean there are a lot of changes that go on in a young boy of your ages, and it confuses you, maybe that is what this is.”

“But it could be that we are in love too”

“Yes Tommy, it could be that too, I guess, well, I don’t know, Seth, its your house, you hold the highest risk here, what should we do?”

“I don’t know Chris, look Tommy, Keith, this is very serious stuff, and I think you both understand that, I can’t say if what you are feeling is love or just the hormones that are popping up inside of you, but there are other things to consider too, so I guess we are all going to have to think about this a little, do you, uh, do you two do more than just rub each other?”

Tommy looked over at Keith and Keith looked back at him. They stood there for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes and Seth could see the sparks flying between them, just like he had seen happen countless times with Billy and Mike. Hell, he had seen it between him and Chris too and he started to wonder if maybe Tommy wasn’t right, maybe age really wasn’t a deciding factor.

Finally Tommy turned back to face both adults. He looked down at his feet first, as if to summon up some hidden reserve of courage and then he looked up to stare at the two men. Chris could see his knuckles turning white as he held onto Keith’s hand tightly.

“yeah, we do more”

It felt like a hammer blow to his stomach and he could feel the air sailing out of his lungs. His heart seemed to suddenly stop as he pondered his reply to the young 13 year old who stood above him. If he over reacted, he could damage the trust that was slowly being built up and he had seen what years of mistrust could do between a father and son already.

The whole notion of two boys so young engaged in sexual intercourse under his roof was disconcerting at best. While Chris had parental authority over Keith, Tommy was a different matter and it was that lack of authority that could endanger his own family as well as Chris. Looking up at Tommy, he could see the fire in his eyes, the defiance that made his own heart swell a little. It was no different than the look Billy had given him so many years ago, when he had found the two of them together. Billy and Taylor had reacted differently, Taylor was the more vocal but while the words had hurt, it wasn’t the words that had pierced his heart so well as the look from Billy, the same look that was now on Tommy’s face.

“I see, well thank you for being honest”

“We do love each other, it really isn’t that hormone stuff”

“I am sure that is what you believe Tommy, I have to be honest though, I am not so sure, but I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt”

“really?”

“Yes, uh Chris?”

“Yes?”

“I guess we will need another box of condoms for these two”

“Are you sure Seth?”

“For now, yes”

“Okay”

“Why do we need condoms?”

“Well Tommy, this house has one very strict rule, you want to have sex you better have a condom, now if I can trust you two in what you are saying about this being love and not just hormones, then you must abide by my rule on condoms”

“Okay, uh, do you use them?”

“Me? Certainly I do”

“Okay, we’ll use them too, okay Keith?”

“Uh huh, but… uh how…”

“Well, I think maybe we’ll let Billy and Mike be the one’s to tell you how to use them, seeing as how they inspire you two so much, only fair they reap the benefits from that hero worship”

Chris started to laugh as both Keith and Tommy quickly agreed and headed off to their bedroom, both of them talking a mile a minute and smiling. God it felt good to see them smile like that and the idea of them asking Billy and Mike on how to use them was a stroke of genius, not to mention excellent pay back.

“Chris?”

“Yes Seth?”

“Next time you come up with a suggestion about leaving a note with a condom, make sure I am out of town”

“Haha, yeah right, blame it all on me, you were the one who didn’t want to wait till morning”

“Yeah, well I didn’t want to wait till morning and find we had no condoms left, you are such a hottie at times”

“At times? HEY NOW!”

“Okay, all the time, now what are we going to do?”

“Get some helmets and head downstairs?”

“Well I want flak jackets, man that blond is going to shoot cannonballs when you tell him the little one’s know”

“ME? HEY HE’S YOUR SON, YOU TELL HIM”

“What and get killed twice in one day? No way bub, this is all yours, besides, it is only fair, a good relationship involves sharing of the duties, this is your share”

“FUCK!”

“Now temper temper there dear, save it for ducking when you tell him”

“Tell who what?”

Seth almost fell off the step and Chris slid down one stoop as they heard the question, and both of them looked down to see Mike standing at the bottom of the landing, looking up at them both.

“Uh Mike, where is Billy?”

“He’s still yapping with Taylor and Jeremy, uh dad, can I talk to you?”

“Sure Mike, uh want to go up to your room or is here okay?”

“Well, here is fine, I just, well…”

“Would you rather talk to Seth in private Mike? I can leave, besides I think Seth has to go down to talk with Billy after anyway and I…”

“No you don’t Christopher Jenkins, you keep that hard body of yours right there, and it is you who has to go talk with blondie, I am too old for combat”

“Uh what are you two talking about?”

“you’ll find out later Mike, after Chris talks with Billy, now what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, well I wanted to say I was sorry, I really should have known better and well, i…”

Seth could see that Mike was starting to breath hard and the light from the room sparkled off his eyes but not from the green, instead it was from the tiny tears that were welling up. He could feel the boy’s panic and dejection and he quickly went down the stairs that separated them and took Mike into his arms. He knew what he had come to say and he also knew that it wasn’t necessary.

“I know Mike, it’s okay, I would have felt the same if it had been me, you don’t have to say anything, except that maybe, well, that you will forgive me for being so ham handed, I really know how much you love my son, and believe me, I know how much he loves you”

“I know, it is just, I wish I could have, I should have thought about the condoms, I didn’t think, I could have hurt him dad, me, I could have hurt him, I never could…”

“Ssssh, don’t beat yourself up Mike, I know exactly how you feel, it is no different for me or Chris or anyone that is in love, the thing is you know now and that is what is important.”

“I know, but what if it is too late? I couldn’t live with myself; Dad it isn’t too late is it? I mean, we are okay aren’t we?”

“I think so Mike, I know it is hard for you, look on Monday I’ll arrange for both of you to get tested, regularly, and that way we’ll know for sure, okay?”

“Okay, but…”

“Mike, I know I am the one who brought up the condoms, but I don’t believe you are in danger, nor is Billy, it is just I want that 100% guarantee, that is all, I know neither of you have been at risk that much, so I am confident that you both are fine, I just want to keep it that way”

Chris watched the two hug and he felt so much pride watching the way Seth had handled Mike’s fears. It really was amazing to see the soft side to him, it didn’t come out all that often, mostly it was the randy teenager that he got to see, which was fun too but this side of him always made Chris weepy. Seeing the man reach out and gently wipe away Mike’s tears and then hug him was almost too much. This was becoming way too emotional of a day and he felt like he just wanted to curl up in Seth’s strong arms and sleep the rest of it away. Or…

His thoughts of how laying in Seth’s arms would lead to a lot more than just peaceful sleep were suddenly interrupted by the inquiring voice of the other half of the teenage bum buddies. He was almost at the bottom when Billy came around the corner.

“Hey Dad, Chris, so this is where you disappeared to Mike”

“Yeah, I needed to talk to dad for a second”

“Cool, uh dad…”

“I know son, me too, oh, Chris wants to talk to you two. I gotta go, they are all yours Chris”

With that, Seth was gone. Both Billy and Mike were looking at his retreating back with their mouths open. They swivelled between the disappearing lawyer and the stunned partner on the stairs. Chris couldn’t believe that Seth had done that, and what was worse; he was faster than he realized. Man, for a guy of 40 he sure could move when he wanted to. The sound of the library door closing and then locking woke them all up. Now the two young boys looked up at Chris, waiting to see what it was he wanted.

He hadn’t a clue what to say, or how to say it. He couldn’t just come out and say oh by the way Keith and Tommy know about you guys and say, can you teach them how to use a condom? Shit, he was really going to have to get even with Seth for this one.

“You wanted to talk to us Chris? Look if its about the condom thing, Taylor has really given us the scoop on them, and well, I know I should have known better, dad isn’t really upset is he?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, no he is fine, I think he just uh, well it has been a rough morning I guess”

“So, what’s it about then?”

“Oh, well, sort of about condoms, uh, you’ll have to let me know how many you, I mean when you need more you’ll let me know so I can pick them up for you guys, okay?”

“Sure, but I thought I’d just put them on the grocery list, that discount place where we get the bulk stuff carries them I think, we could save some money getting them there”

“Okay, sure Billy, uh that’ll be great”

Billy stared at Chris, and he could see the nervousness in his face. Man, the guy was all blotched by red patches and sweaty. Damn, it had to be something else that he wanted, and the way his dad simply took off, that was really unreal. It was like he actually ran to the library, and Chris hadn’t expected it. Well, it couldn’t be any worse than what they had just endured with Taylor and Jeremy. He never knew his brother to be so adamant about this issue and he felt, well rather pleased with himself. It felt good to have Taylor yelling at him, well not the yelling, but the fact that Taylor cared enough to come here on a Saturday was enough to make him feel special.

“So, Chris, is there something else you wanted to say to us? I mean you look kind of, well nervous”

“Nervous? Yeah I guess, it’s your father’s fault anyway, look Billy..”

“MY FAULT? Well in that case, I’ll keep this pillow for added protection then, you can fend for yourself”

“SETH! Thank God… ooops, sorry guys”

Billy started to laugh and Mike was almost rolling on the floor. His father had somehow returned without anyone hearing him but he had one of the huge throw pillows under his shirt, another two in his arms as he stood behind them, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Damn Mike, we need a camera, this is priceless, haha what’s with the pillows dad?”

“Protection”

“From what? Besides, you need rubber, those won’t hold anything”

“Funny boy, you aren’t going to be so funny when Chris finishes”

“Okay, okay I surrender, so what is it that Chris is going to say that you need pillows for?”

“He’ll tell you, come on Chris, spit it out, or I am retreating back to my bomb shelter and locking you out”

“Yeah? Maybe we could start to run and I could shout it out as we leave?”

“Hmm, that might work, but what if they don’t hear it clear enough?”

“Thanks a lot”

“Hey come on guys, what is this all about?”

The joking mood was passed. Seth put the pillows down on the floor and walked over to stand by Chris. He sat down, wondering if being a parent for straight kids was just as nerve racking and then he smiled, knowing he really didn’t give a damn, cause he had the best in the world right in front of him.

“Call it my mid life crisis Billy, but actually this is serious stuff, and I think you and Mike should take a deep breath.”

“Okay, dad you are scaring me again, what is it? I mean I am sorry for blowing up about the condoms, and believe me Taylor has me and Mike convinced, so…”

“Well, condoms come into this, but not the way you are thinking, and thank you, I know you were only thinking of Mike, which is okay, but now we kind of have to get our minds into focus here”

“Oh oh, I hate it when you say that Dad, it is usually something pretty heavy”

“Well, this has that potential son, and there is no easy way to say this, so I am just going to say it, Keith and Tommy know about you two. There I have said it”

Billy staggered a little, until his body was leaning close up into Mike’s sturdy frame. He felt Mike’s body shaking but not from fear, the guy was laughing and that was odd. Why the hell would he laugh, this was dangerous and everything could blow up in their faces. God, if they talked at school, it would be no time before it made its way up to their high school, and what about dad and Chris? Shit, they would come under the gun and God, his mind was becoming overloaded when he felt Mike’s arm around him and he finally turned to see his smiling face.

“What the hell are you grinning at? This is bad”

“Bad? Hell I think it’s terrific”

“You do? And would you like to explain that to me and everyone else here?”

“Sure, means I get to make love to you more often now, cause no more waiting till we think they are asleep, that’s why I am happy”

“You pervert, how can you think about sex when we could be outed anytime soon?”

“Oh Billy, think will you, if they out us, they out themselves”

“Hey just a minute Mike, what do you mean they out themselves? Just what, or how much do you know of what they are doing?”

“Sorry Chris, not that much but enough to know that no one just jerks off and whimpers and moans ten times a night, they have to be doing more and judging by the way they try to listen at our door, I guess they do do more.”

“You figured all that out by them moaning a few extra times and by listening at your door?”

“Well not just that Chris, I mean by the questions they have asked us, I mean some of them were pretty embarrassing. You should have seen Billy’s face turn red, hell it was redder than yours was a few seconds ago when I mentioned them listening at the door”

“You… damn it Mike, you are..”

“I know, thank you, but seriously Chris, I know it has risks, but I feel better with them knowing, it is like trying to hide something that is just too big, I mean loving Billy isn’t something I want to keep hidden, I know I have to, but at home too? I am glad they know, besides, if they learn about us now, and can see we aren’t bad or going to molest them or hurt them, then maybe they can grow up and not become homophobic like so many others”

“It would be kind of hard for them to become homophobic if they are mimicking what you two do in your room”

“Oh not really, I think many of those homophobic types have actually experimented with gay sex, and they found they liked it which scared them, which is why they are so pissed at gays, mind you its only a theory, but well…”

“Okay, you win. But Mike, this is dangerous, what if they talk?”

“I think Billy and I can see that they don’t, and well, to be honest, if they do so what? Our love can survive anything, even being outed”

“That armour of youth, see Chris, despite everything they still have that invincibility shield called youth, amazing isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but still, I don’t know Mike, I wish I could be that confident as you are”

“Well, I wasn’t always, was I Billy?”

“You are asking me? Hell compared to me you were like a rock”

“Hehe, and he says my mind is always on sex, don’t hit, anyhow I had doubts too, but the more I spend loving Billy, the less fears I have, the less there is for me to be afraid of, I mean I have him, what else do I need? No offence dad but if I get a shit paying job, so what? As long as I can come home to Billy every night it doesn’t matter if it is a one room apartment or a mansion, mind you I do expect a mansion, but still…”

“Oh and who is going to buy the mansion?”

“Why you are of course sweetie, unless you start being nice to dad there, so he’ll buy us one”

“My God Seth, did you hear that?”

“Huh? Yes, what about it?”

“They sound like us… I mean seriously, they toss out that they had fears and stuff but then change to see who is going to buy them a mansion, it is like you up on the stairs earlier, my God I have married into a house of comedians”

“Nope, you have married into a house of lovers”

“Damn it Billy, that was my line”

“Sorry dad, but you owed me that from this morning”

“Shit, okay you win, but…”

“Oh oh, I can see the other shoe coming Billy, duck”

“Funny Mike, but well maybe it is, I told Keith and Tommy you two would be better in helping them to understand how to use a condom properly, I mean, after all you are their idols”

“Really? Gee, I don’t know dad, after all we are only rookies at that, maybe we should let the more experienced couple here help them with that?”

“No, this way you will learn faster, besides, I don’t think they know about Chris and me yet, and I think we shouldn’t push that issue right now”

“Okay but what if they ask us?”

“You had to say that didn’t you Billy?”

“Uh huh”

“Then tell them what you think is best”

“Damn it, I knew you were going to say that”

“Did you? Well, guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”

“Hey, that a good one, does that mean he’s gonna grow to be as big as the tree? I can hardly wait then, it should make for some really hot lovin then”

Billy turned and struck out at Mike’s shoulder but missed as Mike had seen it coming. He just laughed and reached out to tickle Billy’s stomach, which made Billy move backwards. The two of them suddenly were back to being teenagers and they chased each other around the landing for a few minutes before Mike headed up the stairs, howling with glee as Billy came right up after him. The sound of their bedroom door slamming almost made the house fall down, but the two adults just stared at each other, knowing that the first lesson in condom use was beginning in at least one bedroom.

The two older men laughed as they watched the horseplay and both of them kept smiling at each other. The day had started rough and now two out of the three couples seemed to be engaged in some rather tender moments. Chris smiled at Seth and he could feel his lover’s heart doing flip-flops. It really was something, the way they could just sense each other at times, maybe that was what Mike was trying to tell them, that nothing really mattered except the welfare of the people you loved.

“And just what are you grinning at?”

“Oh just how things in this house always seem to wind up with bedroom doors slamming”

“Oh? Well I guess it’s the air”

“Haha, yeah right, so looks like we are the last once again gramps”

“Gramps? Listen you young whipper snapper, and besides, we aren’t the last, Taylor and Jeremy are still in the kitchen”

“Oh in your dreams old man, they took off to the apartment ages ago, hell I think they beat Billy and Mike by ages”

“Now just how do you know that?”

“Easy, there aren’t any groans coming from the kitchen, their car is still outside and Billy came out of the kitchen with one of those, ‘I know what they are doing’ grins of his, so there, just me and gramps left”

“Well then granny, we better do something about that”

“Granny? Hey now just a minute there…”

“Yeah? If I am gramps, has to make you granny”

“Damn, teach me to argue with a hot shot lawyer, okay gramps, come on granny needs some of that special aged milk you been hogging all day”

Seth laughed and then he bowed to Chris. After that, he offered his arm just as they did in the old silent movies, and like a true ancient gentlemen he walked stiffly towards the bedroom, with Chris’ hand lightly resting on his arm, just above the wrist. Had any of the kids peeked out, they would have howled but fortunately, no one did and once inside, both of them started to laugh.

The tension of the morning just seemed to evaporate once they entered the bedroom and Chris reached over and kissed Seth lightly on the lips, tasting him for the first time today since breakfast. It felt good and he could feel his heart picking up its pace, beginning to race forward as his body started to ache in all the usual places and even a few other spots.

Seth held tightly to Chris, his hands squeezing hard against his thighs and he could feel his fingers almost reaching bone as he felt the fires burning inside of him once more. Damn it was like he was a furnace, the way he kept burning up with the need to feel Chris next to him. Maybe Mike was right; maybe the more you fell in love the hotter your passion grew and the more your passion grew, the more you fell in love. God what a vicious circle, one he hoped to never break because no matter his mind might think, he was feeling like he could conquer the world, just as long as Chris was by his side.

“I don’t think I could have survived this without you Chris”

“That’s how I feel about you Seth, God I can’t believe kids today, can you?”

“No, it certainly is different than when I was their age, I doubt if I could have had that kind of guts at their age.”

“I know, you know something, we don’t have any condoms”

“Damn, that’s right, we haven’t gone shopping yet, what the hell, maybe we could go borrow some from Billy and Mike?”

“You are nuts, I ain’t knocking on that door or asking, you want to, go right ahead”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Oh Christ, that old chestnut, yes Mr. Lawyer I do love you but I ain’t crazy either, you want a condom, you go knock otherwise, why don’t we just see if you really do have the softest hands on the west coast, haha”

“Haha, you win, come here sexy, and I’ll show you just how soft those hands are and how moist my lips are”

“Cool”

Chris walked up towards Seth and reached around him, placing his hands around the back and snuggling in close. His head now level with Seth’s and his body arching inwards, feeling the hot throbbing pole that had suddenly appeared in Seth’s pants. Damn it felt good to be so wanted, so loved and he closed his eyes as his lips gently pressed against the moist lips of his lover.

As their lips touched, they both could feel the electricity between them. Seth’s heart began to beat strong and fast, while it felt the sudden fanning of flames deep within Chris’ soul. Together the two began to moan a little as Seth’s mouth opened to let Chris’ tongue come slowly inside. There was no mad rush, no sudden dash and Seth felt his body shudder as he tasted Chris’ tongue.

His mind was beginning to cloud over and he could feel the desire within him start to glow, slowly rising once more to the surface and he sighed deeply, enjoying the wonderful sensations that were pouring into his mouth and through his whole body. With each passing day that he spent with Chris, he felt like he was slowly building a house made from love.

Nothing else seemed to really matter to him anymore, other than how to make Chris smile, how to make him laugh or how to simply make him happy. He had no illusions that his lovemaking wasn’t super, or that it was anything like what his kids were doing, but God it sure did feel like it. All he really knew was that their lovemaking was something that totally exhausted him, totally drained him of all energy and yet despite all that, he wanted more, needed more and he felt his body crushing forward into Chris’ firm body.

Seth’s cock was standing straight out, the pants threatened with being ripped apart by the sheer force of pressure coming from his dick and he could feel the same hardness against his thigh from Chris’ own throbbing organ of love. The pressure was making him sweat and he reached down with his hand, brushing past the hard pole sticking into his leg and he could hear Chris moaning deeply now as he rubbed his hand back and forth on the throbbing cock, the pants of his lover becoming wet from the oozing pre cum.

Still locked together by their kissing, they slowly moved over to the bed and Seth almost broke out in laughter, remember another time when they had moved to make out on the bed and the bed had broken under their sudden weight. This time he took his time, carefully edging towards the bed, still feeling the harsh raspy tongue rolling in his mouth, still feeling the wild desire coming in from Chris’ mouth.

As his feet touched the side of the bed, he felt Chris groan and then he felt the strong hands of his younger lover reaching for his pants, reaching for his button and then he heard the pop as his cock lurched forward, the sudden release sending his zipper flying down to the bottom. His pants slid down his quivering legs and he groaned deeply as he felt Chris’ hands pushing at his belly, trying to push the elastic waistband of his boxer’s down.

His heart was pounding and he breathed in deeply, taking the breath straight from Seth’s own lungs, filling his with the very breath of the man who held his heart in his hands. He loved the feeling, the way Seth was so gentle at times, and at other times was like a teenager who just had discovered what sex really was. The taste of his man grew more intense as his hands fumbled with the shorts, and then he felt the strong hands of Seth on top of his own, and now he felt himself moving down, as his hands pushed the boxer’s down.

Chris tried to keep his lips pressed up against Seth’s, but as he moved down he slowly was forced to let go, but he continued to kiss his man. He kissed at the chin, and then under the chin and down his long neck until he came to the chest. Seth still had his shirt on and Chris’ hands were busy elsewhere, and yet he still kissed him, kissing through the shirt itself as he moved down.

Seth’s scent wafted up into his nostrils, making them flare and flash as he breathed in that special manly aroma again and again. His whole body started to quiver, as he smelt the fragrance, felt it roll past his nostrils to fill his entire body with its warm wonderful scent. His legs started to shake a little and his arms were growing numb as he pushed Seth’s shirt aside, kissing at the warm masculine belly that now shone in front of him. His hand rested around Seth’s hard back legs, the muscles taut and feeling like pure steel.

His hands flexed and he dug his fingers hard into Chris’ shoulder as he felt the raspy tongue licking at his soft underbelly. His skin felt like it was on fire, and the flames of his passion were bursting through the thin fabric of his skin. His heart was reaching a crescendo of noise as it beat hard and fast, each beat making him shake, each beat bringing him closer to that point of no return.

The touch of Chris’ hands on his balls was almost too much for him. He leaned forward, almost toppling over onto the bed, but his fingers dug in harder, Chris wincing momentarily from the pain. His whole body was in one spasm after another, as the hands gently played with his full balls, making them swing to and fro and then side-to-side. He groaned loudly as Chris’ mouth was lightly brushing past the hard throbbing pole of his cock, making it jerk as well and he knew that if Chris took it in now, it would gush like Mt. Vesuvius.

With a sudden gasp for air, Seth started to shake and rock as Chris plunged his hot mouth over Seth’s steaming penis. The hot throbbing cock was sucked up eagerly by Chris’ mouth, lodged deep down his throat and then suddenly once more thrust outwards, the cool air flowing over the hot flesh and then once again, just as quickly it was pressed back into Chris’ mouth. The firm lips held onto the hard flesh of the cock as it passed in and out of his mouth, each thrust making Chris’ own body tremble with excitement.

Seth couldn’t breath, his heart was racing too fast and all he could see was the thin flashing lights of long red bars, followed by just as small blue lines. His body shook, his legs were starting to collapse under him and he leaned forward, his entire weight almost now resting on top of Chris’ shoulders. He felt the deep sucking and his balls no longer were listening as they swung upwards, emptying their precious fluid before they were even tight up against his cock root.

His buttocks clenched tightly as his whole body shook with the giant explosion that suddenly came to him. His mind was blank now and yet he could feel the strange embrace of love that surrounded him. His heart was pounding itself to pieces and yet his soul was singing and dancing within his body. The harsh flames of his love suddenly flashed outwards and he felt a sudden jerking and moving back by Chris but that was quickly stopped and he felt a renewed thrust into his body as Chris pulled hard on his lower legs.

Chris’ hands pulled him inwards, his back leaning backwards, while his groin was being eagerly sucked into Chris’ waiting mouth. His pubic hairs were not etched firmly into Chris’ forehead as his cock continued to shake and shudder and his hands continued to dig into the hot fleshy shoulders. The bone beneath his hands groaned from the pressure and Chris moaned, his mouth full of Seth’s love as the hot white liquid flowed past his throat and entered his entire body. His heart suddenly exploded and he could feel himself shaking as his lips continued to have a stranglehold on Seth’s throbbing cock.

The huge thick cock continued to buck and jerk and still Chris refused to let it out and he swallowed furiously, desperate to gather each and every drop of the hot cream, tasting it and feeling it against the very back of his teeth as the giant organ continued to shoot its load into his mouth. Chris was barely hanging on, his own body collapsing under the tremendous force of the ejaculation and slowly his lips were forced to surrender to the inevitable force of nature.

Seth had no idea how he was still able to stay standing, his legs felt like rubber and his feet were slowly slipping away from under him. His arms were heavy from the strain and the river of sweat that was pouring down from his forehead clouded his eyes. He groaned a little softer now as his body continued to heave and thrash a little, as the final small after tremor left him and the last of his milk dripped into the swirling lake of his milk that was inside of Chris’ mouth.

In one last slow rumble, he fell to one side, his body collapsing totally under him and he watched as he sank down towards the bed. Slowly his eyes could see Chris leaning against the bed, his legs spread out and his chest heaving, drops of white covered his chin and the corners of his mouth. Seth fell to the bed, his hand breaking his fall and then he too simply slid off the side, to rest panting on the floor next to Chris.

The sound of a fist on his door was too much for him, he had just hit the floor and his breathing was still labored and ragged. He could barely contain his sudden anger at being disturbed.

“WHAT IS It”

“Uh, it’s me dad, sorry, but uh do you guys have anymore condoms to spare?”

“WHAT? Taylor gave you two a whole box”

“I know, what can I say, some of the experiments didn’t work, we need more”

“Shit, okay, in a minute”

“In a minute you’ll give us some?”

“No, geez, in a minute I’ll go get you some, why can’t you go?”

“Well uh, we can’t, so a minute huh?”

“YES A MINUTE, GEEZ”

“Hehe okay dad… HEY, MIKE! It ONLY TAKES DAD A MINUTE… YOU WIN”

“BILLY!”

“HAHAHAHA Seth he got you good”

“Why that little… I’ll give him… a minute my ass”

“Well it was rather fast this time dearie, maybe you should be granny and I’ll be gramps”

Seth reached out with his last ounce of energy to try and strike at Chris but Chris simply fell off to the other side, laughing hard and holding his stomach, Seth’s cum drying on his lips as he struggled to catch his breath.