Invitation from Hell

By Ian Kovnats (Gaystoryman)

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

He stared at the simple invitation. It was a white note card, addressed to Freshman Taylor, hand delivered as well, and yet he hesitated in opening it. There was nothing simple about it, plain looking it might be, but the golden embossed symbol on the envelope flap, the circular indentation of Sigma Phi Tau was anything but plain.

He was a freshmen, only his fourth day on campus actually and already he knew about the infamous fraternity, that made him shiver. It wasn’t that he opposed pledging to a frat, it was something he had looked forward too simply because of all the encouragements he had gotten from his friends and family.

Yet, in his hand, was an invitation to the one ‘house’ that no one would elaborate on, or even discuss. It was known, and many of those in his freshmen orientation class seemed to all know the house, know that stigma attached to it, yet wouldn’t tell him what it was. Sure, others had been on probation, but this one was different, so they said.

How, he hadn’t tweaked to yet, as no one was willing to discuss it. Some smirked, others got that look in their faces, like you would see in a deer suddenly caught by blinding headlights. In some ways, it excited him, yet for the most part it scared the crap out of him. This was so much different, so much bigger than he was used to.

Back home, High School had been traumatic enough. It meant bussing for nearly 2 hours each day, as his small town couldn’t support its own High School. He and his friends had to get up super early, to do chores then be ready for the bus, just to get to school on time. Coming home meant late supper, after dinner chores down in darkness because of the long bus journey. He didn’t really mind that, but compared to that, coming to College was a huge step forwards.

Least in High School he had friends, people he knew. Here he was a stranger, an interloper who many looked on as just a hick from Dumbsville USA. Okay, so he didn’t have designer clothes, didn’t have a clue what a ‘blackberry’ was, let alone own one. He was not used to all those fancy gadgets everyone seemed to have.

Phones that seemed to do more than just talk on. Phones with cameras, text messages, and even surfing the internet. It all was confusing, as he struggled with some of the terms too, and he felt like everyone kept staring at him. Just because he didn’t have the fancy sneakers, the right shirt with little symbols, or backpack that had the right number of pockets.

He wasn’t a jock either. Another seeming cause for disbelief by some. He might be tall, slender but well built. His arms weren’t flabby, and he was definitely tanned. He had a body that seemed to say ‘jock’ to everyone, though he just never had time for it. Between pitching hay, digging furrows in the ground with the tractor, who had time to spend hours after school playing games? Besides, if he missed the school bus home, it would have meant walking home.

Now he had to decide, would he go to the introduction that the invitation requested, or would he continue to just be a shadow that no one seemed interested in? The jostling, the glares, all made him feel so out of step, so alone, that looking at the white invitation, the well proportioned writing on it, he felt like it was perhaps his only opportunity to fit in, or was it?

One of his roommates at the dorm had already received 8 invitations, though not from Sigma Phi Tau. When he had shown it to Derrick, he had seen his eyes cloud over, his face become stretched even, as he handed it back to Taylor, mumbling nice. He wouldn’t discuss it, but he also noticed how Derrick kept looking at him, when he didn’t think Taylor was noticing.

Shortly after, the others on the floor also kept looking at him weird, and they would quieten down when he walked into a room, as if they didn’t want him to hear. He had no idea why, what the problem was, but he knew it began after he had received this ‘simple invitation’. No one would tell him why, no one would really even talk to him, they would answer him but in a manner that made him feel like he was a leper or something.

Out of curiosity, he had located the Fraternity House. It wasn’t on Frat Row, but off in an out of the way location on campus. Well on the fringes of the campus, but from what he had seen, it looked no different than any of the other fraternity houses, except perhaps being less drab looking, and located out of the way.

His palms were sweaty as he decided to at least go, to at least see for himself what made everyone seem to shy away from even talking about it. He also wanted to find out, why the mention of it made so many look at him differently. Maybe it was a frat house for hicks, or boobs? Even the few who would talk to him, wouldn’t say much, other than ‘if that’s your thing man, go for it’ but never anything more.

The night was rapidly coming, as he walked towards the Frat House. He had decided to take the long way, to go past the other houses, on his way to the other side of the Campus. He saw many from his dorm going into some of the houses along the street, others were sitting out on the porches, drinks in hand, and music blared from just about every one of them.

He stopped at the Student Union building, where he posted his letter to his best friend, Tommy, who had gone off to college in California. He wished he had gone with him, but his family couldn’t afford it. Taylor didn’t know how Tommy’s folks had, but he missed him now. They could share anything it seemed, and he had known Tommy since he was a tyke learning to ride a horse.

Now he was clear across the country, and he missed him deeply. Strange how he felt too, because it never had really dawned on him before now, at how close they had been. They had shared so much, how they had both felt after experiencing their first kiss, their first touch of a female’s breast. Now he had no one to talk with, to share with, and as he walked along the open pathways, he felt himself hesitate, wondering if he had been right in going off to college.

Before he realized it, he was at Sigma Phi Tau. The place was well lit, and yet the path up to the house seemed dark. There was no one outside, not even bright lights along the porch. You could see the lights from the various windows, except the one’s on either side of the massive front doors.

Climbing up the stairs, he was startled to see someone move from out of the shadows. The guy looked huge, bigger than some of those who played linebacker in football. He was in dark clothing, had a look that made him feel like he was about to get throttled if he said the wrong thing. With a trembling hand, he held out the invitation, unable to speak.

The huge man smiled, and opened the door, gesturing for him to step in. He quickly entered, feeling afraid, yet relieved. Stepping in, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, and then a man about his size, his build came out from a closed off room. He had a pleasant face, that immediately put him at ease, as he stood there.

‘Hi, I am Ryan’

‘Taylor’

Ryan smiled as he took out a small notebook, and then looked up at Taylor.

‘Looks like you are on my list, why don’t you go up those stairs, turn left, all the way down to the door at the end. Just go on in, and I’ll be up in a minute to explain it all to you. The door has the number 11 on it.’

He did as he was told, and as he climbed the stairs, he kept looking back at Ryan. The guy was good looking, though he tried not to think of that. It had been something he hadn’t even told Tommy about, nor would he ever tell anyone about. Given how people thought back home, he knew he couldn’t tell Tommy. Besides, what could Tommy do, except maybe stop being his friend? That was not something he ever wanted to contemplate, though as he walked down the hall, he wondered if maybe now he could tell him? After all, it wasn’t like they were back at home, or would see each other anytime soon, so maybe he could?

Walking into the room, he saw a typical bedroom, more like his own back home, except for the posters. No huge posters of the latest female sensations, but instead pictures of men. It was interesting as he walked around, staring at the various faces and figures that adorned Ryan’s wall.

There was one, that made him stop and gawk at. A poster for Calvin Klein, that gave him an instant hard on. He had seen that ad, briefly before his mother had shut the television set off. It had given him strange dreams for over a week, now here was a poster from that ad, and he knew he would have those dreams again. His hand moved down to his crotch, rubbing it a little, then feeling guilty as he turned to make sure he had closed the door.

The door opened, surprising him and he quickly turned around. He noticed Ryan as he came in, at how he looked at him, checking him out, or so it seemed. He felt strangely uneasy as he stood there, waiting for him to speak. He had to admit, the guy seemed nice enough. He had nice long hair, his mouth had a thin pale color to it, and his nose seemed a bit on the small side, though you could see it had been broken from the uneven line of the bridge. The eyes, they seemed to be daunting, as he looked away from Ryan, feeling he was under inspection.

‘Relax Taylor, we don’t bite, least I don’t.’

Taylor didn’t know why, but he still felt uncomfortable, despite Ryan’s attempt at putting him at ease. He didn’t know why, but he could feel himself tremble a little as he stood there.

‘So, I see you got our invitation.’

‘Uh yeah, I did.’

‘And?’

‘I don’t, I mean uh, why? Sorry, I mean to uh… this is all different, strange, you know?’

‘Yes, I guess it can be. Do you know anything about us? Our history or anything?’

‘No’

‘You considering any of the other frat houses?’

‘Huh? No, no it isn’t that. I mean, to be honest, no one else asked, so I sort of, I mean uh…’

‘I see’

‘I don’t, sorry, this is all confusing, no one will tell me about this fraternity, and when I mention it, I uh.. I mean they uh…’

Taylor watched Ryan sit down on his bed, and look at him. His eyes were searching him, which he found disquieting. It was like an inspection for something that he hadn’t a clue about. It was more than that, and while most of him felt uneasy, part of him felt a bit flattered. Ryan was pleasant to look at, which troubled him. Last thing he wanted was to give a wrong impression, yet as he glanced up at Ryan, he felt a sort of bond, a sort of strange connection, as if Ryan could read his thoughts.

‘Do you want to join a fraternity? Any fraternity?’

‘I think so… seems a good way to find friends.’

‘It is, though it’s a bit more than just casual friendship, it’s a lot more actually. In fact, that’s how we got your name.’

‘I don’t, how? I mean who?’

‘Friend of yours, from your home town, he’s given us your name, a Tommy?’ Ryan peered down at some notes, and then looked back up. ‘Yes a Tommy, Tommy Winters, you know him?’

‘Tommy? But he’s in California, I don’t know why he…’

‘He’s pledged our chapter out there, and recommended you’

‘I see, so uh, what’s next then? I mean if Tommy, uh, I mean…’

‘You trust this Tommy? He’s more than just a friend?’

Taylor felt suddenly on edge. The way he said ‘more than just a friend’ had his mind feeling uncertain, cautious. Looking at Ryan, he couldn’t see any signs of danger, signs of being set up for something.

‘We grew up together, best friends is all, why?’

‘No reason, uh, you know nothing about us?’

‘No’

‘You know about pledging to a fraternity?’

‘Sort of, there is some silly stuff or such, nothing that is uh, too weird, or such.’

‘Well it is supposed to be that, though I guess it’s a matter of opinion on what is silly, what isn’t.’

‘I see.’

‘Don’t think so, but the key is that what goes on here, stays here. We don’t talk about it, and we keep it among ourselves, even those who don’t make the initiation. Think you can agree to that?’

‘I think so.’

‘Not good enough Taylor. Sorry but you have to be definite. In fact, we require a signed statement to that effect, we even have a lawyer who you have to see, to sign the statement in front of.’

‘Seems bit uh, scary. I mean, I don’t know anything about you or this fraternity. No one seems to want to tell me, including you, but I have to agree to say nothing, when I don’t know nothing. I don’t know… I mean, my daddy, he told me, never sign anything without reading it.’

‘Haha, fair enough Taylor. Naturally you get to read the statement, the question is, are you willing to sign such a statement, once we do explain more of what we are about?’

‘Yeah, I mean, doesn’t seem like that would be a problem, just all seems so, legal. Makes me nervous, coming from where I do.’

‘There is an initiation process, called ‘hell week’ but in all fairness, we take a different approach. All of our ‘hazing’ is done in house, we don’t make you walk around campus in dresses, or do stupid stunts like run a bra up a flagpole, or any of that stuff the other’s do. Okay?’

‘So far. I guess so.’

‘There are only five invitations given out this year, one has already refused, which leaves four, including you. For the next week, you will live here, we have two guest rooms, you will share with one of the other pledges. Clear so far?’

‘Yes’

‘Good, you can leave anytime, if we aren’t your cup of tea, we don’t make you stay. You can leave anytime, but whatever goes on up to then, it stays here, is that clear?’

‘yes’

‘We aren’t sicko’s, we don’t go in for binge drinking, drugs, or any of that shit. You do any drugs Taylor?’

‘huh? No, no I don’t, I mean okay, smoked some pot a few times, but nothing else.’

‘Drink?’

‘Beer, now and then. Tommy and I would have a few on a weekend, after chores or something.’

Until then, Ryan was checking off stuff on a list he had out on his lap. As he mentioned Tommy his head perked up, and he stared at Taylor in an odd way. He felt like maybe he had said something wrong, or too much even. But Ryan didn’t comment on that, but turned back to look at his list.

‘You a virgin?’

‘What? I uh, geez, no.’

‘Had a recent AIDS test?’

‘I use condoms , I don’t understand, uh, that’s uh.. I mean…’

‘No is your answer?’

‘Yes, I mean no I haven’t had an AIDS test.’

These questions were making him uncomfortable. He could feel the sweat beading up on his forehead, not to mention that he was certain he was blushing. Ryan wasn’t saying much, but he did give him a strange look from under his eyes, as if he was not giving the right answers. His palms were sweaty, as he stood there.

‘you a registered voter?’

‘Back home, when I turned 18, yes, I registered.’

‘Democrat or Republican?’

‘Independent, but uh…’

‘Relax, just routine questions, nothing to get nervous about.’

He licked his lips, feeling very uncomfortable. Then too, he couldn’t help but notice how Ryan sat on the bed, how his legs were spread apart, feet planted firmly on the floor. But it was his groin that seemed to draw Taylor’s eyes, even though he tried not to look.

‘Signed up for any clubs on campus?’

‘No, not yet.’

‘Off campus?’

‘Huh? No, just trying to find where all my classes are is enough for now.’

‘Heavy class load this term?’

‘I suppose’

‘What about fags?’

His eyes popped open, and he looked up, to stare into Ryan’s face. He had put his pen down, and was looking at him. Taylor felt the perspiration dripping off his face, as he tried to figure out why he was being asked that.

‘I don’t uh, I mean, it uh…’

‘You against them, hate them, okay with them, which?’

‘I don’t hate anyone, I uh, I never uh, never thought about it. I guess I am okay, that’s an odd question.’

‘Not really. So you aren’t gay?’

‘WHAT? I mean… Uh, I don’t think, that isn’t anyone’s, uh no, no I am not, I uh, you are confusing me, what kind of place is this? Next you going to uh ask me what religion I am? I uh, I don’t think that uh…’

‘If you’re okay with Gays, why are you so upset?’

‘I don’t like being accused of, it’s no one’s business.’

‘Then why did Tommy recommend you to us?’

‘Huh? I don’t, what does Tommy have to do, what? I don’t…’

‘We are a gay fraternity, haven’t you figured that out?’

‘no’

He realized now why everyone in his dorm looked at him weird, why they grew quiet when he entered the room. He had been invited to join a queer fraternity, and so they thought he had to be gay too. It was making him shake as he looked at Ryan, whose face showed no emotion, not a hint at what he might be thinking.

How dare Tommy do this to him, he thought, as he tried to figure out what he should do. Part of him seemed to want him to listen, while his instincts were telling him to turn around and leave, as fast as he could run. He could go back to his dorm, explain he had no idea it was a gay frat house, that he had left, tearing up his invitation. It would work, they would believe him.

It could get him into another frat house too, though he knew that was a slim chance. They seemed to know, and deep down, he sort of did too. Still, Tommy recommending him, but then it hit him. Tommy had pledged to the house where he was, which had to mean that Tommy was gay. Why the fuck hadn’t he ever told him? Did he think he would turn on him?

Taylor felt his head swimming, as he thought about it all. He looked around, and saw a chair by the desk. Glancing at Ryan, he saw him nod and he pulled the chair out, to sit on it. Tommy was gay, and he had never known it. Yet, thinking about it now, he had to have known, just as Tommy obviously knew about him. Shit, if he hadn’t been so worried about how Tommy would take it, of how he might blab it all over, maybe things would have been different between them.

‘I didn’t, uh, I mean… Tommy, he is?’

‘You didn’t know?’

‘No, not uh, we never uh talked about it.’

‘But you are, you like guys, right?’

‘I don’t, I mean… I uh…’

He felt like he didn’t know Tommy, and yet as he thought back, at the stuff they had done together, it sort of fit. The way they would talk about girls, the way they would jerk off on the weekends, talking about girls. Yet he had been thinking about Tommy, without letting on. Now maybe Tommy had been thinking of something else, or someone else, and it wasn’t the girls.

It was too much, yet when he stared over at Ryan, there was something in his eyes, something in his face, that made him realize it wasn’t a put on, a joke. If it was, it was fucking cruel, but how would he know about Tommy if it wasn’t true? Still, Tommy telling these guys, coming out to them, and not him?

In a strange way, he felt like Tommy had betrayed him, and let him down. In another way he realized it was probably the only way his real feeling would come out. Tommy was never one for saying how he felt, just as he wasn’t. It was things guys didn’t do, least not back home. Maybe that is why he had pushed so hard to go to California, to take the razzing from the other’s at school, so he could open up, be what he was.

But why hadn’t he told him? Ryan wasn’t pushing, just looking at him, and as he glanced over, feeling all those different emotions, he still found his eyes checking Ryan out. Even under all this pressure, this news, he could feel himself wondering about Ryan, wondering what kind of dick he had, or how it tasted. He always wondered about that, what a cock would taste like, feel like to his touch.

‘You want to think it over?’

He glanced up, to see Ryan staring directly at him, and as his eyes met Ryan’s, he saw him glance down, saw him check him out, just as he had been doing. He felt flushed, his face growing red as he knew Ryan had seen him looking. His pulse was a bit fast as he tried to think, tried to see if this was a game, a form of humiliation.

What if Tommy had recommended him, but it wasn’t to a gay frat, but some other type, and this was their test, their way of elimination of undesirable pledges? He had heard of how some initiations were downright nasty, but that usually involved booze, drugs, but he had no one to talk to, to discuss it with.

‘I don’t know, maybe.’

‘Well, I hope you decide to try, I am kind of looking forward to being your Pledge Master’

‘You? I mean, what would I have to do?’ Taylor couldn’t help it, but he looked at Ryan’s crotch, noticing the bulge. It made him quickly look back up, but his glance hadn’t gone unnoticed.

‘Sorry, not until you sign the pledge, after meeting with the lawyer, and move your stuff in, then, well then you’ll find out all the details. Not until then.’

‘Not even a hint? I mean, this is all so, uh, so out of the blue. I mean Tommy gay, I didn’t even, I mean I didn’t even think there were gay fraternities.’

‘We don’t generally advertise it, see that poster, the one of the guy in underwear?’

‘Yeah’

‘He was a member before he struck it rich in advertising.’

‘Oh’

‘He had his first gay experience during initiation. Lots of firsts, if you decide to try out. Choice is yours, but I’ll tell you this.’

‘what?’

‘I think you will be glad to pledge to us, and I’ll go one further, I think I will enjoy helping you feel that way, and I know the other’s will too.’

‘Others? I uh, I just, when do I have to decide?’

‘The lawyer is in the common room, now, he can go through all that legal stuff now, and you can either agree, or take tonight to think about it. Or you can decide and just come on back up here.’

Taylor closed the double sliding doors, and stared up at the long stairway, and then over towards the front door. The lawyer had scared him, the way he talked about what would happen if he ever revealed what went on here, or even if ever mentioned the names of those he met. It was like watching a court show on television, where the lawyer starts off nice, then suddenly is screaming at you, accusing you of all sorts of stuff.

He had signed the agreement, though he didn’t understand most of what it said. He knew that whatever he heard here, saw here, he couldn’t tell anyone. Not a living soul, even a partner, or brother or anyone. He knew too, they meant what they said.

Standing there, he wanted to just open the big doors and run back to the dorm, but the vision of Ryan, of maybe seeing him naked, held him there. It had been like that with Tommy too. Having a swimming hole had been a godsend, and he had managed, early on, to see what Tommy looked like naked. It was that same itch, desire, that he now felt for Ryan, but no swimming hole to help.

Every part of him, from his wildly beating heart, to his confused mind, was telling him to run, to leave, but the semi hard dick in his pants was urging him upstairs. He couldn’t explain it, but he wanted to be a part of this, deep down inside he knew it, if he could only have the guts to climb the stares.

Another young man came out from one of the rooms, spotted him standing there and smiled at him. He went past, heading out the door and as he did, Taylor could smell his cologne. It was the same stuff Tommy used, and as he walked out the door, Taylor couldn’t help but stare at his rump. It wasn’t as cute as Tommy’s, but it was firm, well proportioned. It was also making him horny, just as seeing Tommy’s behind would arouse him.

He turned around and headed up the stairs. There was no turning back now, he thought as he knocked on the door with the number 11 on it. It opened, and there was Ryan, grinning and shirtless. It made him break out into a sweat, as he couldn’t help but admire the firm chest, the protruding pecs, and the soft golden hue of his skin.

‘Signed the pledge? No regrets?’

‘No, guess not. So uh, now what? Do I have to drink a gallon of beer, eat some goldfish? I uh.. sorry, I guess I am nervous’

‘Told you, we don’t do that crap. Close the door.’

Taylor did as he was told, and then turned around, noticing the hardened look Ryan gave him. He felt a bit apprehensive now that he had taken that first step as well as from the cold tone of voice that Ryan had used.

‘Okay, we begin now, but first, you can always stop, but remember if you do, if you say ‘no’, then it is over. There are no second chances, so make sure you mean ‘no’, got it?’

‘yes’

‘Good, second point. From now until the end of ‘hell week’ you will end any answer to me, or to any of the other brother’s here with the word ‘sir’. Is that understood?’

“yes… sir’

Ryan smiled as he moved away and sat over at the chair that Taylor had used earlier. He stared over at Taylor, a glint in his eyes, as he looked hard at him.

‘Good, you can get your stuff from the dorm after dinner. Now, first order of business, get naked pledge.’

Taylor stared at Ryan. He didn’t know if it was a joke or not, but then searching his expression, he knew it was for real. He wanted to say something, but the look told him to either do it, or it would be over, right then and there. He swallowed, trying to control his fear, his nervousness as his hand moved and began to unbutton his shirt.

He could feel the eyes watching every move, every flick of his fingers, as they undid the buttons, opening his shirt. Slowly he let it fall off his shoulders, then he kicked off his sneakers, feeling the cold hardwood floor through his socks. He bent down, taking each one off, placing them in the sneakers.

Standing up, he felt his body shudder, as he saw Ryan staring at him, saw him watching his every move. He let his hand move to his pants, to struggle with the button. It took a few tries, until it popped open, and then he unzipped the pants. Taylor hesitated for a second, as he opened the pants, and pushed them down his body. His legs felt the rooms coolness, and the tiny hairs on his legs stood up straight.

His hands hesitated on the waistband of his underwear, as he looked down at the floor. He had heard the small sucking in of air, when he had pulled his pants down. He knew his cock was nearly fully erect, and that it was outlined clearly in his shorts. The feeling of being so exposed made him shake, as he rarely had been naked in front of other men. Glancing upwards, he saw Ryan’s face, saw his eyes staring right at his bulging crotch.

It made him feel so alone, so vulnerable, and yet also excited. Really was an odd combination, as it looked like Ryan really enjoyed seeing his bulge. It was almost like admiration, and as he struggled to grab hold of the waistband, he realized it was a similar look that Tommy used to have.

Carefully he pushed the shorts down, his eyes trying not to watch, but his curiosity was too intense. He wanted to know, needed to know, what Ryan thought of him. As the underwear slid down, as his cock began to appear, he saw Ryan’s eyes widen. Saw him lick his lips, and realized that Ryan was becoming excited by his disrobing.

At last his cock was free, and as he knew, it was erect. It stuck out, pointing at Ryan. Standing upright, he stared at the floor first, then over to Ryan. He had to see, and wasn’t disappointed. Ryan had one hand over his own crotch, and was slowly moving it across, rubbing himself.

‘Very nice Pledge Taylor, but you took too long. Do you know what that means?’

‘No, uh, no Sir.’

Ryan stared up at Taylor, a small smile on his face. He was pleased by Taylor’s answer, which made Taylor feel strangely pleased with himself.

‘It means pledge Taylor that you need to be punished. Think you can handle that pledge Taylor?’

Taylor looked at Ryan. He had felt nervous when Ryan had spoken about punishment. All sorts of things raced through his mind, but the way Ryan looked at him, gave him courage. For whatever reason, he felt like he wanted to please Ryan, no matter the cost.

‘I uh, I think so… Sir’

The warm grin that crossed Ryan’s face made Taylor feel better, less apprehensive. He saw Ryan signal him to come closer, and as he walked forward, there was no mistaking the look in his eyes, as they stared at his hard cock swaying to his motion. It was just how Tommy looked, he thought, as he stood right in front of Ryan.

‘Good, now you will lay across my lap, pledge, and I will teach you why you need to move faster when your Master commands you to do something.’

His eyes blinked for a moment, as he watched Ryan move his hands out of the way. Glancing down he couldn’t help but notice the firm bulge in the crotch and he smiled as he stretched out across the lap of Ryan. He felt his cock pushing up into Ryan’s inner leg, but he also felt the hard bulge in his belly.

It was different, unique and something that somehow felt just right. Nothing in his past had prepared him for that feeling, which seemed to make him quiver a bit, as he felt Ryan’s hand run down his lower back. The touch of his hand made him sigh a little, as he felt the muscles inside tense.

The sudden feeling of pain, the sound that echoed in the room startled him. He felt his buttocks tingle as he realized he had just been spanked with the palm of the hand that only seconds before was caressing his back. He cried out, instinctively. The room was suddenly filled with a pall of fear, of trepidation as he felt the warmth creeping up his body.

The second whack on his bottom was harder, if possible. He felt himself bite off a cry of pain, felt his teeth crush into his lower lip as the pain lanced upwards, along his whole back. Tears were suddenly welling up in his eyes, as he felt himself squirm on Ryan’s lap. He also felt the stiff cock digging into his belly, a suddenly comforting feeling.

The time seemed to just stand still, endless as once more the room grew silent. Then it came, this time he heard the air moving, as the hand was raised upwards, then come crushing down onto his buttocks. The sting hurt, and it made him bite harder on his lip, as he was determined to not let it make him cry out. The pain was short lived, as he lay there, waiting for the next blow.

Each blow seemed to take an eternity to come. Each one carefully placed, carefully delivered, that made him rock each time the palm of Ryan’s hand came down across his bare buttocks. His body tensed to the sound of the air moving from the motioning hand. His nerves tingled in anticipation, as each blow was about to be landed.

His cheeks grew hot, he could feel the warmth invading him all over. The strange sensation of pain seemed to immediately be followed by a sense of exhilaration he couldn’t explain. It was arousing, making him wish that Ryan was naked beneath him, that the feeling of Ryan’s cock into his belly was flesh on flesh. Each blow to his buttocks made him jump, made him begin to moan too, as he could feel his own cock twitching, growing harder with each whack.

Every part of his body seemed more in tune with the other parts. His mind seemed able to pick out the warm glowing feeling, from the hard stinging pain that travelled in advance. His cock felt like it was on fire, which his mind seemed to sense. The urge to try and reach down, to grab it was unbearable, yet he stayed in the prone position, waiting for the next blow.

He could hear Ryan’s shallow breathing, as he continued to strike at Taylor’s now red cheeks. Taylor felt the tears running down his face by the time Ryan had spanked him for the tenth time. The pain felt more intense, though it didn’t last as long before he felt the pleasure. His body squirmed and Ryan had to grab hold of his hips, to pull his body back over his lap.

Each time Ryan’s hand came down, he felt his cock jerk, felt it stiffen even more. He could feel the blood rushing through his cock, feel his balls ache in a way he had never felt before. They shook with each powerful whack that crossed his cheeks. His legs were numb, and all he could think of was how good it would feel to cum , to feel his cum splatter across Ryan’s body.

He knew it was wrong, or thought it was wrong, yet as each blow came to him, each sound of the his hand hitting his cheeks echoed in the room, he felt himself get more excited, more aroused than anything else. His body was trembling as the fourteenth blow came down, across both of his cheeks. His whole body shook to the force of the blow, and he cried out, but not from the pain.

His balls were torturing him, as they swayed from side to side, his cock pressed forward up against Ryan’s legs. He felt the pant legs rubbing his cock head, felt the pleasure it was giving him, and he shut his eyes. Afraid he would lose control, knowing he was already losing control.

The next whack was quicker in coming, and yet the hand lingered this time. The palm of the hand lay flat across one of his burning cheeks, and he moaned softly, enjoying the touch, the simple feel of warmth that now enveloped his whole body. His arms dangled down, his legs were numb, as he felt his body arch up, to feel more of the hand on his buttocks. His cock was like a raging inferno, desperate for attention, and yet he couldn’t reach it, couldn’t even think of how to touch himself.

He felt the legs under him move, felt the one leg that had been rubbing his cock head move inwards more. They were no longer spread far apart, but closer. It made him feel the hard bulge in Ryan’s pants more, feel it press firmer into his belly.

The hand moved off his cheek. Taylor heard himself moan for it to stay, but it didn’t. He could hear the air move, as the hand was raised up, and he felt his cheeks clench. Taylor felt his whole body tense up, knowing another whack was about to be administered. He felt his buttocks rising up, wanting it, desperate even for it. His eyes were shut tight as he moaned in anticipation.

The hand was coming down, he could feel it and he bit his lower lip as the palm of the hand crashed down onto his upraised buttocks. It made his body fall down, hard into Ryan’s lap. He felt the hard cock press into his belly, felt his balls suddenly explode. He couldn’t hold back, as the head of his cock was rocketed forward, into the inner side of Ryan’s leg.

The press of his cock along the pants, made him shake, made his head swim as he felt the rolling explosion go up his spine. His eyes seemed to be blinded as brilliant flashes of lights crossed his vision. The pain in his head was intense, as he felt the waves of pain, felt them mingle with the explosion from deep inside of his body. His cock reared back, and then was stretching forward. His cock head was on fire, as he felt the orgasm, felt his cock shooting his milk, knowing it was splattering along Ryan’s leg.

Taylor heard Ryan’s groan. He felt the body beneath him stiffen, felt it tremble as he continued to spurt, to splash Ryan’s leg with his cum. His heart was pounding and all he could hear in his ears was the roar of his heart. The rush of air, as his lungs were threatening to explode along with the rest of him. His whole body was shaking, as his cock reared back, then shot forward again, and again.

He cried out, his release too much to hold back. Ryan’s own voice was off in a distance, as the roar in his ears was overpowering. Taylor could feel his body sag, feel his panting lungs as his body was spent, no longer able to support its elation.

He felt Ryan’s legs go limb. He felt the knees slide down, as he stretched out. He was panting, almost as hard as Taylor, and he tried to stay on Ryan’s lap. The press from Ryan’s crotch was less than before, and he was certain he could feel a wetness around one spot, as he tried to collect his breath, as they both tried.

Slowly he felt his strength returning, and he managed to turn his face enough to catch a glimpse of Ryan’s face. He saw the cheeks were hollow, as Ryan was trying to suck in more air. His eyes were dull, sweat was dripping off his forehead unheeded, just as it was on his own.

‘you can get off pledge’ rang softly in his ears, as he slowly lifted himself off. He was unsteady but managed to stand at last, as he could now look down at Ryan. He saw the wet stain across the crotch, then noticed the long trails of wetness across the pant leg. He could see its dull grey color against the darker blue of the jeans.

Turning, he stared at Ryan who managed a small smile, as his chest still was heaving. Ryan pointed to the bed, indicating he could sit there, which he gratefully did. He leaned back on the bed for a moment, before propping himself back up, so he could gaze at Ryan.

They looked at each other for what seem ages. Ryan’s eyes kept holding Taylor’s. They looked into him, with a semi glazed look that seemed to make Taylor think of Tommy only briefly. He had seen that look once or twice when they had jerked off together, and yet it was also different. There was no question, no worry about being caught that made Taylor slowly relax.

The sound of a loud bell startled him as he looked towards the door. Then he looked back at Ryan, who was grinning, as he spoke.

‘That’s the dinner bell, I think we both deserve some food, let’s go pledge.’

Taylor grinned back, realizing how hungry he suddenly was. He got up, and went to pick up his clothes, when Ryan’s voice stopped him cold.

‘No, you go as you are pledge. In fact, only when you are leaving the house to go to classes, or outside, you will be dressed as you are now, is that clear pledge Taylor?’

Taylor dropped his pair of shorts, and stared briefly at the door, then over at Ryan. He saw his eyes, felt the tingling still from his buttocks, as he smiled back. He no longer felt afraid, or different either. He had found his home, and wanted to just enjoy it He’d have to call Tommy later, but for now he just wanted some dinner.

‘YES SIR’ was all he said, as he opened the door, his cock stirring.

Marty

Buck opened one eye and then the next as he stared at the reflection of a bed and some balding head peeking out of the rumbled sheets. Christ it even had teeth too but he cringed as he felt the hammers starting once more inside of his head. Shit, he wished they would just stop so he could moved but they seemed intent on doing nothing but hammer at his nerves. The noise inside of his head was way too loud but the damned clock radio was worse. He swore loudly as he moved his hand in a vain attempt to quiet the clock.

The pain of moving his arm made him moan loudly and that in turn set the hammers pounding even harder. His head was definitely ready to explode or at best, fall off. If it exploded it would make too much noise so he silently prayed for it to just fall off. The rumbling in his stomach didn’t help either and he clenched his fist as the throbbing of his temples increased with each waking movement. Christ, he was getting too old for this shit, so he thought as he tried to push the thin cotton bed sheet off his aching body.

Christ this hurts, I am getting too old for this shit, but fuck, I think I had fun, now if I can just make it to the damn bathroom, fuck my gut hurts, shouldn’t have done those shooters but then again, man my head hurts too, I gotta get a grip, fuck its already 8, fuck it, come on feet move it, I gotta get into the shower, oh man this hurts.

Staggering some and almost toppling into his large dresser, Buck managed to get out from the bed and make it towards the bathroom. He took one look at his reflection in the wide mirror and he felt the churning rising up inside of his stomach. He tried but it was not going to work, not this early and he raced for the open toilet bowl. Falling to his knees he leaned over the toilet bowl and hurled.

He hated puking, it hurt and always made his stomach ache for hours after, but as the liquid gung came pouring out, the hammering in his head eased a little as did the wrenching pain around his belly. Christ he hated this, and only the last couple of months did he find himself doing more and more puking. For a brief second he had to admit, he was feeling his 53 years and as he spit the last of the bile out of his throat he sighed.

The crisis was over for the moment as he flushed the toilet once more, and reached for the can of aerosol and sprayed the room. It no longer had that sickly sweet stench of puke but instead was replaced by an even sweeter scent of supposed lilacs. Christ how could they call that lilac, it smelt more like some damn baby shit and he made a mental note to try a different fragrance once this can was empty, which at this rate might be sooner than he had thought. It was his fifth straight night of being out and his second day of having to work but he had should them, he still could party with the youngest of them and that had to count for something.

Splashing cold water on his ancient face, he felt more relieved as the hammering had been reduced to a dull thumping now and he could focus his bloodshot eyes on the ashen face in the mirror. Christ he looked 80 today and there would be talk at the office if he didn’t get his ass in gear and fix his face. Sighing, he dropped his shorts and hurriedly entered the shower, gradually turning the stinging hot needles to a more frigid temperature, letting the warm water first ease his muscles and the knots inside, then gradually letting the colder spray revive his sagging spirits.

The water was working its magic and the thumping inside his head eased some more, but he still couldn’t shake the queasiness in his stomach. He knew he needed some coffee and toast but he just didn’t time. Fuck, he didn’t even time for his morning pleasure of letting the hot water play over his stocky 5ft 8in body while he jerked off. Christ, what the hell was his life coming to when he didn’t even manage to have time to get off in the morning? He shook his head as he turned off the water and grabbed for the towel to dry is short cropped hair. Least that didn’t take long and quickly managed to get his ass out of the shower, despite the rather obvious ache in his groin, but even as he towelled down, he could feel the effects of last nights drinking, as his normally aroused dick was still frigging soft as hell.

Buck slung his suit jacket over his arm as he quickly fled down the stairs towards the kitchen. He saw that his father was up and about and he poked his head into the musty living room and hollered a hello and goodbye as he hurried out the door. He had barely time to chisel away the mornings frost and snow from his car, a relatively inexpensive 1999 VW Beetle. He didn’t care for the car all that much, but it did get him a discount rate on his auto coverage, and according to all the data, it was one of the safer cars for the money, and after all, he should know, it was his job.

The drive to the train station was faster than he thought and as he pulled up he saw him. The skinny kid that seemed to always be at the station on Wednesday mornings, and he could finally feel some life down in his groin. He still hadn’t figured out a way to talk to the kid, and he did wonder what his story was. All he did know was that for the last three months, every Wednesday morning, this kid was at the platform. He always had on the same jacket, a rather worn ski jacket with very old ski tags on the zipper. He rarely wore anything on his head and from what he had seen; he kind of liked the look of him.

The kid couldn’t be more than maybe 19 or 20 but hopefully was just 18 because that was Buck’s fantasy age. He loved to dream about young men of that age and this kid sure did fit his dreams nicely, in fact it helped pass the time of day while the train chugged its way to Hartford where he worked. Buck loved the way his long legs were always fitted in a pair of tight blue jeans, faded and even a bit thread bare but they sure did manage to show off his well defined legs. He wished for a chance to feel those legs wrapped around his own body and the heat of his groin grew and he felt even a bit flushed as he parked his car, set the alarm and grabbing his worn brown briefcase headed to the platform, his eyes divided between looking at the huge clock and the young boy by the luggage bays.

He was so engrossed in checking out the young kid that he didn’t see Rolly Vernon drive up and park and run up to the platform until Rolly slapped him on the back. His head almost came off his shoulders as he swivelled around to stare into Rolly’s eyes. Christ the guy wasn’t bad looking even for a man of 38, and Buck did enjoy the way his basket looked, but that was as far as he ever got. Shit, he wished he could stop relying on an imagination and start getting some of the fucking action his body craved. Maybe he could get Rolly drunk one night and see what could happen, but he knew that was just one more fantasy that would go unfulfilled.

^Rolly “Man didn’t think you’d make it this morning, you sure were tanked last night.”

^Buck “Shit, that was nothing, but I gotta admit, the old head ached for a bit this morning, didn’t see you putting away too much though, what’s the matter, you younger types can’t handle it?”

^Rolly “Christ, I am 38, don’t know that I want to relive my college days now, besides, it was a working day.”

^Buck “Hell everyday is a working day it seems, so any plans for tonight?”

^Rolly “Hell I am staying home, got this girl coming over, lot safer than going drinking with you, even if you are my boss.”

^Buck “Haha, well just wanted to make sure you settled in okay, a girl huh? Serious or just a one nighter?”

^Rolly “Not serious serious but gotta tell you, she has the greatest pair of legs a guy could ask for.”

^Buck “Well sounds like you are set for the night, good think its hump day, haha”

^Rolly “Shit you are bad, haha, yeah I sure hope so, you really hitting the bars again tonight?”

^Buck “I don’t know, maybe not, after all tomorrow night is bowling league, so I might just can the bar scene, maybe I’ll see if that red head up in accounting wants to go our for dinner, could use a shag myself come to think of it, haha”

^Rolly “The redhead? The one with the tits out to the door? Man good luck, heard she’s a real cold one.”

^Buck “Yeah? Hmm, always been friendly to me, well we’ll see I guess, depends what’s on tap for the day, shit, here comes old faithful, wish they’d retire this one and put one of those new one’s on, I hear the seats don’t bite you every two feet. Haha”

The squeal of brakes and hiss of released air prevented any further conversation, which was just as Buck wished for. His head still hurt and the idea of having to talk about anything was still a chore, let alone discuss some damn fish. Christ, one day he wished he could just come out and talk about a cute guy instead of making up some dream date with a woman. It really was annoying that at his age he still had to play the game, even though he had been with Great American Assurance Group for 30 boring years but he wanted that pension and so he kept his real self hidden, one more causality of being gay in Connecticut.

As he boarded his train car, he turned for one last look at the young kid and he stopped in his tracks. The kid was staring straight at him and was rubbing his crotch, as if signalling him and he felt a sudden erection in his pants that was painful even. Rolly pushed at his back and he realized that he was being stared at. He just couldn’t get the kids face out of his thoughts as he more or less stumbled into the train.

^Rolly “Hey what’s with you?”

^Buck “Nothing, sorry, uh that kid back at the station…”

^Rolly “You mean Marty? The skinny kid in the old ski jacket?”

Buck “Yeah, you know him?”

^Rolly “Yeah, he lives with some old lady down the block from me.”

^Buck “Yeah? What’s his story, he’s been hanging around the station every Wednesday for the last bit, kind of looks bit suspicious.”

^Rolly “Yeah, noticed that too, don’t know but in the summer he tries to hustle the neighbourhood for odd jobs, you know mowing the lawn, that shit.”

^Buck “Doesn’t he go to school? Christ he looks young.”

^Rolly “17 or 18 now I think, not sure, from what I have heard, he’s just into being a bum, scams for money anyway he can I hear, usually see him down by the liquor store on weekends.”

^Buck “What a waste, kids today huh?”

^Rolly “Yeah I suppose so. Glad I don’t have any.”

^Buck “Well as long as you keep a raincoat in your pocket you can keep it that way, haha, come on let’s grab a seat, my bones ache from last night.”

The train ride into Hartford was not his usual as Buck just couldn’t get the image of that kid out of his mind. The second that Rolly had told him the kid was no more than 18 his entire body felt like it was going to burst. Christ, to think that he might actually manage to fulfill one of his many dreams was driving him crazy. He couldn’t concentrate and thankfully Rolly wasn’t one of those yappy sorts, so he didn’t seem to mind the silence.

He liked the name ‘Marty’ but his mind was more interested in what lay beneath those faded pants. Christ, the kid had legs that he would love to feel wrapped around his own trunk and the way Rolly described him, the kid just might be open for a proposition, the only trouble really was how to find out if he would be or not? Rolly did say the kid hung out at the local store on Friday’s but he wanted him tonight, hell he wanted him now.

Images of the kids basket floated before him and he wondered just how hung was the kid? Did he have a cut or uncut cock? Was it thick and meaty or was it one of those skinny types that dug way inside? Hell, he didn’t really care but it was entertaining to think about, and it did make the normally boring train ride go faster. He just knew that he had to find a way to meet ‘Marty’ and find out for himself, just what was under those pants. He knew it was crazy and as he climbed down onto the train platform, he knew in his heart that he would most likely do nothing, but damn it, sure would be nice if this once he actually did try.

Buck spent his day as usual except today; well it just wasn’t the same. For some reason all he could think of was those haunting eyes, the kid staring at him while rubbing his crotch. Was it a coincidence or was had the kid targeted him, and how the fuck would he even know if Buck was into guys? Shit, the more that time passed and neared quitting time the more his mind wandered to those few seconds as he climbed the train steps.

Was he reading too much into it? Maybe the kid was just watching the old farts going off to work and got an itch? Didn’t mean he was staring at Buck or signalling him, now did it? But shit, the kid was looking at him, he could feel the eyes on him before he had turned around, so was the rub an itch or a signal? Why would he be looking at him in the first place so no, it couldn’t be anything else but a signal?

Hell Rolly said the kid was always scamming for money, maybe he was hustling more than mowing jobs? Shit in the dead of winter with all the snow on the ground, the kid had to be short of money, and what teenager saved their money? It had to be a signal but how was he going to find out for certain?

Even if it was a signal, how was he supposed to respond or better yet, reply to that signal? He sat at his desk, pondering it despite the mounting piles of paper and he groaned as he finally shook his head and looked at the inbox. Christ, he was falling behind and all because of some kid rubbing his crotch at the railway station. He had to be nuts but he just couldn’t concentrate and so he leaned back in the chair to try to figure it all out. He knew that it could be risky, after all you heard about these kids who set up older gays, to rob them or worse, blackmail them and the kid had seen him talking with Rolly, who he had to know, so was this a set up? Was this ‘Marty’ really just looking for a fast buck or was he looking to make a score?

Sitting there, he wondered how the kid would connect with anyone if he only signalled in the morning? He hadn’t seen him back on the platform when he came back at night but then again, he never did go straight home either. He always went out for a drink at a few of the local bars first, usually heading home on the 11 or 12 train, but if he was just a working stiff, if he didn’t make other stops, he’d be on the 8 and maybe that was when the kid would be there? It fit, the kid had to know the schedules, had to know that the guys heading off on the 9 would return on the 8 p.m. train at night.

His hand moved off the arm of his chair to sit now in his lap and he pushed it slightly against his inner thigh where he could feel the heat rising. The soft flesh wasn’t so soft as his fingers gently pushed against his suit pants. The image of ‘Marty’ standing by the luggage racks filled his vision and he felt his own cock starting to stiffen even more. Christ, he was sporting a full sized boner in seconds and all he had done was think about the kid, what the hell would it be like if he actually could hook up with him?

Just the idea of actually considering trying made him hornier than he had ever been before and he was feeling uncomfortable, wondering if maybe a trip to the john was in order, or should he maybe wait, keep it for later and Marty? Christ, like he was going to luck out and he shook his head and tried to get some paperwork done before he was snowed under. He hated not having a clear desk at the end of the day but he couldn’t help it, his mind and thoughts were just too occupied with Marty. His excitement was tempered by his fear too, because despite being 53 years old, his last real sexual experience with any person, other than his two hands, was over 30 years ago when he was just a kid and in the Navy.

Christ he enjoyed those times, when it didn’t matter to him what others thought or anything, and besides, shipboard life on a Carrier was like one sexual adventure after another. No one gave much of a shit if you got sucked off or not by a guy, it was considered just sex, a way to relief a person until shore leave, not like it was now. God how he hated how the world had changed, all that liberal crap but then he never was one for politics. He voted just as his father voted and his father before him and so on. He was rather proud of that too,that he could trace his families voting record way back past even the Civil War era.

Mind you, the Republicans weren’t really all that much better than the Democrats, but at least they didn’t go so far overboard into all that social crap, like national health plans or such. People needed to work for what they got, not have it all given to them on a damn silver platter, paid for out of his hard earned salary. The anger was coming again and he was kind of glad, because he was way too hyped up about this Marty and his idea of how to approach him.

That is what had him stumped, and he wished he knew more about how to get out and approach someone, specially a kid. He didn’t exactly want to have a whole bunch of people watching but if he was right, and the kid waited for the 8 train, he really didn’t have a choice. Maybe if he just walked by? No, that wouldn’t work to well, there were lots of people who passed by, but how could he stop so the kid would maybe come to him?

Buck scratched his head and once more he was turned away from his work to think about ‘Marty’ and what it might mean. Christ it had been way too long since anyone had touched his body other than himself and he was uneasy about that, wondering if he’d blow it or, always an ‘or’ it seemed. Fuck he’d worry about that once he made the deal, but first, how to make the fucking deal. Christ he wished he could find some answers, maybe hit one of those adult chat rooms but he also knew the company policy, hell he had helped implement it so he was rather fucked on that score.