Chapter 30
Chris sat in his office, still thinking back over the last month and wondering when the bubble would finally burst. Nothing this wonderful could last this long, let alone longer but it seemed that they were somehow being blessed. He wondered, his hands resting under his chin, if maybe some of what Seth had said about his late wife was true. He knew he had felt a sort of presence many times, but had chalked that up to simply a case of nerves, now he rather wondered.
It wasn’t that he was religious either, in fact he was rather apathetic about religion ever since he came to the realization that he preferred men to women and religion, as he understood it, didn’t deal with it to his satisfaction. He also was well aware that neither Seth nor Billy were much on organized religion. In fact, he had only seen Billy turn nasty during the just concluded debate on same sex marriages. To him, Billy had always appeared to be this grown adult in a youth’s body, but once the debate started on same sex marriages and gay rights, he saw a side of Billy that actually terrified him.
He had engaged Billy in a debate about it, quite by accident and the raw emotions that had come forth had startled him tremendously. He had watched the look of concern cross Seth’s face as they had squared off, him explaining that for now, the cost of legalizing such relationships were just too much for society to bear, Billy countering that you can’t put a price on love and security of one’s loved ones. It was an interesting argument that entered the religious aspect as well.
Billy had gotten his angriest as he spoke about how these so called saintly men of God preached against accepting a quarter of the population simply because they interpreted someone’s words written thousands of years ago. He was adamant that if God really did exist, he couldn’t exclude people simply because they choose one path that was different than his planned path. Did he condemn Adam and Eve? No, he argued, he made them leave the Garden of Eden but he didn’t consign them to hell, so why should all these priests and fathers and rabbi’s supersede God’s own desire?
The argument had gotten intense when Billy started to attack how people always were mouthing that they were for something, but when it came to voting for it, they shied away, citing economic reasons. He complained that here he was, living in a state that was supposed to be the most liberal of all 50 states and yet they couldn’t give 25% of their population or more the same equal rights as they could the rest, all because some religious moron said it was wrong and against God. As far as he was concerned if God was against gays, then he couldn’t be any God worth knowing or believing in.
“Come on Billy, you really don’t buy that…”
“Yeah I do Chris, maybe at one time he did exist, but not today, not anymore and I am sorry, but I just cant believe in God anymore.”
“Why? Because the state doesn’t see your point of view on same sex marriages/”
“No… no because he let some fucking asshole get behind a wheel when he was drunk and took my mother’s life before she could raise me… how’s that for starter’s? or maybe how I can’t go walking down the hallways with my lover because he might get thrown off the team at best, beaten up and ridiculed more likely. Then there is that I have to sneak around in my home with my lover, have my father do the same not because we are bad people, but so we don’t scare two little kids at best, at worst so they don’t go spreading it out that they go to a house full of fags… how’s that for a few reasons not to believe in the great Almighty?”
“Son… I think you are getting a bit…”
“Look Dad, I don’t mean any disrespect, hell I love you and maybe Chris won’t believe me right now, but I have come to love him too, but you didn’t raise me to be a wimp either, this hiding, this pretence pisses the hell out of me, and for what? Because some holier than thou Joe’s say what Mike and I do is evil, is against God? I say that if God is against love and caring and friendship then he shouldn’t be God, that he can’t be God because to me, a creator is someone who creates, not destroys, and this fucking goddamn state is nothing but a bunch of spoiled hypocrites.”
“Billy I am sorry, really it was the last thing I ever wanted to do, to make you and Mike uncomfortable here, I love your Father and he has given me a chance to be a Father to my own son again, I guess I should have thought this out more before bringing Keith here, but Billy, you can’t blame God for that, just as you can’t blame him for the death of your Mother, it wasn’t his fault”
“No? Look Chris I am not angry at you and it is kind of neat having Keith and Tommy around, sure sometimes it’s a bit difficult, but it isn’t that, its that we even have to hide, like we are bad, that is what gets me and yeah I can blame God.
He’s supposed to be the all-powerful one, the creator of all this, why does he let these things happen then? The priests say he’s the father of us all, well I know that even when my Father wasn’t being much of one, he still wouldn’t let anyone harm us, he would kill them first before letting them hurt us, so if God is our Father, why doesn’t he care the same?”
“Billy…”
“No Seth, let him speak.”
“Chris, really…”
“No Seth, I started this, and Billy has a right to hear me out, besides maybe I need to hear this myself, maybe I need to vent as well, so please Seth, okay?”
“Okay Chris”
“Chris, I really am not angry at you, and I am sorry for what I said about sneaking around the house, I really didn’t mean it the way it came out, honest”
“I know that Billy, and in a way I can kind of understand it, I mean look at how your father and I hid our relationship from you, for maybe similar reasons, but life is complicated, it isn’t black and white”
“I know that, but if I was to buy into all that holy stuff, then why can’t God make it right? He’s supposed to be the most powerful, why can’t he simply right what he did wrong in the first place?”
“Well because he is a father, and there is more to being a father than holding your kids hand and wiping the tears and making the pain go away, sometimes you have to let your kid go, let him experience it for himself so he won’t do it again, sometimes you just have to let go”
“I don’t buy that Chris, I mean if we are all God’s children, why does he let the bad one’s get away with the shit they do? I know when either I or Taylor fucked up Dad would nail our hides, so come on, where is God?”
“Well first of all, he is here now, with all of us, look Billy I am not a religious person, shit the last time I was in church was just after Keith was born, before that when I got married, but I believe in God, maybe not the one the priests or rabbi’s talk about, but in maybe the God that there is.
I know he gave us all a great gift, he gave us free will, the ability to make choices for ourselves, and as a father, it was what we give you too, we try to guide you through it, but we can’t be there all the time. You know that as well as anybody Billy.
All we can hope for is that you learned well, that if and when you make a mistake that we can be there to help you up, but we can’t prevent you from screwing up, because we aren’t perfect either, we can’t sit back and say this and that, I mean come on, how would you react if your dad said, No Billy you are too young to have a steady relationship, would you have listened or would you have found a way to still see Mike?”
“I would have found a way, but that still doesn’t answer why God can’t intervene”
“Sure it does, because he gave us free will, for him to intervene now would mean he didn’t trust his children, just as we have to have faith in his presence, and trust in his love, so must he have faith in us to do what is right, trust in us to do the proper thing. We don’t always do it, hell we come far short of that mark and yet despite all that he still loves us, isn’t that worth some consideration Billy?”
“No, how can I trust in his love, when he let my Mother get taken from me? How can I know he exists and loves me when he makes me sneak around with the one person that makes me whole, makes me feel complete instead of being able to shout it to the world? No, Chris, God doesn’t exist really, least not for me”
“Billy that isn’t true”
“Yes it is Mike”
“No, and you know better too, you know damn well that your mother has never left your side, not for a single second, and who gives a fuck if we can’t hold hands down the hallway, least we have each other to come home to, that’s a damn site more meaningful than being able to kiss outside of homeroom isn’t it?”
“Yeah sure, but we should be able to if we wanted, and you know my mother isn’t here, so don’t you…”
“Oh Christ Bradford at times I could strangle that precious neck, yeah sure you mother’s physically gone, but she never left you, not for a second and you know that, we both know that and I think even your dad would agree”
“Uh, Mike really maybe…”
“No Dad, sorry, but Billy knows better…”
“Mike come on, you know what I meant…”
“Yeah I do and I disagree with you, I am not sure if I agree with all that Chris said, but some of it, look, you know that through all this, you always had that support, that special feeling… right?”
“Yeah”
“It hasn’t left has it?”
“No”
“So, tell me, what’s it telling you now?”
“Mike…”
“Go on, close your eyes, look inside and tell me Billy, tell me that she left you, tell me that you have ever been alone… go on tell me”
Billy leaned back in the couch, and you could see the concentration on his face as he listened to Mike. Funny, only seconds earlier he had been strident and resolute, yet one word from Mike and he was all calm and collected. You could see the lines around the forehead ease, the breathing no longer rapid with excitement, and if you were to take his pulse, you most likely would have found it normal.
He shivered a little as he followed Mike’s words, and you could see the squared shoulders sag a little now, the trembling in his hands seemed to ease just as Mike’s fingers reached out and gently touched Billy’s own finger tips. An absolute calm came over the young man as he opened his eyes and stared into Mike’s green eyes. A small smile curled around his lips and you could see the love flowing between them. Chris was astonished at it all and even Seth was speechless as they simply watched a hyper teenager suddenly grow calm and cool in a matter of seconds.
“Okay Mike, you are right I guess, but …”
“Always with the but, look Billy, you can’t blame God for what happened, he didn’t make the guy want to drink more than he should, I mean why aren’t you mad at the bar tender who served him so much, or why aren’t you mad at the company who made the booze he was drinking?”
“Well that would be silly”
“Why? If they hadn’t made the booze, he couldn’t have gotten drunk, could he?”
“No, but then he’d have drunk something else”
“Okay, then the bar tender”
“Well how was he to know the guy was going to go out and kill my mother?”
“Oh, but God was supposed to it all?”
“Well… shit Mike, that isn’t fair”
“No, truth rarely is fair, but you can’t keep blaming God for what some asshole did, Chris is right Billy, he made that choice and while it saddened God and hurt you and your family, it wasn’t anything any father could do”
“I suppose… when did you get to be so much of a God freak?”
“Me? Oh, I don’t know, guess it was around last September”
“Huh?”
“Billy, every morning when I wake up and you are there, I thank God for letting me be with you, every night when my eyes finally close and I see your face or your body next to mine, I thank him again, for giving me the greatest gift ever, that’s I guess why I believe in him, I have it all”
“Damn you Mike Sheppard”
“Huh uh, most likely, so?”
“Yeah, so… uh Chris, Dad, love the conversation but, well if you don’t mind, I think Mike and I are going to head upstairs to discuss this in private”
Seth only smiled as his son rose up from the couch and with his hand firmly in Mike’s; they headed up to the bedroom. You could see his head resting on Mike’s shoulder, but you could also tell that they were talking, discussing something and judging by the quickening steps, you had to know it wasn’t the weather that had their attention.
“Seth… I am sorry about all that…”
“you are sorry? Shit, I am sorry for letting you wade in on that one, I guess I should have warned you about his passions, but damn it, he’s good isn’t he?”
“Oh yeah, I can see another damn lawyer in the making”
“Think so? Hmm, no I think maybe for a bit he will be, but somehow I see him in politics, he is so determined to make a difference.”
“Good feeling isn’t it?”
“Yeah it is, uh look Chris, about some of what he said…”
“I know, we have to find a way to give him and Mike more time alone at home, I just didn’t realize how much stress it puts on them, damn this world, he is right about that, it isn’t right that they have to sneak around, nor us for that matter… shit maybe I should just tell Keith the truth.”
“well that would be one way to go from the frying pan into the fire”
“What’s that supposed to mean Seth?”
“Shit Chris, if you tell him you expose all of us as well, to a 13 year old, and that’s just for starter’s.”
“Not necessarily, I could tell him I am, which is why I left his mother, I mean it isn’t exactly a lie”
“And when he finds out the truth later on?”
“I’ll deal with that then”
“Yeah, and it’ll take you ten times longer to get back what you have now, if ever, no Chris coming out simply because Billy and Mike are inconvenienced a little is not a good reason, and you have to consider the ramifications, like Billy said it sucks.”
“So what do we do then? I mean I can’t impose much longer…”
“you aren’t imposing, and I don’t know, I guess we take it as it comes along, what about your ex wife, how would she take the news?”
“Oh man, I don’t even want to think about that one, fuck I’d be inside of a court room in minutes I would guess”
“How do you think Keith would handle it?”
“Well I would of thought badly, but I don’t know, some of those questions he asked at dinner earlier, shit I really don’t know my own son Seth, and that… fuck it hurts”
Seth reached over and hugged Chris then, and sat down on the arm of the big chair. They stayed that way, each lost in their own thoughts as the sounds of a house settled in around them.
Chris could feel the strength in Seth’s touch and nearness. It made him feel so safe, and yet he knew that safety was a tenuous hold at best. There were so many pitfalls ahead of him and Seth, that maybe the smart thing would be to end it all now, to break it off before he wound up hurting Seth and his family, not to mention his own family.
He thought of Barbara and how she would handle finding out that her ex husband was living with another man in a sexual relationship. Tolerance was not her forte at best, and homosexuality was something she found abhorrent. Christ, he recalled how she had been so angry at Reagan for when he announced the increased spending on AIDS research. She had ripped up her republican membership card and swore she would never vote for him again, and so far as he knew, she hadn’t. God, what would she do if she found out? He could say goodbye to ever seeing Keith no matter how good Seth was in court.
A shiver of fear swept through his body as he contemplated the future, and he looked upwards, towards the heavens. He wondered, is this how God feels each time one of his children is faced with these thoughts? Being a father had many rewards, but it was certainly filled with a lot of angst as well. So many tough decisions to make, and anyone could lead to disaster if he chose wrong.
Seth’s hand was resting on Chris’s shoulder and he could sense the doubts running through his lover’s mind. He knew the anxiety that raising a child could bring, but he knew in his heart that Chris would do okay. He was a good man, and he did love his child, unlike some assholes who only paid lip service to it, such as Jeremy’s father. Damn, that still rankled and being held in check wasn’t helping him much either.
His mind wandered as he waited for the inner struggle in Chris to subside, letting him sort it out in his own head, and he thought back to an argument he and his wife had when Billy had been ready to enter grade school. God he was so proud of Billy, the way he had held his own with Chris tonight was something to watch. He was articulate, succinct and he had that killer instinct. He needed some practise but he had the gift, he could sway crowds of that Seth was sure.
He was glad that he had listened to his wife, but back then he wasn’t so sure. He was the proud peacock, the parent who wanted to give his children the best and so he had decided to send Billy off to a fancy private school instead of the local one. All the arrangements had been made, all he needed now was for his wife to sign on and Billy would start the year off in grand style, least which was how he thought of it. He was in for a surprise as a round of unbelievable stubbornness met his announcement.
Chrissy had refused to accept any of it, she had been adamant that Billly and Taylor would complete their education in the public system. He had argued that a private school would give the boys an advantage, but she had countered that in Taylor’s case, he would lose his friends, and that her Billy would benefit better from public school than some stuffed shirt private school. When he pressed, she simply said that Billy was destined to change things, and to do that he had to know what to change, and he couldn’t get that in a private school.
Somehow, she had known then, had sensed that Billy would enter public life and not just be content to follow in the family tradition of the legal system. Oh she saw him as a lawyer, but that was simply a stepping stone as she called it. Funny, he once had envisioned himself reaching out for the golden ring that a political life offered but all that had dissipated with her death. Watching Billy tonight he could see what she had seen so many years earlier. Their son was destined to make changes, and she was right, he needed to know the things that needed to be changed. Mike was right too, she had never left. He squeezed Chris’ shoulder and looked down at him, and just as his son had done earlier, he did now, leading his lover up from the chair and guiding him to the bedroom.
The sound of his office intercom broke into his reverie as he answered the call and it was some time before he had free time to once again mull over the last few day of spring break. God, the sex that evening had been awesome, it had started off so tender, so gentle and wound up like being ravaged by a wild tiger of passion. In between groans of ecstasy he could hear similar moans and groans coming from Billy’s room too and he knew that whatever else you could say, those two knew how to express their passion.
A deep smile came to his face as the image of the golf course came to his mind. It was the next morning after their night of passion and the great debate between himself and Billy. They had an early tee off with Eric and Rick which weren’t exactly their favourite partners for golf, but it made for a foursome and besides, they could usually beat them without too much trouble. They would need that advantage, as Chris was finding it a bit hard to walk in the morning thanks largely to Seth’s rather pointed expressions of love during the night. God the man could be such an animal, he thought, and as he did, he could feel his body reacting once more to the vision of Seth hovering over him, his eyes glistening with pure desire, his mouth curled at either end and the huge piece of man meat sticking into his soft belly. Damn it, when would he stop getting so aroused in just thinking of the man? It was like he was cursed, to walk forever with a rising hard on whenever the name Seth was thought up.
The golf game was definitely not going to be a roaring success from the outset. Good old Rick was still pushing to get Eric on board in supporting his bid for county DA and the craw fishing was a little too much for both him and Seth that morning. The second tee was irritating with them both, but especially with Eric and his constant harping on the principles of the Republican Party. Seth finally was losing it as Eric harped on the poor Republican congressman from in the city that had declared himself gay.
Eric was preaching to the wrong people and didn’t have the sense to shut up and Chris could see open warfare ahead. He tried to guide them off the subject, even to the point of asking Rick if he had any idea of who would help in his campaign for County DA. It didn’t work.
“What is it with you and Gays Eric?”
“Huh? What do you mean Seth?”
“Shit, all you have done is bitch about the poor guy who is being honest about being homosexual, what is the big deal? He’s done a good job for his district far as I can tell, so what’s the beef?”
“Damn it Seth, he’s queer, isn’t that enough? I mean don’t get me wrong, queers are fine, as long as they stay in the Democratic Party where they belong”
“What is that supposed to mean? Since when is our party one of exclusion? Hell isn’t Governor Bush calling us the party of inclusion not exclusion now a days, or am I reading his speeches wrong?”
“Oh come on Seth, you know what he means as well as I do, he wants all American’s who believe as we do to join us, queers and that, they aren’t part of this party”
“Why not? I don’t recall any platform that says being gay is illegal or such?”
“Maybe not legal, but it is immoral, and if we don’t stand up for our god fearing principles, who will? Geez, I would have thought a man like you would understand this better Seth.”
“What is that supposed to mean Eric? A man like me?”
“Well I don’t see you wanting to be soft on criminals, why would you want to be soft on those who are perverting our society?”
“What? How the hell do you equate wanting to convict criminals with allowing a person the choice of sexual partners? And just for the record, how the fuck does a man having sex with another man pervert our society?”
“Shit man, you legitimize them by giving them same rights under the law as regular people and then you’ll have them teaching their perverted ways in our schools, come on Seth, you of all people should know how these things spread.”
“No Eric, I of all people know how wrong it is to judge someone by something as unimportant as who they choose to sleep with, if I did, I doubt if many of our current crop of politicians could pass the test”
“I know its not a popular stand Seth, but the bible says that man should not lie with man, and maybe the Democrats are willing to embrace those sinners, but the Republican Party has to stay faithful to its heritage, its obligation as the Grand Old Party that it is.”
“You know what Eric, it is people like you who go around the world that make the rest of the world look at us like we are all nuts. The bible says that? Well my friend, the bible says a lot of things, are we to take it all literally?”
“Certainly, it is the word of God”
“Oh? Well if I remember my scriptures, isn’t there a part that says it is a persons duty to stone to death any other person found committing adultery?”
“Well, yes it does but…”
“Yes, and last time I checked no one had stoned Bill Clinton, had they?”
“Well …no, but still”
“But still nothing Eric, you know, this kind of talk makes me sick to my gut, because I believe in the real Republican Party which certainly isn’t the one you tout.”
“Now just a second there Seth…”
“NO… look Eric, you look at the Democrats as the party for those who don’t meet your criteria of what American’s should be, but that isn’t right. Where were the Democrats when blacks were being used as slaves? It was the Republican Party under Honest Abe that declared all men meant all men, no matter their colour were free, it was the Republican Party that risked a civil war so that all of its citizens could be free, not the Democratic Party. It was a Republican President, Eisenhower who sent in federal troops to help in de segregating schools in the south, not the Democratic Party, so don’t you besmirch the name of this grand party by saying we have no room for gays or other people who are different than the majority. Don’t you dare, least not with me in ear shot.”
“Seth come on now, we have known each other for decades, you know I am not a bigot, and I resent you implying I am one”
“Really? Well hold on Eric, I am not implying it, I am saying it, you are a bigot if you believe that gays shouldn’t hold elected office for this party or be a part of this party, that is prejudice, pure and simple”
“No, it is practical Seth, look at all the trouble they are causing in the military right now, how is that helping this country?”
“Trouble? What trouble?”
“Why, wanting to be open about their gayness or whatever the hell they call it, it hurts the cohesiveness of the unit, it prevents our forces from being truly effective, it disrupts the camaraderie of the unit.”
“Oh really? Well you know its funny you say that, cause that is the exact same argument used back in the 50’s when Harry Truman integrated the armed forces and now look at them, go on Eric, look at them. Hell all you guys are falling over backwards to get Colin Powell’s endorsement for candidates, and he’s a Republican, so don’t give me any of that disruption crap.”
“That was different, I mean how do you expect sailors to go to war when their bunk mate is an ass pounder?”
“The same way he went to war when his bunkmate was a different colour than him, damn it Eric, we fought a world war to get rid of this type of racism, didn’t that teach you anything?”
“Oh and next you are going to tell me that affirmative action is a rip roaring success”
“No I am not, because it was doomed to fail and not because the idea is wrong, but its implementation is flawed. How the hell do we expect to just pick up kids who for decades have been treated as second-class citizens at best and throw them into an elite system and then expect them to succeed?
No it wasn’t that they are stupid either, but you need to give them the tools first, the teachers to teach them, the text books to learn from first, and the support that every white kid had and has even today, then they can compete fairly and with a chance to succeed, not as a handout but as an achievement.”
“Here we go, blame the system or the government instead of the real fault, look Seth, whatever you may think, integration was wrong, and letting gays into politics or giving them the same rights as the rest is just as wrong”
“Oh shit, that is such horseshit Eric, it makes me wanna puke.”
“So you would be fine having a gay teacher taking your son on a field trip to the mountains?”
“Sure I would, if he was qualified for the job, why not?”
“Well, I hope you never have to find out why not, that is why”
“Oh for Christ sakes man, you think every gay man is out to seduce every little boy he sees? Get real Eric, you know they say that 20 to 25% of the population is gay, and it isn’t a choice Eric, it is simply how they are, they didn’t just wake up one day and say, hey I think I’d like to have sex with someone of the same sex as me, it goes deeper than that and once you accept that maybe then you’ll stop being such a first class jerk.
Eric, if this party ever wants to seriously hold onto the Congress, Senate and put a man in the White House, then it better start getting back to its roots, back to being the party of Lincoln and not the party of Buchanan.”
“Oh sure, now you would have this country embroiled in a civil war?”
“If that is what it took to give everyone who lived here the same rights, the same benefits under the law, you are damn right I would.”
“Funny, I never really thought of you as being such a liberal Seth”
“well Eric, I never really thought of you as such a big bigot, guess we were both wrong … come on Chris, I think we’ll just play doubles for now… Rick I’ll talk to you later, goodbye Eric”
“Have it your way Seth, for now”
“hehe, Eric is that a threat?”
“Now Seth…”
“Tell me Eric, you gotten your invitation yet for the dinner for the Governor when he swings through here next month?”
“Huh? No, course not, its only for upper echelons of the party, why?”
“Oh, just wondering, I am taking my boys… see you later Eric
…and Rick, maybe you are talking to the wrong people for that endorsement, why don’t you give me a call at the office on Monday, okay?”
With Eric’s face hanging down to the ground, Seth jumped into the golf cart and gassed it forward, almost forcing Chris to fall back into the clubs stowed in back. He tore down the path, heading towards the next tee and Chris could see the fumes still smoking from Seth’s face. His jaw as squared, aligned perfectly with his broad massive shoulders that filled the cart. God, he was a sight when riled and the sparks were still flying and leaping around as the cart tore off and then headed towards the large outcrop of trees that divided the two holes from each other.
The cart bounced along the gravel pathway and the little electric motor whined as Seth simply kept his foot to the floor. The anger was very evident and Chris didn’t say a word as the cart headed towards the tee off area. He was hoping they would slow down but he braced himself for a quick stop none the less and was surprised when Seth turned the wheel and headed the cart off into the grove of trees.
“Uh, the tee is the other way Seth”
“I know, I need to cool down”
“Well uh you not planning to drive this into the lake behind the trees are you, this isn’t a drip dry outfit”
“Funny, no, here, I just don’t want to be seen”
Seth stopped the cart amongst the trees. They were completely covered by the lush outcropping of foliage and Seth glanced every way around, making sure that he couldn’t look out and that no one could look in. Then he reached across with one massive hand and gripped Chris’ shoulder and stared into his face.
Chris winced with the pain of Seth’s grip but he didn’t show it, too much. He could see that Seth was full of mixed emotions and that everything that had happened in the last few days had worn his nerves thin. He wanted to do something and he reached out with his pain-racked arm, laying it softly on the upper thigh of Seth’s leg.
The touch was like a bolt of lightning to him. He could feel his body becoming charged with a wild excitement coming from Seth and he looked up into his eyes and saw that devilish twinkle taking hold. His heart started to palpitate and he could feel tiny beads of sweat forming on the palms of his hand, as Seth’s face grew larger as it came closer to his.
His eyes bulged open wide as he saw Seth’s eyelids flutter and shut, moments before his thick red lips pressed up against his own pink ones. Unbelievable as it was, Seth kissed him hard, right there and he could feel the desire welling up inside of him as Seth’s tongue pressed hard against his teeth, forcing his mouth open.
There was a moment of hesitation, a moment when he wanted to break off the contact, but the second his tongue felt the warm breath of Seth breathing onto it and the wetness of Seth’s own tongue starting to curl around his teeth, all was lost. Any thought of propriety was lost the second his jaw unhinged and he drank deeply of the man’s essence that had captured his heart. He was lost to the moment as his own wild passions broke loose from the restraints of his mind and he found his hands groping hard and fast at Seth’s groin. His fingers pushing up against the thin fabric of the pants, prodding to make sure that the hidden treasure was there and when he found the hard throbbing assurance he needed, he sighed deeply.
As Chris’ hand touched his groin, the sound of his contentment rang loudly within Seth’s ears and he groaned his own answer as his tongue delved deep into Chris’ mouth. He could taste the warm sweet breath coming up from the throat, and the salty saliva as it formed all around his wiggling tongue. His hands were desperately pulling and pushing at the thin cotton material of Chris’ shirt, willing the material to be gone.
The two strong bodies struggled with the plastic seat of the golf cart, pushing and bending it in order to fit their two frames together, trying to lay together so that they could touch and fondle each other. Chris had his hands groping and pushing down at Seth’s groin. The thin pants stretched way out of shape by the pulsing organ that had been woken by the ardent desire burning within Seth and transmitted by the firm touch of Chris’ own passion through his fingers. Seth’s hands were running up the washboard stomach now, tossing the shirt aside like so much confetti as it needed to feel the muscles flexing underneath the hot sizzling flesh of Chris’ body.
The moans grew in intensity as they became wedged between the two seats, both of them still struggling for position. Chris could feel his whole body starting to shake as the idea of being taken, here and now, amongst this strong bastion of manhood grew. The thrill and excitement was intense for him, beyond description as his mind kept warning him, telling him of the risks they were running of discovery and yet all it seemed to do was increase his desire, increase his need for Seth.
The heat from Chris’ body was making him sweat and driving him insane with desire. He couldn’t help himself, he needed to have Chris now, not later, not elsewhere and while his mind was warning him of the dangers, his heart was only racing faster. The adrenalin rush was growing as his hands found the hard erect nipples on Chris’ chest and he squeezed them tightly between his fingers, while he drove his tongue deeper into Chris’ mouth. The pleasure it brought Chris was instantly known to him, he could feel Chris’ hard penis poking up at his thigh.
Feeling like a teenager, he started to rub his thigh hard up against Chris’ groin, feeling the hard throbbing cock sway to his touch, feeling it shake to his press and he could feel his own throbbing organ as he tried to shift positions. His mouth locked with Chris, still tasting the wonders of Chris’ warmth. His hands were now slowly moving down the firm sweating body, towards that pulsing organ and he could feel Chris’ hands moving up his own flat stomach. His belly quivered as the hands rubbed him and pushed at his flesh, making his whole body shake.
Slowly Chris managed to bring one hand upwards and he started to reach in and under Seth’s shirt. The touch of the hot flesh made him groan and he arched his body towards Seth even more as he continued to rub and massage that masculine body. The sound of Seth’s groans was making him crazy with desire and he could hear his own voice moaning in unison and all the time he could taste his man. The hot tongue that wrapped around his mouth, pushed at his teeth one second, then his cheeks the next or down the sides of his throat was making him gasp for air but he refused to let it go, refused to let it leave the inner sanctum of his body.
His lips were turning white from the force of his pressure against Chris’ mouth and his whole body started to shake. First it was just a slight tremor then it rose and soon his whole body was quivering as he gasped for air, as his desire for Chris only intensified to the point where he ached all over. Seth pushed upwards with his trembling body, eager to taste all of Chris when he felt himself jerk hard and roll slightly to one side, a loud shout from Chris made him open his eyes and he realized that his foot had pressed the gas pedal of the cart and they were bounding through the lush greenery towards the small lake.
He tried to pull his foot back, but his pant legs had gotten stuck around the pedal somehow, and he couldn’t budge it as they came through the last of the undergrowth to stare at the shimmering calm blue water of the pond. With unbelievable calm, Seth stopped his struggling as the cart left the ground and ploughed straight into the cold water.
Chris shouted in surprise as the water loomed ahead of him and he couldn’t move, as Seth was still basically on top of him and together, they were still wedged between the two seats. The splash and chill of icy cold water against his body shocked him and he started to splutter and splash around as the cart settled into the pond.
Harsh laughter rang out all around him and he sat there, the water up to his chin as was in shock. He looked around and saw Seth taking his shirt off and tossing it into the pouch of his golf bag.
“Are you nuts?”
“Yep, come on, get that shirt off and lets finish the swim”
“What swim? Geez man, what are we… fuck here comes Eric and Rick”
“Hey Guys, come on in, the water is fine…haha”
“You two okay? What the hell happened?”
“Happened? Well let’s see, I drove into the pond”
“We can see that Seth, why the hell…”
“Cause Mr. Stock Broker here is an uptight weenie and said I wouldn’t dare drive in and go for a swim… guess I showed him, right Mr Stock Broker?”
“Yeah right, you lunatic lawyer”
“Damn straight, come on, anyone else wanna cool off in the pond?”
“Bradford you are as crazy as a loon”
“Really? Well gee Eric, last time I checked a loon was rather smart and very graceful, so thank you for the compliment, I am sure it had to hurt to give me one, haha”
“Well… come on Rick”
“Yes Rick do go with Eric, what’s the matter Eric, can’t stand to see a man having fun with friends?”
“You are acting like a teenager Seth, it isn’t becoming in a place like this”
“This will shock you Eric, but you know what, life isn’t about what tie to wear to what function, it is about loving your family, enjoying what God has given us, and making the most of the opportunities we have, crazy? No, just getting smarter and learning that life is worth enjoying… so good day to you Sir and come on Chris, race you to the other end”
Chris had to laugh, even now a month or so later at that. Poor Eric, his face looked like he had just been bitch slapped and even now, he had to admit it sure did feel good. The guy was a prude and in one insane act of humanity, Seth had put him in his place. God, no wonder he loved the man so much, who else could one second be groping for your dick and the next be splashing around in a lake in front of a group of respected Republicans. Man, if they only knew what they were really doing before taking their cart for a wash and spin.
Still laughing, he recalled how they had come to pick up the cart and tow it back to the main clubhouse. He and Seth had sat in the still dripping cart, Seth acting like some royalty riding through town on an official visit. It was priceless as he milked it for everything it was worth. There they were, their shirts in their golf bags, water glistening off the fancy priced leather bags, their pants clearly drenched and their perfect hair matted and flowing every which way possible as the cart led them to the clubhouse.
The manager wasn’t too pleased as they rode up, especially when Seth started in on him, demanding to know who was going to pay for the cleaning of his suit and clubs. The poor guy was all set to give Seth a cold lecture found himself gasping for air, trying to defend something he had nothing to do with. It was priceless and was just one more reason why he felt so much love when around Seth. The way he could tease someone but at the end of it all, he patted the manager on the back, telling him to just send the bill to his office, no questions, and no hard feelings.
Most normal people who have headed straight for the locker rooms to change into dry clothes, but no not Seth. Instead he guided Chris straight to the bar where he encountered several other patrons who all seemed to know about their recent swimming feat.
“Hey Bradford, when did it start raining outside?”
“Oh funny Henry, but you are just the man I was looking for”
“Yeah, how is that Seth?”
“You still head of the members board of directors aren’t you?”
“Yep”
“Well, I think we need to call a special meeting of the board”
“What for?”
“Well I think that if members are going to have to wash their own carts, we should get a discount on our green fees or at least put in a proper cart washing spot, that pond by the third tee is too cold to do a good job”
The bar was in stitches as Seth regaled them of his exploits in taming the wild runaway golf cart. He told a story of how, life flashing before his eyes he leapt forward to wrestle with the octopus like arms of the gear shift in a vain attempt to stop the cart’s forward march towards populated areas, and only by a miracle was he able to turn it around to let it harmlessly expire in the cold waters off the third tee.
Thinking back to that time, he could see how everyone, absolutely everyone was glued to their chairs, listening to Seth’s baritone voice as it regaled them with one fish story after another. The laughter was genuine, and he never fully realized just how personable Seth was. He always had thought of him as the dour sage lawyer, but lately he was seeing a very different side of the man. He liked what he was seeing, but again that nagging doubt entered his mind, of just how long would it last before trouble came knocking.
As he continued his reflections, he smiled again as he thought about how they had finally arrived home, to find a slender young blond standing by the door, his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. Seth looked at him and Chris was sure that something terrible had happened when out of no where Mike appeared with Keith and Tommy. They had water pistols and proceeded to soak the two men standing in their just recently changed clothes and the fight was on.
Billy chased Seth along with Tommy as he ran out towards the pool and Keith and Mike had Chris cornered by the front door, mercilessly soaking him until they heard Billy screaming for help. Mike immediately ran and that gave Chris time to escape the wild sprays from the soaker 9000 something or other that Tommy was using on him. His clothes were totally soaked as he raced around back to find Seth standing by the pool, the garden hose in his hand and a steady spray heading towards a ducking Billy.
It was like an old fashioned water fight and Chris quickly joined in, chasing Tommy out from behind a chaise lounge so Seth could soak him, but he paid as Keith nailed him with a water balloon that they had stored up. These kids were prepared and the battle raged for a good half hour until everyone lay panting and exhausted.
Chris had tossed Mike into the pool, but not without being dragged in himself, so that was a draw. Tommy had been tossed in effortlessly by Seth but Billy had managed to get away and blindsided Seth with Keith’s help.
It was amazing how they had played; all of them together like a real family. Billy lay on Mike’s heaving chest, Mike’s hand resting next to Billy’s and you could see, if you watched real close’ the occasional twitch or massage of a finger against the arm. Just a signal, a small message of mike saying to Billy that he was there. He had smiled at that, and then noticed how Tommy was practically as close to Keith as Billy was to Mike. Strange, he never noticed that before, how those two gravitated towards each other, and as he continued to ponder that he realized that sitting next to him was Seth.
The day had been full of surprises and he should have known that it would not end there. Dinner had been nothing but barbs exchanged between the two older boys and mostly Seth, but Chris found himself on the receiving end of some of the comments as well. Mainly it centred around how there should be mandatory driver’s test for aged people, specially those over 35, seeing as how they were a menace to the travelling public.
Keith and Tommy spent the evening between laughing, choking on their food or just simply smiling. The water fight had tired them out and as they watched television, both boys soon fell asleep on the laps of the two golf cart maniacs, as Billy called them. Chris found himself enjoying this part of the night the best, when he would hitch Keith up in his arms and carry him up to the bedroom. It felt so right, so perfect and he wished that he have this job every night.
Funny too how Seth seemed to enjoy it as well, as he usually wound up carrying Tommy up to the bedroom. He remembered looking at him and he was sure he saw tears in his eyes, as if he was recalling all the times he did this with his wife for Billy and Taylor. God, fatherhood was a bitch at times, but damn the rewards more than made up for the tough times. In his heart he knew he wanted to be a full time parent, but he also knew that Billy was right, that society would never willingly allow him, a gay adult male, to care for his son so he had to keep the pretence, had to keep the secret and while he could talk to Seth about it, it wasn’t the same.
He frowned a little, thinking of how lonely a life it was being gay, even if you were lucky enough to find someone special like he had. It made for a big difference; he had someone he could share with, but still not the same as a straight couple. He couldn’t go to a best friend and talk about his fears or such because he would be giving a hold over his life to some stranger. Sure he could talk to Seth, but how did you talk to your lover about your concerns for your performance in bed, or your fears of him leaving you for the cute guy in accounting or stuff like that? It wasn’t fair, and yet it was the life he had, and it did have its rewards.
Shaking off the dark clouds, Chris continued his jaunt down memory lane as the afternoon wore on. He went back to how they stood there, side by side, hand in hand, watching as the two young boys curled up into tiny little balls of pink skin and nestled together. He watched how Seth carefully covered the boys with the sheets and blankets, watching them as they slept on, oblivious to the immense joy their mere presence was giving the two older men.
They had walked silently back to their own bedroom, still holding hands like any married couple and it felt so good. He could see the moisture in Seth’s eyes and he could feel his own tears as they entered the massive bedroom, to stare at the full sized bed, the covers turned down and two condom packages resting on each pillow, more laying on the night table beside each side.
Chris was smiling and he could feel himself warm all over as he recalled their love making that night. It wasn’t rushed or urgent, yet in its own way it was more intense than any other time. Each touch of Seth’s hand or leg had made him tremble and shake. Each caress had brought him new joy as they embraced and kissed lightly and deeply of each other. There wasn’t any one person in charge; it was as if their two bodies were being guided by one single heart.
Nothing was left untouched; nothing was ignored as they made slow deliberate love to each other. No rush, no panic as their two bodies joined together to become one single mound of flesh, one single entity designed to do nothing but love. It was the single most intense feeling Chris had ever experienced. The way he could hear Seth’s blood flowing in the veins, the way he could feel each tremor that raced through Seth’s firm body. Nothing escaped his own senses and he could even feel Seth feeling Chris’ feelings.
Time had no meaning tonight, as they both explored the other’s body as if for the first time. They each sought new territory, new ways to feel what the other was feeling, and not once did they fail in achieving that sensation. The penetration of Seth into Chris was merely an extension of the earlier penetration of Chris into Seth. It went that way for what seemed eternity but was only a few short hours as when it was all done, the clock only showed a few minutes past midnight.
“Do you ever wonder what it is going to be like for us in 5 or 10 years from now Chris?”
“Lately I have, I wonder if I’ll still be attractive to you, if I can still be stimulating to you, yeah I know, stupid but I worry about that, among other things, you?”
“A lot actually, the same things too but other things too, like where will I be career wise, family wise, and all that, sometimes I wonder how long can we all go on keeping this secret, it’s like, like a terrible weight at times that keeps pressing in…”
“Yeah I noticed that today at the golf course”
“Eric? Shit, he’s a cluster fuck if there ever was one, and yeah he got to me, but its more than that… this dinner for the Governor, there is more to it than you think.”
“Oh? How’s that?”
“Well, if I am right, I think they are sounding me out to run against Boxer in the mid terms, this is a kind of audition meeting, if I pass I figure they’ll make the official offer right after…”
“WOW, that is something, hey Senator Bradford ….well the kids will sure be excited…”
“Yeah, the kids… don’t you see what this really means though Chris?”
“I think so Seth, but Billy and Taylor are pretty strong, they’ll handle it well I think… you won’t have to worry about them”
“No, I know that, and I know that both Mike and Jeremy will stand by my boys too, and me, but what about you Chris? Have you really considered what this is going to mean to you?”
“Well, no I guess not, but look, we can cross that bridge if we have to, I mean there is nothing that says we have to tell anyone about how we live here, and unless we do, who’s to know?”
“Yeah, the Clinton strategy for me? No Chris I don’t think I could do that, I mean, I grant you the idea of not having to face it is appealing, but what kind of leader or representative could I be if I couldn’t be up front about my own lifestyle?”
“Well, I know that I will not leave you, I’ll stand right next to you if you want Seth, you know that.”
“Yes I do, and I know how much that would cost you, and I can’t ask you to do that, Chris your wife, no offence, but she can be a bitch and if this comes out, well, everything you have worked so hard to gain with Keith will go down the crapper, how can I ask you to give that up?”
“I don’t know, you are right she can be a bitch, but then again a chance to hop knob in a Senator’s shadow? She might think twice, specially if you won”
“Maybe, but what about Keith himself? Do you think he could handle it?”
“To be honest, I don’t know Seth, I really don’t know. I mean there are times when I wonder if he doesn’t already know, then again I think no way, maybe its just that I want to believe he knows, or that if he did find out he’d be okay with it, but whatever it is, I know that eventually it is going to come out, and well, better it comes out on our terms, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I suppose, still this is not the way I would want it to come out Chris, not the way, and who am I anyway, to think I could be a Senator…”
“Who are you? You are a man with a deep conviction of what is right and what is wrong, you hate injustice and you have the ability and gift to do something about it, as for being a Senator, well you sure as hell couldn’t do worse than what we got now, and considering the calibre of people we do have in the Senate, I don’t see anyone there who matches up better than you, so yeah I can see you as Senator Bradford.”
“Thanks, you are a flatterer”
“I aim to please, so, uh, how long have you known about this?”
“A few weeks or so I guess”
“How come you haven’t said anything before now?”
“Well, you were so excited about Keith coming to spend the spring break here and all, I kind of didn’t want to put any dampness on the party for you”
“Well, I guess I can see that, so who else have you talked to about this?”
“Who else? Who else can I talk to Chris? I mean that has to be the hardest part of this whole lifestyle, there isn’t any way to build up a close network of friends and advisors, I mean how many gay couples do either of us know?”
“Hmm, I know of one and that’s about it, yeah I couldn’t agree with you more, but what about your folks?”
“Well, I don’t know if they would understand or not, maybe, maybe not again it’s the same question, do you risk it or not? Shit, and these religious nuts think all we want to do is convert people to our lifestyle when really all we want is to be treated like anyone else, to have friends we can trust instead of wondering if we tell someone if they will become an enemy or a potential risk later on, to be honest Chris I don’t know how Billy and Mike handle it”
“Yeah it does have to be tougher for them, but from what I understand they do have gay friends”
“They do? Who?”
“Well, on the internet from what I gather, they have gotten to know a few people that they talk to, discuss stuff with and all that, ask questions, you know, like any other friendship would be except its done with people who could be next door or half way around the world”
“God, that is frightening to think of”
“What is?”
“Well shit, how do they know these guys are who they say they are? I mean they could be 40 or 50 year old perverts getting off on talking to teenagers, and what kind of stuff can they be telling them?”
“I don’t know, but it can’t be that bad considering how well they are doing, I mean come on Seth, have you ever seen Billy happier?”
“True, well I have enough to worry about for now, this one can wait, but that does remind me, come on… get your boxer’s on and put on a bathrobe and meet me down in the kitchen”
“Huh? Are you crazy, its almost 1am…”
“Oh get over it, I told that little blond son of mine that I’d get even and I am not about to let that happen down the road, so get a move on old man, we got us a rematch due”
“Seth, you are nuts, they are sleeping or worse, they are, well you know, we can’t just.”
“Like hell we can’t, if they can ambush us we can sneak attack them, now meet me in the kitchen”
“Yes Mien General”
“Hehe, good, nothing like a willing piece of cannon fodder… you shall be well rewarded after we have won the battle… now hurry up”
After hurriedly getting his boxer shorts on and a bathrobe, he made his way to the big kitchen where he found Seth gleefully setting out his weapons. He smiled and chuckled as he realized exactly what Seth had in mind for Billy and Mike. Damn it, when did he manage to get all this stuff? Shit, when he went for the paper, what a sneak he was, and there was no doubt in his mind that Seth would make a good politician, he was definitely aces in the sneaky department.
As he loaded his bathrobe up and tucked in the spare weapons around his waist, he caught a glimpse of Seth. He saw that wild look in his eyes, the same look he had spotted when they were in the bushes and just before they went for their swim in the pond. The man was driven, of that there was no doubt, but this crazy side was new to him, and yet he felt like he had known all along that staid old lawyer man was really nothing more than a kid in a man’s body.
Giggling and snickering like a pair of college freshmen on a panty raid, they crept up towards the guesthouse by the garage where the two boys were spending the night. Seth had graciously given them permission to spend the night there, so they could have some time to their selves. Thinking back on it, he realized that what Seth was doing was setting them up so he could get even without waking the little one’s. This man had a machiavellian mind and he found himself rather enjoying it.
Creeping up to the doorway, he was sure that they had been making enough noise to wake the dead, yet as Seth slowly opened the door into the main living area, they could hear the stillness of the night and nothing else. Quietly they moved inside, being careful to hold their weapons and not let them clank on each other. Tip toe they went towards the bedroom, the door was ajar and they could see only starlight peeking through the darkness of the room.
Chris found himself holding his breath as they crept into the darkened bedroom, the sounds of two young boys sleeping the only sound they could hear. The smell was something else. It was as if a mega ton bomb of pure testosterone had been let loose in the room and it made him feel rather excited as they approached the bed.
His eyes, adjusted to the darkness, saw the outline of white as they crept closer to the sleeping victims. Seth’s eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he got closer and closer to his son and Mike. They could see a leg sticking out from the bed and Seth signalled for Chris to prepare to assault that protruding limb while he moved upwards to get the best position on the main target area.
Chris was crouched down, his weapon at the ready and his finger feeling rather itchy, anxious actually to press down and start but he waited for his commander’s signal. Seth stood up slowly, keeping his creaking knees from extending fully and he now hovered over the two shapes. He could see Mike’s hand draped over Billy’s back, his head tilted to nestle just under Mike’s armpit. God what a sight it was and he felt a strange lump in his throat as he looked down on the two sleeping angels.
Carefully he positioned his weapon and when he knew it was in jus the right spot, he looked over at Chris and grinned. This was fun, something he had missed for many years, the horseplay and general friendship that a father had with his kids. He moistened his lips and then signalled Chris.
Chris almost missed the signal and he fumbled a little with the nozzle of the can, making a small noise that started to stir Mike. The foot started to shake a little as Chris found his form and suddenly the ice-cold contents came spluttering out covering the foot. A loud cry of disbelief rang out in the darkened room and a dark haired boy shot up. As he did a second spray started and a steady white stream of ice cold whipped cream came flooding out to hit the startled blond face that only seconds earlier was firmly nestled in his lover’s arms.
Mike’s foot was yanked back under the cover’s and the body attached was suddenly sitting upright screaming blue murder as he struggled to figure out what was happening. Seth’s loud booming laughter was ringing in the room as Billy’s screaming voice now joined Mike’s as well. The covers were thrown up and outwards, to ward off the continued attack of whipped cream that never seemed to end.
Chris had to drop his can and bring up a second one, as the first was emptied and he couldn’t believe the mess he was creating. The whole bottom of the bed was soaked in whipped cream and was being further spread by the thrashing blankets and sheets. Billy’s face was pure white, not from fear but from all the whipped cream that Seth continued to pour at it. Mike had jumped out of the bed and he had his pillow warding off Chris’ shots of whipped cream. He was screaming for Billy to follow him and Billy was scrambling to try and climb out of the bed on Mike’s side, away from his father who now held two cans of whipped cream, one in each hand, and he was following his son, climbing onto the bed and spraying up and down, coating his sons’ naked body with the rich cream.
A pillow came flying inwards, knocking the cans out of Seth’s hand and Chris saw Mike yank Billy’s hand and pull him backwards towards the off suite bathroom where the two naked boys retreated to. The words were flying as the door crashed shut and all he could hear was Seth’s loud hysterical laughter. He had pulled it off and he saw Seth sit on the bed, ignoring the puddle of whipped cream that he was now sitting in. Chris joined him and together they howled with laughter, releasing all the tension of the day and erasing all the fears and doubts for now.
As he struggled to regain his composer, he could hear the laughter coming from the bathroom and then finally the door cracked open, and two heads poked out. The sight only made Chris and Seth laugh even louder and harder, as both boys were still coated in whipped cream. It was the perfect revenge, and the second battle of the day, went to the Senior members of the family.
I think we all know that the Republicans are anything but Gay Friendly.
