Cole

A part of kindness consists in loving people

more than they deserve.

– Joseph Joubert

10:17 a.m.

Cole sat at the back of the room, his eyes glued to the two men up at the front, one was Don Sheppard his old little league coach and gym teacher, the other was Ken Sutter the Prosecutor. The town had gone crazy when it had been first announced that Don Sheppard was being charged with child abuse, it had gone ballistic when the local newspaper had reported that the state was upping the charges to rape of a minor. No one really could believe that Don Sheppard could have anything to do with such a thing, after all he had been coaching little league in the town for the last 20 odd years or more. He had also been a teacher for the last 30 years and it was impossible to believe that he was one of those. They all knew Don, he was always at the PTA meetings, always at the various youth meetings, and he was even a regular church goer too, so no way could the Sheriff have been right, no way could Naomi Kessler be believed in her wild accusations that her boys had been victims of sexual abuse by Don. No one, not even the local DA had believed it and yet the two boys, Stephen and Rory swore it up and down.

The whole town had been in a real tizzy, he had listened to their comments for weeks in the restaurant, hearing how the Sheriff had acted only because Naomi threatened him and the town with a lawsuit, that even Ken Sutter had been reluctant to take on the case but had been forced to out of concern for his own political ambitions. They all knew about Ken’s desire to be the state’s next Lt. Governor and many thought he had a chance, given his background and all, still Cole didn’t particularly care for the man but he never said much, keeping his thoughts to himself. After all this wasn’t the big city, this was a small town and everyone still pretty well knew everyone.

Take Naomi Kessler for instance, she was never popular in town because even in High School she was the pretty one, the one the boys all flocked too even their darling of the school, Mark Kessler. They all said he had it all, that he would be the one to put their town on the map when he hit the big time but Naomi had ruined that by getting herself pregnant. Everyone knew it was her fault, after all Mark had ‘star quality’ and he was as down home as apple pie was. The town never forgave her for forcing Mark to marry her, for ruining his opportunity to go to college, to be someone and when they divorced just after young Rory had been borne, no one was all that surprised. They were a bit saddened that Mark had packed up and left town, they had hoped it would be Naomi but she stayed, working now down at the night club just off the interstate.

Cole heard it all at the small café he worked, where he cooked and even served the food for the most part, keeping to himself. He knew the local gossip better than some of the old prudes that kept coming by but he never talked, never once let anyone know how he felt. He had grown up here, been born and raised just outside of town on a small farm, one long gone now and he had a brief stint in the Army when he had left High School, but he had come back here, to where his roots where even though he still wasn’t quite sure why.

Sitting at the back, he saw the many familiar faces of people he had known all his life, saw how they kept glaring at Naomi and her two young boys, how even those on the jury stole angry glances at her and he felt sick in his stomach, wondering if the truth could get past all the history that these people kept bottled up inside. He sighed a little, as he saw the way young Stephen Kessler slowly rose up, his head hanging down and Cole could feel his fear, feel it way at the back even as the young boy tried to move in front of his younger brother and mother, someone from the other side yelling out ‘FAGGOT’ that didn’t even get a single rap from the Judge’s gavel, merely a few snickers from some of the other spectators. Stephen Kessler looked so scared that Cole ached inside for the boy, knowing his pain, feeling it even and yet his face remained passive as he waited for the court to settle down, the Judge even smirking a little and then putting on his ‘judicial look’ as if anyone really cared.

He could see Naomi; her head held high and she turned around, staring back at the many hostile faces that greeted her. Cole couldn’t understand her really, she always came in to the café before she headed to work on the weekends, always ordered the same too but she never seemed angry or mad, despite the glares she still got each time she came in. What possessed her to force this case, he wondered, as he saw Stephen Kessler staring out at the courtroom. He saw his eyes, the way they seemed to just bulge out from his sockets, his dark brown hair resting in strands around his collar, soaked by his perspiration and then Cole saw Steve look at his mother, saw the spark in the eyes as he looked at her and Cole watched enthralled as Naomi nodded to him, smiling even and in that glance he knew why Mark Kessler had fallen for her. She certainly still had the look; even now at 34 she was still a looker, which also explained why so many still had a passionate dislike for her. She was still a threat to them, to their husbands, which was why they were so opposed to her, why they were determined to ruin her and why they were also so unflinching in their support of Don Sheppard.

Stephen Kessler looked so frightened, so timid even that it was easy for Cole to think that he was a perfect victim for people like Don Sheppard, but would anyone watching see that, or would they see something else? Would they look past the frightened gaze, the sweating face, and see a scared kid or would all they see be the boy’s mother, the disappointment many still felt because Mark Kessler had married her and not them or their daughters? Cole sighed as he saw Ken Sutter walking up towards where Stephen sat, sworn in and looking like he would bolt any second. Cole didn’t care for Ken Sutter, he hated the way the guy always was so condescending to everyone, acting like he was just biding his time until he could blow the town off which is exactly what he was doing.

Ken Sutter “How you doing Steve? Bit nervous huh?”

Steve Kessler “Yeah, suppose”

Ken “Don’t blame you, kind of a tough thing you have to do here, but no one here is going to hurt you Steve, we just want to hear your side of things, fair enough?”

Steve “I guess”

Ken “Fine, now you know the difference between the truth and a lie, right?”

Steve “Yeah”

Ken “Good, how do you do in school Steve? Get good grades and all?”

Steve “Okay I guess, not great, but okay”

Ken “C’s or B’s?”

Steve “B’s mostly, few C’s”

Ken “Well that’s not bad, you play sports too don’t you?”

Steve “Some”

Ken “Play any baseball Steve?”

Steve “No, not since little league, I uh, no, not anymore”

Ken “No? You were pretty good if I remember, you batted what, 320 or something like that didn’t you?”

Steve “330”

Ken “That’s pretty good, how come you didn’t keep up with it Steve?”

Steve “Don’t know, didn’t care for it I guess”

Ken “Come on Steve, you can tell us, why didn’t you keep up with baseball? Was it because of something else, something that made you afraid?”

Karen Ryder “Objection Your Honour, the prosecutor is leading the witness”

Ken “He’s a minor your Honour, he’s scared, surely the court can grant some leeway here”

Judge “He’s 15 Mr Sutter, sustained, you know better than to lead the witness Mr Prosecutor”

Ken “Yes your Honour… Okay Steve, tell the court why you stopped playing baseball”

Steve “I… I didn’t like it anymore”

Ken “What didn’t you like anymore, baseball?”

Steve “No, baseball is okay I guess, it was, other stuff”

Ken “What other stuff Steve?”

Steve “I already told the Sheriff, isn’t that enough?”

Ken “No Steve it isn’t, the court and the jury over there need to hear it, they need you to tell them just like you told the Sheriff and myself”

Steve “It was the special sessions that the Coach had me take, that and the showers, it didn’t feel right, I didn’t like it”

Ken “He gave you extra practise?”

Steve “Sort of, least that’s how he called it, but it wasn’t baseball”

Ken “What was it?”

Steve “It was, I guess, it was sex, look, I was only 10, okay, I didn’t know different…”

Ken “That’s okay Stephen, calm down, now just relax, come on boy, settle down”

Steve “It’s not fair, you said I could tell this without him watching, without everyone here, why do I have to do this?”

Ken “I am sorry Steve, but it’s the law, I explained that to you”

Steve “It’s not fair”

Judge “Young man that isn’t for you to decide, now you answer the prosecutors questions, now you tell this court just what you did in these so called special sessions”

Ken “Your honour, I object”

Judge “Be quiet, let your witness answer the questions”

Ken “Yes Sir, Steve…”

Steve “He made a couple of us do extra laps, in the gym after everyone else had gone, stuff like that”

Ken “That doesn’t sound too bad, how many of you?”

Steve “Me mostly, couple times Tommy Shanks and Willie Bertrand were there”

Ken “Okay, and how were you dressed?”

Steve “We were naked mostly”

Ken “Okay, you sure about that?”

Steve “Yeah, it wasn’t all the time, sometimes he’d let us wear our underwear or jock straps”

Ken “But most of the time you did extra laps in the nude, right?”

Steve “Yeah”

Ken “You heard both Willie and Tommy say that they never did any laps nude, how do you explain that?”

Steve “I don’t know, maybe they just don’t remember it, they weren’t there all the time”

Ken “So it was possible then that maybe the times they were there Coach Sheppard only had you boys strip to your underwear?”

Steve “I suppose, could be”

Ken “When it was just you there, he had you strip completely naked though?”

Steve “Yeah”

Ken “What else happened at these sessions?”

Steve “He’d make me do sit-ups while he held my feet, or do chin ups on the bar”

Ken “And you were naked all this time?”

Steve “Yeah”

Ken “Did he make the other boys do sit ups and that when they were there?”

Steve “I think so, it was mostly laps and then we had to shower”

Ken “Tell the court about the showers, the coach would what, tell you to hit the showers?”

Steve “Yeah, but he’d stand there, watching us, making sure we, making sure we used lots of soap, everywhere”

Ken “That doesn’t sound too bad, why did it bother you Steve?”

Steve “It was the way he always made sure we soaped our, you know, our privates, he kept watching us do it, telling us even how to hold it and stuff”

Ken “Okay, and when it was just you there, was it any different?”

Steve “Yeah”

Ken “How was it different Steve?”

Steve “Do I have to? I mean, ask him, make him tell you, why do I have to?”

Judge “Enough young man, you know why, you are one of those who has made these charges, it is up to you to tell this court what happened, now answer the question”

Steve “He would be in the shower too, he’d rub the soap on, then, then he make me, I don’t want to, please, I don’t…”

Ken “You have to Steve, just a bit more, come on now, he’d rub the soap on you then what, what happened next?”

Steve “He’d touch me, rubbing the soap and all, then, then he’d make me do it to him, okay? Does that answer your question?”

Ken “Not quite, he touched you, how did he touch you?

Steve “How do you think? Shit, he’d run his hand, he’d run his hand up and down my, my penis, he’d squeeze it and all that, Christ, why do I have to do this?”

Ken “So that this doesn’t happen to anymore kids, now come on Steve”

Steve “No one believes me anyways, it isn’t going to stop him”

Ken “That’s for those folks in the jury to decide Steve, not you, now you tell them the truth, just like you told me and the Sheriff and let justice do its part, okay?”

Steve “I am not stupid, I know how this stuff works”

Ken “Steve, what else did the coach do in the shower with you?”

Steve “Fine, you want to know? All of you want to know just what kind of coach he is? Okay, he would stick his soapy fingers in my butt, he’d stick them in while he would touch my penis, then he’d make me soap his, make me touch it and rub it, he would tell me how special I was, how important I was to him and to the team, that I was lucky to be getting his special attention, that I was special. He’s hold me next to him, rubbing his body up against mine, he’d do that until he cummed, is that what you wanted to hear? Are you all happy now?”

Ken “Is this the truth Steve?”

Steve “YES, GOD DAMN IT YES! He, he did things, he knows he did them, look at him, I am not lying, he did those things to me”

Ken “Why are you telling us now, why didn’t you say something before?”

Steve “I couldn’t, he said it was being a team player, I believed him, I was only 10 at first, I looked up to him, he was like, he was always there, don’t you get it? He made out like he cared, but he didn’t, he was always around so as to keep an eye on us, to keep us from talking”

Ken “Who is us?”

Steve “All of his special players, I know I wasn’t the only one, Tommy Shanks was one, Willie was another, I am not sure, I think there were others too”

Ken “Both Willie and Tommy deny it Steve, they say it never happened like you say it did”

Steve “They are lying, can’t you see that?”

Ken “Why would they lie? Why wouldn’t they tell the truth?”

Steve “I’d lie too if it wasn’t for Rory, don’t you get it, everyone things I am a fag now, they think I am queer and that is why Willie and Tommy lied”

Ken “Are you?”

Steve “NO!”

Ken “Then why would anyone think you are?”

Steve “ ‘cause, I let him do that stuff, but I was only 10 at first, I didn’t know any better, that’s why”

Ken “So why now, why are you standing here telling us this, knowing how your friends are thinking, why are you doing this?”

Steve “I have to, Rory is having nightmares, it was the only way to stop the nightmares”

Ken “Rory? Your little brother?”

Steve “Yeah, he started playing for Coach Sheppard this spring, and the nightmares started right after”

Ken “Did Rory tell you about his nightmares?”

Steve “Yeah, but I knew before”

Ken “Oh? How did you know?”

Steve “I had the same nightmares, back when I played for Coach Sheppard”

Ken “What did Rory tell you Steve?”

Karen Ryder “Objection, hearsay your Honour”

Ken “It is direct testimony your honour, the boy has direct knowledge of the conversation”

Karen “Maybe, but unless the Prosecutor is prepared to put the younger boy on the stand, there is no way to confirm or deny the accuracy of the related conversations and as such we would have no way of being able to properly refute the testimony, it would create a bias towards my client your Honour”

Ken “Your Honour, the witness is under oath, we have the younger boy’s statement, made before the Sheriff and myself that will confirm his older brother’s testimony, surely that is sufficient?”

Karen “You know it isn’t Ken, your honour if this boy is allowed to relate conversations he had with his younger boy, then we should have the right to have it confirmed by the boy himself, so we can question him as to his voracity, my clients entire life is on trail here, his whole future is at stake, surely that has to count too, not just a scared 11 year old’s feelings?”

Judge “Enough you two, Mr Prosecutor you know the law, are you prepared to put the younger brother on the stand?”

Ken “Your Honour, I ask the court to not ask that, to take into account the potential harm such action could cause this boy, he is only 11 after all”

Judge “It wouldn’t be the court’s responsibility Mr Prosecutor, it is yours, if you wish to have the older brother testify about a conversation that is potentially damaging to the defendant, then to insure justice for all parties, the defence should be entitled to refute those allegations at the source, it is the guiding principle of our entire system and you know that, so are you prepared to have the younger brother testify?”

Ken “I’d rather not your honour”

Judge “Then I will have no choice Mr. Prosecutor but to sustain the objection, so, what shall it be?”

Ken “If it pleases the court, may I have a few minutes to discuss this with the boy’s mother?”

Judge “Very well, make it brief Mr Prosecutor”

Ken “Yes your honour”

Cole stared at the people around him, watching how some of them snickered and he felt sick inside. His stomach churned with acid as he saw the whispered conversation taking place at the front, saw how Naomi kept her face impassive but he was certain she was feeling anger; she had if she was human. He looked around seeing the way many of his fellow citizens were all staring at her and Ken Sutter, enjoying her discomfort and pain. He never really thought about it before, about how mean people could be simply because they didn’t like another person or perceived them to be the source of some imagined slight. All she had done was marry the guy who got her pregnant, how could they hate her for that?

The loud buzz of voices in whispered conversation silenced suddenly as everyone saw Ken Sutter stand up and head back to the prosecutor’s table where he looked up at the Judge. Cole noticed how Ken seemed to have suddenly aged, almost as if the enormity of the case he was trying had broken through his conscious mind. It was as if he just accepted that the defendant was truly guilty of the charges.

Ken “Your honour, with reluctance we will be calling the younger brother to the stand”

Judge “Very well, in that case objection overruled”

Ken “Your Honour, we would ask that when we do, that the boy’s testimony be held in closed session”

Karen “We’d object your honour”

Judge “I am sure you will, however this is premature, Mr. Prosecutor you may make your motion at that time, for now get on with the witness at hand please”

Ken “Yes your honour”

Cole couldn’t handle it any longer, and he quickly made his way out the courtroom door where he leaned up against the wall, taking in several deep breathes of air as the scenes of young Steve Kessler sitting all alone up there tore into his heart. He knew the fear the boy had to be going through and was even a bit amazed at how he stuck it out. He doubted if he would have that kind of courage and he was 32 years old, not 15 like Steve was. He shook his head and headed outside, wanting to walk a bit before heading home and getting ready for work. He had the dinner shift and he knew the topic of conversation was going to be today’s testimony.

1:40 p.m.

He leaned over the chain linked fence, staring out at the baseball diamond laid out before him and he could see himself, years ago when he too played on that field. His heart was still troubled by all the memories the trial was bringing to him and he felt the pain once more, the fear as well as his eyes swept across the field. Nothing much had changed over time and could still himself running the bases after a big hit, see his team mates standing along the 3rd baseline to greet him and there too stood his coach, the man on trial for raping a boy entrusted to his care.

It wasn’t right he thought, as he looked over at the bleachers, recalling how packed they would always be, how the local townsfolk would cheer him and his friends on, even when they were down 8 runs or more, they always cheered. Strange, they were the same people who sat in the court today snickering, leering at a 15 year old boy and his mother simply because she had made a mistake so many years ago. They never did seem to forgive her and he couldn’t understand it, couldn’t figure out why everyone in town hated her so much and yet still adored Mark Kessler as if he was some God? It just didn’t make sense and he finally let the memories fade and headed home, to get ready for work.

His mind kept dredging up the image of young Steve, the way his eyes looked out at the people, at how his face shone from the sweat that poured down his face and yet through it all there was something else that had drawn Cole’s attention. It wasn’t that he could see the fear or even the hurt the boy was feeling, but there was almost a sense of defiance too, as if he was not going to let the snickers get to him. In many ways Cole thought he admired him and yet in other ways he wondered what kind of mother Naomi was to allow her son to face such humiliation? He could just imagine what it must be like for the boy in school, and now to let her youngest suffer the same fate, made him feel sick.

Turning the corner his mind was preoccupied by the cruelty of the justice system and he didn’t notice the tall man sitting on his front porch steps, not until he came to the small faded white picket fenced gate and then his heart leapt and he could hear its thunderous voice as he recognized Keith. It was like a gift from heaven, as Keith wasn’t supposed to have leave for at least another six weeks and yet here he was, sitting on his front step. He ran forward, smiling and then stopped, seeing a neighbour staring over at him and Keith. Out of the corner of his eye he also noticed a cruiser coming down the street and he was certain that one of his neighbours had reported the stranger on his front step. One of the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small town, everyone knew you and all that went on.

Cole “Keith! What the hell, what are you doing here?”

Keith “Surprised huh? I got special furlough, uh, where the hell you been?”

Cole “Long story, come on inside, man this is great, why didn’t you phone?”

Keith “Got the news yesterday, hopped a bus this morning…”

Cole couldn’t believe his luck, it was exactly what he needed given his present mood and the second the front door closed, he reached out, pulling Keith towards him and kissing his mouth hard, pressing his lips with surprising force onto Keith’s own mouth, his body pressing hard into the tall 6ft 1in man. He could feel the rise in the man’s slacks, knowing his own body was as eager and as pleased as Keith’s was starting to show.

They kissed hard for a second or two before they broke apart, holding hands and just staring at each other. It had been at least 4 months since they had seen each other, even though they talked frequently online with instant messages and e-mail. Still this was a surprise and he felt the rise in temperature, the way his body suddenly seemed very warm as he stared into Keith’s smiling eyes. The deep navy blue looked like a perfect sea, calm and relaxed and he smiled back, enjoying the sight in front, breathing in deeply as he let Keith’s cologne fill his thoughts.

Just seeing him was enough; to know that he had come all this way just to see him was even more of a rush for Cole, as he felt the morning’s pain and anxiety leave his body. All he could think of was how lucky he was at this moment and he forgot all about Steve Kessler, the trial and all that it really meant. The memories were gone about Coach Sheppard, replaced by the warm thoughts of Keith and the last four years of his life, the time he liked to refer to as when he finally became a person.

Cole “Christ it’s good to see you”

Keith “Haha, yeah I can see that”

Cole “Pig”

Cole smiled and glanced back down as his own tented pants then his eyes crossed over to see Keith’s own tell tale bulge. He reached down with his hand to touch the extended bulge, feeling Keith’s eyes following his every move. His hand gently pressed against the hot groin feeling the stiff thick pole inside and he looked back up, to see the glint in Keith’s eyes, and he simply smiled back, his hand resting on Keith’s bulge.

Cole “How long?”

Keith “Oh the same, 7 ¼ I think…”

Cole “Bastard, I know how long That is, I meant, how long do you have?”

Keith “Haha, about a month”

Cole “A whole month? Shit, they are getting generous”

Keith “Yeah well, uh…”

Cole saw the way Keith stared away, his eyes suddenly clouding to his gaze and he felt a sort of twinge in his own chest. There was something up and it wasn’t just the obvious either as he waited, knowing that Keith would tell him in a minute or two. The Navy didn’t give you a month leave without reason, and he waited, his heart beating a mile a second, torn between wanting to know now and wanting to rip the shirt off of Keith’s back, to tear into his body and surrender to the ache that was ripping into his own thoughts even as he stood there. He felt a dryness in his throat, which only added to his desire to push aside the news and just head straight for his bedroom.

Cole “So?”

Keith “I got a promotion”

Cole “Yeah? HEY, That’s great…”

Keith “Sort of, it also means a transfer”

Cole “Shit, to where?”

Keith “Seattle”

Cole “Well that’s not too bad, bit further to go but doable…”

Keith “Yeah, but, we ship out a week after I get there, could be for as long as 6 months”

Cole “FUCK”

Keith “I am sorry Cole, but…”

Cole “Hey, not your fault, guess its all part of being a navy bitch…”

Keith “Yeah, well you wives get all the breaks, I mean it’s a real hardship for us poor men folk”

Cole “Uh huh, surrounded by what, 5,000 horny studs isn’t my idea of hardships fella”

Keith “Well, I suppose if one was single you could be right, but… shit Cole, we have been together for 4 years and the longest I was away was for 90 days back last September.”

Cole “I know, going to take some getting used to, but it’s the promotion you wanted isn’t it?”

Keith “Yeah, but, shit Cole, I don’t know, I always dreamed of this from the moment I enlisted 12 years ago, now, I don’t know, I kind of enjoying playing house with you, I want that just as much, maybe even more”

Cole “I know, I want it too but this is your dream Keith, you have to have it, it is who you are and maybe why I fell in love with you”

Keith “Christ, I love you so much”

Cole “I can tell… haha”

Keith “Now who is the pig? Come on, where is the bedroom?”

Cole “Don’t you want to see the rest of the house first?”

Keith “No, you know damn well what I want to see first”

Cole “Gee, such impatience, you sailors are all alike, haha”

Keith just smiled as he wrapped his arms around Cole’s body, pulling him into his own body. He saw the glint in Cole’s green eyes, saw the swirling colours that reminded him of the ocean and he closed his own eyes as he brought his face forward, letting his lips brush gently up against Cole’s warm mouth. He felt the jolt inside as he suddenly found himself crushing his lips hard into the lips, his tongue pushing out and forcing Cole’s lips apart. He felt the sudden inhale of air and felt his own exhale as he dove his tongue deep inside the waiting mouth. He flicked the tongue to the left and then flattened it down on top of Cole’s own wiggling tongue. He felt the roughness and sighed as his hands reached down, each one firmly taking hold of Cole’s buttocks, feeling his fingers digging past the pants into the soft flesh.

Cole shook as the power of Keith’s passion suddenly reared up and entered him. His whole body was quivering as he felt the tongue snaking inside of his mouth, his own lips crushing back against Keith’s mouth, tasting the warmth as it invaded his body, travelling down from his jaw and chin to make his heart beat faster, to make his pulse race with a feverish desire. Every part of him was suddenly awake, feeling alive and feeling excited as he let his body press hard into Keith’s tall frame. His own hands moved around, to grasp at the back of his man, to feel the taut muscles and as his hands held on, he felt the passion rising inside, knowing that he would always remember this moment for years to come.

They kissed hard for a few minutes, each of them experiencing the unbridled desire that flowed between them, the afternoon sun still gleaming into the hallways through the frosted glass on either side of the front door. Keith could feel its warmth but it was nothing to the fires that were kindled inside of his body. He could feel Cole’s desire reaching for him and his own equally strident needs reaching back. It was as he had hoped, and he swung Cole around in a tight pirouette, sweeping him off his feet for a minute and then they broke apart, both laughing as they stared with love into each other’s faces.

Cole “Okay sailor boy, you have convinced me, no grand tour first”

Keith “Good, hate to have to bring out the big guns”

Cole “Oh I don’t know, it’s big but not that big!”

Keith “You will regret that”

Cole “Oh I sure as hell hope so”

Keith laughed as he slapped Cole’s rear, letting him jump a bit and then smiling as Cole reached back for his hand. They stared at each other for another few seconds before Cole lead them down the small hallway and then to the closed door opposite the living room. He stopped with his one hand on the doorknob, turning to gaze back into Keith’s blue shimmering eyes and he felt so much joy that he was afraid he’d wet his pants, but then they already were wet and not from pee either as he opened the bedroom door and stepped back to one side, pulling Keith into the room for the first time.

They stared at each other, Keith checking out the room but each glance elsewhere only brought his eyes back to Cole. He stared at the big four-post bed, judging it to be a queen sized one but as his eyes twinkled at that, he caught the glimmer of silver out of the corner of his eye. He stood there, his face growing serious as he held tightly to Cole’s hand and then he released it, walking towards the night table where the alarm clock and telephone rested. His hand shook as he slowly picked up the plain silver edged picture frame, staring at his own image, one of him in his dress uniform, and he felt the tears coming to his eyes as he turned to stare at Cole, who had come up beside him.

Keith “How did you…”

Cole “I stole it, I know I should have asked, but… I took it a few years back, had a copy made and replaced the original, I am sorry…”

Keith “Sorry? I never, Cole, no one ever… shit”

He couldn’t contain himself as the tears flooded his eyes, dripping down his face as he turned to reach out for Cole, bringing him close to his body and he hugged him hard, making Cole wince from the pressure and then they stared into each other’s eyes, seeing the love they had for each other. Keith couldn’t believe how lucky he was as he felt Cole reaching up with his hand, gently wiping away the still falling drops of tears. He could feel the passion as their bodies continued to press hard into each other. It was as he had always dreamed of, the growing friendship that had started one night four years ago in a gay bar, his first real venture into the world that he had denied for so long, one that now was bringing him something he thought he’d never have for as long as he was in the Navy, but here he was, madly in love and he knew that Cole cared as deeply for him.

Cole “I couldn’t stand not having you close to me somehow, back then I mean, it was so hard, coming up when you got leave, not knowing when you’d have your next one, you aren’t mad are you?”

Keith “No, I never, I have always wanted to ask you for one too, never had the nerve”

Cole “Really?”

Keith “Yeah, I don’t know, everyone has pictures, except me, oh sure I got mom and dad and sis but, shit, I know its crazy, just that seeing that, it is like, well like all this makes sense now, crazy huh?”

Cole “No, its just, I mean won’t people talk?”

Keith “No, they might whisper, but you know the policy, ‘Don’t ask’ so I think its okay, besides, not so much that I want one on the desk or such, but I want one for my wallet, so I can take it out when up there, to put it up on the panel and see you, Cole…”

Cole “We can get one, I don’t have any really that are recent, but we can find something, or maybe we can take a drive into the city, get one made at Sears or something”

Keith “Okay, but right now, I think I’ll settle for the real thing, in the flesh”

Cole “Haha, I think I like the real thing myself too”

Their eyes were smiling at each other, Cole could feel Keith’s desire but more than that, he felt his love as slowly their two heads tilted to opposite sides, their eyes holding each other’s inner thoughts locked into place as they moved closer, the love fanning the flames deep within their souls. Cole felt it as their lips touched lightly at first, the fires reaching for him and his own flames answering back. It was all he had ever thought about, the joy that he had each time they met, each time that they shared this moment. It was what kept him going each day and it was what drove him mad every night, knowing that it was a fleeting moment. He ached so much as he slowly let his eyes close, letting Keith’s passion work its way further into his body. He felt his muscles shudder as Keith’s strong arms encircled him, holding him even tighter as his lips pressed harder against Cole’s mouth. The taste of mint wafted inside as he slowly let his lips part, feeling the warm tingle that came each time that Keith kissed him. The wet press of lips against his own was making him tremble as he felt the strong hands running down his back, holding his buttocks in their grasp. He sighed feeling the pure pleasure that now run up and down his whole body, his legs twitching a little as Keith kissed his chin, then his nose and then crushing his lips back against Cole’s mouth, Keith’s tongue suddenly filling his mouth with its tangy flavour and hint of mint.

They kissed long and hard for several minutes, each one taking a turn at exploring the other’s mouth and as they kissed, their hands roamed freely along both bodies. Keith’s hands were nimble and deft as he unbutton Cole’s shirt, feeling inside and as his hand touched the hot flesh he could feel his own body tremble with desire. His whole body grew hard as he felt the soft flesh yield to his gentle prodding, the way the nipples suddenly became hard and with each touch of his fingers against them he felt Cole sucking in his breathe, the excitement building up in his lover’s body as his hands roamed freely down the chest, touching the muscles coiled underneath the hot skin. His own body began to ache as he felt Cole’s fingers undoing his own shirt, felt the tender touch of the fingertips as they ran lightly up his chest, curling the light tufts of chest hair and then moving across to run around the protruding nipples, feeling the light touch that send waves of excitement deep into his own body. He felt like he was among the clouds once more, the clear blue sky above and the soft white fluff below. It was as close to heaven as he wanted to get and here he was, feeling it all once again but without any need for a multi million dollar jet. All he needed was the man who he held tightly next to his own beating chest. He felt the tears in his eyes as he savoured the taste of Cole, his hands now moving down to undo the pants, to let their passion free.

Keith felt his own pants slowly sliding down his legs and he smiled inside, feeling the air wafting across his bare skin. The hair on his legs standing on edge in anticipation as he felt the ache growing more intense with each passionate kiss, with each touch of Cole’s warm tender hands. His whole body shook and all he could see was Cole’s face ahead of him, surrounded in the backlight of a morning’s sunrise at 45,000 feet. It was a breathtaking image and he felt his lungs ache, sucking in more air as his body continued to grabble with Cole’s smaller but equally well developed body. His heart thundered with the pure joy it was feeling as he slowly felt their entwined bodies sinking down towards the bed. His whole body was alive, in a way he had never really experienced before, not even with Cole. It was almost as if the love they had for each other was finally coming forward, finally being set free and he felt a hitch in his throat as he moaned a soft whimpering sigh. It was better than he had ever hoped for as he felt the bed give to their combined weight, felt it give to their bodies and still he felt like he was among the heavens, floating in the arms of his lover among the sun and clouds.

The press on his chest suddenly eased and he felt the warm air of the bedroom wafting across his sweat stained body, and as he opened his eyes he saw Cole’s head at his feet and then he felt the pull around his ankles as his pants and underwear were suddenly removed, his shoes and socks already gone. His face grew excited as he saw Cole standing up, his naked body gleaming in the muted rays of the sun that still shone in through the closed blinds. He saw the streaks of gold flashing across the flat stomach, the dark hairs glistening at the top of Cole’s groin, and his eyes twinkled as he stared at the hard throbbing organ that seemed to jut out from Cole’s young body. He sighed again as he saw Cole reach into the night table, and then turn back to look at Keith. He saw the small package in his hand, and he pulled himself further up the bed, raising his upper body with his elbows as he watched Cole tear open the small package, pulling out the thin-coated plastic condom . Cole tossed the empty package to one side, and turned to stare down at Keith’s naked body, the pounding of his heart making his head echo to its wild thunderous beat.

Cole’s eyes widened as he stared down at Keith’s naked body. He saw the finely chiselled facial features, the way that Keith’s dark navy blue eyes glistened in the room, the way his face shone with the reflection of the sun’s rays and it all made him stop for a moment, unwilling to break the magic spell that seemed to cloak them both. His heart grew silent now as his eyes devoured every inch of Keith’s nude body. He saw the way the nipples jutted out, their firm deep maroon colour in stark contract to the golden tanned flesh of Keith’s body. He could see the sun darkened chest hairs, the way they curled and even moved with each breath that Keith took. It all conspired to make his head swoon as he realized that this man loved him, that what lay on his bed wasn’t just a man but his lover. He felt the pre cum dripping from his own aroused pole as his eyes moved down the tall 6ft 1in frame of Keith’s well-toned body towards his stomach and groin.

Slowly he felt his tongue licking at his lips as he gazed down at Keith’s trembling body. Every inch of his tall body gleamed from a thin sheen of perspiration, and as he stole a quick glance at Keith’s face, he saw the eager anticipation in the eyes, the desire and passion only welling up to reach for his own passion. He felt the excitement growing as his body began to sweat even more, his own fires reaching upwards to consume his thoughts, to plunge his entire mind into a roaring forest of dancing flames. He moved up, sitting on his knees, astride of Keith’s legs as his hands fumbled for a moment then found their nimbleness as he slowly reached forward, unrolling the thin plastic onto Keith’s throbbing 7 ¼ inch long pole that waved at him as he touched it. He breathed in deeply, smelling that special man aroma that he relished so much, the one that kept him awake some nights with its pungent odour and reminder of what he craved. It didn’t matter if weeks had passed, he could sometimes smell that same odour as if Keith had just been there next to him, and now it was all true, there Keith was on his bed, in his home, waiting for him.

His hand trembled as it gently grabbed hold of the slightly jerking pole, the heat almost burning his fingers as he held it tighter now, his eyes glancing upwards then back, then upwards again and then once more back and slowly he placed the condom over the fiery purple head, the white pre cum oozing down and around the huge cockhead. Cole’s felt his body shudder once, then a second time as bent forward, holding the hard thick pole steady with one hand, his other holding the thin plastic over the bubbling cockhead. His face now glared down at the winking pole, his heart stood still as he came closer, his mouth slowly opening as he pressed forward, letting his lips touch the burning hot flesh. He groaned as he felt the heat on his lips, felt the press of sizzling flesh against his mouth despite the plastic covering. He let his lungs suck in one last gasp of air and then he pressed down, letting his lips surround the thick throbbing cockhead, feeling Keith’s body suddenly buck to his touch, feeling Keith shudder as he slowly unwrapped the thin plastic condom with his lips, pushing it down the throbbing pole slowly, tasting the hot flesh beneath. Cole felt the thick head pushing past his teeth, filling his mouth and its heat searing the inside of his mouth.

He slid his mouth down the hot burning pole; his throat stretching wide as he slowly let the 7-¼ inch pole slide inside. He felt the heat burning the back of his throat as the thick 2-¼ inch cock filled his mouth and throat. He struggled to breathe as his mouth was filled and his jaw began to ache as he felt the huge penis jerk as it slid slowly down, his throat muscles screaming with the agony and the joy of having such a wonderful part of Keith inside. His whole body trembled as he felt the soft brush of Keith’s pubic hairs against his mouth and his eyes flickered open for a second. He saw the hot flesh, the way tiny beads of sweat glistened on each strand of dark blond pubic hairs. He saw the pink flesh darkened by the hair and he sighed, slowly raising his head, his tongue eagerly licking at the hot pole as it came reluctantly out from deep in his throat. Cole coughed as the hard throbbing cock flashed before him, then he bent down once more, kissing the hard flesh and then he moved upwards, his body pressing up against the throbbing weapon of passion. He felt it against his chest, rubbing and burning him at the same time as his eyes flashed, lightning striking him deep in his soul as he stared into Keith’s dark blue eyes. The eyelids fluttered as they both moaned, surprised by the power of their own hidden desires, suddenly released in this brief moment of passion.

Cole’s body slithered up the tall lanky frame, every pore in his body open as he felt the love coming inside, felt its power as it coursed thru his veins and as he reached the top, as his head came level to Keith’s he felt the fires licking at the very top of his skin, feeling the flames fanning his passion as his mouth suddenly crushed down hard onto Keith’s lips, his tongue snaking out like a power drill, forcing the surprised mouth to spread open and as it gave to his pressure, his tongue angled inside, licking hard at the very back of Keith’s throat. He tasted his man, his senses becoming overwhelmed by the rich flavour of Keith. His whole body shook as he felt Keith’s own frame tremble with passion and urgent desire. He kissed hard and deep and then pulled his body upwards, his hands spread to either side of Keith’s broad shoulders, his hair dangling a little in front of his eyes as he took a full minute to gaze with love at Keith, feeling the same look being returned.

He sat upright, his hips spread apart on either side of Keith’s shaking body as he sat upright, his one hand now resting firmly on one full breast of Keith’s chest. He felt the heart thundering inside, not sure if it was Keith’s or his own as his other hand reached backwards, behind him and as it moved back, his body lifted up as he found the hard throbbing pole, quickly securing it in his grip, and then with one last look of devotion, he pulled the hard throbbing penis forward, pushing it between the valley of his own buttocks, feelings it heat burning and yet aching for more, trembling with desire for all that it held within.

The pain was sharp and intense as his buttocks pushed down on the wedged penis it held. He cried out a loud burst as he felt his body pushing down, and in an instant he could feel the hard throbbing pole splitting his insides apart, felt it as it shunned aside the weak protest from his tiny pink hole. He cried as the huge throbbing pole lunged inwards, the heat and strength tearing into his very soul as his head was tossed backwards, the pain reaching every nerve of his body. His whole insides quaked to the shivering pole that slid unimpeded inside, pushing his body to the limits of endurance, and yet he craved more, ached for more as his soft flesh pressed down hard into Keith’s groin. He felt the tiny wet pubic hairs pressing, digging deep into the soft flesh of his cheeks and his hand tightened its hold on Keith’s breast, tearing and twisting at the firm nipple it held. His other hand rested on stomach, the fingers digging hard into the hot sweaty flesh. He cried out, joined by a gurgling sound of pain from Keith that was soon replaced a loud moan of pleasure.

He rocked back, his one hand suddenly free of the hot body, his other shaking in a spasm of joy as the huge cock filled his insides. Cole cried, felt the tears rolling down his face as his body suddenly moved upwards, the huge cock sliding out, till only the huge thick head remained inside, and then he felt his body shake, felt it tremble as it gathered its strength and his head fell forward, his eyes misted by sweat stared down at the wide open sea of blue and he could feel Keith’s heart now, feel it thundering next to his own. His mouth was open as he gasped for air, feeling Keith’s hand gripping his own 6 ¾ inch long pole, feel the power of the man’s hand as it held his cock tight, felt the love as his body shuddered as it once more began to slide down the hot burning pole. Keith’s hand held him tight, squeezing his cock as Cole felt his insides stretch once more, the pain making him shudder, the joy making him cry, the love flowing between them as their bodies joined again, each one thrusting to the other’s pushing. They were in unison and Cole felt the fires melting his flesh, felt his body shaking as it slowly dissolved, melting to mould itself into Keith’s own body. Sweat poured from his forehead as his body continued to rise and fall atop the huge thick pole that sunk deeper inside with each thrust, with each push.

Keith saw the heavens opening up in front of him. He saw the pure powder blue of the sky become streaked with the golden tinge of red from the early sun, he felt the fires burning as his body continued to soar among the heavens, no longer bound to the earth by machine or man, his body was free and he could see his spirit as it danced next to Cole’s own unleashed soul. He gasped for air, feeling feint by the sudden rush of rarefied air that filled his lungs. It was rich in flavour and love as he tossed and felt his body bucking and twisting to the hard press of Cole’s own twisting body. His legs were numb and his arms continued to shudder. His hand was pulling at the hot pole it held, feeling the skin burning his own flesh and he could feel the power, feel the love as his other hand slammed the bed, the joy too much for his nerves, too much for his mind as his head rolled from side to side.

Cole’s body was no longer his as it reared up and then thrust downwards, rising and falling guided by some unseen force, the power too much for his mind to comprehend. He cried out, his voice lost among the strident groans coming from Keith. Their bodies became one, the heat burning the flesh as their souls danced among the heavens. Their spirits floated free at last as their passion took hold, guided them, nurtured them and even caressed them. Keith’s head was bathed in a river of sweat as was his whole body when he felt the hard 6 ¾ inch pole jerking in his hand, the hot sticky milk suddenly pushing past the tiniest of cracks of his fingers, the spray travelling up past his rolling belly, past his heaving chest to strike his chin. He moaned loudly as the full fresh scent of love reached his nostrils and his mouth ached for the flavour as he felt the cream striking him. His whole body grew harder the muscles fully coiled now as he timed his upward arch to meet fully Cole’s downward thrusts. His toes curled as he heard Cole’s heavy breathe, the power of their love growing stronger, becoming tighter around them.

His body shook and roared as the blood began to race from his limbs towards his groin. His body was on fire, burning without control as he soared high into the atmosphere, his head aimed for the sun itself, as he felts its rays burning his cheeks. He cried out as his body began to tremble, the pain in his groin unbearable as he reached out, his hand shaking, his fingers stretched outwards, almost free from their sockets as he felt his body gyrating, twisting and shaking. Keith’s loud voice boomed into the room, louder with each strangled sound as his heart raced faster and faster. The bed felt more like an ocean as their bodies continued to stream from sweat and he heard Cole’s cries, heard his urgent pleas as his body continued to thrust onto Keith’s groin. His legs were like rubber now; his arms flayed the bed with a strange sense of wild abandon.

The force of his passion drove his hard pole deep into Cole’s body, his cockhead banging up hard against the very end of Cole’s inner valley of love. He cried loudly as his body continued to explode, no longer in the shape of a man, instead it was a molten bed of passion, his flesh no longer his but instead a golden river of love. He saw Cole rising high up into the air, his head tossed back, rivers of sweat pouring from all sides, his hair matted and soaked as his body continued to arch upwards, continued to keep Cole impaled fully on the pulsing exploding hose that was his penis. He saw nothing but the golden halo of the sun as his eyes were burned blind by the brilliance of the passion that now surrounded him and Cole. His heart couldn’t keep beat, no longer in sync as it had long since surpassed its top beat. His lungs were empty and he could hear himself gasping for air as his body continued to arch upwards, continued to keep the hot young man on top, to raise him higher than the sun itself as his body continued to be drained of its love.

3:54 p.m.

Judge “I am warning you Mr. Prosecutor, take your seat and let counsel continue with her cross examination of the witness, objection is over ruled.”

Ken Sutter “But he is only a boy your honour, surely…”

Judge “Enough, or I will hold you in contempt if you utter another word, do you understand?”

Ken “Yes your Honour”

Judge “Good, proceed Ms Ryder”

Karen Ryder “Thank you your honour… now Stephen, you say your little brother Rory told you all this one night, correct?”

Stephen “Yes”

Karen “And when did you tell your mother?”

Stephen “I don’t know, later on I guess”

Karen “Later on? How much later on, the next morning, the next afternoon, a week later, how long Stephen?”

Stephen “I don’t know, maybe a week later, I am not sure”

Karen “Wasn’t it actually ten days later?”

Stephen “Maybe, I suppose it could have been”

Karen “In fact it was, at least according to your own statement, and wasn’t it also the same day your Mother got the news from the doctor about Rory’s medical condition? Wasn’t that why you told her about Rory’s so called confession to you?”

Stephen “It isn’t so called, it’s what he said”

Karen “Yes, but you didn’t go to your mother right away with it, now did you?”

Stephen “No”

Karen “And wasn’t it because you were afraid?”

Ken “Your honour, really, I must object, counsel is badgering the witness and trying to put words into his mouth”

Judge “Over ruled, defence has some latitude here given the nature of the charges, continue Ms Ryder”

Karen “Why didn’t you tell your mother later that night Stephen, why did you wait so long?”

Stephen “I don’t know, it isn’t easy to talk to your mom about that, about that kind of stuff, I didn’t know what to do”

Karen “No? Why didn’t you go to a teacher then?”

Stephen “I don’t know, same reason I guess”

Karen “Isn’t it true that you only told your mother because of the Doctor calling her to his office and him telling her that Rory had a disease, a disease that could be caught through sexual contact? Isn’t that the only reason?”

Stephen “No, it isn’t”

Karen “No? Well maybe it was then perhaps because the doctor also told your mother that you were also infected, and your mother is a smart lady, she knows you sleep in the same room as Rory, she put two and two together didn’t she? She called you on it and you concocted this whole abuse story to deflect the blame, didn’t you?”

Ken “Your Honour, this isn’t cross examination, this is character assassination of the worst kind, this is a child, there is no proof that Stephen has any such disease”

Karen “I have the health records here your Honour, and the doctor is present in court if the Prosecutor wishes to verify these records”

Ken “Your Honour, those are confidential records, defence has no right to have them, and the doctor has no right to have given her those records without the permission of the patient or in this case the patient’s mother as he is a juvenile”

Judge “Ms Ryder, how did you get these records?”

Karen “Your Honour, the prosecution should know that it is a doctor’s responsibility to report any STD case to county health, we obtained the records from them, they are not sealed by any doctor/patient confidentiality, not if the doctor provides the names”

Ken “That is absurd, the doctor isn’t required to report names”

Karen “Whether or not he is required, the fact is he did, and so it is in the public domain”

Ken “Your honour, these are minor children, I object to this most strenuously”

Judge “Yes I am sure you do, however Counsel knows the law, objection over ruled”

Karen “Thank you your honour, well Stephen?”

Stephen “NO! I didn’t, no, that’s not true, it isn’t”

Karen “How did you get the same sexually transmitted disease then Stephen?”

Stephen “I… I don’t know, I…”

Karen “Isn’t it true that you got it from somewhere, and gave it to Rory, isn’t that the truth?”

Stephen “NO! I don’t have it, that isn’t true, what Rory said, it’s the truth, he told me, he was crying, I swear, please, you have to believe me, Rory didn’t get it from me”

Karen “Then how did you get it? You can only get it by having sexual contact with another infected person, you aren’t 11 Stephen, you are 15, so how did you get it? Who else are you having unprotected sex with? Who Stephen?”

Stephen “No one, I swear, I didn’t give it to Rory, you have to believe me, Oh God why are you doing this to me?”

Karen “I am not doing anything Stephen, you brought this on yourself by making up this horrible story about my client, about your Coach, a man who befriended you, a man who tried to help you, now isn’t that true Stephen?”

Stephen “NO! He only was nice to me so he could, so he could do stuff to me, like he does to others, I didn’t make this up”

Karen “Come on Stephen, how then did you get the same disease? Are you perhaps going to try and tell us that you and Coach Sheppard are still engaged in this activity, this relationship that you said makes you feel creepy? Is that your next lie Stephen?”

Ken “OBJECTION! Your Honour, there is no need for name calling, this is ridiculous”

Judge “Ms Ryder you will refrain from making those kind of comments, objection sustained”

Karen “I apologize your honour”

Ken “I ask that the question be struck your honour”

Judge “The jury will disregard the comment, however the question itself stands Mr. Prosecutor, answer the question young man”

Stephen “NO! I don’t know how I got it, why don’t you tell us if he does have it too? Why don’t you tell everyone about him?”

Karen “You think that will help your case Stephen?”

Stephen “I didn’t give it to Rory, I know that, I don’t do that stuff with him, I told you, I am not queer”

Karen “No? Perhaps not, and for the record, I do have Coach Sheppard’s health records here, he has no signs of any STD’s, he is perfectly clean young man, just as you know, because you are the one who infected your little brother, it is You who is the one who has taken advantage of Rory, and this whole trial is because your mother caught you at it, this was how you thought you could escape punishment, isn’t that the real truth here Stephen? ISN’T IT?”

Stephen “NO! I didn’t make this up, Coach Sheppard does things with boys, things he shouldn’t, I don’t know how, I didn’t do anything to Rory, he’s my little brother, I wouldn’t do that to him, I wouldn’t!”

Ken “Your Honour, Counsel is badgering the witness, he is only 15”

Judge “He may be only 15 Mr. Prosecutor however he has levied some serious charges, I think defence counsel is perfectly within her rights in aggressively pursuing the voracity of the witness.”

Ken “Then I ask for a recess your honour, let the boy calm down at least”

Judge “Yes, well perhaps that is a good idea, seeing as how it is late, we’ll adjourn till tomorrow at 9:30 am”

10:39 p.m.

He didn’t know how many times or how many versions he had listened to throughout the night about the afternoon session at the courthouse, but he felt sick to his stomach each time he heard it. Cole felt drained from the night’s work, not that it had been extra busy or anything but from the thoughts that kept hammering at his very soul, or so it seemed. He hated the way some of his so called neighbours were acting, the comments about Stephen were the worse, after all the kid was only 15 and already branded as not just a queer, but a liar too. They were all talking about how he had to be the one who had infected his younger brother, no one really stopping to think it through, no one really caring to consider other explanations. Coach Sheppard was too well known, and he had come close to getting them a state championship once, had a good chance several times of going beyond that, so how could he be ‘one of those’ as they called it? His heart wasn’t into his work either and as he got ready to close up he saw the SUV parked out front. He smiled knowing it was Keith, waiting patiently for him outside and he thought back to the afternoon, to the wild ride they had shared and more to the surprise that Keith had given him just before he had left for work.

Cole reached into his pants, feeling the small box and he could feel the joy inside of his heart. It still felt like a dream to him, to know that someone cared so much that they wanted him and he knew that he would have to make some tough decisions before the next few weeks passed, but then as he leaned against the counter, he really didn’t think it would take much to come to the decision that his heart wanted, that Keith wanted. His fingers played with the small blue velvet box inside his pants, and part of him wished he could pull it out and share it, but he also knew his neighbours so the box had stayed in his pocket, another good reason for choosing what Keith had suggested. If he did, he wouldn’t have to hide the simple gift, he could wear it without anyone asking potentially dangerous questions or without risking raised eyebrows and idle gossip. The thing was, he grew up here, this was his home and while it wasn’t much, it was home and he would be leaving all that behind, which was scary to consider, but then the way the town was acting, the way they were all rallying around someone like Don Sheppard, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to leave this place?

It still was amazing, the way Keith had simply sprung it all on him after, while lying there on the bed, the sweat still dripping form their bodies and he had reached over him, dragging his pants over to one side and the way he had looked, for a second or two Cole had thought something bad was wrong, the maybe he had taken the time to drive up to end it, to tell him that their four years together was nice but no longer possible. After all he was being promoted, he did have his career to think of and the Navy didn’t exactly like to have their commanders involved with same sex partners, no matter what the official policy might be. It was those thoughts that had been swirling through his mind when Keith had taken his hand and without a single word had slipped the ring on his finger. At first Cole didn’t know what to do or say, his nerves were so frayed by the trial and by the sudden presence of Keith that he could barely think and now this, and then it dawned on him and he cried.

Strange, they hadn’t spoken a word as he cried buckets; his head nestled into Keith’s warm arms, the tears simply adding to the whole surreal scene. He couldn’t believe it when Keith told him that he couldn’t stand not being with him every second he had, that even his ultimate joy, that of being up at 50,000 feet watching the sun rise wasn’t half as enjoyable as seeing Cole’s face when he walked in, and that of course only made Cole cry harder. It was all like a dream come true as Keith talked about moving, about him maybe trying to get a job in Seattle and the two of them finding a place to live, together, away from leering desk clerks at some cheap motel like they had been used to for the first two years of their relationship.

He didn’t know how but the blue box was in his hand, the lid open as he stared at the simple gold band, a small band running diagonally across the front, and he just couldn’t help but feel the love that they had for each other. It really was something he had never expected, not from Keith at least and maybe that too was all part of it, the way Keith could always find a way to surprise him, to make him feel so alive and so special, even after 4 years of being lovers. The whole idea of spending his remaining life with someone was scary and yet thinking of Keith, smelling him every morning was something that made the fear seem inconsequential. It was what he had hoped for, dreamed about every time he returned from a trip to be with Keith, and now he had a chance to reap that dream, to see it come true and he sighed, enjoying the warm tingle that rose from the tips of his toes and raced all up thru his whole body.

There was really nothing to hold him, Keith knew that too and yet he hadn’t pushed, had never really demanded that Cole leave his hometown and come to the city, and maybe that gave him concern but the look in Keith’s eyes when he had suggested it this afternoon put all of that out of his thoughts. He could see not just the desire, but also something more, almost like this tall consummate man actually needed him, not wanted but needed. It was a thought he never thought he’d have, that someone as capable and as desirable as Keith would actually need him. As he saw that need he also was able to feel the love that seemed to wrap itself around them both, and lying there naked, their bodies spent from a few hours of passion, he knew that staying here wasn’t for him, the house was rented and he could easily leave, his possessions gathered over a lifetime wouldn’t even fill a van let alone a moving van, and in that moment he knew that his future wasn’t here anymore, that it belonged with Keith wherever that may be.

The knock on the front door startled him and he quickly shut the lid of the ring box, placing it back into his pocket as he turned to see who was tapping at the door. His face showed his surprise as he recognized Ken Sutter and Naomi Kessler. For a brief instant panic ripped at him, and out of the corner of his eye he could see the big SUV, see Keith’s face staring out at him, a smile on his face and he managed to regain his composure as he headed towards the door. As he opened the door to them he felt the unease returning, along with the anger and fear as he knew they weren’t here for dinner, and he calmly let them in, his face showing nothing but recognition.

Cole “The grill is off, so there really isn’t anything hot”

Ken “Thanks but we aren’t here for that”

Naomi “Cole, I am sorry, but…”

Ken “Let me Naomi, okay?”

Naomi “Okay”

Cole “Let you what? Sorry for what Naomi?”

Ken “I know this isn’t easy Cole, but, well, your name has come up in regards to the case against Coach Sheppard”

Cole’s heart began to beat a little faster and he was certain he could feel tiny beads of perspiration forming on his forehead as he tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice. This was a nightmare coming true that he prayed would pass as quickly as it came. His whole life was just beginning to turn around for him, he didn’t need this added complication and yet, seeing the tears in Naomi’s eyes were almost enough to make him lose control over his memories. He took a deep breath, seeing Ken’s eyes narrowing as they focused on him.

Cole “Oh? How’s that?”

Ken “You know all about it, the case that is?”

Cole “Who doesn’t, course I do”

Ken “Well, it didn’t go good today, hell its been an uphill battle from the get go”

Cole “Well, most people think the world of Coach Sheppard, what did you expect?”

Naomi “Most maybe, but not all Cole, not all”

The way she spoke brought his fears forward, made him stare at her intently as if he could read her thoughts, but he couldn’t. All he saw instead was a women not much older than him but one who looked like she was nearing her nineties. The strain was etched across her face and he could see the panic in her eyes, the despair even as she had spoken and his heart began to ache for her.

Cole “Well he’s no saint like some think, still, what does this have to do with me?”

Ken “We have been trying to go back in time, to see if maybe there are others from the past who could help corroborate Stephen and Rory’s statements”

Cole “And? I still don’t see what this has to do with me”

Naomi “Please Cole, you have always at least been decent to me, please, if you know anything, my boys need your help, never mind me, for them, can you just imagine what its going to be like for them even if we win? It’ll be ten times worse if we lose, please Cole…”

Ken “Naomi, please, I know this is tough for you, just let me talk to Cole, uh why don’t you have a seat and maybe there is some coffee? Cole?”

Cole “Uh yeah, sure, hang on I’ll get you some”

He quickly moved to the coffee machine, pouring one for Naomi as his mind continued to race. He doubted if they could know anything specific, and he certainly didn’t think anyone but Coach Sheppard and himself knew of his own relationship with the Coach, he had never discussed, never talked about it to anyone else, and he had only mentioned it briefly to Keith when the whole thing broke out, months earlier. They had discussed it and Keith and he had agreed, it was not for him to get involved in, not for him to go to Ken or the Sheriff about either, it would cause just too much trouble for them both. Now he had even more to lose as his hand trembled a little while bringing the coffee over to Naomi, now seated at a table. Both he and Ken moved away towards the front of the café, Cole pouring a coffee for himself and for Ken on the way, hoping to stall for time and to gain control over the racing thoughts running rampant in his mind.

Ken “Sorry about Naomi Cole, she insisted on coming with me”

Cole “That’s okay, I just don’t know what it is you both think I can tell you”

Ken “Look, this isn’t easy but well, we have heard that during your time playing for Coach Sheppard, you were, well, everyone thought he favoured you a lot, there was talk by some that you and he were maybe too close, if you know what I mean”

Cole “Uh, no I am afraid I don’t Ken, look, are you trying to say that me and Coach Sheppard were, uh, were intimate?”

Ken “Your words Cole not mine, uh, were you?”

Cole “Fuck No, Jesus Ken, you know me, everyone around here knows me, you think I am that way?”

Ken “Is Rory gay Cole? Stephen?”

Cole “How the fuck should I know? Shit, what is this?”

Ken “I didn’t want this case, I argued with the Sheriff to not press this, even with Naomi, but they both insisted and the more I got into it, the more I realized just what kind of person Don Sheppard is, Cole he is a bastard, he preys on kids like Rory, like you when you where Rory’s age, he has to be stopped Cole”

Cole “Well then stop him, this has nothing to do with me Ken”

Ken “I think it does Cole, I think you were one of his special boys, I think in fact that you were one for a lot longer than any of the others, and that you can be the one piece, the one witness that can put that sick bastard away, that’s what I think”

Cole simply stared at Ken Sutter, wondering if he really did know anything or was he just guessing? He didn’t think anyone could know, not unless Coach Sheppard had spoken about it, but then there were the pictures, but again, only Coach had those, so unless Ken had found them, but then if he had he would be showing them to him, getting him to admit to them, but he wasn’t doing that, so he couldn’t have found them. He doubted if he ever would, Coach Sheppard was a damn sight smarter than to leave them around, or at least Cole prayed he was.

Cole “Yeah well you need to rethink then, I can’t help you Ken”

Ken “You are afraid, I can understand that, Christ man, I see what they are doing to Stephen, and he’s only 15, I can only imagine what they’ll do to Rory, unless I can find an adult, someone that people know, someone that people don’t have a grudge against like they do Naomi, you are that person Cole, you can make them all sit up and face what they don’t want to”

He had toyed with the notion of going to Ken or to the Sheriff or even to Naomi when this had first started, even this morning after he had left the courthouse he had toyed with the idea of coming forward, but for what purpose? Nothing he said would help, people would still blame Naomi and curse her boys, only now they’d add his name to the list and so much for ever being able to come back here. Okay, at the time he hadn’t known about Keith’s proposal, and what about that proposal? How could he leave to live with Keith if his face and name was plastered all over the papers? The case had already made the papers down in San Diego, how would that go over for Keith if suddenly the guy he shows up with is a key witness against a town hero and town father? No, he couldn’t take the risk, not for anyone, not even the two boys. The thought of them twisted his insides, made the acid rise up in his throat as he stared at Ken’s face, seeing his eyes boring into his own.

Cole “Shit Ken, you make me sound like some town hero, I am just the cook at the diner, most people only know me from here, or from my folks, and they won’t see Don Sheppard any differently no matter who you get to testify against him, unless it was Mark Kessler himself, he might be the only one they’d notice”

Ken “Mark? What about him? Was he one of Coach Sheppard’s special boys too?”

Cole “Jesus Ken, I didn’t say that, I said he’d be the type you would need to turn people’s attitude around, Christ you lawyers, is that all you think about, winning? There is no friggin way that I’d testify, even if what you said was true, which it isn’t, but I have seen how they are, they aren’t about to listen to anyone who has something bad to say about Coach Sheppard, there just isn’t anyone they respect more”

Ken “Doesn’t it bother you Cole? How can you let him get away with this? You know that if he wins he will only continue molesting a whole new generation? Don’t you care about that?”

Cole “Of course it does, no adult should lay a hand on a kid, least not that way, but I can’t do anything about this, I mean, shit Ken, I was not his special boy like you think, I am sorry”

Ken “Cole, please, without your help Naomi and her boys will be forever tormented and taunted, you can’t sit there and let that happen, can you?”

Cole “I told you, I don’t have any special knowledge of what you are asking, I am sorry Ken, I like Naomi, I think her boys are polite and friendly enough, but there is nothing I can do”

Ken “Nothing?”

Cole “No, nothing”

Ken “So, all those private lessons you got, all those camping trips you and Coach Sheppard took, nothing ever happened between you?”

The casual way that Ken had let it out, the soft voice all were by design as his heart continued to pound loudly in his chest. For a mere instant he felt the panic seizing him, felt his eyes suddenly widen but his mind quickly took charge, stilling the wildly beating heart so it was no longer ringing in his ears. His eyes grew back to normal but as he looked at Ken, he knew, he could tell that Ken had spotted the sudden swift change. His eyelashes fluttered a little as he took a sip from his coffee, taking time to collect his thoughts, knowing he was treading on thin ice, unwilling to risk his whole future just to give Ken Sutter a victory.

Cole “Camping trips? How did you… I mean, no, nothing ever happened”

Ken “Nothing? From what I understand you and the Coach took quite a few trips, just what did you two do then?”

Cole “What do you think we did? Shit, we fished, he told stories at night, we walked in the woods, I talked about school, what else do you do on a camping trip? Christ he was like a father to me Ken, he took pity on me, so now you think it was something dirty?”

Ken “I didn’t say that Cole, but if he touched you, if he did anything like that, well yes then it was wrong, it was dirty, it doesn’t mean it made you any different, but it was wrong”

Cole “Look, all we did was go fishing, talk about stuff, sit in front of the fireplace, tell stories, that was it”

Ken “Fireplace? You mean campfire don’t you?”

Cole “No, we usually went up to the cabin he had or maybe it wasn’t his cabin, I think he said it belonged to a friend or something once, its about 3 or 4 miles off the main trail by prospect peak, where the river forks off into two, one heads towards spirit lake, the other comes down towards mosshead”

Ken “A cabin? You and he went to a cabin?”

Cole saw the way Ken’s eyes were suddenly twinkling, bright like stars and yet he couldn’t quite figure out why. It was as if some secret had suddenly been exposed and for the life of him he didn’t know what, as he tried to figure it out, fearful that he might give himself away but he was certain he hadn’t. Everyone went fishing with the coach, least lots did that he knew about and so why was Ken making a big deal about the cabin?

Cole “Isn’t that what I just said”

Ken “Was it a big cabin? How many rooms?”

Cole “Shit, I don’t know, let me think, there was the main room, kitchen, two bedrooms, bunk beds I think”

Ken “That was were you mostly went? I mean it wasn’t just once or twice, but when you went camping with him, it was to the cabin?”

Cole “Yeah, think we only slept out in a tent couple of times, but there was nothing funny about it Ken, I told you, nothing”

Ken “Yeah, well I don’t think you are telling me the truth about that Cole, guess in some ways I can understand, still…”

Cole “Yeah well I can’t help what you think, look, I have a visitor in from town, and we are closed, so unless there is anything else?”

Ken “Cole, I really hope you will take time to think about this, those boys, they haven’t much Cole, without your help they have nothing, think about that Cole”

Cole “Hey look, I told you and I will tell you one more time, I can’t help you, I am sorry for the boys Ken, but don’t blame me for your inability to protect them, for you inability to put away a creep like Don Sheppard, that is not my fault, okay?”

Ken “I suppose so Cole, except I can’t do my job if people don’t come forward, so I may not have wanted to take this case on, but once I did, I am giving it my all, so if I fail it wont be because I d