Chapter 36

Part 1

It wasn’t like he had never been in a Church before but this was different for him in a lot of ways. He couldn’t explain it really and in some ways he felt uneasy and yet in another strange way he felt comforted, like there was something here that just made him feel at ease, relaxed. The building wasn’t any different than his own church and he had quickly swept up the small shards of glass and had them in a neat pile. The thing that got him was that the place seemed so peaceful, even the sounds of the street outside didn’t seem to come crashing in on him, almost as if it too were muted by the strange atmosphere inside.

The lights the Rabbi had turned on for him weren’t all that brilliant and yet they didn’t seem to cast any weird shadows either, which was kind of strange. He figured for sure he’d be freaking just a little at being in such a place as this, all alone, but the exact opposite was true. He had taken the time to look around, to see the simple chairs at the back; the simple wooden benches that could have been in any church and even the more fancy chairs at the front didn’t quite seem out of place. He smiled at that, knowing that in his own church the front pews were slightly better in quality than the rest and that they were always reserved for the special members of the congregation, the ones who mostly handled all of the church’s business or something like that. It was kind of nice to see the same thing here too.

Robbie walked slowly around the outer perimeter of the main seating area, as if he were delaying something, as if maybe there was someone else here but the officer who had stayed was waiting outside, standing or perhaps sitting on the front steps. Funny how he hadn’t wanted to wait inside but then there was no accounting for what a cop thought. He had had a few run ins with them when on the team but the coach had always sorted that out for him, too bad he hadn’t sorted out other things as well; and, for a moment or two, Robbie’s face became clouded and his anger and disappointment rose up inside of him, but just when it was nearing the point of overwhelming him, he began to think of Josh and he could feel that tingling coming with each second that he thought of Josh.

He still couldn’t quite accept or believe really that Josh hadn’t run from him after he had told him everything, but then she had said he wouldn’t and she was right. God, she was something else, such an amazing woman and he slowly walked up to the front of the synagogue, standing by the three steps that led up to the pulpit. A simple black iron railing was on either side of the steps and he slowly lowered himself down to rest his back against the railing to his right, his long lanky legs stretched out as he sat on the second step and finally looked up at the stage.

It was different in that there were two speaker platforms, one on either side plus a large centre platform. Behind the centre platform was a large wooden case against the wall and on either side of it stood three rather ornate chairs. He wondered what it was for and his eyes searched for some sort of sign. The centre platform had a rather plain white clothe over it, almost like something you’d put on a dining room table and yet it had some symbols around the parts that hung down. He could see the Star shape image, and he knew that was the Star of David, but it also had some weird writings too and a sort of scroll image interlaced between them.

The more he stared at it the more he was able to see that all of the shapes and writings were embroidered into the cloth itself. He had seen cloths like that before, they had one at home actually that was from his grandmother. She had done stuff like that and had given them one but they rarely used it. Last time he had seen it was Thanksgiving a long time ago, and as he thought about that, he wished she had lived a bit longer. Maybe if she had, he could have talked to her instead of doing what he had, but then that was just wishful thinking. He knew in his heart he wouldn’t have talked to her about it, even if she had been alive.

He saw that in the front of the centre table and also on the two other speaker platforms a large candlestick was neatly carved and raised upwards from them all. He wondered what they meant and he could see that each one was slightly different, as if they had been done by hand. Funny how he noticed that, but then he remembered an earlier time, a time when as a young boy he had spent time at his grandparents place, back in the garage where his grandpa would do some strange and wonderful things out of wood. The old man had a real talent for that, making things out of wood, and he never had all those fancy machines either. Sure he had a lathe and stuff but he had a whole wall of strange tools that he would use to make the most amazing patterns or edges on the pieces of wood he had there.

Robbie’s head rested on the simple railing and he could remember a small wooden box that he still had, it was back in the apartment on the dresser and he could see it now. It was a gift from his grandfather, a beautiful piece of wood with some simple but elegant symbols on it. There was a basketball hoop with a young boy tossing a ball in the air engraved along the top and under it was his name, etched in a fancy script and all of it was part of one piece of wood. His grandfather had given it to him the day he had made his junior high basketball team and he could see his face then, the way he had been so happy with the simple gift.

He could see the box now, almost as if it were there in front of him and he saw how each edge was so smooth, how each carved letter or line was perfectly aligned, smooth to the touch. The lid was fastened by a simple bronze hinge and inside the box his grandfather had carved out some small little corners for cuff links and stuff on one side, right from out of the wood. No added pieces and on the inside of the lid was a small oblong strip of metal. Etched in it was his name and under that was his birthday. On either side of the metal tag were two small photographs, one of his grandmother and the other of his grandfather with their names neatly carved underneath.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he once more saw that box, one he had rarely opened in the last year but one he would never forget. His hand twitched as he could see the contents of his box, see the few trinkets he had collected since then, a ribbon for some forgotten school prize, a pair of cuff links that his mother had given him for his junior high prom, a tie clip that his father had given him; and then the tears began to roll down as his face as he saw the photographs that he kept inside.

He saw his own face mugging for the camera, another of him sticking his tongue out next to the face of a young smiling boy, and his heart suddenly cried out, aching for Justin as he remembered that day when that particular picture had been taken. His heart felt so empty and so torn that he sobbed a little, the sound muted somehow by the vast chamber. His body grew a bit cold as he saw other pictures too, and there was one of a sad faced young boy, not him or Justin but one he knew very well. He could see the eyes now, they were filled with pain and sadness and he knew too that it was the last picture taken before the end. He felt the pain once more, felt the hopelessness of it all as he sat there and now the tears were falling from his face, dripping down from his cheeks to fall between his legs onto the threadbare blue carpet. He sobbed again as his body trembled with the memories of his loss then, and once more he saw that face peering up at him, but it wasn’t just the one face, and he cried a bit louder now as he saw Justin’s own face mixing with that of his friend. He could see the eyes meeting in front of him, both sets becoming one as both held the pain of their own secrets, secrets that they shared with him and which had been buried with their own young shortened lives.

‘How could you?’ he cried out, his voice filled with sorrow and anger and he sat there shaking, listening to the echo of his anguished cry reverberating in the still empty chapel of the synagogue. ‘How could you?’ once more came from his lips and bounced along the quiet walls and empty pews until they came to the plain wooden doors. His heart beat faster as he felt the sudden breeze of a warm breath against his face and he lifted his head up from between his legs to stare up at the far end of the stage. His tears clouded his eyes and his heart thundered from the pain he felt inside and yet he was drawn to the plain wooden doors, almost as if something were calling to him.

The room seemed darker around him and lighter up on the stage and yet he didn’t feel like anything had changed, as the pain of his loss seemed to overwhelm him. He missed Justin but the loss of his friend too came back to him, once more haunting him as he tried to think of what he could have done that would have made a difference. Wondering if he could only have had the courage to talk to that lady, to tell her what he knew, maybe then things wouldn’t have gone the way they did, but he hadn’t, he had been too scared, to afraid of having his secret exposed along with Cory’s secret. Maybe, if he hadn’t been such a coward, Cory wouldn’t have gone to that roof, maybe he wouldn’t have done what he had. And the guilt grew inside of him as he sat there, his face still being drawn to the plain wooden doors up on the stage.

He had failed everyone he ever cared for, he knew that as he sat there and he felt the guilt wrapping around him as he stared blankly now towards the stage. The pain was ripping into his very soul and the guilt held him powerless before the pain. He had failed, that was the truth and the facts of it all, and even now he had failed those who had only shown him love. It was because of him that a man and his family were now in the grip of an evil terror that should never have been allowed to happen and all because of him. He would have been better off dead, nothing else would suffice as he broke the gaze towards the stage and glanced down at his two hands. He saw the ugly angry red scars that held his torn flesh together and he sighed, knowing that his life had been nothing but a mistake, a screw up by someone who was supposed to be all powerful, all knowing but who wasn’t. If He were so great, how could He have let him live? How could He have let him continue to hurt those who mattered the most, who were better persons than he was? No, God wasn’t all-powerful, all perfect and he felt the emptiness growing as he finally looked back towards the wooden doors.

Fear suddenly clutched as his heart as he felt a strong warm breeze begin to swirl around his trembling body, and his eyes were filled with his sorrow; and yet somehow he seemed to see the soft golden rays of a light from in front of him. He reached up to rub his eyes, to clear them of the fog of his tears, but they wouldn’t clear; the tears wouldn’t stop coming and yet he could see the light, not an overpowering light nor one that was brilliant in colour either, but it came through the fog he had in his eyes and it frightened him as his wrists began to ache, the pain stabbing into his heart and making it quiver from the unbelievable intensity.

His face was still looking ahead as he tried to crawl away, to move his body backwards but he seemed frozen in place, his limbs refusing to answer his mind’s command and now he could see weird shapes in front and panic reached for him but the swirling warm air kept the panic at bay, letting him know it was there but not letting it take hold of his bleeding heart. The pain was real, it struck at him in every part of his body and he could feel himself shaking and yet his eyes held fast to the soft, piercing, golden light in front of him, no longer able to shift his gaze from the apparitions that were slowly forming before him.

He had to be going insane, there was no other explanation for it as he now could hear a strange babble of voices too and panic still reached for him, still tried to guide his mind but something stronger was holding him still, was controlling his every movement, unwilling to let him fall prey once more to the dark side of his thoughts. It was a battle within that was ripping into him, that was making his pain only grow and yet he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t escape to that far off dark void that he had sought so desperately not long ago.

There was her voice whispering softly into his ear, telling him in her own unique voice that it was all okay, that he had nothing to fear anymore; and then he could feel Josh’s heart beating next to his own, the strong steady beat helping to calm him, to ease the burden he carried in his own beating heart. Then there was the soft warm touch of his brother’s hand now, resting lightly on his shoulder, as his face was snuggled into his chest, his face buried deep into his flesh as he silently slept at peace. There were the strong hands of the Rabbi gently holding his torn and bleeding wrists, understanding and love flowing from his touch into his troubled soul; and there, too, was also the strange hesitant breath against his cheek from Josh’s brother, uncertainty in his face but determination that he try to understand all that Robbie had gone through.

Everything was suddenly crowding into his line of sight and he could actually feel each word, feel each touch, feel each caress as his body shook to the powerful winds that seemed to be blowing around his very body. Nothing in the synagogue was moving, the cloth on the centre table stood still and yet Robbie knew that something was blowing around him, something was bringing all this to him and his eyes began to clear a little, the tears still rolling unimpeded from them but they were no longer milky with self doubt and self recriminations; instead, they were clear with the certainty that he was not alone.

‘None of my children ever walk alone, for I am always with them, in their heart and in their souls and in their spirit, all you need do is open your eyes and see, for wherever you look there I will be, at your side for as long as you are, I am your Father and no matter your folly, you are always my child’

The voice was soft and gentle as it gently spoke deep within his very soul and he cried now, his head buried deep into his hands as he let the kind words of love boil up within and reach his bleeding heart. He felt the power of the words as they crept slowly into his veins, flowing gently and with ease through his whole body, easing the pain and grief that he had buried within. His guilt was soothed and lightened as he let the words gently cascade into his troubled spirit and the tears rolled unceasingly down his face and through his fingers to fall on the faded carpet.

A warm gentle touch on his shoulder made him quiver as he felt the calloused hand reach for his face, gently lifting it up from between his hands and despite the roughness of the skin, he could feel nothing but a gentleness that eased his suffering and lessened his sorrow. His eyes were carefully wiped by a loving finger that cleared his vision, and he saw a smiling face before him, and his heart thundered as he saw Cory, the eyes no longer sad but filled with laughter and joy and next to his prancing young body stood his own brother. Justin was beaming as he too ran and played among a pure field of brilliant colours. He could see the happiness on his face and more than that he could see the joy in his eyes that were no longer masking any hidden secrets.

Robbie watched in awe as he saw the two boys frolicking among a field of flowers that were of all kinds of shapes and amazing colours. His heart grew calmer as he saw that there was no pain in their faces, no hidden secrets to hold them back from enjoying the pure pleasure of just running through the flowers. His soul laughed as he watched Justin do a cartwheel, a sort of spiral that was not perfect but was that of a young boy just having fun. His eyes glistened as he saw Cory running around a tall sturdy tree, his eyes glaring upwards as he pondered how to climb it and then he saw a tall powerful figure standing next to Cory, his long beard glowed a brilliant white and yet his eyes sparkled brighter than any star he could imagine. He watched with amazement as the older man reached down with his hands, and in one effortless motion he had picked Cory up from the ground and held him high up in the air, to the point where Cory’s own arms could easily reach the branch that had towered above him before.

His eyes saw Cory grab hold and scamper up the tree, the older man with the long flowing mane of white hair and beard leaning back and watching, his head thrown back and Robbie could see him laughing, see the wrinkles across his face eased as his body shook to his laughter and to his joy at the sight of young Cory climbing higher and higher. It was always Cory’s favourite game, to see how high he could climb a tree and there he was, racing up the strong tall tree that seemed to go on forever and Robbie knew that it was Cory’s tree, that it was where he was happiest and he smiled now, seeing his friend no longer in pain, no longer hiding.

The strange winds that he had felt swirling around him were calm now, they no longer blew like a hurricane across his face and he glanced away from the flowers to stare outwards, to see the small light that seemed to be coming from behind the closed wooden doors. Before he knew it he was standing and walking carefully up and towards those closed wooden doors. He had no idea how or why he was doing it, but he knew he had to as he finally stood there now, standing tall and erect as he once used to, and in front of him were two very old wooden doors. He saw the Star etched across one door, and then a strange single symbol was etched on the other door.

Robbie saw his right hand moving out from his side and he felt the warmth suddenly grow hotter as his fingers lightly touched that strange symbol. He could feel the wood it seemed; feel each single stroke of the carpenters tool that had carved it deep into the wood itself. His body tingled and once more he could feel Josh’s heart beating slowly next to his own as his finger traced the weird symbol all along its various paths along the door. The pain in his wrist suddenly throbbed and it felt for a brief instant that his hand would simply fall off his arm and then nothing, the pain was suddenly gone from him and he stared at the wrist, the angry red scar no longer looking so horrible, no longer taunting him with his failure and he shook a bit as his hand slowly fell back to rest at his side. His eyes continued to stare at the hand and then he felt once more the calloused hand lightly running across his cheek and with one gentle tug he felt his head turn from staring at his hand to gazing once more at the wooden doors.

His other hand now moved up and his fingers began to trace the carved edges of the simple six-sided star. A strange sense of calm, of peace came to him and then he felt a surge inside, a sense of power that began deep in his soul and his eyes shone briefly and then his heart began to beat strong and steady. His body shook as his muscles began to twist and coil within and as his face watched his hand, he felt the power growing inside of him. Robbie could feel the stabbing pain of Josh’s entry into his body and he could feel the way his body had tried to block that first thrust, and then he felt the way his muscles suddenly ceased to struggle, granting Josh entry to his very soul and as he felt that long forceful thrust, he felt his own strength returning once more to his soul and to his heart. He no longer felt afraid of tomorrow as his body stood there, his hand gently passing across the worn old carving in the doors.

The doors suddenly reflected a flashing glimmer of blue and in that second he could see his eyes reflected against the sheen of the door. He saw the power of his own soul in that instant and he could feel the power now, feel it as it surged through his whole body, refilling him with its strength, and as it once more filled his body he could feel his panic slinking away into the darkness of what once was but was no more. He felt the power being joined by another power and as his face stared ahead, he could see the images of a family forming behind him, and in the glow of his eyes he saw Josh standing to his right, Joel to his left and behind them stood Adele and Abner. He felt it now and slowly his left hand fell back to rest at his side as his head tilted upwards and his legs slowly buckled, his body gently lowering itself to rest on his knees.

There he knelt, his head tilted back and staring up at the two plain doors, his body no longer feeling tortured and bloodied by life, and within his spirit there now rested hope for tomorrow, as he no longer stood there alone. He couldn’t even begin to explain what he was feeling or what was happening to him as he kneeled there, but he knew that tomorrow would come for him and that in itself was enough for now, even though deep in his soul he now knew that tomorrow was only a beginning of something new and wonderful. His body no longer trembled from fear but from excitement as his spirit dared to dream and dared to hope for more, and as his eyes shone with the joy of life, he felt the spirit filling him with a promise he had always known but had lost sight of. He knew that what he was feeling now was real, that this time he would never lose track of it and that no matter what, his journey wasn’t just his alone to travel.

‘Thank you’ he said softly as his body slowly cooled, as the room once more grew silent. His head still stared upwards and he could have sworn he felt a soft kiss brush his brow as he kneeled there, grateful for the love that had finally won through all of his pain and guilt. Tears slowly began to stop flowing as he just rested there, filled with a sense of calm that he hadn’t felt since he was a mere toddler. A thin smile was on his face as finally he stood up or appeared to, when he realized that he was back at the railing, that his journey forward had been a dream or maybe just some trick of his tired mind but then he glanced down at his hands, saw the scars on each wrist and he knew it had been no dream, no phantom hallucination or wistful thought but that it had indeed been real.

Robbie turned as he heard the opening of the front door and he thought that maybe the Rabbi had returned, but, as he twisted around, he saw another man entering the chapel, the policeman now standing by the front doors. He waited a second as the man came further into the room before he moved a step down from the stage.

Robbie “Yes? Can I help you?”

The man stopped in his tracks as he stared into the empty chamber. His face looked confused for a minute or two as he stared at Robbie, unsure of what to say or do. For a minute he turned and glanced back at the two closed doors of the building, as if he were considering summoning the officer who had let him inside and then thinking differently about it. He walked in a few more paces before speaking and Robbie waited, as he saw the man realize who he was.

“You aren’t Josh, the Rabbi’s son!”

Robbie “No, I am not.”

“Mien Gotte, you are him!”

Robbie “Excuse me?”

“I am sorry, excuse me, the officer said you were Josh, the Rabbi’s son, where is the Rabbi?”

Robbie “He’s at the police station.”

“I see, uh, you are him, aren’t you? The one they were talking about in the news…”

Strange but he didn’t feel ashamed anymore, at being ‘him’ or ‘that one’ and he smiled a little, knowing that the man didn’t mean anything by it anyhow. Funny, but he felt so at ease, so secure that he felt a bit amazed by it; then he stole a quick glance backwards, to look at the plain wooden doors on the tall case back against the wall and he knew that it was indeed no dream.

Robbie “I am afraid so, I am Robbie, you are?”

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that, guess I am a bit surprised is all. Oh, my manners, comes from being up so late I suppose, I am Saul, the temple President. I thought the Rabbi might need some help so I…”

Robbie “I think we have everything under control, the police found some wood and nailed it up for us before we got here, and I cleaned up the glass. Uh, can you show me where the garbage is maybe? I can put the broken pieces there but I didn’t know where it was.”

He didn’t look any different than any other young teenager and suddenly Saul felt himself scolding his own mind(omit-,) for thinking that the boy would look different. It was like he had expected some swishy-looking, effeminate being even though he had seen him on television, but it was how his mind had thought and standing here, he felt the shame for thinking such thoughts. The boy had come with the Rabbi, and that was something too, because it was what a menche would do. He studied Robbie for a second or two, seeing something he hadn’t seen on the television. There was a strange calm to him, a sense of strength too, that surprised him and yet given all that had happened, maybe it wasn’t surprising but more of a miracle. He certainly didn’t look like someone who could commit suicide and yet he knew he had tried, but there maybe was more to this than he knew?

Saul “We put them in the back at night, through those doors there. Uh, let me go get one for you, it won’t take me long.”

Robbie “No that’s okay, I can get it now that I know where they are.”

Saul “Uh, well, how about we both go?”

Robbie “Okay, guess it can feel kind of spooky being here at night alone.”

Saul “Spooky? No, not really, more… well more relaxing and soothing actually, least it has been for me.”

Robbie “Really? Strange, but that’s how I feel too; never been inside a Jewish church before, you call it a shul, right?”

Saul “Yes, it’s a slang term, synagogue I suppose is the more accepted term, uh…”

Robbie “It’s okay, I heard the Rabbi say that word a few times at home.”

Saul “At home? At the Rabbi’s home?”

Robbie “Yes, I am staying there for now.”

Saul “I see, uh… well good, Adele is a very good cook, you won’t starve at least.”

Robbie “I know, we had some pastry thing, not sure what it was. She called it ‘strudel’ I think, it really was good.”

He felt a bit confused and befuddled talking to Robbie and yet he had to admit, the boy was polite enough and it was a surprise to realize that Robbie really was living at the Rabbi’s; but then again, why should it surprise him? Somehow, deep inside, he knew that the Rabbi would do just that, and he also knew that Sam would not take kindly to that. But then a rare thought crossed his mind, a thought that to say the least was dangerous for a quiet man like himself. In short, ‘so what if Sam didn’t like it’ because really, it wasn’t any of Sam’s business nor the boards really, and perhaps more than that, it was maybe what the Rabbi should do, not because this goyish boy was mixed up with the Rabbi’s eldest, but simply because it was the right thing to do for someone who was in trouble, in need.

Saul glanced over at the Ark and felt a little hitch in his heart just as he always did when looking at the old wooden case that held the precious Torahs, the books of his religion, their Bible. Strange, there had been a growing sense among the board to try and replace the old Ark, led naturally by Sam who said it wasn’t fitting anymore given all the renovations that they were doing and the Rabbi had objected to it, saying that the Ark wasn’t meant to be an ornament, that it was the simple house where the Lords words would rest as they were meant to be. He smiled at that recollection, remembering how it had pissed Sam off and now, as he looked once more at them, he realized how true the Rabbi’s words had been. God’s words didn’t need a fancy shmancy case, it was fine just the way it was. As he signalled for Robbie to follow him, he started down the aisle towards the back doors, a strange glint in his eyes and a strange warmth in his heart, as he realized that Sam’s plan for tonight wasn’t going to go exactly as Sam had hoped for.

Part 2

The cruiser pulled into the driveway and then down the ramp to go into the reserved parking area. The rabbi saw several police motorcycles and many unmarked cars as well and he realized that this was where the men in uniform parked as well. Strange he had never thought about that and yet as he watched the cars go by and all, he realized just how much Victoria wasn’t a small town like it appeared to be. A large truck stood off to one side and the Rabbi felt uneasy, seeing the lettering on it and knowing that it was a special truck for the police, one that would be used in the event of terrorism or some other horrible nightmare that seemed to be threatening people all over. Funny though, he had never thought of Victoria as being a place that those hooligans would target and yet in his heart he knew that no place was truly immune from the evil in the world. Suddenly he felt his age as the car stopped by two large doors and he climbed out slowly, feeling rather tired and yet also apprehensive. There was a strange inkling in his heart and he wished for a moment that she was here but as the officer held open the door for him, he smiled knowing that as long as he looked in the right place within, she would always be there with him.

Buoyed by the knowledge that he was not alone, the Rabbi followed the police officer with a slightly easier heart than when he had first climbed into the cruiser. He walked along the hallways and then crossed a long aisle that overlooked the front of the building. He could see through the tall glass windows the front waiting area and he stopped for a moment, recognizing the man who was talking to a seated woman. To the other side he saw another man, talking to the officer at the front desk and he felt the chill once more in his bones, knowing that out there were once more aligned the forces of evil. He couldn’t help it, but after watching the hatchet job that the news people had done, he was certain they were in league with the devil, if one believed in such things and as much as he would like to think differently, he did believe that evil existed, just not in the same sense that most Christians did. Staring out at the man talking to the frightened looking woman he knew that he had been right, that round two of their battle with darkness was upon him and his family. He sighed a little, feeling a bit overwhelmed by it, but then he could hear her voice(omit-,) telling him to be careful, telling him to keep warm and promising him food. Why did Jewish mothers always rely on that he wondered as he continued towards the elevators? What was it about them that made them push food whenever trouble was afoot? Maybe some study should be done by a university or something, it would be interesting to see what kind of answers they’d come up with.

Margaret Sinclair

She sat at the desk, glancing over the preliminary report from the officers who had come across the vandalism first and she stared at the hastily typed report, wishing that policemen would be given a course on writing. It was one thing to learn how to shoot, but given how much time each officer fired their weapon versus how much time they spent in a courtroom explaining their actions, some weight should be given to preparing them in telling their side of the story. Guns might save their lives, training in self defence might get them out of danger even, but what good was any of that if the damn criminals kept getting off simply because the officer couldn’t elucidate what had gone on that caused him to arrest the scum?

Her red hair was a mess and she must look the like the ‘dragon’ that everyone called her behind her back but then being woken up in the middle of the night took its toll on anyone. She felt the tiredness behind her eyes and pushed her glasses up a little to try and rub away the sleep that kept threatening to envelop her, feeling her age at the same time as she struggled to wonder what she had here, what kind of case this would be?

It had taken her a long time to climb the ladder of success to where she was considered a shoo in for the deputy to the AG himself, but it hadn’t been an easy ladder to climb. She had to constantly try harder, argue harder, and even lie harder to get where she was simply because she was a female in a male dominated world. Now though she was one of the boys, accepted in all of their private clubs and yet, sitting here now, she could still feel that hesitancy, that reluctance that men seemed to have in still discussing things they believed were their domain. How silly they were she thought, as she contemplated the case, seeing it as possibly that final piece of the puzzle that she’d need to rise up that ladder, to finally take her rightful place in what was still a man’s world despite all the hype and crap that spewed forth about equal rights, equal opportunity for people no matter gender.

Personally she had thought that Debbie Winston and Child Services had over reacted to the Fisher case and had been premature in going after the television people; but now, now she could see how it could benefit her in this particular case, and perhaps if she handled it right, if she could manipulate it properly, how this case could give her finally the status she felt she deserved. A thin smile crossed her lips as she read the arresting officer’s statement of the initial reaction to the perp’s explanations. It fit and she could see that if the synagogue had any good lawyers how this could really turn into a very damning case for the media. Her feeling of good will only improved, as she knew that it was stupid to think that a Jewish church would have anything less than the best; after all, they were Jews, they always had lawyers and doctors around, it was part of their natural order.

Thanks to Child Services and their haste to go after the television station, she knew she had a pretty cut and dried case of a hate crime here, one acerbated by the media which would play well in front of any Jury. The boy was a jock, a high school athlete and so given privilege status. The attack was against Jews and, if she played it right, was against Queers. This was the ideal mix for getting a conviction and she could see the headlines it would attract, not just locally but nationally too. It would get her noticed and she knew that a federal election was coming in a few years, wouldn’t hurt her chances any if she could have something as high profile as this under her belt, and staring at the report, she knew that it would be a simple walk in the park to nail the little delinquent to the wall. He would do time and it would set precedent too, that she wasn’t soft on juvenile crime, a rising concern among the public.

Margaret leaned back in the chair, tossing the file back on the desk and taking her glasses off. She suddenly didn’t feel all that tired anymore, instead she felt rather energized as she began to already plot her opening statements, knowing that the kids family would fight this one, that no plea agreements would exist as might normally happen. Her eyes glimmered with the prospect as she turned towards the detective on the case.

Margaret “Is there someone from the synagogue on the way yet?”

Detective “Yes ma’am, it is the Rabbi I believe.”

Margaret “Oh? Excellent! Well get these papers typed up and you can start the paperwork, you can make the formal charge papers out for violation under the hate crime statutes.”

Detective “Uh, you sure? I mean he is just a kid, I don’t really…”

Margaret “Detective, I didn’t get up in the middle of the blasted night to argue with you, you called me for a decision, I have given it to you, kindly see to it.”

Detective “Yes Ma’am, but…”

Margaret “No ‘buts’ detective, there is no room in this society for this type of contact, no matter how young the perpetrator might be. It was done out of hate, hell the kid himself said as much, and that is good enough for me. Now please attend to the proper paperwork and let me know when the Rabbi arrives. I want to make sure that he understands that the Crown is going to do all in its power to bring to justice not only this young thug, but also his partners in this heinous action. Is that clear?”

For a second he thought about arguing with her, but the look in her eyes and the way she looked told him it would be no use. He walked away to begin the process knowing in his heart that in many ways she was right, there wasn’t any room for hate but there were circumstances. Christ, the boy was only acting out his anger, his loss of a close friend and who was to say that any of them wouldn’t have done much the same? If anyone should be charged maybe it should be the press for the way they had presented the story. They had made it look like his department was covering up something for the two Jewish boys who had found Justin Fisher, but he knew it wasn’t like that at all. God, what was it about people today, always trying to blame someone for something, when 9 out of 10 times the fault lay within their own actions, their own deeds?

She watched the detective walking away, his head slightly bent and she smiled to herself. He was a good detective, his record told her that and despite his years on the force he could still feel for the criminals he arrested, which said a lot; but there was no room for sympathy here, this wasn’t about feeling sorry, about cutting some kid a break simply because he was a jock or had been led astray by some stupid news report. He should have known better and if he didn’t, well that was just too bad because justice was blind for a reason. The law was the law and this time perhaps the law could be applied and all those bleeding heart liberals would see that the system did work. Hell, it just might help end some of the hate; but, even as she thought the noble thought, she knew inside that it was really just a pile of crap. People weren’t about to stop hating, especially if it involved Jews, because she prosecuted some stupid high school athlete. People would change when they had no choice, not one second before; so why shouldn’t she use the circumstances to improve her own position?

The idea of taking over from Sy was an appealing thought but more than that, there was an upcoming federal election and the local MP was supposedly retiring before then, maybe if she played her cards right on this she could get the Liberal Party nomination and become an MP? Hell, that was really where the power lay, not in following some stupid procedure or policy that some dolt thought of. The whole juvenile justice system was a joke in her opinion, and she knew others felt like that and maybe, just maybe this case could get her into a real position of power, where she could affect the real changes needed to protect society? The more she thought about it the more she liked her chances and Neil Schellenberg had given her the perfect forum from which to finally launch her drive to becoming a force in the justice system. At worst she could take over Sy’s job, advising the AG himself, at best she could parlay this into a career in politics. Margaret leaned back in the chair, no longer feeling tired or weary but energized as she daydreamed about more than just being an MP.

Debbie Winston

She had parked her car in the reserved area that Child Service had within the police parking compound, a little overwhelmed by the new status that the new police station had given people in her department. Normally she’d have to scrounge for on street parking and then go through the front reception area or worse, walk through the old, dark parking structure for the ‘personnel’ entrance. Now it was all much more convenient and as she headed towards the doors, she saw an older man being helped out of a cruiser. She immediately recognized him as Rabbi Goldberg and guessed he was here to formally sign the complaint papers that such a crime required. Her heart ached a little for the man as she watched him move in a slow steady gait but as she watched she felt a little in awe of him.

He really didn’t look like much; just a sort of grandfatherly type who you would never think could do what he was doing. She had seen something in him when he had duelled with that creep, Gordie, on the television and she certainly was going to be interested in seeing what was going to be public opinion if VI News really did air the full interview. Man that would certainly knock old CH News on their ears and for her money, they deserved it. Still, to think that this nondescript man had not only held his own but had given it back in such a way, that well it was still hard to fathom. He just didn’t look like the type but then, maybe that was just it, maybe it was that anyone had that potential, it was perhaps just that some seized it when called upon while others had run?

The guilt she felt about her job rose up again and she wondered what it would have felt like to stand up way back then? Would she be feeling this nervous now or would she even still be here as a social worker? One thing was certain, at least this time around she wasn’t going to back down from those who thought they knew what was best. This time, the child would get her best and if that meant crossing the powers, then so be it.

Debbie straightened up and walked in, her face set as she came to the front desk and informed the officer on duty who she was and why she was here. He looked a little angry too, and her glance to the front area only added to her resolve. She could see Walt Fisher standing there next to a weeping woman and next to them both was a rather handsome young man who she recognized as being a CH reporter. So, they were already onto this, she thought as she told Sergeant Burns that she wanted to see the detectives in charge but first that she needed to see the juvenile. She also requested the charge sheet to get the particulars.

Her trained eye noticed that the charge had been written over an erased entry, and squinting a little she could see that originally Neil Schellenberg had been listed as being charged with ‘simple vandalism of private property’ but now it read, ‘hate crime’ and a small notation to the right showing that the case was to be transferred to adult court. She sucked in her breath as she realized that whoever was in charge from the Crown was going to use this boy as an example. She shivered a little because without knowing any facts, a young boy’s life had just been set down for ruination.

Debbie “Who ordered these initial charges?”

Sergeant Burns “The Crown, who else?”

Debbie “The Crown? They have someone here?”

Burns “Yeah, the detectives called for clarification and so they sent Sinclair down.”

Debbie “Margaret Sinclair? She’s here?”

Burns “Yeah, it doesn’t seem right, he’s only a kid ya know.”

The way he spoke, it was like he wished he could just let the kid go and she wondered if Margaret realized the emotions that were at play in this whole case? She hadn’t met the boy ye,t but somehow she figured he’d be a typical type kid, maybe tall and handsome, and personable too. It would be a tough nut to get a jury to convict your all around teenage athlete unless you had some pretty good evidence, and she looked at the brief summary of arrest, noting that there really wasn’t much there.

Debbie “Well, he is 16, still, it does seem a bit excessive for a prelim, she still here?”

Burns “Yeah, she wants to personally assure that Rabbi of theirs that everything is going to done, so the detectives said.”

Her heart ached a little as she realized that if the Rabbi and his Jewish congregation pushed it, Neil most likely wouldn’t stand a chance. He would be convicted in adult court, most likely draw jail time too, but maybe the Judge would keep that down to a minimum and maybe, if Neil were very lucky, he’d only have to serve it in a juvenile facility, at least one could hope she thought.

Debbie “I need to see this Neil, but do me a favour Sergeant, don’t let Margaret Sinclair leave without telling me, I need to talk to her.”

Sergeant “Okay, should I tell her to wait if she’s heading out?”

Debbie “Please, now, that lady out there, that the mother?”

Sergeant “Yeah, she’s pretty torn up by all this.”

Debbie “I can imagine, what is Walt Fisher doing here?”

Sergeant “Guess he’s a friend of the family or something. He sure isn’t happy about this, but has to be one hell of a guy to come out for her given all he’s going through right now.”

She looked into the officer’s face and she could see the admiration being reflected in his eyes. A strange twist came to her and he felt the acid in the back of her throat as she looked back out at Walt Fisher. He was holding court with that reporter and she could just imagine the kinds of things he was saying. Well, one way or another, he would soon have his comeuppance, least if she were right in what she thought. God, how could people do it? It just didn’t make sense, and as much as the shrinks seemed to say that most abusers were abused themselves, she just couldn’t quite figure out how anyone who had gone through that shit could turn around and do it to someone else. It just didn’t make sense, but it was a fact none the less. For a mere second or two she felt her age and wished that she was off somewhere, playing house for Myron.

Debbie “Yeah, almost a Saint… almost.”

The way she spoke made him look at her directly, studying her face and then he glanced over at Walt Fisher and something didn’t sit right with him. He could feel the social worker’s hidden animosity towards Mr. Fisher, which he couldn’t understand. Could the news report have been right that something sinister was lurking behind the given facts? He knew that nothing the police had done was suspect, and for all he knew there was nothing to even suggest any criminal activity on the part of the two boys who reported Justin’s condition. So just what was it that suddenly raised the hairs on the back of his head?

He shook off the feeling, figuring it was just going to be one of those nights. He gathered up the keys and left the desk, leading the way for Debbie towards the holding rooms. Maybe she could do something for the kid but in his experience most social workers were nothing but paper pushers and Debbie Winston had a rep that said she was a by-the- book type. Well, so much for a lucky break for the kid but there really wasn’t much he could do even though he felt like he should. Strange, you didn’t really get those kinds of feelings too much in this job, least not if you had been in it for a while; but sometimes, someone came along that made you think.

His heart was heavy as he unlocked the door, knowing that the cards were clearly stacked against the kid. First there was that high flying bitch upstairs who pushed this way beyond what was necessary and then he certainly didn’t think that Rabbi fellow would do much, in fact he would most likely be pressing this and given the grief he must be suffering because of the news report, this would be his way to vent against them all. Damn, life wasn’t fair and now the poor kid got some by-the-book, regulation spitting, paper pusher as his last chance. Man what a screwy world he thought as he showed Debbie in, telling her he’d be by the door if she needed him, as he set the chair down inside giving her a place to sit.

She put the folder down on the table and stared over at the figure on the bench, his face chalk white with fear and yet there was a hint of defiance too, as if he were trying to show he wasn’t afraid in front of a woman. God the male ego she thought as she opened her notepad and looked over at him.

Neil looked like a fairly typical teenager. She could see a few pimples under the chin and yet as she looked at him, she could see the green eyes looking like those of a frightened deer. There was no mistaking his terror too, which was a good thing as far as she was concerned; it indicated to her that this might not be some thug who had only escaped police attention by luck. There was nothing to show that he was one of those tough guys either, she could see the way his lower lip was quivering and the way he looked at her, it made her heart twist a little, realizing that this was just a kid, not some hardened criminal, and she knew that to charge him as an adult was not going to help this kid see the errors of his ways. Mind you it was hard to tell when blind hate was involved too and just where did he get the ideas that he had so vividly portrayed on the synagogue’s walls? How did he know even what those horrible symbols meant or even how it would affect those like the Rabbi?

Debbie “So, I am Debbie, I need to ask you some questions.”

Neil “You a lawyer or something?”

Debbie “No, I am from Social Services. My job is to see that your rights as a juvenile are protected, also to maybe try and find out why you have done what you did tonight.”

Neil “Am I going to jail?”

She peered at him, seeing the way he was fighting back the tears as he spoke, seeing the way he held his whole body as if it would suddenly burst out and shake itself into a million pieces. There was no mistaking his fear or his attempt at trying to keep it hidden.

Debbie “I don’t know, the courts will decide that I am afraid, unless I can work something out.”

Neil “Work something out? Can you? I mean, I didn’t really mean to, I mean… I am going to jail, I know it.”

Debbie “Why? What makes you so sure?”

Neil “Cause.”

It was like a light had gone off in the boy’s head or something, the way he suddenly became less frightened, and Debbie watched his transformation as he grew sullen looking, almost defiant like he was going to show them, like he was going to prove that he was all man.

Debbie “Come on, cause why? What makes you think that?”

Neil “Cause that cop, uh, officer, he said if the Jews didn’t press charges I’d be let off, and I know they won’t do that, so I am fucked, aren’t I?”

He was trying to shock her, using profanity as his one manly weapon but she could see it in his eyes, see that he really believed that. Funny, she hadn’t really thought that this was about Jews but instead was strictly about Justin and the fact that the boy Robbie was seeing was Jewish, but maybe she was wrong, maybe there was much more to this and just maybe Margaret had seen that, though she rather doubted it.

Debbie “Look Neil, swearing isn’t going to impress me. Right now you are in a lot of trouble, deep trouble, so cut the crap and macho shit, okay? I can give it a lot better than you can, so how about it? Care to tell me the truth here? I mean without it Neil, there is nothing I can do, so its your call, what is going to be?”

Neil “You taking their side?”

Debbie “Who are ‘they’ Neil?”

Neil “Those Jews… they killed Justin, they turned Robbie into a fag, that is who.”

Debbie leaned back in her chair, feeling the hatred as it struck her fully in the face. The once angelic looking young man now appeared before her like some demon. His face was all twisted in anger and hatred and she could even see some spittle around the corners of his young face as he spoke the vile words. For the life of her she couldn’t understand how one so young could hate so completely, but Neil seemed to feel just that way, just as if he had long since held these feelings. Slowly she put her hands on the table and leaned forward to stare right into his face.

Debbie “They, as you call them, didn’t kill Justin, he died from an injury he got while riding a motorcycle with his father. And for Robbie, no one can make you gay, either you are or you aren’t. It is just that some people take time to accept who they are, but it’s that kind of thinking and those kinds of words that will get you that jail time you are so afraid of, now do you understand me?”

Neil looked at her and felt her anger even as he tried to hold himself together. How could she understand what it had meant to him to be friends with someone like Justin? To be thought of as a part of the Fisher family and not feel this way would be a betrayal to Walt and all he had done for him, wouldn’t it? She didn’t understand that he took that seriously, that being a part of their family meant he had to do something, that he couldn’t just stand by while some others hurt a brother and Justin was like a brother to him, well had been like one, so too had Robbie but all that was gone from him now, taken from him by those people, and no matter what she said that was the truth of it. He didn’t figure she’d understand but he had to try to make her see it, after all it was his duty as a man to try. Walt wouldn’t expect any less than that and he owed Walt.

Neil “You just don’t know the truth is all. You and most of the world are taken in by them, I know the truth. They want to own everything and tell us what to do. Justin wouldn’t let them have Robbie without a fight, not Justin, so they killed him. It is only a matter of time before it’s proved too, I saw the news.”

A cold sweat broke out on her forehead as she listened to Neil’s rants and she could see the hatred pouring out from him. He was obviously parroting what he had been taught, but who would dare poison someone so young like that? She sat there amazed at how vehement his hatred was and she wasn’t sure if she could even continue but she knew she had to, if for no other reason than because to do nothing would be to accept defeat, to surrender to those who preyed on the young for their own gain.

Debbie “You know this for a fact do you?”

Neil “Yes I do, they want to control the world, it is why they are so rich, why they kill even.”

He was so adamant, and it shook her at how he had suddenly changed in appearance right before her eyes. He was so animated while condemning the Jews, and the way his eyes glared at her frightened her a little, even though she knew she wasn’t in any physical danger, least she didn’t think she was. Listening to him though made her realize that she had to try and break through this insane notion of his, because if she couldn’t, he would most likely wind up not in juvenile detention but an adult prison and he would be lost to them then, because prison wouldn’t set him straight. Suddenly, she realized that she was in a fight that was perhaps beyond her, but she had to try no matter what, someone had to.

Debbie “And you have seen this? You, Neil Schellenberg, have actually seen this?”

Neil “Well no, not like you mean, but…”

Debbie “But someone you know has shown you this, is that it?”

Neil “Yeah, I guess; but he knows, he’s seen it first hand.”

Debbie “You mean Mr. Fisher, don’t you, Justin’s father?”

Neil was little taken aback by her words, and by her mentioning Walt in that way. For a second he thought that she was trying to trap him but he could see that she really didn’t know, that she really did believe in that nonsense the Jews pedalled. He also knew that he owed Walt Fisher and maybe if he could convince her of the truth, maybe then Walt wouldn’t disown him or at least not hate him.

Neil “Uh… yeah, I guess, and others too, not just him.”

Debbie “Justin feel that way too?”

Neil “Of course, so did Robbie until they brainwashed him.”

It really was chilling to her, and in some ways was like listening to an old war flick the way he spoke, the way he had all the answers as to why and who had done what. It made her determination grow as she tried to get more details, more information, but the picture was becoming very clear in her mind and she felt sickened by it, as she kept her face impassive, willing it to look like she was seriously contemplating his answers.

Debbie “Have you talked to Robbie about it?”

Neil “No, besides his dad says it is too late for him, that he’s gone over to the other side.”

Debbie “I see, and just when did Mr. Fisher tell you boys all about this?”

Neil “During our lessons! He is really a good person, a good father and we all love him, the way he takes the time to show us stuff, to help us become real men instead of just awkward, mindless saps like the schools create. He knows the truth, he’s had to face them.”

For just the briefest of moments she thought her heart would stop as she listened to him. The word ‘lessons’ had suddenly brought back all the horror of young Cory Treat and his dejection, his painful looking face that still haunted her nights. It was how he had referred to the times when he had been sexually abused, of that she knew for certain but yet no evidence had ever been found against the parents who were the natural suspects. No relatives were found to be involved either and yet something nagged at her, making her wish she had that file in her possession right now because the key was there. She knew it as sure as she knew now that Walt Fisher was not the Saint everyone believed. Now all she needed was proof, but from where? Who would provide the final missing pieces?

Despite the fear that was rising deep inside of her, she kept her face calm and she tried to make herself appear relaxed and at ease so that the boy wouldn’t pick up on anything. He could give her some of what she needed, she knew that but it would have to be carefully obtained. If he thought for a second that she might be after Walt Fisher, he’d clam up and that she had to avoid at all costs. With a carefully toned lilt to her voice, one that implied nothing more than simple curiosity, she began to probe deeper.

Debbie “Lessons? So, what, you and some others get special help from Mr Fisher, do you?”

Neil “Uh yeah, he’s more of a dad to us than most, and he cares for us, not like the teachers, he teaches us stuff we need to know.”

Debbie “What kind of stuff?”

There was something that made him stare at the lady, something that seemed to warn him that maybe she was being too nosey but he couldn’t figure it out. All he knew was that he needed to convince her about Walt Fisher, to show her that he was a great person but he also felt like maybe she didn’t need to know everything; besides, he doubted if she would understand that special bond between a father and son that he experienced with Walt Fisher. Most women didn’t understand that kind of stuff, but then that was why he needed the lessons, wasn’t it?

Neil “Stuff, what does it matter? He didn’t tell me to do any of this… you can’t blame him for it.”

Debbie could feel his sudden pulling back and she concentrated hard, desperate to try and keep his confidence, to keep the words flowing and hoping that he would give her something she could perhaps take to the police, or at least give her some sense of where to look for that kind of evidence.

Debbie “No one is blaming him or you right now. I just want to get all the facts so I can help you.”

Neil “I don’t need your help; Mr. Fisher will help me, you’ll see. He can get me out of this, even if they force this to court, he’ll look after me, he always has.”

Debbie “You been taking lessons from Mr. Fisher for some time have you?”

Neil “Yeah, I guess, ever since we moved near him. He’s helped me and my mom out lots of times, he’s a good guy.”

Her heart was sick as she listened to him, and she knew that somehow Walt Fisher had convinced this boy that Jews were evil and that pedophilia was nothing more than a life lesson. God how she hated people like Walt Fisher but they were becoming an ever growing part of society, despite the law. Trouble was, it was one of the hardest things to prove these days, given society’s so called liberal morality. Hell, it was only a few years ago that a provincial appeals court had ruled that a 6 year old had solicited an older man for sex, that while the adult should have known better, that in fact the child had instigated the proceedings and so the conviction had been over turned. How absolutely crazy had that been and yet today that asshole still prowled the streets, no doubt adding to his list of ready victims.

It was becoming obvious to her that Neil was not going to be the one to give her the whole details, but she had a trail now, a beginning of where to look and maybe also a way to approach Robbie Fisher himself. He might just be the one to give her what she needed to crack this wide open, but would he? Given all he had gone through with his suicide attempt and then loss of his younger brother, she doubted if he could or even would help; but maybe if she talked to the Rabbi? Maybe he could help but right now she knew that she still needed to try and get more from Neil, before he became closed off and before Walt Fisher got his hands on the boy.

Debbie “Oh I am sure he is. Tell me, just what kind of lessons does he teach you boys?”

Neil “Like I said, stuff, stuff we can use, not like that crap they stuff down our throats at school.”

Debbie “Okay, this at his place is it? The lessons that is.”

Neil “Sometimes, in the summer he takes some of us up to his cabin; it is real nice up there, you can go fishing, swimming, it’s a great place!”

She saw the way his face had lit up when he had talked about the cabin and suddenly she had an inspiration, that, if he confirmed, might just give her an edge in talking to not just Margaret but also to Robbie. God she hoped she was wrong but deep in her heart she knew she wasn’t.

Debbie “Even dirt bike riding?”

Neil “Yeah, but that’s only if you been real good, done your lessons right. That’s why Justin got to go riding by himself, he was really doing good, ask Betty, she can tell you that!”

There it was, the link she needed and she could hardly contain herself but she managed. Keeping her face as impassive as possible she now knew the hook, the line perhaps that Walt Fisher used and that in itself would aid her in getting more details later on, if she could just get through this without tipping her hand, without alarming Neil so that he might see where all this was going.

Debbie “Betty? Is that a girlfriend or something?”

Neil “Yeah, she is… was Justin’s girlfriend.”

Debbie “I see, uh, do you have one? A girlfriend?”

Neil “Of course!”

Debbie “Okay, uh, this Betty, what’s her last name?”

Neil “Braithwaite, I think, why?”

Debbie “Oh just to keep things neat and tidy in my notes, so uh, she and Justin, they were close?”

Neil “She was his girlfriend; besides, Mr. Fisher picked her out for Justin, he’s great like that.”

Her eyes glanced upwards at him, as she slowly wrote some notes down in her own special short hand. She had learned a long time ago not to write in plain English as some of her more precocious types could read upside down and that certainly didn’t help her. Now she wrote everything down in her own brand of shorthand, made for extra work but she knew right now that it was paying off. She had seen the way he had leaned forward to catch a glance at her notes, and she also knew that she couldn’t keep pushing, he was becoming concerned and that wouldn’t help. If she could keep him thinking this was just routine, then he might not think of it as a big deal and so not relate it all to Walt Fisher, and that meant that Mr. Fisher wouldn’t be tipped off.

In many ways this was a game, one in which you would assume that she would have the upper hand but that wasn’t always the case. Some of these kids were a damn site smarter than people gave kids credit for. In fact, many of them had a better instinct than adults, and she could see the alarm in his face, see the way he was starting to shift around as her questions mounted.

Debbie “You ever go out on dates with Justin and this Betty?”

Neil “Sure, sometimes, but mostly he’d go out with her alone; they liked to have their private time, you know?”

Debbie “I suppose, been a long time since I was in High School and dating.”

Neil “You married?”

Debbie “No, not yet anyhow.”

Neil “You dating?”

Debbie “No, not really. There is this lawyer I am seeing though, but you know, it is still tough dating, no matter how old you are.”

Neil “Yeah, that’s what Mr. Fisher tells us; but he helps a lot, makes it easier to handle.”

Debbie “I am sure he does. Uh, he spends a lot of time giving you guys pointers, huh?”

Neil “Some.”

She could actually see the blinders coming down, almost as if a steel door had suddenly appeared between her and Neil. She knew that for now there wouldn’t be all that much more she could get from him, but she also knew that right now, she had enough to at least giver her some direction. God how she hated her job at times, and now it felt even worse than ever before. She still couldn’t get the image of young Cory out of her mind, the word ‘lessons’ reverberating inside her mind like a ticking time bomb. Somehow she knew there was a connection between Cory Treat and all this, but what, she just couldn’t figure out yet.

Debbie “Yeah, wish I had someone like that when I was your age, who knows maybe I’d have been married by now.”

Neil “Maybe.”

Debbie “Okay, so, Neil, you did this why? Was it because you were angry at the Rabbi and his sons?”

Neil “The who?”

Debbie “The Rabbi, uh, that is like the pastor of the Jewish church, it is his son that Robbie is with.”

Neil “Shit, that is so sick; see, didn’t I tell you that they want to rule us all? Their priest even sends his own kids to do their dirty work.”

There it was again, once more showing on the boy’s face and she trembled a little wondering how people like the Rabbi ever faced the world the way they did, knowing that such hatred existed out there. Her eyes watered a little as she wondered if Myron had ever come across this type of unreasonable, unjustified, hatred? Even as she asked herself, she knew the answer and for that she suddenly felt old and tired and sick to her stomach.

Debbie “You believe that? Is that from what Mr. Fisher taught you or what?”

Neil “Hell, it was all over the news! Mr. Fisher didn’t have to tell me.”

Debbie “You know though that what they showed on the news was only snippets of the conversation they had with the Rabbi?”

Neil “Huh? Yeah, I guess, but the stuff they cut out, that was just window dressing. I mean they can’t change what the guy said.”

Debbie “No, they can’t actually change it, but they can change how it appears. They can make it seem to mean something totally different than what it was intended to mean.”

Neil “No way, they’d get shut down, you sticking up for them?”

Debbie “No, I am pointing out that sometimes the news, the media, they show things in a different way than how it really went down. And no, they don’t get shut down for that, though maybe they should.”

Neil “No way, what I saw, the way they spoke, you could tell that that guy was hiding something, so was Robbie but…”

Debbie “But what Neil?”

Before he could answer there was a knock on the door and the Sergeant poked his head inside as he opened the door. He saw the angry glare coming from the social worker but he couldn’t help it.

Sergeant Burns “Uh, sorry Ms. Winston, the detectives want you upstairs.”

Her eyes flashed and she glared at the Sergeant, knowing it really wasn’t his fault but she also knew that the moment was broken, the confidence they had built up was shattered for now and in her heart she knew it would be almost impossible to regain, especially if Walt Fisher got a hold of the boy. The only chance was that somehow they could keep the two of them apart which might not be all that impossible, given Margaret’s desire to make this a test case. Maybe she could use that to her advantage and as much as she hated the thought of Neil spending the night in jail, maybe it would be the chance she needed to get more information from him? It just might be worth the risk because she knew that Walt Fisher would keep Neil quiet in any future discussions. Still, she did have several good leads to work on, and as tired as she was feeling right now, she knew that she wouldn’t be going back to sleep until much, much later.

Debbie “I am busy!”

Burns “I told them, but uh, it is important, and uh, Ms. Sinclair also insisted.”

Debbie “I see, okay, uh, well thank you Neil, we’ll talk again later.”

Neil “Okay, uh… are you going to help me?”

She looked down at the boy; saw the way his head was tilted and the way his eyes now looked up at her. He was once more that simple scared teenager and her heart reached out for him, unsure of what she could do but she felt that there was still hope, that as much as he was filled with hate and misinformation he was still a victim and so she nodded at him, giving him a smile, too, to try and help ease his fear.

Debbie “Yes Neil I am going to try, that is my job.”