Chapter 2

Justin sat at the edge of the bed and pulled his pants up. He struggled a little to pull the pants up over his shorts and buttocks and he could hear the bed squeaking as he finally got them up and over his jockey shorts. With his one hand, he reached down to adjust his package, pushing his still rather hard dick to one side and he turned around to stare at the soft face that had crawled up next to him.

Betty “You don’t have to leave just yet Justin…”

Justin “Yeah, I do or else the old man will tan my hide.”

Betty “We still going to Bobby’s party next weekend?”

Justin “I suppose, uh look, I really should go…”

Betty “You men are all alike, sure you don’t want to stay? My parents won’t be home until late tomorrow, we could see if you can maybe break your own record?”

Justin “Yeah? Well, I don’t know, I mean wasn’t the last time enough for tonight?”

Betty “I never get enough of your loving Justin Fisher, you are so damn hot, come on, don’t go, stay and show me how hot you really be…”

Justin “Shit Betty, you really do like to do this but I do have to go, even though, shit I suppose if I stayed… no I better not, my dad said he wanted me home, and you know how he gets!”

Betty “I thought your father approved of us?”

Justin “He does, he really thinks you are tops, so do I, just he wants me home tonight. He’s taking me up to Shawnigan Lake in the morning to go fishing, as it is I won’t get much sleep, he wants to leave around 4:30.”

Betty “In the morning? Shit, that is early, well if you really have to…”

Justin “I do Betty, God, I would much rather stay here and try for our record, you know that, but I have to keep the old man happy.”

Betty “Okay, well, you still going to come over later tonight aren’t you? We can go to Sue’s place, her parents are never home on a Saturday night.”

Justin “Haha, okay, but you bring the condoms this time, I won’t have time to get any, and we used up the last one’s tonight.”

Betty “Okay, I’ll try to remember, not like we need them anyways, I mean you aren’t seeing someone else are you? I would kill you if you were!”

Justin “Relax, geez, no of course not, you are the only one for me.”

Betty “Okay, well I’ll try to remember, but it feels so much better when you don’t use them, I like the feel of your rod.”

Justin “God, you are impossible, haha, okay it you forget, you forget.”

They kissed for a bit longer, Betty still trying to entice Justin to stay by placing her hands down his pants. He had to admit, she did have a way to make him horny and he could feel his dick growing hard once again. God, the girl was insatiable the way she wanted his body and while he knew he was good, she made him feel like he was a super stud. It felt good too, to know that his evenings wouldn’t be spent looking at some pictures, that he could always count on Betty to help relieve that ache in his groin.

She was right too, it did feel better, when he didn’t use the condom but he felt like he was rather obligated to. After all, there were things out there that a guy could catch and his father had given him that sex talk a few times. A bit less since he started dating Betty but still, the words kind of hung around and so when he remembered, he did use them. Besides, it wasn’t like he was cheating on Betty; he got what he wanted when he wanted so there really wasn’t any reason for him to look elsewhere.

Christ it felt good, to feel her hands stroking his hard cock and all, but he knew he had to be home, as it was he was going to get into shit because he was supposed to be home at midnight, and it was already 1 o’clock and he still had a good 45 minute walk before getting home. Oh well, he knew his father wouldn’t be too upset as long as he explained it. He really did approve of him and Betty and he took a lot of pride in Justin’s accomplishments, especially with the ladies.

That thought brought a warm smile to his face, and it only made Betty grip his throbbing cock harder as he struggled to pull away and exit the house. God, she was like a nymph or something, the way she kept trying to get him to screw her or let her suck him off. It was the perfect relationship for him except there was one part of him that seemed unhappy by it all. She was always pushing him to take her to certain parties, and he didn’t mind so much except he really didn’t get off on some of the crowd she insisted they hang with. It just felt awkward, plus they were always asking if he was related to Robbie, the one who was scoring champ two years back, the last time that the Mount Douglas Rams had won the provincial championships.

Justin hated it when that was brought up, it always made him feel so inferior, like he had to go out and prove to them that he was indeed Robbie’s brother. Christ, he hated his older brother, and lately he really couldn’t stand to even be in the same room as him. It was like he was always being measured by what Robbie had done. Well, this was his year and if things went the way he thought they would, he’d make them all forget about Robbie.

They had a super team this year, and they were rated as the team to beat on the island and were even given a chance to take the title if they could get past one or two teams from the mainland. He really was hyped for this season but still they kept bringing up Robbie; well as far as he was concerned, he wished Robbie would drop dead. He was sick and tired of being compared to him and besides; even his dad said he was far better than Robbie ever was. His dad should know, so he was able to feel a bit easier, as he leaned against the door jam and let Betty have her fun once more.

Justin kept his eyes closed as he heard the zipper on his pants slide down and he could feel Betty’s fingers pulling at his dick, pulling it out so she could suck on it. God, she really did like to suck on his cock and he smiled as he started to think about other things, like how sexy Leanne Rimes looked in her latest video and he could feel his heart pounding as he watched her coming down those stairs, her belly glittering under the spotlight and at the same time he could feel Betty’s lips wrapping around his cock and he sighed.

It didn’t take him long and he could feel his body leap forward, his ass striking back against the door jam, and he cried out a little from the pain that lanced up his spine and he heard Betty moaning a little too. He could feel his body as it exploded and he looked down to wrap his fingers in Betty’s long flowing blond hair, not because he needed to hold onto anything, but simply because it made her feel good. His fingers wrapped around the hair and he started to tell her how good it was as he pushed her head closer to his groin, while at the same time pushing his hips forward so as to make sure his whole cock was in her mouth as he finished shooting his load.

Feeling his body heaving, he started to breath just a little faster and just like most every time before, he started to see his brother’s face floating in front of him, and he grew hotter, his body would start to buck as if trying to scare away the looming image of the tall 6ft 170 pound figure. Justin squirmed a little, as he struggled to let his body explode once more and yet at the same time, send away the haunting image of Robbie.

Finished, she leaned back and stared up at him. She had that smile on her face that she always had after sucking him off and he just grinned down at her for a second or two before reality once more set in. He reached down and zipped up again, and this time she could see, he was serious. She just patted his crotch, as if it was her personal spot and then stood up to let him pass out the door. They had taken a risk doing it in the doorway, but it was late at night and the neighbours would most likely have been asleep; if not, well they got a good show and she kind of enjoyed that thought. She enjoyed showing off her man, and while Justin Fisher wasn’t exactly marrying material, he would do for high school, provided he delivered on the court like he delivered in the bedroom. God, he was sexy but there was something mysterious too about him that made her want him so much. She couldn’t explain it and really wasn’t all that interested in finding out, just so long as he showed up when he was supposed to, took her where they were supposed to be seen, and kept her happy in bed.

Justin turned the corner from Betty’s home and started to jog. He knew his dad was going to be pissed, but hell, he’d soften up once he explained himself, telling him Betty was just very much in the mood and that he was always told to never leave a lady unsatisfied. That should work or else he could always use the line that he just didn’t want to rush it, after all, his dad had told him that you had to take pride in the things you did. Yeah, that one would work with the old man, besides, he really did seem happy when Justin came home after scoring with Betty.

It really was kind of weird though, if you thought about it. His father had a bit too much of a need to know all the details of his sex life, almost as if he was trying to make sure that Justin was a real red blooded male and not something else, but what else could he be?

The funny thing about it all was that his father never seemed to get excited or aroused by his exploits. It was almost like he was hoping to hear something else; some failure on his part to satisfy Betty maybe, but that was just too strange, yet it was how he felt. Like maybe his dad was searching, trying to make sure that he could do it with a girl, and yet he didn’t understand why there would be any question of that, unless he was doing something wrong, something he didn’t notice.

As he kept his legs pumping and his arms swaying, a dark cloud came over his thoughts as he thought about what to tell his father when he got home. There was no doubt his dad would be up, it didn’t matter what time of night it was, his dad would be up and waiting for him. It was like he couldn’t wait for Justin to get home and tell him all about his date with Betty, and sometimes, well he felt a bit strange about it but then it was just that most parents never cared for their kids like his dad did. He was interested in everything he did, and there wasn’t anything he couldn’t tell his dad about. Hell, his dad knew as much about Betty’s little quirks in bed as he did, but then that was why they had such a special relationship, they didn’t keep anything back. His dad would caution him about using condoms, telling him they didn’t need any complications, but he was careful, well for the most part.

The trouble was, that this last week his dad had seemed on edge. Ever since Robbie had suddenly shown up one night. Ever since then his dad had been grumpy and one night he wasn’t even there to hear all about his time with Betty. That was strange but his mother just told him to mind his manners and to behave himself. Justin knew that his dad and Robbie were at odds, he still didn’t know what it was all about except that his dad had thrown Robbie out of the house shortly before graduation day. His mother wouldn’t discuss it and when he had asked Robbie, all he got was a shrug and a bunch of tears. Christ he hated that, seeing Robbie cry, men didn’t cry but his older brother seemed to do it at the fucking drop of a pin. Man, he was kind of glad that Robbie wasn’t around but he did kind of miss him, after all, they used to play out back together, and he did miss that challenge.

Thinking about Robbie was becoming too much of a habit for him and yet, he just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong between Dad and Robbie, something that he should know about but didn’t. Fuck it, he thought, but then it would only come back to haunt him even more. He used to admire Robbie, the way he had always been the athlete, and the super jock who had all the girls around him and who could silence a room by just walking in to it.

He could remember how everyone looked up to Robbie and when he had entered grade 7, all the kids could talk about was Robbie this, Robbie that, as if he needed to be reminded of Robbie’s accomplishments. Strange, he never really thought much about what Robbie had done, but how he would always be there for him when he was younger. It was always Robbie who would go out at night and help him practise throwing hoops. It wasn’t dad, not until Robbie had left, and that too was strange, the way Robbie had just upped and left, not even fighting to stay home.

The rift between Robbie and his dad bugged the shit out of him, and he never did get any answers, not from his dad and sure as hell not from Robbie. All Robbie had said to him was that he couldn’t stand being dad’s toy, which didn’t make sense, after all dad had spent hours alone with Robbie, always helping him perfect his shots, his skills. They had taken dozens of trips to their summer cabin on Salt Spring Island, alone so they could work on nothing but Robbie’s basketball skills, and despite all that, Robbie seemed so ungrateful, so uncaring about all that dad had done. It just didn’t make any sense to him and neither did Robbie’s warnings to him, telling him that if dad ever started taking him to Salt Spring alone to let him know, that he would stop it.

Why would he want to stop it? He loved being with his father and his father was maybe a bit strict on the coaching stuff, but he did know a lot about it and he had really helped him. So what if it meant missing a few parties, at least Salt Spring was fun, a nice quiet place with lots of wild brush to get lost in and just relax, plus the fishing was great.

As he came closer to his home, his thoughts were still all jumbled up, trying to figure out what it was that had happened between his brother and father. As far back as he could remember, the attention he got was always less than what Robbie got, and he had been jealous of Robbie for that. It was one of the reasons why he had gone out for basketball, not because he liked the game, but so he could show his dad that he was better at it than Robbie, and that did seem to work. After all, he was living at home and Robbie was history.

Well that really wasn’t true, Robbie did come around but as he slowed down a little, he realized that Robbie never visited when his dad was home. He would come to see mom and his sister, but rarely did he stay to see dad. Man, whatever it was that had happened had to be something huge, cause his dad never held a grudge. Sure, he was tough and he made Justin practise hard, but it hadn’t been all that bad. At least he got to spend more time with his dad and okay, at the beginning it was Robbie who helped him, who taught him the little tricks that made him a good player, but still, it was his dad who stood outside every night, encouraging him, giving him pointers.

Justin turned off Richmond to run down the sloping Knight Street when he spotted the activity down near the end of the street. He wasn’t sure, as he passed by the private school St. Michaels, but it looked awfully near his own house. He figured that old lady Johnson must have had another of her attacks and the cops were out looking for another imaginary prowler. You would think they would get used to her wild calls but no, they still showed up to check things out. Great, they would most likely stop and hassle him now, as it was late at night and he was only 16. He slowed down a little as he tried to catch his breath, thinking the cops wouldn’t be impressed if he was out of breath when he realized that they weren’t at the house next to his, but where actually at his place.

Panic gripped his young heart and he thought that something must be wrong with his mother. She was a frail lady and his father kept saying how she wasn’t as strong as she used to be. He was right too; she hadn’t looked good all week long, ever since Robbie had been by. Fuck, he hoped that Robbie’s visit hadn’t made her sick or brought on some attack or something. He started to run now, as the fear of not knowing gripped him tightly and he could feel the sweat pouring down his face as he pumped harder, pushing his young athletic body even harder so he could reach home a second or two faster.

Running as fast as he could go he raced up his front steps, to burst into the house to see his father sitting in his chair, his mother resting her hand on his shoulder and two police officers. One of them was sitting on the couch, twirling his cap in his hands and the other just leaning against the wall. They both looked rather embarrassed and all of them turned their heads as he burst into the house and the living room.

Justin stared at everyone, not sure what was going on because his mother looked okay, she was white and had a handkerchief up to her mouth, her hand was resting on his father’s shoulder but she looked okay. His dad looked different, almost like he was about to explode and he rarely looked so out of control as he did that second. His father’s eyes seemed to be as black as coal as he stared at him, and he shook, not sure, what was happening. He couldn’t speak, his rapid breathing echoing in the quiet of the living room.

Walter “Where the hell have you been boy?”

Justin “At Betty’s, I told you, what is wrong? Why are the co… Why are the police here?”

Why is everyone looking at the floor? What is going on? Damn I knew I should have left earlier, why does she always do that, keep me late and stuff, just so she can get more of my dick? Fuck, someone has to tell me what is going on, why is dad just sitting there? He looks so angry and yet, well not just angry but like he’s disappointed, mom is in tears, what is going on? Did they have a fight again? They haven’t fought for a while, okay well the other night but not like they used to fight, why the cops?

Walter “Weren’t you supposed to be home at midnight?”

Justin “Yes Sir, I uh, I lost track of time, I am sorry.”

Walter “You kids, you have no consideration at all, you are all alike, you and your brother Robbie, I should have known you would turn out the same way…”

Sharon “Walter, calm down, he doesn’t know anything yet, why don’t you let me make you some coffee?”

I have to be strong, I can’t let Justin know how much this is killing me, he must never find out about his father and Robbie, never but how can I keep it all a secret? There is no way I can do this, my son needs me, but so does Justin and Walter is a good man, he’s given us a good home and provided for us, how can I just abandon all that?

Walter “Coffee? No, no coffee, not right now, I need a stiff drink though, Justin… Go into the kitchen and get me some coke, there should be a can or two left unless you drank it all already.”

Justin “Yes Sir, no, I didn’t drink any, uh…”

Walter “Well? GO!”

Justin “Yes Sir.”

Officer #1 “Uh, well Mr. Fisher, Mrs. Fisher, we should get back to, uh, our patrol, again, I am sorry to have to bring you this news, uh, if you need to talk to anyone, we have a chaplain on duty that we can call for you, or maybe you would, uh, well maybe there is someone we can call for you?”

Christ that is the first sign that the guy has any feelings. I have seen some strange reactions to this type of news but not like this. He is more worried that people will find out, that all this might inconvenience him, yet it is his son who needs help. How can a father just ignore all this? Well, it isn’t my job to analyse them, that’s for the doctor but I don’t think they are going to get much help here, maybe the mother can help but she looks so beaten, like she is just hanging on.

Walter “Call for us? No, no thanks Officer, I am sorry you had to come out here for this, I really don’t understand kids these day, they are such a disappointment.”

Officer #2 “Well, uh the important thing is he is alive Mr. Fisher, least that has to uh, be some comfort.”

Justin “Who is alive? What is going on?”

Walter “JUST GO GET THE COKE!”

Justin “Yes Sir, sorry.”

What has happened? Who is alive and why are they all shoving me out of the way? Christ, it has to be Robbie, something bad has happened to Robbie but why won’t dad tell me? Why is he so angry with me?

Sharon “Yes, yes it is officer, thank you, uh, I’ll show you out.”

Officer #2 “That really isn’t necessary Mrs. Fisher, are you sure we can’t call someone for you? A family friend or relative in town?”

Walter “No, we don’t need to broadcast this, do we? Thank you for coming, I am sure it wasn’t easy, thank you.”

Officer #1 “Yes, well again, sorry to have to bring you this news, I am sure if you call the hospital they can give you more details, I believe that they’ll be transferring your son to EMI sometime in the morning.”

Sharon “Thank you, uh, I think we need to just be alone for a moment or two, to kind of, well, to sort this out, but thank you for your concern.”

Officer #2 “Well, okay, uh, here is our card, if you need any other information, just uh, give us a call.”

Walter “Thank you Officers, but we can handle this on our own, thank you.”

Justin “Here’s the coke…”

Walter “Huh? Oh, fine, where is my glass? Get me a glass with an ice cube, Christ do I have to spell everything out for you? At least Robbie wasn’t so stupid.”

Sharon “Walter, don’t take it out on Justin, he doesn’t even know what has happened yet, now why don’t you sit down, I’ll fix your drink for you, Justin… please go and get a large glass with two ice cubes.”

Justin “Yes Ma’am.”

Justin looked from his mother to his father and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He was petrified about what they might say, and not knowing what this was all about had him shaking as he slowly grabbed a tall glass from the cupboard and then reached for the ice cube tray in the freezer. Something bad had happened to Robbie and he didn’t understand his dad, did he hate Robbie too?

He leaned against the fridge, his eyes swollen by the wave of sadness that was slowly consuming his young 16-year-old body. His 5foot 10-½ inch body just shook as he held tightly onto the glass. The ice cubes rattling against the sides as he wondered what had happened to his older brother. He shook as he remembered how he had wished Robbie dead only minutes earlier on his jog home and now he started to cry, wondering if he would ever see his big brother again.

Standing there, he felt so alone, and for the first time since Robbie had left, he felt angry with his father. Why did Dad have to kick him out, what did he do that was so bad that he couldn’t live at home? He missed Robbie, the way he would help him with basketball or even with his homework. His dad never really had bothered, but Robbie had and like an idiot he had wished him dead, how could he be so selfish, so cruel to want that?

He was feeling so confused, so alone that he hadn’t heard his mother come into the kitchen. The touch of her hand on his trembling shoulder made him start and he flinched, thinking it was his dad but as he stared into her eyes, he just started to finally cry and she brought him into her arms, hugging him tight and softly whispering in his ear, telling him that it would be okay, that he had nothing to fear, that she was there for him. He felt her shaking, his tears making her blouse damp as he cried and tried to figure out what was happening.

Justin “It’s Robbie isn’t it Mom?”

Sharon “Yes son, he uh, well, he is okay now, but he uh, he did something rather stupid and well, I don’t know…”

He is so much like his brother, how can I allow this to continue? My poor baby and no one to comfort him or help him. Robbie knew better, he was strong, why did he do this to us?

Justin “What did he do? What do you mean he’s okay for now? Mom, why is dad so angry at Robbie?”

Sharon “This is a shock to us all Justin, you’ll have to be strong, your father needs you. Now you take him his glass, and I’ll explain what happened later, okay? Now come on, dry those tears, you know how your father doesn’t like his men crying now.”

There isn’t anything I can do about Robbie, not now, but poor Justin, he has to bear all this and he is so young, my God he is only 16 but there is so much he needs, so many things he needs to learn, to understand, but his father loves him, he may have some strange ideas but he is a good man, he looks after us all, despite our faults and failings he still looks after us, but how do I explain that to someone as young as you my son? How do I explain that your father means us no harm, that he only has our best interests at heart?

Justin “Yes Ma’am, but …”

Sharon “But nothing Justin, come on, you can do this, I know you can.”

Justin “Okay, but you will tell me later?”

Sharon “I promise son, now take the glass in.”

His father was sitting in his big armchair, and for the first time Justin felt revulsion at his dad. He didn’t understand where the feelings were coming from, but in that instant he felt a sort of anger of his own, an anger that whatever had happened, his father was to blame for it and that only made him more frightened. He had never thought of his father in that way before, he had always looked up to him, always thought he was like a god and could do no wrong. At this moment, he thought his father resembled some demon rather than a God and it made him tremble even more.

Walter watched the range of emotions going through Justin’s face and he wondered about him, wondered just what was really going on in that pretty blond head of his son. The way he stood there, the glass in one hand by his side, his long strawberry blond hair hanging down in a matted shambles around his collar, and for a brief second he could see Robbie’s face instead of Justin’s. They were so much alike, except Justin wasn’t as tall, least not yet but he still had a few years of growing time left, and he should wind up being at least 2 or 3 inches above 6 feet.

Staring at Justin, he could feel a small pang in his heart, and he knew that it was wrong, but after all, he was his father and a father should love his son, even if they did things wrong. Justin just needed the proper guidance to be a good son and that was his job, to give him that guidance, that direction. Robbie had the same potential but he chose not to take his direction, his guidance, and look at him now lying in some hospital bed strapped to the railings like some animal. Well he had warned him, he had told him that he would be punished and it was up to him to make sure the same fate didn’t befall Justin.

Walter “You were very late in getting home tonight son, what is your excuse?”

Justin “Sorry Sir, I guess I just lost track of time.”

Walter “Well I am sure Betty’s parents weren’t pleased about you being there so long.”

Justin “Uh, they aren’t home Sir, they are away for the week, up island I think.”

Why is he asking me all this now? Robbie is hurt and he is acting like it isn’t anything, is he trying to spare me? Does he think I am too young to deal with this stuff? Why doesn’t he accept me as a man now, I am 16 and I am not stupid, I know about stuff, but look at him, it is like nothing has happened, like no cops have been here, like Robbie is fine and not hurt, how can he be so calm?

Walter “Oh? Well that must have been nice for you then, so, you and Betty have a nice romantic time?”

Look at him, so young and so innocent, why is such good looks wasted on someone so young? Surely, we should have that blessing grow as we grow older, when it means something to us instead of letting the youth squander it. Even now he is slowly wasting his talent, and for what? Some trollop who won’t appreciate it in a few years? It is a disgrace, and yet God has seen fit to grace only the young with such immense talent and such capacity to use that talent.

Justin “Yes Sir, Uh, dad? What happened to Robbie? Why were the police here, what did they…”

Walter“Your mother will deal with that, it is not your concern, your brother has a habit of being a disappointment to me and in making stupid decisions, I hope you aren’t so inclined as well, I don’t think I could handle both of my sons turning out to be failures!”

Poor Robbie, he never could understand me. Not like you can Justin but he was so handsome too. You have his eyes, did you know that? No, I guess you don’t, but you do, the same soft blue eyes and yet they change colour as your mood changes. Look at them now, thin wisps of dark blue running thru the soft blue tint, and all because you are worrying about your older brother. Well you shouldn’t worry about him, he made his choice a long time ago, the wrong choice, but you still have a chance, you still can take the right path, all you need is my guidance and this time I won’t fail, this time I will see that the right path is the one you take.

Justin “No Sir, but Mom seems so upset, I just thought…”

Walter “We are talking about your evening, not how your mother is feeling, aren’t we?”

Justin “Yes sir, uh, it wasn’t that much different than any other time, I mean, you know how Betty is, uh, but, you really want to hear all this, I mean with all that has gone on…”

Walter “Well, maybe I should see how your mother is, you must be tired after your exploits earlier, but, well, how about if you and I head over to Salt Spring and the cabin for a few days? Would you like that?”

Salt Spring was our place, I bet you didn’t know that Justin, but it was a special place when Robbie and I were there alone, now maybe it is time to make it special once more, but this time, it will be special for you and me, and Robbie, well it seems he’s made his own choice on that, but then it was bound to come to this, after all he was too much his mother’s son than mine.

Justin “SURE! I mean yeah, but, uh now?”

Walter “Why not? We could make the first ferry over and rest up there, maybe get some evening fishing in too, why don’t you throw some clothes together and I’ll go talk to your mother.”

Justin “OKAY! But…”

Walter “No buts. Either you want to go or you don’t, I am going to catch the first ferry, you coming with me?”

Justin “Yes Sir, I won’t be long, uh, should I pack some food or…”

Walter “Just pack a change of clothes, we’ll be there a couple of days I expect, go on, get a move on and you can tell me all about your time with Betty once we get there.”

Justin “Yes Sir!”

Justin ran out of the room, after placing the glass down next to his father and for that instant, he felt a strange uncomfortable feeling flash thru him. He felt dirty all of a sudden and he couldn’t explain it but it passed quickly as he turned and ran to his room, to get some clothes together. As he entered his own room, he could hear his father calling for his mom and the sound of their voices locked in a heated debate troubled him. It was strange, but his father had never taken him to Salt Spring and the cabin alone before, now they were going for a few days, despite Robbie being in the hospital.

Robbie’s words came back to haunt him as he threw a pair of jockey shorts into his duffle bag, and it made him stop and stare at the blue nylon fabric, his fingers grasping at the thin shorts in a death grip. What was it about Salt Spring that was so terrible? The family had always gone there for several weekends during the summer months and they always had fun. He could remember splashing in the ocean with both his sister and Robbie but Robbie had warned him about it, as if it was some dangerous place. What was it that had happened between Robbie and dad?

With his hand trembling, he let the shorts fall into his bag and he wondered what it was about the solo trips to Salt Spring. Thinking back, he could always remember how there was tension between his mother and father whenever he had gone to the island with Robbie alone. His mother never did want them to go but his father had always brushed aside her objections. After all, he was the head of the household, not her and so his word was law.

He couldn’t understand that actually, why even Robbie seemed reluctant to go with his own father to spend time alone at a remote cabin, fishing and doing guy stuff. Shit, even not long before Robbie had left home, there had been a fight about going to Salt Spring. He remembered how his mother was in tears as Robbie was arguing about going. Thinking about that time, it was also when he began to really dislike his big brother, and he realized it was because Dad had said he’d take Justin if Robbie were such a wimp. That was it, and instead of Robbie staying home, he had given in and gone with Dad.

Thinking back to that time, he also remembered going into Robbie’s room, while he was packing, and telling Robbie that he wanted to go, that Robbie didn’t have to go if Dad was willing to take him. Justin shivered as he remembered the look on Robbie’s face, the way his mouth was set into a hard frown, his lips curled menacingly under his teeth, his eyes narrowed and so cold looking, his jaw set solid, and his voice, oh God he could remember his voice as he answered Justin’s plea. It was like listening to death itself; it held such terror and menace in its inflection that he had even backed away then, just as he shivered now in remembering it.

The words came back to him now as he slowly let his jockey shorts fall into the bag along with some socks. He could hear the words as Robbie stared at a pair of his own jockey shorts, a pair just like the ones he had just tossed into his bag, crumbling them up in the paw of his fist, and the eyes had flashed like lightning bolts as he spoke:

“I would kill myself first before I would let you go with him alone!”