Chapter 46

“Billy, telephone”

“Take a message”

“She says it’s your Aunt Karen and it’s important”

“Okay, hang on”

“Hi, Aunt Karen?”

Billy listened as his aunt talked, and he found it a little hard to concentrate, as Mike was being very naughty. Damn, it was like there wasn’t any place safe for him, and he smiled as Mike’s tongue licked at his inside thigh. He giggled and had to make a quick recovery to his aunt, and he almost laughed out loud, as he thought of what she would say if she knew her precious nephew was having his crotch licked by the most awesome football player in the world?  Most likely, all she would do is grimace and wait for his dad to get home, now there would be a shock. Like his dad would most likely ask if Mike was on his knees or just squatting on the back of his heels.

God, to think how things had changed so much in such a relatively short time. This time last year he was barely speaking to his father, now they were comparing their lover’s sucking techniques. Well, okay comparing wasn’t really the word, more like bragging but then as he looked down at Mike’s dark hair, he really did have a lot to brag about.

Billy could hardly concentrate, Mike was rolling his tongue all along his throbbing dick now and it felt so great, he was sure he would cum in a second or two, then what would his aunt say as she would hear him climax for the second time that afternoon. Mike had been like an animal since they had returned from the B&B and what they were all referring to as Mikey’s Outing.

There was no way he thought that Mike could outdo himself in the sex department, or the romantic one but in the two weeks that they had been back, he was being amazed daily by just how much more powerful their sex had become. Even the jerk off sessions had taken on a whole new meaning to them, as they found their bodies aching more and more each day, demanding that they spend more and more time inside of each other and he wondered if maybe he was being selfish. After all, they hadn’t been spending too much time with Keith or Tommy or dad and Chris, but it was almost as if they seemed to understand.

He still hadn’t gotten all the facts clear from anyone on just what had happened on the camping trip other than a few brief words. His dad of course had started it off by thanking him for the tip on the zippers, which puzzled him because he hadn’t given him that tip and all he got from the two boys was wide grins and giggles. It was strange too, the way Tommy seemed to follow his dad around at night, and a couple of times when he had come into the den to sit, he found Tommy curled up in his dad’s side.

The sight of Tommy next to his dad was nothing new, after all Tommy had more or less been living there for awhile now but since they had come home it was like there was a difference between everyone. Hell, they were both calling dad ‘dad’ which was somewhat cute, but at the start it kind of bugged him until he figured it out.

Standing there, he had watched Tommy and his dad horse playing, and it bugged him and he could feel the hairs on his arms standing on edge until his heart started to kick in which was the same time that Mike put his arm around Billy’s shoulder and stood there with him. He didn’t say a word and yet Billy knew that he knew, that he had sensed the sudden anger in his lover and his eyes misted a little as he watched the gruff lawyer toss the young blond 13 year old high up in the air and then it hit him. He was feeling jealous and he had no reason for that.

It all sort of just flooded into him then, and he felt Mike’s arm squeeze his shoulder tighter and he turned to look into the pool of green and the deep passion that always was reflected in those emerald eyes. God, it felt so safe to be in his arms, to feel him even though they were only touching. His arms on Billy’s shoulder made him shake a little as he stared out at the scene and then he knew what had bugged him. He missed that time, those precious younger years when a kid could be a kid and a dad could be a dad. They had lost that, just as their whole family had lost its anchor back then.

The sudden death of his mother had made his childhood short, and seeing Tommy frolicking with his dad, was something he had missed out on and it was that which had tugged as his heart, made him feel uncomfortable but then, as he continued to watch he realized something else. He could see the tears around the corners of his father’s eyes and every few seconds the man would get a wistful look, as if he was far away in a distant land, and then he would suddenly come back to that moment, with renewed energy and Billy knew instantly where his father had wandered to. He knew it and he felt tears in his own eyes then, because his father had the same regrets as he did, the same missed moments and it still tore at the man’s heart, just as it tore at his heart.

Understanding that he shared the same feelings of loss with his father was something he knew before, but he never really saw it before and the idea that through Tommy and Keith, his father could experience that loss was something that he had never considered. Now, watching them, he could feel the healing in the room, and he knew that what he had sacrificed, his father had lost ten fold if not a thousand fold.

Mike had made tender love to him that night, and he had cried in his arms, as the pain of his lost childhood had seemed overwhelming to him. Mike had been super, tenderer than a feather resting on cotton and yet the force of their union and the explosion of their love had been more intense than he had thought possible. It hadn’t ended there either, and when he cried in Mike’s arms, he could feel his father’s breath on his cheeks, and he could hear his soothing voice, telling him how much he loved him and yet when he opened his eyes all he could see was Mike’s face, the love and passion written all over every inch of that handsome face.

They had talked long into the night too, and when they finally fell asleep, he felt at peace with his feelings. He knew now that what he had gone through was all part of a plan, one that made it all come together now. It was like; well like he had to go through that loss in order to find his love and that in turn was able to bring his father back to him. They had been lost back then, and if he hadn’t been so lost, so desperate, he might not have taken the chance, the risk, to reach out for Mike and then where would he be now? No, he couldn’t get back the missed time with his father, but because of that, he at least had Mike and just as importantly, he had his father back.

Looking at it, if he hadn’t found Mike, hadn’t let his love reach out, and then touch his father, Tommy might not have the chance he now had, and his situation was different. Just as Mike seemed to tell him, his love had been a spark that was setting in motion a whole slew of other things and maybe if he was honest, it was also, what the minister had said so many years earlier. Damn, he really didn’t want to give the guy that kind of credit, but he had to admit, it was the love that he had for Mike that finally gave his dad the chance to set aside his own grief and now look at him?

He never thought he’d see the day his dad would be sitting at a dinner table, eating a marshmallow and saying that yep, it did kind of taste like cum. God, he had spit his milk clear across the table and the sounds of Keith and Tommy’s giggles were like music to his ears now. He also knew that even in the worse of times, his father did love him but that he just didn’t know how to express it through his grief. Tommy didn’t seem to have that, and now because Seth was whole again, he could help and wasn’t that really what it all came down to?

Billy knew his family had an obligation, one his mother had always insisted on, and for the most part, he had done his best to honour that obligation. He still once a month went down to the local soup kitchen to help serve, even Mike now went with him and each time they went, he would come home to lay in Mike’s arms and just hug him. They were so lucky and nothing could drive that home more than seeing the faces of people who wouldn’t be eating if it weren’t for that soup kitchen.

Thinking of how Tommy had looked when Mike and Chris brought him and Keith home, after Keith’s mom had freaked out, flashed before his eyes once more. He could almost reach out and feel the pain the young boy carried inside of his tiny heart, and yet he hadn’t surrendered to it, he hadn’t given up and so now, he had a chance, a chance at just being happy.

He was still trying to piece it all together and during that whole time, he would catch his father staring at him when he thought Billy wasn’t looking. It was almost as if he was scared of him, as if he had some terrible secret that he was afraid Billy would find out and it rather nagged at him. Mike had noticed it too but said that given time, Seth would tell him what was on his mind, still, being himself, he didn’t feel like waiting.

The only trouble was, Mike was insatiable these days and he just really didn’t have a chance to get to talk to his father alone. Billy almost jumped as Mike’s tongue suddenly flashed down his balls and licked at the start of his buttocks and he could feel his heart suddenly race and he almost dropped the phone. He stifled a cry of pleasure that made his aunt actually ask him if he was all right.

Mike laughed as he heard Billy apologizing, telling her he stubbed his toe, which only made Mike race down and lick Billy’s big toe. The sensation travelled quickly up Billy’s leg and made his whole body shudder as he tried to keep the conversation from deteriorating but it was getting more difficult with each passing second.

Finally he was able to set the phone down and as he did he glanced down to see Mike resting his back against the desk, his one hand gently running up and down Billy’s inner leg, slowly rubbing the thigh muscles then down to rub the full leg, then back up and with each touch, Billy could feel his heart beating next to his.

His eyes glowed as he stared down at the smiling jock, enjoying the sensation of just being Mike’s centre, as if there was nothing else in the entire world that mattered now that they could reach out and touch each other. Mike’s face was split wide open in a smile of pure rapture as he just caressed Billy’s leg, his fingers every now and then prodding the flesh, poking the strong growing muscles that quivered to the sudden touch. It all was part of his complete satisfaction, nothing seemed to be so important as to just enjoy the love that filled his young life.

“So?”

“So what?”

“What was so important?”

“Oh, yeah, she is making some fancy dress for my cousin, and her dummy got busted, she wanted to borrow the one my mom had”

“So, you gotta go find it and take it over?”

“Huh? Uh, no, she’s coming here to use it, wants to check the sewing machine too, or something like that”

“You don’t know?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know what she was babbling about, I mean you weren’t exactly making it easy for me to concentrate”

“Well Clinton had no problems. Haha”

“You Pig!”

“Haha, yep, but then again, it wasn’t like it was Hilary under there”

“Oh God, you been talking with Dad again? Mind you, nah, your butt isn’t anywhere near as big as Monica’s”

“Gee thanks, and I though you liked my butt”

“Oh I do, I do, and if you will come with me over there to the bed maybe I can show you just how much I do like it”

“Now who’s the pig? Huh?”

“Guilty as Charged! Haha”

“Well, we don’t have time, I gotta go pick up Keith and Tommy from school”

“Damn, I forgot about that”

“Yeah, did you tell Chris we have a football meeting after school tomorrow?”

“No, I forgot”

“That’s my wife, a typical blond, haha”

“Bastard, I am not typical, I am special”

Mike stood up and in one swift moment of time, he had reached across to wrap Billy into his young arms, surprising the blond boy and planted a huge wet kiss on his lips. Billy’s eyes rolled backwards into his head as his heart raced forward, thumping and pounding inside of his chest as he felt and tasted the sudden juice of his lover. Mike’s scent wafted into his nostrils and he almost choked as the powerful aroma made him weak and his muscles seemed to suddenly go into uncontrollable spasms.

“Special don’t cover it, God you are so much more to me, but I gotta go pick them up, when is your Aunt showing up?”

“Shit, you are making me cry again, uh, oh I don’t know, anytime now I guess”

“Well unless she likes to see what I am drooling over, you better get some damn pants on, besides, that sight is for my eyes only, got it blondie?”

Mike reached down and gave Billy’s hard cock a quick squeeze and then he just looking into the powder blue eyes, seeing the slight mist of his tears and with one finger, he reached out and wiped the tears off, then he placed the finger on his lips and it was like he was kissing the tears away. Billy almost fainted as his heart went into overtime and he could sense just how much Mike loved him.

If Billy only knew how hard it was for him to turn and go to pull on his pants, he would be weeping himself. Damn, just touching Billy brought out some of the wildest feelings he had ever experienced, and instead of becoming normal or commonplace, they seemed to grow in intensity. Mike had no idea when this wild ride of passion would end, but deep inside of his heart he felt like it would never cease, never diminish and his mind kept wondering how his poor mortal body could survive such intense loving. His heart didn’t seem to care, and deep down in his soul, he knew he didn’t either because that was all he ever wanted, to just love Billy.

He turned to look at Billy sitting in the chair and he could feel that Billy was feeling the same way. Mike wanted to reach out and hold his lover, but he knew that if they touched, even just in passing he would wind up soiling his short and God knows what else would follow. There just wasn’t time and he smiled, a sense of regret in his heart and a deep sigh seemed to roll out into the emptiness of the room, and Billy finally looked up at him, the same look in his blue eyes.

“You better hurry back jock boy”

“Yeah, you better not dally with the Aunt now”

“Shit, yeah, uh, you stopping for soda’s on the way back?”

“Most likely, they kind of like stopping and going into the store with me”

“I can imagine, strutting around with their great big hero”

“Haha, yeah well they like doing it with you too, specially Tommy”

“Haha, yeah, well grab me a coke on the way back then”

“Nope, no coke for you”

“Hey! Why the hell not?”

“Orange juice, apple juice, even V-8 if you want, but no soda’s, you are in training now”

“SHIT”

“Hey, that’s the price, besides it makes you taste sweeter”

“Oh well in that case, I’ll have some OJ”

“Haha, okay, mind you I could make you one of my protein drinks when I get back”

“NOT ON YOUR LIFE JOCK BOY! God, that stuff tastes rude, how the hell do you swallow it? OH SHIT, DON’T YOU SAY It!”

“Haha, okay, damn I gotta run, kiss?”

Billy just smiled and ran from the chair to fall into Mike’s open arms and they kissed briefly. Their tongues licked and touching each other as they held tightly. Both bodies trembled with the embrace and they could both feel the other’s heart pounding and it was like the two organs were communicating to each other, filling the other in on how they were since their last embrace. God it felt good.

He watched with tears in his eyes as Mike ran towards the parked truck and climbed in. Just before he got in though, he saw his man turn around and stare up at the top floor, his smile beaming even in the glare of the bright afternoon sun and he knew that Mike was thinking of him. He could feel him reaching for his heart as he turned back to get into the truck. Billy’s eyes were misted and he walked away from the window as the truck left and he roamed his bedroom feeling a bit lost.

Finally he dressed, knowing his Aunt would be driving up in minutes and as he combed his blond hair he spied a pair of shorts resting on the bed and he walked over to them, picking them up and he breathed in deeply, smelling Mike and his heart fluttered, his lungs gasped to suck in more of that aroma and he wondered where his had gone, and then he just smiled. Damn, it was like if they couldn’t be together, they had to have something that would remind them of the other, and he stopped his search for his pair of shorts, his heart knew they were tucked into Mike’s pocket just as he was tucking Mike’s into his own pocket.

As the gate alarm sounded, signalling the arrival of his Aunt, he was glad that the school didn’t have those spot searches anymore. He and Mike sure would have to explain why they were carrying a pair of soiled shorts in their pockets. It was bad enough to have to empty your pockets to insure you weren’t carrying weapons, but to have everyone standing around watching as you unrolled a pair of shorts, man that would really be embarrassing.

The sound of his intercom interrupted his dream of Seth and he spoke gruffly into the offending machine, wishing it was the end of the day or that he could find an excuse to call Seth. The other voice was a bit hurt by his tone and he grimaced, knowing he wasn’t being fair but when she announced who was waiting in his outer office, all thoughts of being annoyed simply vanished and his groin suddenly grew very hot and he could feel his pants tightening around the crotch as he almost yelled to have his surprise visitor given permission to enter.

Chris jumped from his chair, knocking over some papers but he ignored them as he rushed to get to the door before his visitor could get there. He was almost halfway there when the knock came and the door began to open. He stopped in his tracks, a wide grin growing across his face as he waited for Seth to enter.

As the door opened Chris could see the faces of his outer office staff, as their female eyes seemed fixed to the tall strong built man as he entered Chris’ office. He could see the desire in their faces as they followed his every movement and he smiled to himself, feeling very satisfied because they could drool all they wanted, he was the one who got to unwrap this package of pure man each and every night. God it felt good to have that knowledge, would be nicer if he could share it, but such was the peculiarities of life in that the staff could drool, glare, gaze, and even comment but he had to remain silent.

Seth could feel all the eyes on him and under normal circumstances it would feel nice, but right now he had more important things on his mind and their stares was only a reminder to him of the precarious ledge he and his whole family was perched on. Damn this world, that allowed infidelity to be acceptable but a truly loving relationship had to be hidden simply because it was two males instead of the so-called traditional one of a man and a women. Hell, even lesbian relationships seemed more acceptable to the so-called right thinkers but let it be two men and the gloves were off.

His stride was strong and purposeful, but the pain in his heart was tearing at him like no other pain he had ever experienced. It was like he was facing that grief again, facing that sudden all encompassing terror that came with the sudden loss of someone special. He needed to reach out, to hold Chris and so the journey towards his office had begun, but not before he had felt the icy chill running down his spine attack his heart.

His face was pinched and anxious as he entered Chris’ office and his eyes managed to take in the surprise look on Chris’ face and the warm feeling of love that was sparkling in Chris’ eyes as he entered the room. He also noticed how quickly it changed when Chris saw the look on his face and he marvelled at how amazing it was that another person could read him so well. He had spent a lifetime learning how to hide his emotions, how to control his face so no jury or witness could read his thoughts.

Seth’s reputation as a master of the stare and of control was well known in the courtrooms and boardrooms of their community. Yet, only two people had ever been able to simply walk past the mask he presented to the world. One had been his wife, and she had such a way to get by his façade that he thought she had to be a mystic, and now he had Chris.

Each new day, he could see that Chris could read more and more his thoughts, which scared him at times, just as it did when his wife could simply look at his set face and call him on whatever it was that had been troubling his heart.  Even now that vision would make him tremble a little in fear, and yet at the same time it made his heart do somersaults inside, as if glad that it was being read so easily because all he really had inside, was pure honest love for her and now that love was being directed towards Chris. God, life could be so damn complicated and yet simple at the same time.

“What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think something is wrong?”

“Yeah, and it is snowing outside for the first time in Southern California since eons ago, you got that attorney face on, so what is it?”

“Tommy’s father called me this morning”

“Oh? Doesn’t he usually call on Friday’s?”

“Yeah, to find out how he’s doing, but this time he wants to meet with me, man to man, he said”

“Shit, that sounds rather ominous”

“Yeah… Chris, I am going to ask him”

Chris sat on the edge of his desk, staring at Seth’s determined face as he sat in the chair in front of him. He could see the steel in the eyes, the glare of determination that had made his own heart quiver each time he had been able to see it and he pitied the poor fool that tried to cross Seth when he had that stare in place. Yet, despite that, he knew that the heart was being squeezed by his doubts and his fears too, that he was as scared as maybe the poor person who was on the receiving end of that stare.

It amazed him at how much emotion Seth could have boiling up inside of him and yet his hands rarely shook, his voice rarely wavered from its rich baritone, but he knew different, he knew that Seth was full of deep fire and emotions. God, their love making alone had become like a living legend in his own mind, the way Seth could suddenly roar into life like a lioness defending his cub or purr like a self satisfied lion after a particularly good hunt.

“Are you sure this is the right time Seth? I mean, what if he has something else on his mind”

“No, he’s going to take Tommy away, I know it”

“Come on, how do you know that? I mean for Christ’s sake, he’s been fine with letting him stay with us for what now, almost 4 months? Why would he all of a sudden be wanting to come and take him home?”

“Damn, you sound just like Taylor, but trust me, he wants his son back”

“Well, maybe that is because we both are not quite so emotional at the moment”

“Hell, that is what he said too, look Chris, before I do this, I need to know, do you support me on this?”

“SETH! How… I mean how, shit, how could you ask that? Of course I support you on whatever you want, I mean, hell, I love you”

Seth leaned back in the chair, his deep concern and fears suddenly pushed aside for a moment as he saw the pained expression on Chris’ face and he knew he wasn’t handling this well. Damn it, life was going so good, he had his sons back, he had found someone who could actually touch his heart with their love and his memories of his wife were no longer tainted by the raw pain and grief that had consumed him so much for so long. And here he was, hurting someone whose only crime was that he fell in love with a gruff old lawyer.

“I am sorry Chris, shit, I didn’t mean it like it sounded, I know you love me, God I have never felt so happy as I do when I am with you, please, I am sorry, it is just…”

“I know Seth, sort of how I felt when Barbara more or less threw Keith at me, and well, Tommy was part of that package, so I know how you are feeling”

“Still, I shouldn’t be so damn… it is just, well I don’t know, this is so sudden, like I don’t know but ever since we got back from that camping trip from the San Bernardino Mountains, it is like I am walking on eggshells.”

“Why? I mean, okay I know you have thought about making Tommy your own, but he has a family, and yes I know, they seem to not want him and yet, I mean Seth if they didn’t care would his father be phoning you every week, would he have given you guardianship if he didn’t care?”

“I know Chris, it is the same arguments Taylor used and hell, the same arguments I have used as well, it is just that my heart tells me I can’t let him go, that he is better off in a house full of gays than if he was to go back to that household, even if they did sort out their problems, I know it isn’t rational, and it does leave us all open for a hell of a time if the Lambert’s fight me or I fight them”

“And so you are torn, you want him as your son but you are afraid it’ll mean losing the rest of us?”

“Yes”

Chris stood up and with a pat on Seth’s shoulder he walked over to his door, opening it he told his staff to hold his calls, he would be in conference for awhile and then he locked the door and walked back to stand in front of Seth. He looked down on the man, seeing the concern written all over his face and his own heart was feeling like it too was being ripped into tiny shards. The pain was real and he needed a second to catch his breath.

He didn’t rest on the desk this time, instead he hunched down, squatting on his feet as he lowered himself to now look up at Seth’s firm jaw, the set chin and the steel eyes that shimmered in the office light. Chris knew that they were at a crossroads and he stilled his shaking limbs as he reached deep inside, praying silently for divine guidance.

It was strange, the silence seemed to envelop the two men and he could feel his heart slowing, the beat becoming less and less and as he looked up at Seth, he could feel the love in his soul rising upwards. His whole body became consumed by the passion it held for Seth and as his own eyes misted over slightly, visions of a laughing Seth flashed across his eyes as he drove the golf cart towards a dense thicket of bushes, his shirt undone and his eyes glazed with the fever of his lust for Chris, then he saw the wild look of love as his body shook and quivered while beneath his strong masculine body a bed gave way, and all through it all his heart could feel the tender love that he was held in. No, this was a crossroads, one he knew would come eventually, he just didn’t realize how soon it would come.

“I am not going anywhere Seth, you are stuck with Keith and me for eternity my friend, if you’ll have us”

Seth was having trouble breathing. His entire body was pent up with nervous energy as if he was waiting for some judge to pass sentence on him. It was no different than when he had asked Chrissy to be his wife, the way he had held his breath and felt the sweat dripping from his brow as he stared at her face, waiting for the rejection he was sure would follow. Just as it was then, it felt the same now as he heard Chris’ words of love and support. She too had surprised him, by not just screaming yes but by reaching out to take his hands and holding them up to her face, and her eyes had gazed into his and he had never in his entire life felt so much love pass into his body.

He had felt the jolt as her love had reached into his heart and had held it just as she was holding his hands up to her face. The eyes had sparkled and glowed as if the brightest stars in the heavens had come out of the sky to rest in her face and gaze at him. Seth had been dumbfounded then, as he was now, by the intense love that simply wrapped around him and held him and once more, that moment was his to feel.

Seth shook, his entire body was quivering and trembling as he felt Chris’ love wash through his body, chasing away his fear of abandonment, erasing his doubts of doing the right thing, and above all, filling him with the deep warmth of pure unconditional love.

“Chris…”

“I know”

“Yeah, so do I… what do I do?”

“What did Taylor suggest?”

“Most likely the same as what you are thinking, he says I should find out what Mr Lambert wants and then put off any confrontation until at least tomorrow”

“Sounds like he’s gonna be a hell of a good lawyer, like the old man”

“Thanks, I guess he’s right, it is just, well…”

“I know, so when is the meeting?”

“At six thirty tonight, he doesn’t get off work till six.”

“Wow, that’s late, you going to stay here or go home first?”

“I don’t know, how do I face Tommy with this on my mind?”

“With me beside you, but if you don’t go home, he’s only going to worry more, I mean you can’t hide this from him”

“I know, it is just, well what if you and Taylor are right and it is nothing, then I’ll have got him all flustered for nothing, I mean maybe I should wait till after the meeting, so maybe, well maybe I should stay here until then, I can grab a sandwich or something”

“Sure, maybe that would be okay, what about Billy though?”

“Christ, thanks, now it really gets complicated, I mean, how can I go to try and adopt Tommy and not discuss it with Billy and Mike? Shit, I didn’t think about that either, I guess that means I have to go home first”

“What about Taylor? How did he feel about it?”

Seth sat there, his eyes brooding as he went over all that Chris had said. He knew in his heart that adopting Tommy was right, but doubts were slowly creeping in as he pondered all that he had to do. He didn’t really know how Taylor felt, though he had given his support but the unknown was Billy and Mike. Funny, to think of needing Mike’s support as well, but then he realized that even Taylor had talked with Jeremy before he gave his own support on the adoption issue. Billy wouldn’t move without Mike’s input and it was really like the two of them were Siamese twins, joined not just at the hip but as if they shared the same heart.

“He was okay with it Chris, he did discuss it with Jeremy first, but he did seem to think it was right, but Billy, now that is something else, how do I tell my son, the one who really missed out on having his dad around, that I want to adopt a child who will receive all the attention he didn’t? God, am I that selfish Chris?”

“Selfish? No, I don’t think this is being motivated by that, do you?”

“I don’t know, I mean my heart says no but then, well, it does feel so good to feel him resting at my side or sitting on my lap, and now that he calls me poppa, it just melts my heart each time I hear that”

“It is a nice feeling isn’t it? I don’t know Seth, Billy is pretty smart, I think he’ll know why you are doing this”

“That’s what I am afraid of Chris, he is smart and maybe too smart at times, I mean he knows my motives long before I do at times, least it seems that way. Am I doing this because I want to recapture what I missed with him?”

“That isn’t what is driving you Seth, maybe it’s a spin off, a side perk, but I just don’t see you as the type who would be so driven as you are now by something as flimsy as that reason, no I think you are doing it because for whatever reason, Tommy has touched your heart and maybe that is how it is meant to be, I don’t know, hell I am not really the one to ask anyways, I mean, come on look how long it took me to realize how much I needed my own son”

Seth looked over at Chris and he could feel the man’s love reaching up to hold him. God it felt so wonderful and even thought the questions still existed, they didn’t seem so daunting as he stared at Chris’ eyes and felt the warmth flowing into his body.

“We are quite the duo, aren’t we?”

“Haha, yeah, the lawyer and the financial manager, not to mention bed breakers, golf cart washers, haha”

“HAHA, yeah, we have certainly done some wild stuff, you know, I think we should just chuck the rest of the day and head off to the park or something like that.”

“God that would be wonderful, but you know we can’t”

“Yeah, I guess, and I should maybe start to get some idea of just what I am going to say to Billy and Mike”

“Seth… he loves you, they both love you, that’ll be enough”

The two men stared at each other, the words no longer necessary as they each reached out to touch the other, not in any physical sense, but their souls had slowly risen and reached out, to lightly but oh so noticeably touched. He could feel the tremors racing through Chris’ body just as he knew that Chris could feel his own sense of peace as the waves of Chris’ love flowed into his body. If this wasn’t love, he didn’t think he could survive anything else, it was just too potent and thoughts of a missed lifetime with Billy still ached at his heart, but he could feel the shards of his heart slowly healing, slowly joining back to the rest of his heart.

They stared, lost in their own deep thoughts, one wondering how he had ever gone through life without the other, while the other wondered how could one person have been graced with not one true love but with a second, and now was being given a chance to make up for the lost years as well. The loud incessant sound of Chris’ intercom buzzer broke through the reverie and both men turned to stare at the offending instrument.

“Yes? I said I didn’t want to be disturbed. Who? Oh, just a minute then”

“What is it?”

“It’s Taylor, he’s outside, says he needs to talk to you”

“Shit, now what?”

Chris smiled as he walked over and unlocked his door. He opened it wide and beckoned Taylor to come in and then he shut the door again, once more telling his secretary to keep all calls until further notice. She just looked at him, perplexed but compliant.

“Sorry Dad, but I thought I should talk to you, uh, not interrupting any mid afternoon grope am I? Haha”

“God, no Taylor you aren’t, what is it?”

“Well, uh, before you blow a gasket, I phoned home”

“WHAT?”

“Cool down dad, I didn’t spill the beans, but well,  I thought, and Jeremy agreed, that maybe it would be easier if you talked to Billy before meeting with Tommy’s dad, so I phoned home to…”

“Jeremy agreed? What…”

“Let me finish dad, okay?”

“Listen to your son Seth”

“Oh now you two are ganging up on me? Fine, go ahead Taylor”

“Okay, anyways, I am swinging by to grab Jeremy and then we are going to go to the house and pick up Keith and Tommy and take them out for dinner at Pizza Hut, that way you can talk with Billy and Mike and then come back for the meeting without having to explain what is happening to Tommy, sound okay?”

Seth sat there, staring at his eldest son and he felt his chest swelling from pride and love. Here he was, thinking that he was alone, that only Chris was there and yet his son had sensed it, had known how much he needed to discuss this with Billy and had made it easier for them both. With Keith and Tommy away, Billy could vent if needed but whatever was the result, at least it would give him time to prepare before facing the innocent eyes of Tommy.

He looked at Taylor, seeing how much he resembled his moth, how his head was tilted just that way, how the face was set in that look, as if daring him to argue with him, and yet in the eyes he didn’t see any stubbornness, just total and complete love. It really was just like watching her when she had made a decision that he might not agree with, and she knew he would argue it, but the determination was there and he found his one hand gently twirling and touching his wedding band. That simple band of gold, that had passed from her hand onto his finger and which in all the time that had passed since that day, had never once left his finger.

The tears welled up in his eyes and he couldn’t speak for a few minutes as he struggled with the raging emotions deep inside of his soul. He saw her there; pride glowing in her own face and her long hair flowed as if a gentle breeze was blowing. It was almost as if she was saying, ‘see Seth, he is your son too, you have done well my love’ and he felt her touch, felt her love once more as it flowed within him, hand in hand with Chris’ love.

“Thank you son”

“Uh, well there is more”

“Do I dare ask?”

“Uh, well, I didn’t bring it with me, but well, I did some research, and I think that if you know a good judge, a friend, if you can get Tommy’s dad to sign off on it, you could skate through the process and make it all legal by Monday or Tuesday. I can have the papers for the court ready before the court clerk’s office closes tomorrow, and I have a draft of an agreement for Mr Lambert to sign off on too, just in case”

“How?  I mean, yeah I know a judge or two and all, but you said this morning I should wait, not…”

“Yeah, but if it isn’t what you think, then yeah I guess you’d have to wait, but if it is, well no harm in being ready is there?”

“No Taylor, there isn’t… I don’t know what to say, you did all this since this morning?”

“Yeah, well I cheated, I told Mr Beamer that you had me doing something else that was a priority and so he left me alone”

“Haha, that must have gone over big with John, okay, so now you think I should discuss it with Mr Lambert?”

“Only if he is pushing to get Tommy back, I mean you can get him off guard that way, if he tries to take him back, with some threat or assertion, you can hit back with wanting to adopt”

“On what grounds?”

“Abandonment and abuse of a minor”

“Bit antagonistic isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think he’s the type to stand up to that kind of an attack, if he was, well, would have been so ready to give Tommy up?”

“Well, I don’t know…”

“Look Dad, if he didn’t frightened easy, nothing his wife said or did would have made him give Tommy to us to look after, never mind the way he caved so easily when you asked for temporary guardianship, I mean he could have fought then, no, I think if he feels like he’s going to be really attacked, he’ll give in, and we all win, you get another son, I get a new brother and Tommy gets a real family that loves him”

Seth just stared at Taylor. He could see the temples pulsating as Taylor spoke and he could literally feel the passion in his voice as he presented his case, just like he had been a long time ago. God, was he ever that one minded? Looking at Taylor, he saw himself, and yet he didn’t either. There was something to him that was different, the self assurance, the forthrightness of his approach and sitting there, his hand closed around Chris’ hand, he realized just how much Taylor had blossomed into a man.

As he stared he heard the soft whisper in his ears, the soft sweet gentle tones of her voice telling him how much Taylor was just like him back then, at his age. He could hear her whispering to him, saying:

“Look my love, see why I fell in love with you and why I still hold your spirit next to my heart and why my love is always with you, he is you and you are him, he speaks what is in his heart, and isn’t that where the truth lies? Don’t doubt him or our other boys, they love you as I love you, and now you can see it as well as feel it”

The room seemed to be spinning and yet he knew it wasn’t. The words inside his head were real, he wasn’t dreaming or was he? How could he hear her voice, how could any of this be real and yet as his heart beat and his soul filled him with her love, he could feel Chris next to him, he could feel Chris’ heart as it beat next to his own. Yes, looking at Taylor he saw the fire, the passion, that once had consumed him as he fought for the rights of those who couldn’t fight on their own, and so yes, Taylor was right, he had to be ready and this wasn’t a fight for the faint of heart or the weak of spirit. Seeing Taylor he knew that no matter how this battle ended, he would remain standing, so yes, bring on the world for he was ready to fight for what was right.

“Well, all I have left to do is talk to your brother then”

“Yeah, and I know, but if he comes around, well that’s maybe the hardest part over with, I mean this guy Lambert, he has nothing on Billy when it comes to being a fighter”

“Haha, yes well there aren’t too many who can equal his determination, except maybe you”

“ME? Haha, I am a pantywaist compared to your present youngest son, soon to be middle child, mind you, Mike has tamed her a bit”

“Oh Taylor, such an optimist, Billy will shoot you for that, but yeah, Mike does have a way with him, no I won’t say ‘her’ as I value my life, but…”

“Haha, okay well Billy isn’t here so no way he will find out less one of you squeals, haha”

Panic gripped him as he heard the sounds of the gate alarm followed by the shrieks of two young boys along with the strident call of his lover. Damn, they sure as hell didn’t take long and here he was, helping his aunt in the one way he knew would be grist for the dinner table tonight and for months to come.

“Please Aunt Karen, let me get out of this”

“Oh hush William, stop fidgeting, I swear you are worse than your cousin Christina”

“But Aunt Karen, I mean if they…”

“Oh come on now, besides I hear you are going out for the football team, that should end any comments those young boys may have for you”

“Yeah but that’s not till next year, really, this is embarrassing”

“Now why should it be embarrassing? You aren’t ashamed of helping your aunt and cousin are you?”

“No of course not, it is just that…”

“Hey Billy you in… uh, excuse me ma’am, uh I didn’t, uh have you seen Billy? Wow, and who is this lovely young lady? Not another daughter is it? I thought Christine was your only girl?”

“MIKE YOU ARE SO DEAD!”

“Hehe, not if I find the camera before you get that off”

“MICHAEL SHEPARD DON”T YOU DARE!”

“Hey what is Billy yelling… haha is that Billy? Wow, when did you, I mean you aren’t wearing that to the prom are you Billy?”

“TOMMY! Damn, AUNT KAARRRRRRRREN”

“Oh hush you boys, leave poor Billy alone, he’s only doing a favour for his aunt, and besides he is going to be a football star next year, so you boys leave him alone”

“A football star? Geez Billy, hope none of the guys see this”

“Duh, no fooling Einstein”

“Yeah, or they might all want to ask you to the prom, man will the cheerleaders be pissed”

“DAMN, AUNT KARREN!  PLEASE!”

“You boys stop teasing William now, after all, he is just doing a favour, could be one of you next”

The sound of laughter could be heard throughout the house as everyone disappeared, leaving Billy to suffer alone while his Aunt blithely went on her merry way, humming while sticking pins here and there, pushing and pulling at the thin lace fabric that flowed all around Billy’s indignant body.

There was small comfort that at least Mike really didn’t go for the camera, because if he did, well that jock boy could kiss getting any of him for a few years. Damn, it felt so uncomfortable, standing there in his shorts while wearing a damn full-length white and blue lace evening gown. He wished he had refused, but that just wasn’t his nature, so now he would just have to suffer the comments at dinner.

“Here, William, slide this inside the top now”

“Aunt Karen, no way, they will make me look like, no way”

“Now come on, I have to see if I have enough left up front, and these are about your cousins right size, be a dear now”

“But, oh okay”

Billy slid the wadded tissues paper into the front of the dress, popping the top outwards as if he had major mammary glands. God, to think that these were the things that turned on so many of his friends at school when all he cared about was the lovely bulges, but oh well, one day they’d see how wrong they were.

The sudden shout of ‘SAY CHEESE’ startled him and he turned his face up with a look of stunned disbelief on his face. The giggles of two young boys echoed in his ears as his eyes were suddenly blinded by a brilliant white flash. Dots appeared in front of his eyes and he felt disorientated as he heard the giggles roaring around him and his aunt chuckling to herself as she went about sticking in pins all around his make belief breasts.

“You are dead Shepard, I swear…”

“Now temper temper Bradford, or this might find its way into the year book under oddities or maybe hobbies of the rich and famous? Haha”

“Mike… damn you are really gonna pay for this”

“Hey now is that anyway to talk to your personal publicist? I mean with this picture, I bet I can get you at least 400 extra votes”

“Huh? Extra votes? What are you jabbering about?”

“Why, for your campaign, as the schools next PROM QUEEN”

Billy could feel his face turning red as his aunt snickered in her hanky, and he could hear Keith and Tommy giggling behind the open door. Damn, he was nailed on this one but he wasn’t about to give up easy. He lunged forward, forgetting that he was on a stool and that his aunt had a fist full of pins, not to mention the dress itself.

The yelp of pain echoed loudly in the room and the laughter rang out as Billy sprawled on the floor. The dress high up in the air, one bare leg showing as it lay on top of the small step stool. Part of the dress had hiked upwards, covering the back of his head and the expression of surprise on his face was priceless, specially as the camera flashed again and again, taking a true account of it all for posterity.

It took his aunt another 45 minutes of prodding and poking before she was satisfied that the dress was ready for her sewing. Admonishing Billy to be careful she finally set him free and he waited, as she packed everything up and headed downstairs to her car. He was fuming, or at least he thought he was, but in reality, the more he thought about it all, the less angry he became. Actually, if he was totally honest, he really wasn’t angry at all, after all, he did make a good-looking girl as well as guy, it just meant he had hidden talents.

As his aunt drove off and the noise of her departing vehicle was heard throughout the house, he could hear the place grow very quiet and still, and then suddenly a door slammed shut, and he knew where Keith and Tommy were, hoping that he would still honour the closed door rule of the house. Boy, where they ever wrong in that, but first he needed to find that hubby of his. Mike was really in deep shit for taking those pictures, and he had to get them back, otherwise if they wound up in the wrong hands, like his dad’s or worse, Taylor’s, he would be cooked for life.

He searched downstairs, wondering just where his dark haired trickster was hiding out. Billy searched by the pool, the hot tub and even at the apartment over the garage but no Mikey and he began to feel concerned. The ache in his heart suddenly grew and he could literally feel the pain as he felt so alone, so empty and then he looked up at the stairs and he began to climb up there. Maybe Keith and Tommy would know where Mike had disappeared to and besides, he had to tell them they were being treated to pizza with Taylor and Jeremy.

Thinking about it, as he climbed the stairs, he wondered why Taylor was coming by so early and just what was it that Mr. Lambert had on his mind that he needed to see Dad? His feet felt like they had ten ton weights on each as he slowly climbed upwards, the loneliness growing on his heart as he missed feeling Mike’s breath on his neck or at watching his cute firm butt as he lead the way up to their room.

‘DAMN’ it hit him as his foot reached the top of the stairs. He could feel his heart suddenly race forward, the emptiness vanished as he knew exactly where Mike had gone, the one place where he would be safe, sort of, and he could feel his heart shaking, like it should have known and the smile reappeared on his face as he knocked on the munchkins door.

“We’re busy!” a pair of panting voices yelled through the door.

“Tough, Get unbusy”

“But Billy…”

“Suit yourselves then, don’t blame me when Taylor and Jeremy get here to take you two out for pizza and you aren’t ready”

“WHAT? Pizza? Cool, uh we’ll be ready, how soon?”

Billy snickered a little as he looked at his watch and said; “Few minutes or so”

“We’ll be ready!”

Billy listened as heard two bodies thumbing and small feet padding around the room as they rushed to get dressed and cleaned up. He waited a few seconds until he heard the water running in their bathroom before he sauntered away, a big grin on his face as he headed towards his own room.

He opened to door to see exactly what he knew he would see. Sitting upright on the bed, was his hubby but as his eyes narrowed a little, he couldn’t help but to begin laughing. From deep in his stomach he could feel the joy welling up and he couldn’t help himself, his laughter rose as he stared at the scene spread out on the bed for him. God, no wonder he loved him.

“So? Don’t you like?”

“Haha, like? Well I don’t know there, you are my jock boy aren’t you? I mean it is rather hard to tell with that get up on”

“What? You don’t think it accentuates my titties enough? I could stuff some more paper in it I suppose… but then you are the expert at that!”

Mike pushed up on the padded end of the bra that he had stretched over his young chest, the stuffing of tissue paper bulging out from around the edges as he tried to push outwards with his chest.

“Yeah well maybe we should get you a training bra to start with, haha God Mike you look so funny, where the hell did you get the bra from?”

“Well, I could say from your closet but then you’d kill me, I guess we could say it was under your dad’s pillow, but then he’d disown me, so I guess we’ll just say it was in the sewing room”

“Haha, well I don’t know, doubt if it was from under dad’s pillow, it wouldn’t stretch across his chest, maybe it was under Chris’?”

“Haha, could be, so  come on, what do you think? Do I look sexy enough for you there Billy?”

“I don’t know, maybe I should take a picture and see what the other’s think?”

“Camera’s over on your desk”

Billy looked at Mike, the love overpowering as he felt it wrap around him. Typical Mike, he had taken a picture of Billy in a compromised situation and here he was, making a similar circumstance for himself and willing to let Billy have the evidence as well. Yeah, Mike did love him and the image of a semi nude Mike lying on their bed wrapped in a pair of frilly panties and a white bra was almost too much. How the hell could he ever express how much he loved his man?

“I don’t know Mike, camera might break, uh you dress up like this often?”

“Do you?”

“No, rarely when you are around anyway, prefer the more natural approach”

“Hehe, me too, but you know what, you really did look good in that dress, I mean, shit, Billy you looked so innocent, and man if you were a girl, fuck the sight of you would make me turn straight”

“Flattery ma’am will get you everywhere”

“So they say, but I don’t see it getting me any of that Billy loving, just yet”

“haha, well I guess I could manage a bit before Taylor shows up”

“Taylor’s coming here? What for?”

“Dad has a meeting with Tommy’s dad and rather than explain it, Taylor and Jeremy are going to take Keith and Tommy out for pizza and stuff before Dad gets home, that way Tommy doesn’t get upset or something like that”

“Huh? Why would he, shit is Tommy’s dad making noises to take him back?”

“Huh? Fuck, I didn’t think about it much, I mean Aunt Karen was here and she was insisting on me helping her with the dress, God, that could be it, no wonder Dad wants to talk to me without them around”

“Whoa, dad wants to talk to you alone?”

“Yes, well I guess us, I don’t know, Taylor just said dad would explain it better after he got home”

“That sucks big time”

“I know, you really think Tommy’s dad is going to take him away? I mean he’s better off here, and what about Keith? Fuck it’ll really tear him up”

“No fooling, but, shit I don’t think your dad will let him, maybe that’s what he wants to talk about”

“How can he stop him? I mean Tommy is his blood son, how can Dad do anything?”

“I don’t know, guess he could refuse to let him go, I mean there has to be some legal way, say he is the guardian now isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he isn’t Tommy’s father, I don’t know, maybe he could claim something, those two are going to be really pissed and I don’t blame them, you really think dad could stop it?”

“I don’t know Billy, maybe, he is a good lawyer, I never thought being a parent would be so tough though, your dad really has fallen for Tommy and shit, how’s he going to tell him if he has to let him go?”

“It has to be killing him, I guess we could help, shit I feel like crying myself”

Billy had sat on the edge of the bed and he looked over at Mike, tears starting to roll down his face as he thought of life at home without the sound of Tommy’s voice and it made him shudder. He never really thought how much Tommy had become a part of his life, his family. It was eating away at him and he felt the bed shake a little as he turned back to gaze at Mike through the mist of his teary eyes.

Mike had removed the bra and despite the pain of moving in the pair of undies he had on, he slithered over to his man and wrapped his hands around the shaking shoulders. He could feel the tearing in his own heart as it contemplated the possible loss of Tommy and he felt like his whole world was desolate. Life sucked, but there had to be a way that they could prevent this from happening.

“Dad has to find a way Mike”

“He will Billy, he doesn’t give up easy, you know that”

“Yeah, we have to help him, can’t we think of something?”

“I don’t know, I mean it isn’t like he’s your dad’s son, not like Keith is Chris’”

“Why can’t he be? Why can’t we fight for him to be one? I mean, they don’t want him, you said it yourself, he’s more like our little brother than just some visitor”

“But Billy it takes more than that to make it so, I mean it is his real dad who wants him back”

“So? He only has blood relations, we have more than that, we love him”

“I know, but what can we do?”

“Hey, dad could adopt him, I mean he is the guardian, why not take it a step further?”

“I don’t know, I mean he has parents Billy, how do you adopt someone that isn’t up for adoption?”

“Yeah but they threw him away, they didn’t want him, we do so why should we now give him up just cause they think they might want him again? They lost that right when they treated him that way and gave him away, why not?”

“I don’t know, I am not the lawyer, but it seems right to me, think that is what your dad is thinking? Shit, if he is, you know this could lead to big trouble for all of us?”

“Yeah, I kind of thought that in the back of my mind, it could get hairy.”

“Yeah big time, does it scare you?”

Billy sat there, his head resting on Mike’s broad shoulder. He could feel his heart beating in tune with Mike’s and he could feel the warmth of their love for each other flowing between them. Nothing could separate them, not even distance or time because they would always have each other. He knew that, and he wondered if that was how Keith and Tommy felt? Would be interesting to know but then they were only 13, could they feel as strongly about each other as he and Mike did?

Mike’s question lingered in his heart as he stared outwards. His head was resting on Mike’s shoulder and his arm was wrapped around the warm flesh of Mike’s waist and it felt so safe, so secure but he knew exactly what could happen. Could he survive being outed now? He didn’t think it would really affect him but it would be different for Mike.

It wasn’t that Mike couldn’t handle the razzing or stuff, most likely he’d let it just roll of his back but, if anyone said anything about him, well Mike wouldn’t exactly let that go, he’d be like a lion charging and that was the danger, his precious love could actually get hurt because some ignorant jerk made a smart assed comment. God, why the fuck couldn’t people just fucking grow up? What difference did it make to them if someone was fucking someone up the ass or in the mouth? It had nothing to do with them, besides, what he did with Mike wasn’t their damn business, it was between him and Mike and their families.

“Kind of”

“of what? Being outed or that you’d wind up getting into a whole bunch of fights?”

“Me? It is you who would get into the fights, I am the passive one remember? You are the one always on top”

“Pig! Even now you can… hehe but no, it would be you in the fights, I mean…”

“Why me?”

“Easy, someone would say something about me, you’d take a swing and then, well…”

“Oh God, that is what I think about you, someone would say something about me and you would hit them, or worse”

“True, but you would stop me Billy”

“Sure, for that moment, what if I wasn’t there?”

“Then they’d get creamed and I don’t mean that kind either, but no way they gonna say things about you”

“Haha, yeah I know Mike, but well, you know I don’t think any of the people who know us would really care all that much, but, well what about the guys on the team? Wouldn’t they give you a rough time?”

“No, they might snicker a bit, but no I don’t think so, besides you will be on the team too”

“Not if this goes down, it would be too hard on you, and shit, how can I get dressed in the locker room with you there? I just thought of that, fuck, even if this doesn’t go down, how the hell am I supposed to get dressed or whatever around all them guys without little Billy getting all excited?”

“God you are a blond, we already discussed that, we go to the games dressed and come home to change after, as for practise, its generally shorts and it is always last of the day, so again, we just come straight home”

“I forgot, sorry”

Mike reached around and looked into Billy’s eyes. He could see the fear but he saw something more, he saw the glimmer of determination that was growing in both boys. They could face their own world without too much damage, as long as they remained calm or at least kept together, so it wasn’t going to be a huge problem. Yet, both of them could feel the uncertainty of how it would affect everyone else. How would Chris handle it at work? What about dad? Just how much would it cost the family if they had to fight for Tommy and could they afford it?

“You know, maybe we are stupid, but I don’t think being outed is going to hurt us, but what about Keith and Tommy? Man, it is going to be really rough on them”

“Yeah that is for sure, I know Dad and Chris would manage okay, Taylor and Jeremy are pretty well out to their friends anyways, so other than us, yeah it is them we have to worry about”

“We could make sure we pick them up and drop them off, but what about during school?”

‘I know, that’s going to be the toughest part, plus lunch but we could always go there for lunch and see they are safe”

“Yeah, you know I remember when my sister was sick for that long time, Mom taught her at home, the school had some program or something for kids that couldn’t get to class, home schooling of sorts, maybe we could do that for Keith and Tommy until it all cooled down? I mean you have the smarts to teach them all that stuff, and I can help with some too, that could work”

“I don’t know, I mean what about football and track? How would we have the time?”

“Well… you really are only going out for football because of me, and I could miss next season, I mean it is only a game Billy”

Billy didn’t know what to say, he could feel his heart swelling with pride as he heard Mike offer to give up what he had loved. How could people not like him? Here he was willing to give up playing football for two young kids who weren’t related to him, weren’t really his responsibility and yet he felt like he had to, all because it meant something to his dad and Chris and well, to him.

He reached up and held Mike’s face in his hands and then closing his eyes he bent forward, to let his lips brush lightly against Mike’s own lips. The touch was like a match to pool of gas. The explosion in his body was unequalled to any he had ever experienced before. The love he had for Mike seemed to be growing even larger, no longer able to be held by his body as he just wasn’t big enough for it all. He could feel it flowing as he wrapped his hands around Mike’s neck and darted his tongue out.

Mike groaned as he felt the violent eruption of his love for Billy rush outwards like an exploding geyser. The warmth suddenly became hot and he could feel the beads of sweat already forming on his brow as he kissed back, tasting the salt from Billy’s tears and he knew his own tears had left their mark for Billy to taste as well. Nothing seemed to matter and the fears and doubts of what might happen shortly no longer troubled their young hearts as they clutched at each other, embraced by the power of their love.

Nothing dark could invade their inner sanctuary as Mike’s hands now roamed down the back of his lover. He could feel the spine and the bones as they stuck out, and the feeling only made his heart sing louder, his soul already singing its tune of joy as his body trembled and shook to the stinging message of absolute love that flowed all through his body and that of Billy. There was no half measure, they both could feel their need for each other and yet they both knew that the future would be rocky but that they were going to be facing it together, and as such, it held no terror for them. They were safe, together, and so the dark clouds of a troubled world fell flat at their feet.

They both could feel their bodies starting to shake, unable to control themselves or wanting to they fell backwards on the bed, their arms still wrapped around each other, their hearts touching as their bodies bounced lightly onto the well worn bed. The sticky glue that bound them together had barely dried when they felt the need to travel that explosive road again. Mike’s eyes were no longer closed, the glaze of his desire for Billy now pushed outwards, seeing the hue of their love as it danced around him and Billy.

Billy’s breathing was already short and ragged and he could barely gasp for air and yet, still his body needed more and was demanding more. He could feel the fever of his need growing even hotter as he crushed his own body hard into Mike’s body. The feeling of his flesh sticking to every part of Mike’s hot steamy body was again becoming too much for him to stand and hold. He needed his love and he could feel the deep ache growing in his rectum and all through his lower body. Nothing could dampen that ache that quickly rose to become endless tremors of throbbing searing pain that knew no end.

Mike’s hand reached out towards the bowl on the nightstand, his fingers stretching outwards when the sound of the gate alarm rang loudly in the room, and the shouts of two young voices intruded on their desperate desire to join. Mike’s hand stopped, the fingers twitching and his heart stopped in mid beat for a second or two as their minds let the intrusion go on unheeded for a minute or two.

Seth sat in his car, his mind bubbling with different scenario’s as his heart pondered just what his next step was going to be. He could feel the strength of his love for Tommy growing and yet it seemed to be in conflict with the love he felt for his own boys and he wondered if he really was just being selfish. Hell, he didn’t even know if Tommy wanted to become a part of his family, so how could he be willing to risk everything without even knowing that.

The gentle pressure on his hand reminded him that he couldn’t just sit here and not go inside. He had to face Billy and Mike and while his dumb ass adult brain kept throwing all these issues up, he knew deep in his soul that Tommy did want to be a part of his family, that he was being selfish but that it wasn’t his overriding reason for being willing to take this risk.

Tommy had touched his heart, he knew that the minute he had laid eyes on the young boy only a short few months earlier, but it took time before he could admit just how much he enjoyed being a pseudo father figure to the young man. There was no rational explanation for how he felt, there wasn’t some book where he could go and look up the answers to the myriad of questions that plagued him, but he knew, and he couldn’t deny his heart or his soul anymore. He had done that too much in his 40 years as it was, so no, this time his mind could just take a hike, he had to let his heart take him where it would, and be damned for the consequences.

Seth turned to stare at the tall blond next to him. He held Chris’ hand in his and he could feel the warmth of love that reached out for him and it gave him the courage to slowly take in his breath and collect his wild thoughts. He would soon have to face the one person living on earth today who could make him tremble in fear, and that was Billy. It wasn’t rational at all, he knew that, after all this was a 16 year old boy, not some ancient guru filled with centuries of knowledge and wisdom, just a teenage boy but oh what a teenage boy he was.

Taylor scared him at times, but it was never in the same sense as Billy. To feel the look of disappointment from Taylor was one thing, but from Billy it was devastating. Taylor was older and maybe that was one reason, maybe the other reason was that Taylor had missed on some of being a child with a loving father, but he hadn’t missed out totally. Billy on the other hand had missed out totally so his guilt was greater and so Billy’s disappointments in him felt worse.

There was one other major difference; Taylor was a brooder, which meant he usually just went off until he couldn’t stomach it anymore. Rarely did he just let fly and in some ways he was as analytical as Seth could be in his arguing, Billy on the other hand was way too much like his Mother. He argued with his heart and he let it guide his reasoning, which was like talking to a brick wall.

If Billy believed he was right, especially if dealt with a moral issue, there was no arguing with him, no reasoning that could dent his armour of what the truth was and so he was in a sense much more formidable in having to deal with. He could cut you down to your bare bones with a simple look of determination, as he did that time when he fought for his brother. God, how much things had changed since that day, how much had passed since then and yet how nothing really had changed. Taylor and he had grown closer, they were no longer butting heads but he still dreaded having to confront Billy.

Getting out of the car, he could feel the soft pressure on his shoulder and he turned to see who was touching him and he shivered. Chris was still getting out of the car, and he knew who was there, still beside him as always and he felt better. He needed her strength just as he needed Chris’ presence and love in order to go forward. Well, Billy maybe able to cut to the chase of certain issues, but so could he and besides, this was right, he knew that and he would have to make his son see that too, if he didn’t.

He walked towards the front of the house, stretching his right hand out so as to grasp Chris’ extended hand. His fingers reached out and touched and the strength inside of him grew even stronger as he turned forwards, just as the front door opened and his son stepped out with Mike right beside him. God it looked so perfect, like they were a matching pair of angels. His heart beat a little faster as the pride welled up inside of him and his heart seemed to be pleased with the sight before him. A deep calm came over him as he walked forwards, his own lover next to him on his right, the spirit of his other only true love on his left.

“Dad you okay?”

“Sure Billy, why? I look pale or something?”

“No, but the gate alarm sounded awhile ago, you know how I am”

“Haha, yes I do, and remind me later to have a talk to you about your Aunt Karen”

“Oh God, did she call you?”

“Yes, but we need to talk about something more important right now”

“Yeah, I know… Tommy.”

“Yes, I think so, come on let’s go inside, I really don’t have much time, I have to get back to the office and well…”

“We know, look, I got some roast beef ready for you, want it hot or cold?”

He felt suddenly stunned, wondering what was going on. Billy had dinner for him? He came out because he was taking too long to go inside? If he didn’t know any better, he’d say his youngest son was trying to take the burden off his shoulders and the feeling of love was simply becoming overpowering to him. At this second, he felt like he could burst out into tears but he held on, his hand clenching Chris’ tighter and smiled, hoping the rest of the talk went as well, but as his mind dredged up that fear, his heart seemed to grow angry, seemed to reach upwards and push aside the doubts of his lawyer’s mind and shut it off. This was his son, he would support him not because he was his father but because he had learnt to do what was right, what was needed. He was her son as much as his and they had indeed done their job well, so his doubting mind could run, this was his son.

“Hot, if you got the gravy”

“Yep, just like I was taught, so… you going to fight or what?”

“Is there any doubt? Fight, naturally.”

“Cool, well we are with you, all the way, right Mike?”

“Yep, he’s right dad, besides, we kind of like having two younger bro’s”

“Haha, you two… well you know the risks if we fight?”

“Yep, we can handle it”

“You sure Billy? This isn’t something we can sweep under the carpet”

“Damn it, I told you then, I couldn’t find the dust bin, honest”

“HAHA, oh Billy, you are one of a kind”

“Boy is he ever, you should see him in a dress Dad, man he is one hot babe”

“A dress? Is there something I have been missing William?”

“Oh God, NO !  Come on, I’ll heat the gravy up and the meat”

Mike and Billy turned and raced into the kitchen ahead of the two men who walked slowly inside. Seth was still shaking his head, feeling light hearted as he realized what had just transpired. He had gotten the support he needed and he really hadn’t even asked. It was as Billy had told him before, when you loved someone; you just knew what to do when it was needed. Well, he loved his boys and it was evident that they really did love him, not out of some sense of duty or because he simply was their dad, but because they wanted to.

Well if that is how it was to be, so be it. Mr Lambert could claim right of fatherhood by blood, but that didn’t make him a fit parent, hell, it didn’t even make him a parent, it just gave him some legal standing because being a father was so much more than that. He knew that Tommy was growing in this environment, that he was becoming a young man worthy of being called a man, that growth would be surely stunted if he was left to return to his past environment. No, it wouldn’t matter what the cost, he couldn’t allow Tommy to suffer any further.

He sat at the kitchen table, a plate of hot roast beef laid in front with a glass of milk next to it. He smiled at his sons as he watched them stand nearby, arm in arm and he felt the love they held for each other. It still concerned him of what lay ahead, but he could tell in their eyes, they would survive it. If not, then the world would suffer its greatest loss, but he had faith in them and in their love.

“So what’s the plan? You going to go for adoption or something else?”

“Huh? Adoption?”

“Yeah, I mean won’t that be the best way so Tommy will always know who he is and where is belongs?”

“Well that is a pretty big step isn’t it Billy?”

“Yeah, but, I mean, you did say you were going to fight, right?”

“Yes, I am”

“Well, then let’s make it the right one, I mean if we, sorry, if you”

“No, I like that ‘we’, all of us are involved”

“Okay, but like I mean, if we go for anything less, nothing really will be settled for him, he deserves more dad, you know that, and well, so do you, so why go half way, go for it all, seize the damn day or whatever that roman said, but Tommy belongs here, with all of us, Mike agrees, how about you Chris?”

“Well I agree on adoption Billy but there really could be a lot of complications and well, it won’t be easy”

“So? Is being gay ever easy?”

Seth looked at his son with that one. How do you fight that kind of logic and besides, they really were on the same page anyhow, but he did him good to know that his son felt this way. The trouble was, he was right, when did it feel easy being gay?

“Billy, look at me”

Billy could feel the power in his father’s words and he stared at him. He felt his eyes open wider as he gazed into the eyes of the man he worshipped. He had never really told his dad how much he loved him or how much he had missed him. There was so much left unsaid between them and as he looked into the eyes, he could feel the man’s heartbeat next to his, he could hear his voice not in his ears but deep inside of him as they locked eyes and their hearts began to touch each other. He felt the hairs on his arms rise up as his father’s spirit rose up inside of him and he trembled as his own spirit seemed to be resting deep within his father’s body.

He had never told him how lonely he had felt after his mother’s passing and yet he could sense that his father had known it, and he could feel the pain inside of his father, as he felt his son’s loneliness and had been unable to comfort it. Billy could feel the past as if it was today and he could feel his father’s regrets and the deep sorrow it had caused him and he knew that there was so much lover for him there that had never been spoken, but that had always been known.

Seth felt the amazement of his heart as it flowed within his son and he could see there wasn’t a jealous bone in his body, that Billy was filled with nothing but love and understanding. He could feel the pain his son had felt but he could also feel that there was no hidden anger, no hidden animosity against him for his mistakes at that time, instead he felt nothing but love that had its own powerful punch. Had he been standing he knew he would have staggered as the force of Billy’s love for him hit him all at once.

He could see the steel inside of his son, the armour that rested fully around his young boy’s heart and how determined he was. His own thoughts seemed to pass unheeded beyond that armour and he could feel the pride his son felt for him, just as Billy could feel his own pride for him. They touched together on a plane they had never travelled together on before and he felt the excitement in his spirit as they roared off together.

The pride Billy felt for his father was overflowing and all around them was nothing but a blue cloak of love. Mike’s love flowed around, dancing and singing just as Chris’ love shimmered and glowed next to it and through it all ran Billy and Seth’s spirit. It was the glue that had brought them all together and so it didn’t matter what the world thought, what it perceived as real and valid, because they knew the truth.

Their gaze lasted only for a second in time but it left its mark deep inside both of them. They knew as time passed onwards that whatever pain had existed between them, whatever gulf or canyon that had separated them in the past, no longer existed for either of them. Together, like two stalwart knights of old, they would always find a bridge or a ford to enable them to cross and join together. Their hearts were born from the same seed, it was like being at one and Seth felt his heart swell, his soul primp and glow as the bond between them only grew more solid, more secure.

“Yes Dad”

“This is good”

“Thanks”

“I better get going”

“Yeah, we won’t say anything till you get home”

“I know”

“You will win”

“How do you know?”

“Cause, I do, you know”

“Yeah”

Billy watched his father drive away, Chris at the wheel this time as he knew his father had tears in his eyes, just as he did. Just as Chris was holding his hand, Mike was holding onto him. He still felt a bit weak, he had never reached so far inside of his father before and it felt so amazing, so wonderful that he still couldn’t talk about it.

He let Mike guide him up the stairs towards their bedroom and help him to lay down on the bed. Mike didn’t do anything else, he never spoke, he just laid down next to Billy on the bed. He placed his arm under Billy’s shoulders and carefully brought Billy over to rest across his body. Mike had his arm tightly around the still trembling shoulders of his lover while Billy’s arms now rested across his upper stomach. His head was resting easily on his chest, listening to the steady beat of Mike’s love for him, and he felt so much love that he just let it all flow around him, to keep him safe and secure.

As his tears slowly dropped from his cheeks to Mike’s flesh, he felt the comfort of his lover but he could feel her spirit too. His eyes gazed at the silver locket around Mike’s neck. It rested just in front of him and he could feel her presence, her love and he prayed that his father would indeed win out. Deep in his own soul, he knew his spirit was with his Dad, and that while Mike held him tight he knew that his love was all over, reaching out even towards the office where Tommy’s future now lay on the table.

Seth waited in the main office. The deep plush carpet muted all sound and the large deep mahogany desk glistened in the various glows from all of the soft hidden lights in the room. It was an impressive room, one he rarely used except when he wanted to impress his visitors with the power and majesty of the law. Books lined the room walls, and yet they too were muted by some of the carefully spaced photographs of ancient philosophers and Presidents.

A picture of him and Ronald Reagan stood behind the dark maroon chair that he rested in and off to one side, just next to the chair where Chris sat, a picture of Seth with Supreme Court Chief Justice Lindquist resided. Overall, this could be a very intimidating room and as Taylor said, Mr. Lambert was no Billy. This room had even caused Billy to speak in hushed tones and while it may have curbed his tone, it had never dulled his arguments but he wasn’t dealing with Billy, he was dealing with a man who was not used to all of this.

The stage was set; a draft copy of surrendering parental rights to Seth lay on the large polished desk. A paperweight in the design of the scales of justice held the folder down on one corner, pens at the ready and off to far end of the desk, a stack of legal books dealing with adoption and parental rights rested.  Taylor had set it perfectly, visible to anyone who sat across from the massive desk and even the room itself seemed to feel the power.

The buzzer at his desk sonded and he glanced over at Chris, a quick beam of love joining them for an instant and then the steel curtain closed down on Seth’s face. His hands grew calm and his heart stopped its wild chatter inside of him. The shoulders were squared as he gave instructions for his secretary to show in the visitor and he waited.

A quiet elderly lady showed Tommy’s father into the huge cavernous room. She held open the massive wooden door for him and waited patiently while he stepped inside. His eyes bulged as he took it all in and Seth could see the effect the room was having on the man. He waited now, seeing how the huge desk and his own presence seemed to draw the man inwards, each step timid and hesitant.

“Mr. Lambert”

“Mr. Bradford, uh, thank you for uh seeing me”

“No problem, this is Mr. Jenkins my financial expert”

“Mr Jenkins, uh, I thought that we could talk privately”

“So your call said, but it also said that it was dealing with Tommy’s future, I thought I would like my financial man here, in case we needed to discuss finances”

“I see, well uh, that really isn’t the future, uh, but sure, fine”

“Good, so?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, well, I guess you want to know what it is I wanted to see you about”

“That would be a good start Mr Lambert, after all, I do have other matters to attend to”

“Yes, I can see that, uh well, oh hell, this isn’t easy for me, I know what you and your family must think, but it isn’t true you know”

“Oh? Just what is it you believe we think?”

“Look, I don’t blame you, I know I come across as some jerk, but you have to believe one thing, I love my son, I know, I haven’t shown it too well, but maybe I can now”

“Well, I would say that you have chosen a rather different way of showing him how much you care, but that really isn’t for me to say, is it? So, now you want to make it all right? And just how do you propose to do that?”

“My son is happy with your family isn’t he?”

“Yes he is, but you would have known that if you had ever bothered to visit with him or even take him out for a burger or something during all the time he’s been with us”

“I know, I thought it was best I stay clear, he had enough troubles, and well, I didn’t want to get him all upset, okay I also didn’t want to get myself all upset, I really do love him, no matter what you may think”

“As I have said, what I think isn’t important here, so again, Mr. Lambert, just what is it you wish to propose to me?”

Seth watched as the man squirmed in the chair, the sounds of his movements seeming liking cannon shots in the vastness of the room. He could see that the man had a quiet determination about him, one that would surprise Taylor if he could see it. This wasn’t a timid man, granted he seemed to be a beaten man, but still there was something about him that made Seth hold his tongue. He was keeping it cool, playing the part of an non committal observer, watching and waiting for his moment.

“Do you love my son?”

The words were spoken so softly that Seth wasn’t sure he had heard them right. He could hear Chris shifting in his chair, as if to lean forward and he stared at Tommy’s father, seeing how the man had his head hanging down, yet his eyes were trying to look at him furtively from under his eyebrows.

“Yes, Yes I do Mr. Lambert”

“And the rest of your family? The other boys? They love him too?”

“Yes they do, he is like a little brother to them”

“Thank God”
“I know this sounds crazy, and I know it is asking a lot of you and your boys Mr Bradford, but you have to understand how things are. I was stupid, I made some pretty big mistakes but Tommy wasn’t one of them. I love him, just as I love my two girls and yes, as much as I love my wife. She has put up with a lot from me Mr Bradford, she deserves so much more, so much better, but she does love me, despite everything I have put her through, can you understand that?”

“Well, I suppose I can, still I don’t quite see what you are trying to get at?”

“Mr Bradford, these last few months have been amazing for us, my wife and I have made lots of progress, our family feels like a family now, instead of an armed camp and you have to believe me, she is a good women, she doesn’t hate Tommy, she wishes she could love him as she loves our girls, but seeing him, it just is too much for her, and now, well now I have an opportunity to take a much better job, it means more money and will let me be home more, but, well, it means moving a long way from here”

“Are you saying you want to move away and take Tommy with you? It doesn’t seem like much of anything has changed at your home as far as it relates to him, and I have to be honest, that is my only concern, what is best for him, he is deserving of that, just as much as your wife’s feelings are.”

“I know, I know that Sir, that isn’t what I am suggesting, I need your advice, your help.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can advice you Mr. Lambert, there could be a conflict here, as to help, I already am looking after your son, so what help is it you wish from me?”

“Will you, will you take Tommy …permanently?”