Free Gay Fiction

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still.

n                 Chinese Proverb

Billy was nervous, it would soon be his time to either do it or fall flat on his face, and he felt his stomach twisting and turning as the last two boys rounded the final turn and headed for the finish line.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he watched the other’s coming home, and he felt like a small fish in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Why the hell had he let Mike talk him into this, he knew he’d screw it up and worse, make Mike think less of him.

It was amazing how much Mike meant to him, and yet he still felt so unsure of himself, so unsteady, specially when Mike wasn’t next to him. This was the hardest part, being in school, hiding how he felt and yet needing to see him.

He had watched Mike’s tryout and felt like an expectant father when it came time for Mike’s attempts. He jumped up and down when Mike blew past the other’s and he felt like he was going to burst when the Coach came up and slapped him on the back, congratulating him on his improved times. He wished he could Mike feel that way about him, but he didn’t think he stood a chance of even coming close, despite all their running together.

Billy heard his name being called and he started to head over to the starting blocks when Mike came up to him. His heart leapt a little as he saw a tell tale bulge in the orange shorts, wishing he could just pull them down right now, but he managed to contain himself.

“Hey Billy”

“Hey”

“Look, you know our little spot?”

“Which one?”

“The one in the bushes, by the fence up on the side of the hill.”

“Uh huh, what about it?”

“I got some OJ and fruit in a cooler there, with a blanket, ready and waiting for when we finish here.”

Billy stopped in his tracks. The idea of spending time after with just Mike made him swoon a little.

“How come?”

“To celebrate you dolt.”

“Yeah? What if I don’t make it?”

“Huh? Make what?  Come on, you talking in blonde lingo again?”

“Funny, what if I don’t make the team?”

“Oh that, shit I don’t give a shit about that, I just want to celebrate with you… it’s the 16th of the month idiot…”

“Yeah… so? Oh shit… Mike..”

“Yep, its our anniversary you ditz, and I know, its only the 5th month but hell, it feels only like yesterday that we, well… I just want to be with you on this day, sort of make it our day of every month of every year for the rest of our life… okay?”

Tears were starting up as the Coach called out the names of the next runner’s to try out. Billy’s name was called and he felt like he was stuck in a pool of quick drying cement.

“Go on, your turn, just remember, after the tryouts, you got a date with me, now go on… the coach hates it when you show up late for the start.”

Billy ran to the field, and set his feet. His heart was pounding like it would burst from his young chest as Mike’s words echoed deep inside of him. Damn that guy, he had a way to just reach inside and turn his guts to mush.

The sound of the starter gun startled him for a brief instant and he saw the feet of the other three guys sweep past his eyes as he broke out of the gate and headed down the track.

He saw their butts ahead of him and his mind narrowed its focus. His arms started to pump faster and he could feel his legs starting to thunder on the dirt track as his heart could only focus on one thing, Mike’s green sparkling eyes, as he said,  ‘it’s the 16th, our day’ and with that promise he could feel himself straining forwards.

Damn it, he wanted to just run straight to their spot, their hidden hideaway among the trees and bushes. Granted it was a bit chilly, and lately all they really did there was to sit and rest in each other’s arms, but somehow that felt like enough.

Fuck, that was exactly what Mike wanted, the sneaky bastard. He started to smile, as his heart seemed suddenly to gather itself together and started to pump his blood even faster through his young lithe body. He could feel the hair on the back of his legs starting to blow and he knew he was going as fast as he could. He looked up and saw the last turn coming and only one person ahead of him. How the hell, he thought, did he only have one ahead of him?

His face grew serious as he saw a flash of orange start to run beside him on the grassy field and he looked ahead, seeing the dancing ribbon of the finish line and he knew he could do it, and with a sudden burst of determination, he felt his legs kick out, just as they had when he would race Mike to their secret hideaway and he felt himself starting to simply glide ahead.

The wind blew past his face and his short cropped hair bristled as he raced forward, his arms pumping like a madman as he leaned forward, his ears flat against his head, his heart thrumming like a finely tuned jet engine and his lungs swallowing up the life giving oxygen in giant gulps as his legs carried him forward and past the tattered white ribbon. A piece of the ribbon stretched across his chest and as he slowly started to slow down he found himself being lifted up high in the air, Mike’s arms holding him.

Damn, this was worth every early morning, every aching joint afterwards as Mike slowly let him down, and they stared into each other’s eyes. He could feel the pride, the same damn pride he had felt earlier when Mike had swept past his own competition. Oh God it felt so good to see, and more than that, he couldn’t wait to do it again. Shit, this had to be how Mike felt when he scored those TD’s and for the first time he felt like he was on top of the world, proving to his man how much he had meant, not in words, but in actions.

“Bradford… get over here”

“Yes Sir Coach” Billy said, some of his earlier panic returning but less as he trotted over to the coach, Mike at his side, and if you ever saw a prouder person, then you had to be dreaming. Mike simply glowed with his pride; his smile almost reaching his ears and the way he just bounded alongside Billy was something special to watch.

At least, that is how the tall figure hidden behind the bleachers felt. He could just see it, the way Mike was high five’ing people and how the other’s looked at Billy, as if for the first time.

“Very impressive Bradford, you been working out with a trainer or ?”

“No Sir, uh, I…”

“We go running every morning Coach” Mike piped up, knowing that Billy wasn’t sure how to answer. He could feel his nervousness, and for some strange reason, he couldn’t care less what anyone thought or made of it.

“OH? Oh right Sheppard, I remember the notice from the office, you staying there now aren’t you?”

“Notice? Uh… Yes Sir, I…”

“It’s okay Sheppard, your parents had to notify the office of your residence seeing as how Mr. Bradford is your guardian while they are away, which explains you doesn’t it Bradford.”

“I guess so Coach.”

“Yes, well I want to see you run the relay next, I think we can use you there… by the way, you two toss the ball around too?”

“Some Coach, you should see Billy, he has pretty good hands Coach.”

“Yeah? Well good, maybe you will come try out for football later?”

“Me? Uh, well, yeah okay, I guess, uh”

“Come on Billy, we got to warm up for the relay’s, they are up soon, thanks Coach”

With that Mike managed to drag a stunned Billy away and head off to slowly unwind and at the same time let it all sink in. Did what happen, happen? Billy wasn’t sure, as it all seemed to float in a mist before his eyes. All he could think of was the way he had felt as Mike had lifted him up in front of everyone. Damn he was a gutsy guy, no wonder he loved him so much.

The tall figure watched as the two boys strode away from the adult on the field. He wondered what had been said, wishing he could have been a fly there, but he would find out soon enough, he hoped.

Judging by the way they moved off though he was sure it wasn’t bad news that would be going home with those two. He could see Billy, the way he seemed to be floating, as if in a daze and Mike, well Mike was almost as bad it seemed.

The vibrating in his suit pants was annoying, as he was enjoying just leaning against the stands, watching the two boys exert themselves. It was amazing how Billy had suddenly just woke up half way around the track and blew past the others. It was strange to watch Mike running the last distance beside him, his young voice out shouting the entire region as he was urging Billy onwards.

He picked up the vibrating cellular phone and spoke into it.

“Yes, yeah it looks like they both made it Seth, yep, well… yeah, judging by the last demonstration I would say Billy made it too, yep… okay… fine, yeah I guess I should too, yes Seth, okay, fine, yes I think you could safely e-mail Trevor and tell him Mike made it too, yes, okay, …fine I’ll talk to you later?  Huh?  Of course… no problem Seth, yes well I’ll be home.”

With that, he flipped close the handset and stared off at the track. They were all gathered around the far end, and he shivered a little, a wistful look on his face. He wished he could, but well, such was life so he turned around and headed towards his parked car and headed to his empty apartment.

The relay was much like the other, he wasn’t used to the ‘starter gun’ but he figured in time he would be, plus the hand off was all-new to him. The slap of the hard metal into his hand stung, but Mike had warned him of that and he was ready for it, he held on to it like it was Mike’s hard on and his race was pretty impressive, least the way the coach sort of grinned.

The new pick up truck was parked off the road, its nose almost buried in the berm, and Billy had to run back to close his door, the excitement of just pulling off and going to a spot just for him was almost too much. It was also special in that today, their 5th anniversary, he had made the track team with his man.

“Come on Jock Boy” Mike had teased as he ran up the dirt track towards the trail. The largest smile you could imagine was on his face as he taunted and teased, and Billy could see how proud he was of him, which in turn made him swell too, and not just between the legs.

It was strange, he loved having sex with Mike, hell he lived for it, but at times, well least lately, he had felt like there was more to them, it wasn’t just that he liked to cum, but that the smell, touch of Mike, seemed to make him feel different, feel less afraid, feel more whole. It was all kind of nervy, and sometimes he’d lay awake at night wondering about it, least till Mike would somehow sense it and roll over and throw his hand over him.

Man, that would freak him, because he knew Mike was asleep. No one could fake those raspy snores, not even Mike and yet it was like he had known that Billy needed to feel him close. Was he getting nuts or what?

As these thoughts passed through his head, he kept pace with Mike, his legs a bit sore from all the running, but all he had to do was stare ahead at that perfect butt as it swayed to and fro while jogging ahead. God, it looked so hot, even in those damn baggy white jeans. Hmm, one day he’d have to get Mike to get some tighter pants, then, oh shit, better not do that, he had enough trouble keeping himself in check when he saw Mike. Could you imagine what it would be like if he wore those tight one’s?

Billy shook his head, sending the images of Mike in tight jeans back to the recess of his mind,  as they crashed through the dense underbrush and broke out into their spot. The clearing was cool, and dim and perfect for resting after a jog and there to one side, nestled under some branches was a blanket and basket, just as Mike had said.

Mike was busy digging out the basket and stuff, as Billy stood there watching. Man he was so drop dead gorgeous, how the hell did he get so lucky to snare a catch like this? He shook his head and just couldn’t wait any longer. Damn the rules, this was special.

Billy moved close, and wrapped his arms around the bent over waist of Mike. He hugged him tight, his head resting on his back.

“God I love you Sheppard”

“Yeah? Then why the hell you breaking my back?”

Mike stood up and turned around, the biggest grin on his face and a wilted rose in his hand. Billy had loosen his grip slightly but he still held on to Mike’s waist, feeling his strength, and feeling his body. He breathed deeply of Mike’s odour, smelling the sweat, the special aroma that only Mike could emit.

“For me?”

“No, for the guy behind you, yeah for you Billy”

Billy took the flower in one hand, his other still resting on the bony hip of his man. It felt so nice, here he was in their place, together and even though they had been here several times, it still felt special, still felt like he was on a secret rendezvous.

“Hmm, it even smells nice, hmm, no sorry, it’s not the rose, that smell… hmm, guess its you.”

With that Billy reached up and kissed Mike on the lips, startling him a little but the touch of his lips on Mike’s only brought his hands out, to wrap around Billy’s slender waist, holding it tight and pressing the young body into his own chest.

“Damn it, you are the one who wanted to skip the shower after practise, so tough if I stink, you aren’t exactly smelling like rosebud…”

“Hehe, rosebud, cute… no I love your smell, and I want it all to myself, ain’t gonna share that with anyone…”

“Oh Billy, there never could be anyone I’d rather share it with either, damn… you always make me feel so damn special…”

“Me? Oh listen to you, hugging me like that, in front of everyone too, and you say I make you feel special… shit Mike I can’t even…”

“Oh shut up Blondie, we can talk later… right now I just want to lay beside you and hold you and kiss you and, well…”

“Me too, come on.”

Billy just sat down, his hands moving up Mike’s body to grip his hands and pull him down towards his aching body.

An overwhelming desire to please the tall dark haired figure slowly coming down to join him on the blanket passed through his entire body. He could feel himself shake a little and the ache in his groin was constant.

Funny, they must have had sex a thousand times in the last five months, and yet each time was becoming more special. Yeah, they had some times when they would just rush, to cum, but then it would turn into a marathon of touching, holding, cuddling and it felt so fucking good, they would wind up doing more and more until they just passed out together, from sheer exhaustion.

As Mike’s body came to meet his, Billy stared up into the green eyes, and he could see them shimmering, even in this dim light and he felt his heart skip a beat, felt his lungs gasp for a swallow of air, and he felt his groin leap upwards, twisting as it awaited Mike’s presence.

Damn, the so called experts could yap all they wanted, this wasn’t merely hormones, he knew that and if this is what love was, man he never wanted to be out of love. The pain he felt when Mike wasn’t around hurt, but oh God, it was moments like this, waiting for Mike’s touch, for his kiss, for his smell to fill his nostril, this is what made it all worthwhile.

Mike smiled as he felt Billy’s hands clasp his buttocks. He could feel the thin bony fingers digging into the flesh and he could feel his heart leaping forward. Damn, it felt so good to just be here, to have him touching him, he could live forever on one touch, but knowing that it would be pure hell if that was all he could have, his body needed his touch every second of every minute of every hour of every day, this was his love and he couldn’t exist without it.

The realization made him quicken his breath and his hands now gently felt the sides of Billy’s body, feeling the young muscles rippling and moving to his touch. He breathed deeply, feeling the intoxicating scent of his man fill his body with its special aroma. Damn, the sweat only made him sexier and he loved it.

Mike crushed his lips on Billy’s thin pale one’s, tasting the salt of sweat on them, and loving it, knowing that soon it would taste from his salt, from his sweat but also from his love and he opened his eyes to stare into Billy’s blue moons.

Somehow they had managed to get their shirts open and as their young chest ground together under the swaying branches of their tree, their hearts seemed to pound harder, straining to leave one chest for the other, to exchange sides so that the other could feel what they felt. It made them both light headed as their hands groped for each other’s groin, to touch the one part of their bodies that in fact could join them and together they struggled with it, their eyes locked together, their lips pressed tightly together in the dusk of the day.

The sun may be setting on another day, but their passion was still growing, still rising before the world and they could feel its power, as their hard cocks strained against the press of the other’s body.

A small river of pre-cum had formed between the two pressed sweat soaked bodies and they could feel their groins sliding along the slippery path of white cream, feel its wetness against their bellies and it made their kissed harder, more strident as their hands fumbled to push each other’s pants down even more, to expose more of their milky white young flesh to the other’s body.

The touch of his skin against his own brought his balls upwards, the desire roared full force inside of his young body and he knew, it didn’t matter because for every ounce of desire he had, there was an ounce of equal need waiting for him. Billy smiled, and he felt the sudden pressure of Mike’s hard cock against his own throbbing cock and he opened his eyes once more.

The green sky was all he could see, and yet it really wasn’t the sky but Mike’s eyes that filled his vision. He stared into them as his body bucked and swayed to the urgent press of Mike’s own hands, his legs and his long hard cock. He didn’t see anything but a deep wave of passion, like an ocean wave breaking on the cliffs, yet even though it faltered and dissipated, right behind it was coming an even larger one, even more powerful and Billy knew that was Mikes love.

He knew that as each wave passed over him, the cliff or shore that called for the waves, that another wave was following, that more of Mike’s love would come to crash against him, to wash over him and engulf him in power.

As the sight of an endless ocean of deep emerald green with wave after wave flowing inwards filled his mind, he could feel Mike’s lips pressing against the hot flesh of his stomach and as his mind saw an endless array of waves heading towards him he felt himself groaning with sublime pleasure as Mike’s mouth was hungrily kissing at his groin, licking his own throbbing cock and he could feel the power of those endless waves as they crashed up against him.

It was an overwhelming urge, which had taken hold of Mike. He couldn’t stop himself as he greedily licked at the throbbing cock, tasting the sweat that had covered it, enjoying the scent that was Billy and he could feel his own heart straining, wanting more and more as his mouth worked hard, opening, closing, tasting, licking and finally he couldn’t hold back and he swallowed the shaking cock. Mike felt it slide quickly inside, filling his mouth with its strength, its power, its love and he groaned loudly.

His whole body started to tremble as the young cock jerked inside, pushing up hard against the roof of his mouth, then sliding down to his throat where his throat muscles relaxed, to let the hot pole push past.

There was no stopping him now, and Billy placed his hands down and on Mike’s head, pulling it down harder, making it go faster as his need rose. He was twisting and turning, as his body felt the waves of Mike’s love flow through him and he could feel his body straining and then with one single yell that echoed in the stillness of the trees, he felt his body arching upwards, his legs pushing out and down and his hand pounding hard against the ground.

Mike felt the sudden push of Billy’s cock as it seemed to just leap forward, to lodge itself deeper within his mouth and he could feel the body shaking underneath him and he braced himself, eager for the coming joy of Billy’s release.

As the pulsing cock reared back inside his mouth, Mike felt a deep glow of satisfaction within himself. He loved it when Billy would cum so hard, and he just knew this was going to be one of those times. He could feel his own body straining now, eager for the sudden flood of Billy’s milk.

The powerful taste of young cum filled him and he sighed with pleasure, his legs quivering a little as his mouth enjoyed the sudden flood of hot sticky milk inside it. There was nothing he liked better than to taste Billy, whether it was his hot cream or the warm saltiness of his flesh, it all made him feel all warm and pleased inside, and the smile he got after, oh that smile was worth anything.

As the last of Billy’s milk dribbled into his mouth, he glanced upwards, his eyes poking out from under his dark eyebrows. He saw the beginnings of the smile and his heart did a major flip-flop, the glow inside just seemed to shine through.

With the smile widening and Billy’s chest heaving, Mike could feel his own cock jerking and he knew he was close himself. Just the idea of pleasing Billy could sometimes bring him close to ejaculation and it worried him a little.

The drive home was filled with their mutual love. Billy kept nattering away, telling Mike how good he felt which made Mike feel good, but he still wondered at times, if maybe, just maybe Billy was saying that to boost him up. He really didn’t think he was that good of a lover, I mean, he did love the way Billy would moan when he touched him and stuff, but he was sure that he could do better, he just wasn’t sure how.

As they drove into the yard, they noticed Seth’s car parked out in front and looked at each other then at their watches.

“Damn, we aren’t all that late, but he’s early”

“Yeah I know, shit Billy I am sorry.”

“For what? I loved our little side stop, remind me to thank you more later.”

“Oh sure, I think he’s not going to be happy.”

“He’ll be okay, he just needs to loosen up a little, besides its Tuesday and he’s never home this early, hmm, wonder what’s up?”

Seth Bradford heard the gate alarm as the clock struck the quarter hour. He stopped his nervous tapping on the coffee table as he heard the purr of a truck coming up the driveway and he knew that his boys were finally coming home.

Damn, he was a nervous wreck and they really weren’t all that late. He figured they would be late, but it still annoyed him a little, but he calmed himself down, as his mind soothed his nerves. Of course he should expect them late, they would naturally stop somewhere to celebrate their victories.

As he thought about it, the call, he felt his chest puff outwards and the annoyance at their lateness disappeared. A small smile crossed his stern lips as he marvelled at their youthful exuberance. How the hell did they manage to get good grades, study so hard and run every morning and still have the damn energy to screw like a couple of minks. He never was that energetic at their age, or was he?

While the truck motor was still echoing in his ears, he sat down in the couch, thinking back and realizing just how much he had been missing. He could see the nights of his college days, spent in drinking and partying, but never really all that much. He was what they called, a serious student, least until he met her.

Damn, he couldn’t stop himself, everything in his world would always bring him back to some part that they shared and he could feel the holes in his heart, feel the emptiness that seemed to be his life. The ache was there, but unlike most times, there was a difference, the pain was real, the emptiness overpowering at times, but somehow, someway, it just felt different.

He found himself thinking more of Billy and Taylor, and now even Mike and Jeremy seemed to occupy a great deal of his thoughts. As the noise of two doors slamming pushed their way past his reverie, he felt a sudden chill in his body and as he stood up, a soft hint of lilacs floated past his nose, making him sigh and a vision of Christina, sitting on the old swing out back, her long hair flowing as she waited for him, a smile that could melt the north pole etched across her face, filled his eyes and soft tears seemed to well up, and he struggled to regain his composure as the two boys waltzed into the room.

He didn’t know how or why, but he had this desperate urge to just pick them up and hug them. In a few giant steps he was there, facing the two young faces, concern etched on both, which surprised him a little and then he smiled and reached down, bringing both boys into his bosom, feeling their young bodies crush into his toned body.

Billy felt a strange warmth as his body crashed into Mike’s body and then they both were held tight against Seth’s muscular body. The two massive arms held them rigid in his body and yet, there was no coldness, no forbidding feeling, instead Billy just felt like he was back to being seven or six years old when he would always find himself in his father’s arms after dinner.

“I hear I have a couple of track athletes in the family now.”

“Huh, how the, I mean, yes but how did you know?”

“Oh Billy you should see your face… because I am your father, that’s how, we know these things.”

“Oh sure, well, uh yeah Mike and I made the team.”

“I knew you would, oh boys I am so proud of you both, what do you say we skip dinner and go out for something to eat?”

“Wow, really?”

“Sure, why should I make you cook dinner, I am sure Mike won’t object to some real food now will you Mike?”

“REAL FOOD, HEY NOW JUST A MINUTE”

“He is funny when he gets that way, isn’t he Mike?”

Mike didn’t know what to say, the joke was not something he really associated with Billy’s dad, but damn it, ever since New Year’s it was like he was a new person. Besides, he had to admit, it was a pretty good rib at Billy.

“Yeah he does get kind of testy when you insult his cooking.”

“Testy? Well you know how those wifes get…hehe oh lord, look at his face now…. Hahah”

“Wifes? Hey, now …just a minute here, I got something to say ‘bout that.”

“OH I am sure you do, but safe it, we have a reservation at the club and if you two don’t hurry up and get cleaned up and dressed, we’ll never make it… so move it you two.”

“Huh, the Club? Really? OH COOL, wow…. Thanks dad..”

“Go on William, now remember, get cleaned up first, brush all that dirt and grass out of your hair…. And more than likely off your bodies too… never seen two people get so dirty after a romp in the bushes…. Now scoot.”

Billy’s face was frozen in pure shock. He couldn’t believe it, the way his father suddenly was changing before his eyes. The firm foreboding lawyer telling his son to clean off after a romp in the bushes? Where did he get this stuff?

Billy was still in shock, he would stop for a second as his father’s words were replayed in his mind, and he would forget what he was looking for. Mike was busy towelling off, and would have to remind him to get a move on.

Seth had yelled up once already and while that was normal enough, his comments certainly weren’t. To think, his father, the staid republican businessman, lawyer of the big corporate hotshots, yelling up at his 16year old son to stop fondling his man and get dressed, man, that was too much.

“He has to be seeing someone”

“Huh, what Billy? Who? Oh dad?”

“Yeah, I mean shit, he’s too happy, I really…. I mean…”

“Well, so? If he is what about it?”

“Hey I like the idea, hope she don’t mind a couple of gay sons though… shit I wonder if…”

“What, hey…that’s my sock, give it here…”

“Get another, I am wearing it, no really, you think maybe he’s got a girlfriend?”

“I dunno, could be, would that be bad?”

“No, no it wouldn’t, as long as she made him happy, wonder though, should I ask him?”

“Oh God Billy, come on, let him have his fun, maybe he just wants to have some fun too…. Hey, give me back my underwear…. Damn you always steal my best pair.”

“Oh get over it, not like you don’t steal mine”

“Yeah but hey are dirty… come on fork em over bitch”

“Bitch? BITCH? Oh man if we didn’t have to rush… you’d eat those words…”

“Oh cool, I love eating those words… they so salty and tasty….”

“STOP IT, damn there you go again, now I got a hard on again.”

“HEHE oh Billy damn it I love you…. And you always have a woodie.”

“Hey, that’s not my fault, it’s yours… thank you very much”

Billy looked over at Mike, saw the smile and knew that he was still floating. Damn it felt good, just to be in the same room as him, to smell him even if it was that damn cologne instead of the scent of his sweaty body. Well, maybe later he could get some of that sweat happening and he smiled as he pulled on his pants, over his jutting penis. Fuck, it was hard dressing around Mike, when he really only wanted to strip bare ass naked and jump that strong body.

Mike could feel Billy’s eyes on him and it made his heart quicken a beat or two as he felt so lucky, not just that he could actually stay in the same room as Billy, but that he could call Billy his. It made him feel so worthwhile, so complete and yet he could still feel alone, but that was only when Billy wasn’t in his sight, even if he was only in the bathroom.

Glancing upwards, he could see the beginnings of muscles along his arms and legs, the way his butt no longer just jiggled around but was getting tone and shape, which was either from the running or all the times it got plugged. Damn, he was hard now, well okay, harder now. It seemed he was always close to a full sized erection when his mind wandered to thoughts of Billy, and as that was every damn second of his life, it did kind of make for an interesting day.

Mike walked up to Billy and hugged him tight. He could smell the fresh scent of him, the shampoo aroma wafted through his nostrils as he rested his head against Billy’s hair.

“HEY YOU TWO… GIVE THE HORMONES A BREAK… WE GOT DINNER”

Seth’s voice stunned them as they broke apart. They hadn’t even heard him come up the stairs or open the bedroom door. Billy turned a bright red, while Mike managed to simply turn away, hiding his obvious erection from ‘dad’s’ eyes.

Seth had stood by the door, staring at his son in Mike’s arms. He could see the deep affection that was binding the two boys together, both of them just standing there, each of them with their eyes closed as they hung onto each other.

It had made his heart ache as he recalled other times, with other people when they too would just stand for hours holding onto each other. He could remember the time that she had come to him, out in a field, where they had stopped to just talk.

Taylor was at his parents place, she wanted to be alone with him for the day, and he had figured that they would be having a family talk, about how much time he was spending away, how it was his duty to be home more. Instead she hadn’t said a word about it, just held his hand as they drove through the countryside, enjoying the spring weather.

As he looked on at Mike holding Billy in his arms, the memory of that day came flooding into him. He could see her eyes, the way they seemed to glow even more than normal. He loved the way she would always have that smile, that hint of something wonderful always near the surface. His heart ached as the memories of her flooded into him once more.

He had spent years battling those images, fighting them so that he could simply get through another day but now, now he seemed to dredge them up at a seconds notice and instead of trying to hide them, he found himself reliving them even more.

The walk had been quiet, they just held hands and strolled among the fields. New shoots of flowers sprouting as spring was in the air and mother nature was turning her eye to painting another masterpiece of colour.

He had to admit, it felt good just holding her hand, feeling the soft skin on his rough one, her tiny hand dwarfed by his and yet not. The sight of Billy’s blonde hair resting under Mike’s chin brought back the vision of Christina’s head always resting on his shoulder and how on that day it never seemed far from his chin.

Smiling he remembered them coming to an open area, flowers were sprouting up, earlier than normal and he could see the sparkle in her eyes as he picked a couple and handed them to her.

She had taken them in her hand, and small tears had started to trickle down her face, and he had been perplexed, wondering what was bringing on the waterworks. He was sure that he had done something, and that thought made him tremble, because all he wanted was to see her smile, see her laugh and enjoy all that was around her.

“I am sorry… I …”

“Sorry? Oh Seth… sssh… come”

That was all she said as she drew him into her lithe body, holding him, letting his head rest on the top of her golden blonde hair. He could feel her heart beating and they had just stood there, letting the golden rays of the sun bathe them in its glow and warmth.

He didn’t know how long they had stood there, but it felt so good, just the two of them, holding each other. Their hearts seemed to beat every so slowly, as if they didn’t want their sound to intrude on the solitude of the moment.

As he watched Mike’s arms holding tightly to Billy, and Billy’s arms resting firmly against Mike’s hips, he recalled his wife, how they stood and how right it felt, how good it was and then how as the sun started to set she had looked up at him, tears in her eyes as she told him how much she loved him, how proud she was of him and that, they were blessed with a love that knew no boundaries.

He had listened, feeling it, with each word, growing with it as she told him how much he meant to her, how much he was a part of her and he felt that same feeling now, watching his son in the arms of his love. It was almost as if he could feel their love, coming from their embrace and it was as if the love he had felt for her was now reaching out from him to them.

A smile crossed his face as he started to speak, remembering how they had stood together then, how they had held onto each other, just enjoying each other and how finally she had softly spoken the words, telling him that he would be a father once again, and how much love he felt at that particular second. IT was the same feeling he felt now, as he looked into the room at that wonderful gift that she had given him, one of two such gifts, and he felt his heart ache.

Dinner past in a blur of memories and quiet talk, as Seth seemed to be occupied with something. Billy could sense it and even Mike would dart questioning glances at Billy. Seth saw it all and he knew that he was acting different, but he couldn’t help himself.

With the dishes cleared away, dessert was upon them and Seth made a supreme effort to lighten the mood. After all, it was supposed to be a celebration of his boys making the track team.

The waiter brought a cart, loaded with fancy pastries. He saw Billy stare at one special dessert, and glance over at Mike. The two of them seemed to be sharing something special, and his heart leapt a little as he remembered how he and Christina would share little secrets like that. God, Billy was just like her, not in looks but in mannerisms. Funny, he always used to block that out, as if afraid to recognize it, to let it summon forth more memories, and now, now he ached for those special moments.

“Why don’t you two share that big fancy one there? He said softly, a smile crossing his lips as his own memories took hold.

“huh? What, that one?”

“Yep, the one with all that whipped cream… you know about whipped cream don’t you Billy or maybe I should be asking you Michael?”

The look on their faces was almost worth the horror of the waiter as Billy sprayed his pop out of his mouth.  He almost burst out laughing out loud as Mike choked on his pop, struggling to keep the liquid in his mouth.

“Well I can see that at least Mike knows how keep things in his mouth, but then you always were a dribbler Billy, even as a baby.”

Mike couldn’t contain himself and his laughter rang out around the table. The people next to them stopped their conversation to look over at the table with two handsome young men sat, alongside an older gentlemen, who must be either a brother or such.

“Dad…. Geez.. I …”

“oh Billy… you are priceless… come on eat up and you can deny it all you want, but I see all the grocery bills and I know just how much whipped cream you have been buying lately and I sure haven’t seen much on the table at home…”

“Dad…. God everyone is…”

“You know, I think maybe we should start to shop for some things at the wharehouse stores, the way you two go through some things, might save us a lot on the household budget, what do you think Mike?”

“Me? Uh, yeah sure, uh but Billy looks after that…”

“Oh? Well young man, a good husband shares his wife’s duties…. Oh God Billy don’t you dare spit that out…. Get a grip son…hehe”

His whole face was pure red. If anyone looked at him they would swear that he had the worse case of sunburn around. His father was killing him, and what was worse, it was at the club. God, what had gotten into him? He never used to make such cracks before and he stared into his father’s eyes and saw the humour just filling them. Damn, he looked so different.

It had taken them some time to finish dessert, but they were finally out of the club and heading home. Billy was silent as Mike and his dad talked about sports and the basketball season. It was like they were bonding, and that made Billy happy. What had him in knots was the sudden quips that his Dad was coming out with.

He couldn’t ever really remember his dad having such a wicked sense of humour and yet, something at the back of his mind said ‘oh yeah’ to him. If he was honest, he had to admit, it felt kind of nice to have his Dad joking with him, even if it was about his sex life. That one about sharing the wifely duties, man that had stunned him but in a way he felt kind of good. He looked over at Mike and saw the way he just seemed to sparkle with life and love, and his heart was aching again, wishing they were at home, alone, in their room.

“Oh oh Mike, looks like you are going to have an early night again.”

“Huh? What?”

“My son has that look on his face again, I think I’ll be watching the rest of the game alone, hehe”

Billy sputtered as he had been caught. The words seemed to right though, and how the hell did his dad know what was going on in his mind? Damn, he had become a mind reader.

“Oh well, he can wait a bit, I really do want to see the game… you can wait can’t you Billy”

Mike had just rolled right into the mood. Now he had picked up on dad’s mood and damn he was quick too, as Billy stared at them both. He saw the sparkling eyes, of both of his men, his father who he loved with every fibre of his young body but who really didn’t know, and of Mike, who made him feel like he was whole, but who still managed to surprise him everyday with his love and passion.

“Oh I can wait, just not sure if the whipped cream will keep, but hey as we are going to be shopping at those warehouse stores I guess it doesn’t matter…hehe”

Billy had joined in and suddenly the car was filled with their laugher. For the first time in a long time, the drive home was more pleasing than the food and it had been a long time since Billy felt so much love. He snuggled up closer to Mike, getting several more ribald comments, and with each one he just seemed to glow even more, revelling in the attention and the love.

Seth listened to the wild sounds that bounced through the empty house. Every now and then he was sure he could hear Billy screaming and the hairs on the back of his head would stand up, as they recognized the unbridled sounds of passion being consummated. His son was a very lucky young man, and it felt good that he was happy, for too long he hadn’t been.

He could see the clock ticking as he thought back, once more, his nigthly ritual of self imposed torture. The guilt seemed to always follow him, specially these last few years but ever since Billy had found Mike, he wasn’t sure, but life seemed less forbidding, less of a chore.

Hell, look at tonight, the way they laughed and joked. A thin smile crossed his lips as he recalled Billy’s red face and Mike almost choking. The joys of being a parent were never more obvious than in those moments, and yet he knew he couldn’t really call himself a good parent.

He had missed out on so much over these last few years that maybe he could never catch up. It wasn’t just that though, the pain was still so intense, so raw inside of him, he doubted it could ever go away, and now, now it was only more complicated. Seth sighed as he heard the thumb from upstairs and wished he could be like that, so carefree, so happy. He had been once, maybe that was all you were allowed?

His eyes glanced at the phone, as if it was pulling him and he could feel the strain in his chest as he struggled with the jumbled emotions that were racing inside of him. Could you find a second chance at happiness? Did it really lie at the end of that phone? The soft voice kept saying yes, but was it true?

Billy was leaning on his back, his legs twisted under his frame as he panted, desperate to catch his breath. Beneath him lay Mike’s prone body, sweat glistening all over from their lovemaking. God it felt so good to have Mike deep inside of him, and the way he just seemed to push deeper and deeper, each time, making him groan uncontrollably. It was like they had this desperate urge to forge one solid body out of their two, and each time they coupled it was a test of physics, could they or could they not. Somehow, it never came to be, but yet after, they felt like they had really come close, the desire to try again burning deep within their souls.

Tonight had been no exception, but yet it too felt different. It was like they were slowly approaching a change, and there were moments when he felt fear, that maybe they couldn’t get past the new obstacles.

Billy laid there, his breath slowly returning as he looked towards Mike, seeing the glaze leave his dark green eyes, the fever of his passion subsiding somewhat, the eyes no longer burning with a strident call for physical intimacy. He could see the look of questions, the look of wanting to share secrets and with some pain; he managed to untangle himself from Mike’s sweat and cum drenched body to lay next to him.

This had to be the best part, or close to it, so Mike thought as he watched Billy swing his leg over, making a suction type sound as their legs unwound. The sweat acting more like glue than anything else, and he could feel some of his hairs along the leg lift up as Billy managed to wriggle free.

He watched his lover push his own legs outwards, seeing the tiny muscles flexing, seeing the leg calf muscles tighten and he marvelled at how desirable he was, even right after some wild sex. God, he could feel his dick stirring again, and he knew that Billy would love it if they did it again. Shit, he was almost as insatiable in his desire as he was.

Billy crept up the side of Mike, feeling his sweating body as he tried to keep from sticking to it. Man, he wished he could just stay with Mike’s dick in him, that would be heaven to him but they did have to come up for air sometimes.

As he snuggled up he noticed the strange jerking of Mike’s dick, and he smiled. Well, he thought, looks like I am striking pay dirt tonight and as he rested his head on Mikes chest, the smile was like a full moon in a clear blue sky. He absolutely glowed with the thought of having Mike once more before sleep overtook them both.

“Too bad we are out of whipped cream, I sure could go for more dessert. Hehe”

“Oh funny Mikey, but I know how you can get more, if you say the magic words.”

“Oh? The magic words hey, like what, roll over bitch?”
“OUCH”

“hehe, careful Mike, or I’ll get the claws out… hehe”

“Okay, you win, besides, you look too cute right now to toss off the bed.”

“Oh listen to my big strong jock stud, showing off his muscles for me”

“Well, yeah.”

“I know one muscle I like you to show me more of….hehe”

“Damn you are a horny one.”

“Yep, any objections?”

“Oh no, I do like it… come closer and I’ll show you”

They kissed lightly, Mike teasing Billy a little as he nibbled on the lower lip, and then grabbing the back of his head and holding it tight while he licked Billy’s chin and hollow of his neck.

“Dad was feisty tonight, wasn’t he?”

“Tell me about it, you know he really seems to like it when you call him dad”

“Well, in a way he is like a dad to me, you don’t mind that do you?”

“Me? No, shit I like it.”

“Cool, you know I wonder sometimes, about him and my dad, they have a history but never talk about it.”

“I noticed.”

“Wonder what got him so mischievous tonight, man you should have seen your face when he told you to take the whipped cream dessert…. Oh man that was so priceless.”

“OH sure, take his side.”

“Hey come on, us son in laws have to humour the old man”

“Oh like you weren’t totally surprised as well.”

“Yeah but, least I can keep it in my mouth…hehe”
“OUCH…STOP THAT”

“Big talk big man, notice a few drops escaped you earlier… hehehe”

“Yeah well that’s only cause you pulled out too quick, not my fault… hehe”

“Too quick? Oh sure blame me”

“He isn’t that what wives are for?  OUCH, that one hurt”

“Hey, the next one will hurt you more.”

“Nope, I know you never will do that.”

“OH? And just what makes you so sure there jock boy?”

“Hehe, cause you like sucking on it too much… ouch.. damn it Billy you hit me one more time and…”

“And what?”

“And, well… I don’t know, I’ll go to sleep…. There how’s that?”

Billy reached down with his hand, and he could feel the heat as his fingers twirled the small patch of pubic hairs, feeling the throbbing cock as it swayed to his prodding. He smiled; knowing that there was no way Mike would ‘just’ go to sleep.

“Ya know, I wish dad would find someone like I have, even if its some lady, do you think maybe he has?”

“I don’t know, maybe, I mean he is more jovial, I guess, specially this last month, ever since that business trip around new year’s.”

“Do you think it really was a business trip Mike?”

“I don’t know, he has been weird ever since, but he did go with what’s his name, so yeah it probably was a business trip.”

“Oh the money manager? Chris? Yeah that’s right. He could have met someone there though, it’s possible.”

“Well, maybe, would it bug you though?”

“What?”

“If he found another lady, I mean… well”

“Hmm, I don’t know, if she loved him I guess I wouldn’t mind, but man he’s going to have a tough time finding some lady who can accept two gay sons, not to mention the gay son in law…hehe”

“Oh well, we could always find a place together and let them have the house.”

“Oh I can see dad letting that happen, but… well we could always take over the guest house. It does have its own hot tub, mmmm, that does sound good.”

“Oh no you don’t, last time you got me in there I wrinkled up like a prune.”

“But I love prunes, hehe specially the wrinkly ones but if I remember right, not everything was all shrivelled up and wrinkled… hehe”

“Perv”

“Yep, now come here…”

“Oh, sure now you want me… I don’t … oh god Billy, no…. shit, you.. aaaaaaahhhhhh”

Seth was startled by the loud groan that came from the ‘boys’ room and a smile crossed his face. Damn they were at it again, and here he was sitting alone. Well, maybe that is as it should be, but why? Why couldn’t he have what his two sons had? Why couldn’t he have someone in his life and he stared at the phone again, feeling it draw him closer.

Strange, he kept feeling the phone calling to him, drawing him closer, and yet each time that he did get there, he felt like he was betraying something. It was as if by picking up the phone, by going forward with his life, he was mocking the past but that really couldn’t be true, people moved on, and yes, it was a change for him, not something he had really considered, least until Billy’s birthday.

He sat in the chair, the news long since ended, even the weird infomercials were over and there he sat, his fingers tapping the mahogany end table, his mind lost in reverie of times past. This had been his nightly ritual, ever since that night long ago, and for the most of those long years, he hadn’t really minded.

Lately, well lately things had changed a little, he no longer accepted his solitude well. He found himself questioning it often, still unable to sleep till dawn approached, but now not just sad, but some anger too.

Regrets filled the silent empty room where once laughter and merriment roared around the entire house. It didn’t matter what time he would come home, she was always there, waiting, not with a scowl like many wives would, but with a joke or a little tidbit of news that would make him smile, no matter how hard of a day he had.

He could see her everywhere his eyes would travel, he could remember some of the jokes even, told from that chair, or over by that curtain or even by that table. He could remember it all, and that was how time would pass, but lately, lately he felt restless, as if something was wrong, as if there was something missing.

The clock crept onwards; even though time seemed to stand still it still moved on remorsefully, still ticking away the empty hours. He felt lonely, as if the weight of the world pressed on his broad shoulders and yet he knew, deep down inside, that he had the power to ease that load, to have it shared, but he felt he fear of his age and of his children.

Seth saw the hand creep towards 2am and he wasn’t feeling any better. His depression wasn’t easing with his memories of better times, because the bad still intruded, the guilt still lay heavy on his heart. Standing, he edged over to the long bay windows, his hand lightly passing over the cold receiver, hesitating then moving on as he stood staring out at the back yard.

“Why don’t you call?”

“You know I can’t” he said softly, his voice matching the soft willowy voice that spoke in his ear.

“Yes you can Seth, you need to.”

“I can’t, I can’t do it, I want to… but”

“but what Seth? You feel like you will betraying a past love? You know nothing can ever change that love, nothing can ever erase it from your heart, so why can’t you?”

“You know why, you of all people know why.”

“No, I don’t know why, I know why you think so, but I don’t know that, I never felt that way, not for a second, and that you have to believe.”

“How? How can I believe that, you had to feel that, I was so… damn it I can’t even say it to myself.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you did what you felt you had to do, then, and even now Seth, put it to rest my love, let it go.”

“Oh God, I can’t, I am so afraid…”

“Afraid? My strong man, afraid? No, there is nothing for you to fear, don’t you see, I will never leave, I am as much a part of you as you are of me… together we made mistakes, but oh dear Seth, don’t you also see what wonderful music we made together?”

“Music? No, I didn’t have anything to do with that, oh Christ, I almost lost them, I still can… I can’t let my guard down, you have to see that.”

“Come with me and let me show you that you are a part of that wonderful tune, come my strong silent man, come with me just one more time… can you do that?”

He stared outwards, his body trembling and cold with fear. There had been many times when he had faced his demons, many times when he had faced odds that said he couldn’t win, and yet somehow he had. He knew it wasn’t because he was some genius, or some extra smart man, but it was because of the faith she had in him. That was his secret and now, now all he did was live off those successes, no longer the fiery firebrand who crusaded against corporate greed, or righted wrongs that all men knew were wrong but afraid to confront.

The trees swayed in the yard, and he could almost feel them whispering to him, urging him to go on and take her hand one more time. The shining blonde hair flowed around him, her scent filled his nostrils and he could see that smile as it worked its way past his fears and doubts. The shivering was only getting worse as he stubbornly held his place, knowing that he should follow, wishing he had the strength when he felt the soft touch against his cheek.

The tears came flooding out as he felt it, felt her hand against his brow, her smell overpowering him as he stepped back, his will no longer his own to command.

Up the long winding stairs he walked, his mind rebelling, his heart quaking and yet on his feet went, each step, each inch pure agony to him and yet he couldn’t stop, she had woven her spell once more and he could deny her nothing now as he climbed the final step, turned the corner to stare at the closed door, hearing nothing but sounds of slumber vibrating from it.

His hand reached out, touching the knob, feeling the heat of her hand as it pressed on his icy cold flesh and stilled his rebellious heart. The door knob turned to her command and the door slowly opened.

Seth stood in the doorway, staring at the two figures that lay in the bed, their young naked bodies entwined together in every fashion possible, not one inch of their young bodies further than a centimetre from each other.

Hands lay across chests, or around shoulders. Legs were over each other, in a maze that no one could penetrate and yet the sounds of slumber, of a rest well earned echoed through the room.

He could feel their heart beats, the steady beat of two hearts, in perfect harmony as they lay there together. He saw his son’s face, resting cheek to cheek with that of Mikes and his heart started to pound hard inside his chest. They looked so perfect together, so much at peace and he watched as a soft shadowy figurine seemed to just float around them.

The long soft hands lightly passed across his son’s face, resting briefly on his short cropped blonde hair, and it wiped the rebellious lock aside, showing his angelic face as he slept. It swept past to brush through the dark mass of hair that was Michael’s and he could see him tremble a little, as the hand lightly touched his face too, lightly brushed his cheek too and then he saw the face, her face, as it turned up and stared at him.

It was like a dozen arrows piercing his heart, as she looked deep into his chestnut eyes, turning them into a quagmire of molten chocolate. He could feel his resolve crumbling as her beautiful blue eyes bore into his and found their way deep into his soul.

She held out her hand, beckoning him to come to her and to their boys, that was how it felt, deep within his soul as her voice echoed softly in his ears. The blood boiled in his veins as his heart stuttered and grew dangerously quiet. He was losing his will, or maybe his sanity, but his mind was no longer his to command, no longer his to order or control and he found himself slowly sitting down on the bed, next to her, next to his sleeping son and his lover.

The hand reached up, touching his cheek, gently wiping away the tears and turning his face downwards towards the sleeping boys and his heart caught deep within his throat. He could feel them, feel their young hearts beating inside his own chest and there was more too. It wasn’t a beat, but more like a young river of passion that seemed to be flowing and now it flowed through his own veins, replacing his blood with their young love.

Seth was amazed at how his body started to simply quiver in urgent desire, in a desperate effort to have his own river of passion ignited again and then he found himself down by the phone once more. He saw his hand resting on the cold receiver, now dotted with his sweat as he hesitated.

His eyes looked up and there she stood, by his side, her own hand resting on his, her lips open, waiting for him to take that next step and her eyes, oh god her eyes bore deep into him, touching him where only she could touch him and he knew she was wanting this as much as he did too.

For the first time in a long long time, Seth admitted that he too desired what his sons had found. He too, finally came to the realization that a life of self imposed exile was not for him, that yes he had made mistakes, but now he could take those mistakes and make something more of them. He could learn from them, and allow himself the chance to gain what he knew she wanted for him.

Slowly, he picked up the receiver, the dial tone buzzing loudly in the room, and he turned around, fearing its noise would wake his boys up, knowing it was just one more attempt to back down, to not make that call.

His hand was wrapped around the receiver, his knuckles white from the pressure he was applying to it, his will battling with hers, trying to hold onto his image of the past, desperate to deny himself any chance for more, out of regret, out of guilt, and yet the battle was far from reaching a climax. His heart told him that, and his soul added its own voice to the raging debate inside his head as her voice whispered softly.

The words of love filled him, fought his stubborn resolve to condemn himself for misconceived perceptions, his training battling her will which was as strong as steel at times, and was proving, even now, to be no match for his own. Her love once more flowed in his veins; he could smell her and he sank down into the chair, the receiver in his hand, his eyes filled with tears as he struggled to make sense of it all.

It never was much of a contest. He was beaten long before the war started. His love for her was total, he could deny her nothing and she never had played that one card, no matter how tempted she had been, she never once had called upon him to prove his love, she had always simply known it. Now, she called it, she forced his will to crumble and he dialled the number, knowing that he loved her today as much, if not more, than on their last day together. There could never be any doubt of that as he heard the phone ringing on the other end.

An eternity passed before him, tears flowed down his cheeks as he waited, knowing that it was the only way to silence the pain, and to enjoy what she had left him. To be the father his boys needed and to be the man she expected him to be, even though she was no longer there to guide him.

“Who the fuck is this?” the angry voice on the phone yelled, sleep still evident in his slurred words.

“It’s Seth, Can you come over now? I… Damn … I need you to be here.”

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