Chapter Six

The stars make no noise.

-                    Irish Proverb

Billy didn’t know what to do now. He shivered slightly as he started to click the mouse, bringing up more of the story and more of the pages of naked young boys. He could smell Mike’s scent, and it was having a strange affect on his whole body. Tremors seemed to be racing through him, just like in the earthquake they had a few years back.

Damn it, he was getting all excited and he still wasn’t sure if Mike was, or wasn’t. How the fuck was he gonna find out? If he came right out and asked, he could lose the only real friend he ever had. The way his body ached, if he didn’t find out he was going to have one hard dick all night long and that was something he couldn’t hide from his overnight guest.

Billy stole a glance out of the corner of his eye to see Mike’s narrow face, inches away from his own. His hand rested lightly on the back of his chair, and he desperately wanted to lean back, to feel the strong fingers against his own slender neck. He could see the dark eye lashes flutter and the firm jaw, the way it was set, concentrating on the computer screen.

This was not a good idea. Billy could feel his heart pounding and his lungs were aching to draw in more air. He felt like he was suffocating and the room was getting rather unsteady. Damn, just what he needed now, to have one of his panic attacks. His hand was starting to shake and he was sure that Mike was noticing it all. He never did miss much, and Billy knew he couldn’t hide things from him.

The mouse moved awkwardly, and the pointer was resting on one of the largest sized dicks he had ever viewed. It was funny the way the pointed end rested right on the tip of the glossy picture, right by the slit, and his eyes fluttered. He wondered if Mike’s dick was that large now, or was it still growing? His own pants were getting tight as his mind refused to concentrate on the task at hand, instead it was conjuring up images of Mike from their past times together.

It was becoming too much for him. The unease of not knowing was slowly strangling him. His throat felt raw and he knew that Mike had noticed his cum spot earlier. He also knew that Mike could see how damn hard he was right now. What must be going through that marvellous head, he wondered as he tried to shake off the images of a nude mike and move the mouse to click on the next page link.

Mike could feel the sweat on his palms, the way his heart was beating he was sure Billy would notice and comment, and hell he always had a comment or two to through out. Well, maybe this time he could beat him to the punch but damn he look so fucking hot, sitting there with his dick pressing up against the crotch of the jeans.

He knew if he stood up that Billy would spot his own erection, it was damned if he stayed, or outed if he stood up. He still wasn’t sure, what happened when they were little kids was one thing; now as 16 year olds was something totally different. Billy wasn’t just some kid at school, he was a brain and popular, not one of your normal combinations.

If he came out, would that end his football career? Right now it was all he had, the thrill of heading off to the field, of standing in front of everyone and being a someone. He hated being in the crowd and he needed to have his football. If he screwed up here, could he survive it? Then there was the parents, they weren’t exactly the easiest to talk to and the move had certainly got them all in a bother.

How did you tell your father that you weren’t into the girls or that sex with a female was something that kind of made you limp and not hard? He just couldn’t do that to his Dad, and his mom, well that would be a fun thing to do, tell her he was interested in her best friends son. Damn he couldn’t do that to them, they had spent their whole lives doing things for him, and he repays it by being a fag.

He shook his head and noticed Billy suck in his chest. Shit, even Billy was picking up on his vibes, but that really wasn’t a surprise. He had never known anyone like Billy before. This was his idea of what he wished he could be. Just look at him, he thought, as the screen flickered and another picture of some naked guy started to load.

Here he was, the smartest kid in school, definitely fast tracked to becoming student body president next year, definitely class valedictorian, and he was being nice and letting him spend the weekend, out of what? Out of past friendship? Damn, he wished he knew the answer; it would make it so much easier.

There were times when he was sure that Billy was gay, but then he would throw out some comment or move a certain way and no way could he be gay. Shit, life was too fucking confusing and now he had committed himself. That kiss on the birthday, man he felt like his whole world would end the next day. He was sure that when he got to school that everyone would be snickering and his locker would be covered with hate graffiti.

Instead he found nothing, heard no catcalls or anything. It was as if the episode never happened, yet Billy couldn’t keep that a secret, or would he? Maybe he did it cause he wasn’t sure of the meaning; maybe it was cause they had been school friends that he kept his mouth shut. That had to be it, but then… shit here was doing it again, wondering, and hoping that Billy could be as he was.

The final page loaded and Mike knew he had to do or say something. All sorts of thoughts had run through his mind, he was still wondering why Billy had shown him these type of pictures, was it to get him to admit he liked them, could it be to drag the truth out of him, or dare he hope it was to show his own secret desires?

Well his moment of truth was at hand, and he plucked up his courage to force the issue, once and for all. He couldn’t stand not knowing, he just couldn’t go through an entire night of being in this room without at least knowing if he had a chance at being happy.

Funny, the one thing he had thought about when he knew he’d be meeting Billy again, was how much he wanted to be with him, to hold him and to just take care of him forever. Strange, he had always looked up to Billy, he was the strong one, the smart one and yet he always felt this urge to protect and look after him.

Well now he would either get a punch in the face, a dirty look, and most likely wind up trying to explain all this to his parents. Well, he’d cross that bridge when he came to it, which most likely was going to be damn soon.

“So…”

“So what Mike?”

“So… where are the pics of you?”

There, it was out. He had made his opening move and he was desperate to try and see what Billy’s face showed. He hoped that if he just stared off at the screen he could get through it all without too much pain. He didn’t mind pain all that much, least the physical stuff didn’t really phase him much, but his heart ached and he doubted if he could survive without knowing.

“Of me?  Why, uh… what is that supposed to mean… I mean…”

“Well, uh… shit they are hot guys man… figured you’d be there too…”

Shit he sounded so fucking lame, why didn’t he just come out with it. Funny how Billy always made him feel so nervous.

Billy didn’t know which way to turn. If he stood up his fucking hard on would give the show away, if he stayed there much longer he’d pass out from all the stress he was feeling. His heart ached so damn much it was pure torture. He could feel his chest heaving under the strain and with each laboured breathe he took, he could smell Mike, and that only made it worse.

Sitting through all those damn hot guys was not helping either. He saw a dick or a grin and his mind would start back wondering if Mike’s was that way, or if Mike could do that, or hell if he would. He kept thinking of how it would feel to just be laying naked next to Mike and now it was time to move. No way could he stay at the desk all night, next to Mike.

Mike’s words echoed inside his head. What was going on; was Mike pulling his chain? Could Mike be trying to get him to admit that he was some limp wrested faggot? Damn that would really make his month. Here he was planning on pushing himself to be grade president and some jock was going to blow it for him.

As he thought the words out, a small smile crossed his face as he also thought of how damn hot it would be to have Mike blow him. Shit, now he couldn’t even think right, everything came back to Mike and that damn hot look he always seemed to have. The way he fluttered his dark eyelashes, the way his lips curled around, the way his jaw was set when he had something on his mind. Fuck he was losing it and now he had to answer why he had shown these type of pictures.

“Huh? What, I mean why would mine be there?”

Mike took a deep breath. Well, here goes he thought. “Cause you better looking than most of them… that is why”

Billy sat there, unsure of what to say. His own breathing was becoming very irregular and his chest hurt like hell. Damn it, Mike always knew how to get under his skin. Well, that would be nice, but there he went again, he was faced with a real problem and all his dumb ass blond head could think of was getting into Mike’s pants. What the hell, maybe Mike really wanted him to.

“You think I am that hot? And just how would you know that?”

“Well… I guess I don’t really know that… guess you could prove me wrong…”

“Taking it back now are you? Fine… and just how would I prove you wrong? Strip or something?”

The words just seemed to hang in the air for an eternity. Mike looked everywhere but at Billy, afraid his desire would betray him. Billy was trying to simply not pass out, his excitement and fear was neck and neck as to which had a greater hold of his heart at that moment.

A soft whispered  “yes” seemed to suddenly just echoe in the still of the room. Billy swallowed and slowly turned his face upwards towards Mike. He met with the dark eyes of Mike peering down at him. There was no way that Mike couldn’t see his boner now, and hell, why should he hide it?

“Yes?”

“Yes… strip and …”

“and what… you’ll tell me if I am as hot as those studs on the screen?”

“Yep”

“So let me see, if I get up and strip naked for you, you’ll decide if I am as hot as those guys or not?”

“You going to talk this thing to death?”

“I just not sure what it is you want …”

“Want? Nothing, look either you strip or you don’t it doesn’t matter to me”

“Liar”

“Yep”

There, he had it out now. Billy could make out of this whatever he wanted, but he felt like he had just lost 40 pounds of fat. His whole body seemed to be at ease now, and he waited to see if Billy would tell him to fuck off, scream, or ‘hope against hope’ strip.

Billy looked into the dark brooding eyes and he could see the sparkle there, and something else. His heart seemed to melt as he found himself standing away from the chair and backed up towards the foot of his bed.

His blue eyes were fixed firmly on Mike’s dark eyes. He saw the eyelashes flutter as he moved back towards the bed. He could see Mike’s lips quivering a little as he saw the huge bulge in his jeans. Well he couldn’t hide that, and well, it was what he wanted to see, or was it?

There was an air of excitement, of danger, that made his own body start to quiver. Every nerve seemed to suddenly be alive within his small compact frame, his ears started to turn colour, becoming red as he reached down and lifted up his shirt. He lost sight of Mike but he could hear him sucking in his breath as he exposed his lily white stomach to Mike’s eyes.

Billy took a deep breath while his shirt covered his face and he managed to even wipe his eyes a bit, to clear them up as he tugged the shirt up and over his head. He tossed his head, letting his short cropped blond hair fall back into place.

His eyes opened to stare right back into Mike’s face. He had moved, he was no longer resting against the desk, but was standing up straight and tall like a warrior,  He had stepped forward too, and was closer to Billy.

Billy tossed his shirt off to one side, missing the bed entirely and he licked his lips, watching Mike’s eyes. He thought he saw a flicker inside them, but wasn’t sure as he moved his long thin hands down the sides of his body. He stopped halfway down, seeing Mike staring hard right at him, but not into his eyes, instead he could see that Mike’s eyes were fixed to his hands, watching them move, almost as if they were willing them to move.

Damn he felt hot right now, not in the sense of being some stud, but as if he was in the middle of a blast furnace. Sweat was starting to form on his forehead and he could feel that the palms of his hands were coated in perspiration. Despite his anxiety level rising, Billy started to move his hands further down his thin body. He felt his own ribs and then the small pinch of baby fat that he had.

As his hands reached the waist band of his jeans, he stared at Mike. He saw him licking his lips and he thought he could see tiny cracks on the thin lips and those damn eyes. Fuck they were stone cold looking, but as his own eyes gazed into them he saw something that just seemed to melt his own panic. Suddenly his fear of being found out vanished.

Instead of worrying about what would happen after he stripped, he wondered if Mike would really find him as attractive as those other studs that had paraded on the screen earlier. He took another small breath, feeling the need to calm his nerves. Every muscle in his young body seemed to tense itself up as his hands pushed on his pants.

He could feel himself sweating now, his jeans refusing to budge from his hips despite his pressure. He glanced down to realize he had forgotten to unbutton them and as he looked up he saw a transformation come over Mike.

He had his face spread open in the most dazzling grin he had ever seen. His whole face was lit up like a Christmas tree and his eyes no longer seemed brooding. Instead they seemed like a sky full of stars, shining and twinkling in the midnight sky. A laugh seemed to be not far off from his lips and yet there was something else there, something far more serious, more exciting than anything Billy had ever imagined possible.

He looked up, seeing it all, and didn’t move a muscle as he watched the smiling face come closer to him. He licked his lips as the secret heartthrob came within an inch of his own trembling young body.

“Here, let me help Billy” was all he said but it spoke volumes to him. He stood up and stared into Mike’s dark glistening eyes. He could see a small tear etched on the corner of an eyelash and he reached out with his hand to wipe it away as he felt Mike’s strong hands pull at his jeans waist.

The button opened easily to Mike’s hand and the zipper was forced to go down as Mike merely pulled the jeans apart. He looked up to stare into Billy’s powder blue eyes, and he could see what he had secretly hoped for.

He couldn’t stop himself, his body was tingling as he let his hands fall to his side and he stared into the most perfect blue he had every witnessed in his young life. IT was as if he had been set free and he could see in those eyes no trace of fear, no trace of panic, instead just desire and trust.

Mike reached across, his eyes mesmerized by the blue of Billy’s eyes as his lips pursed themselves together and he gently kissed Billy’s lips.

It was like a lightning bolt had just hit him. Billy staggered under the force and almost fell backwards onto the bed. Only Mike’s strong arms reaching out and grapping him stopped him from tumbling onto the bed. Come to think of it, that wouldn’t have been so bad.

He felt the kiss still; the touch of Mike’s hot mouth against his own quivering mouth had sent bolts of energy through him. His cock had jerked hard inside his underwear and he could feel every hair on his body tingling, as if it had received a charge of pure electricity.

Mike felt himself stagger a bit as his lips touched Billy’s mouth, and then he realized that Billy was leaning back. He stretched out his long muscular arms to hold onto Billy, and the touch of that pure milky flesh against his own soft hands made him quake inside.

His heart ached and he felt very light headed. He had never experienced this type of feeling before. It was totally weird, and yet it felt so damn right, so perfect, and so good.

“Wow”

“Yeah”

“Uh…”

“What?”

“I don’t know, I should say something, I guess”

“No… I don’t think so Mike, I…”

“But… I mean… Billy I…”

“Mike… shut up and kiss me again”

Mike didn’t need any other words. He reached out and quickly pulled Billy into his chest. He pressed his mouth hard against the surprised Billy and forced his tongue out. It shot out like a cannon ball and tasted Billy’s lips. Mike’s whole body shook as he pressed even harder, feeling Billy’s body curl into his own athletic one.

Billy’s hands found themselves around Mike’s waist and he was hugging the hard body tight. He didn’t ever want to let go of his friend and he could feel the warm wet tongue pressing against his lips. He opened his lips gingerly to the pressure, and before he could take a breath he found his mouth being invaded by a rushing hot weapon.

It pushed aside his thin lips, forcing his jaw open even wider and his mind was reeling from the totally awesome experience. There was no way for his mind to describe the feeling to the rest of his body. His whole body trembled, uncontrollably as Mike’s tongue tasted his mouth.

Billy could feel himself going slack and his whole body seemed to collapse as Mike’s tongue explored his mouth. He felt like he was floating as Mike’s strong arms held him up. If it wasn’t for those arms he be on the floor now. The feelings were just too numerous for him to comprehend, all he knew for sure was that his heart was singing like a damn banshee, shrieking its joy as Mike licked his mouth clean, and tasted every inch of the inside, including his throat.

They broke apart, Mike still firmly holding onto Billy’s body. He was unwilling to let him go, his heart was still racing as he stared into the blue eyes, and he waited for them to stop spinning. A thin smile crossed his face as he saw the eyes flicker and then focus on his face. There was no fear, just pure jubilation inside and his body relaxed.

They stood there, both exhausted, unsure of what to do next as they tried to make sense of the jumbled emotions that were racing through them. They could feel their bodies and hormones raging inside, but the mind still couldn’t come to terms with the situation.

Finally Billy pulled back a bit, so he could sit down on the foot of his bed. He sat there, Mike’s hands now on his shoulders, still refusing to break the contact. Damn it felt so friggin hot in the room yet it was cool outside.

Billy could sense that Mike was feeling awkward, and he looked up into the emerald green eyes, to see the uncertainty floating around. He reached up with one hand, to take Mike’s hand off his shoulder and then he pulled gently on it, to force Mike to come closer.

Mike took a few halting steps until he couldn’t go further without falling on top of Billy. He stood there looking down into the deep liquid pools of Billy’s eyes. He saw them flicker with a strange glow, sort of like a light, no that wasn’t it, more like someone striking a match to light a candle or something. It sparked and fluttered a bit then took hold, dancing a bit as it grew suddenly very bright, then settled down.

It was like a magnet to him and he slowly found himself squatting on his heels, his knees bent, his face now level with Billy’s. He just sat there, all hunched up, staring into the eyes, watching the flame flicker here and there, but generally just glow inside the blue orbs.

His heart started to ache inside his chest. Mike could feel his muscles tightening up once more as he just was so damn fascinated by watching Billy’s eyes. He could tell that Billy was starting to get uncomfortable. Funny, he thought, that he could sense that. He blinked and started to stand up, his hand still in Bill’s. Damn that felt so good, nothing like he had ever felt before.

Billy watched Mike rising up from the floor and he marvelled at just how damn hot this old childhood friend was. Fuck, he was like a giant to him, even though he really wasn’t any taller. It was just that he seemed to fill the room with his presence. He never noticed that before, how much he missed Mike and having him close by.

There was something very changed though, something uncertain that troubled his heart as he watched Mike stand up. He could feel Mike’s pulse racing, feel the sweat beading up in the palm of his hand, that just seemed to lay in his own hand.

He glanced up and into the soft angular face, the dark eyelashes fluttering, the dark thick eyebrows setting off his pale skin. There was no doubt that Mike was a real heart throb. To think, he could lay claim to someone as hot and special made his own heart quicken and his own pulse race ahead. Could this really be happening, did Mike really kiss him that way?  He had had a few experiences of kissing, one was with Taylor  of course, but the other were with a couple of girls and nothing could compare to the feeling he had when Mike’s tongue was inside his mouth.

Billy felt his own tongue moving around his cheeks, tasting a strange presence, knowing that Mike had been there. It made him break out in a sweat, to realize that some man had kissed him so hard, so completely, and that damn it, it was the greatest feeling he had experienced. He looked back up at Mike and smiled.

“Now that was a kiss” Billy said as he watched Mike standing there, gazing down at him.

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah… I do…”

“Well… I can do better if given a chance”

“If you do any better I’ll wind up creaming my fucking drawers”

“Well, uh… that could be fun… so… uh… you going to just sit there with your pants at your ankles or you going to take those things off and let me see if you really are as hot as them guys on the puter?”

Billy cocked his head to one side, as if there was a sudden glare in his eyes. He looked long at Mike’s figure standing there, the cock in his underwear totally erect and so damn hard that it hurt. His balls were tight up against his thick shaft and he wondered if he could manage to get the damn underwear off without making himself shoot his load.

“I don’t know… depends.”

“Oh?  Now it depends does it? And just what does it depend on?” Mike replied, moving back to stand as close as possible to Billy.

He had taken a threatening posture but Billy knew it was all a scam. There had been a time when he was afraid of Mike, but not now. Now he knew that Mike would never do anything to hurt him, never be away from his side.  He just smiled as that thought filled his mind. Mike was his; no one else could ever come close to making him feel this way, which was a certainty that you could take to the bank.

Mike could feel Billy’s thoughts, he sensed the sudden security that Billy was feeling and it amazed him. Billy used to be afraid at times, not sure when he would jokingly look angry, but now he wasn’t, now he knew. A slight chill crept through his body as he trembled a bit with the knowledge dawning inside him that this wasn’t just a fling. This wasn’t something that most kids thought of when they thought of getting it on, this was something that had meaning, not just to him, but also to Billy.

In some ways he was feeling scared. It was an awesome responsibility that he was about to take on. Doubts, hesitations, all crowded inside his head as he moved and sat down on the bed. He needed time to understand what he was doing, and yet, the more he looked at Billy the more certain he was that this was right for him to do.

All those years of listening to people make fag jokes, comment on how gross gay sex was, flooded through his mind as he stared over at Billy’s angelic face. There was something peaceful about him, something dangerous too and he realized that together they were heading into a whole new world that neither of them knew much about.

He could feel his fingers tightening their hold on Billy’s hand. It was reassuring to him that touch and he knew that no matter what lay ahead, that he would be happy in the end. Mike also could tell that Billy was feeling much of what he was, that fears of society, of his family was clouding his thoughts.

Billy sat there, waiting for Mike, wondering how they were going to make this work. He also worried about what Mike would say or do if he told him about Taylor. Damn it, he didn’t have to say anything actually but then if he didn’t and Mike found out… shit he was getting ahead of himself here. They hadn’t done anything yet, maybe they shouldn’t.

As that thought entered his head, he felt his hand squeezed tightly by Mike. He glanced up and saw a deep understanding of his thoughts inside of Mike’s sparkling eyes. Damn him, he thought, he can read my fucking mind now.

Mike couldn’t explain it, he just leaned over and kissed Billy lightly on the cheek. Then he stretched back, letting go of Billy’s hand and waited. He didn’t have long to wait as Billy quickly pulled himself up onto the bed and lay even with Mike’s prone body.

Billy turned towards Mike, his body shivering slightly as his pants dangled from his thin ankles at the foot of the bed. Mike lay there, looking at him, and he so wanted to hold him. As he thought of what it would be like to have Mike’s arms around him he felt his skin tingle.

It was unreal, but there were Mike’s strong arms, wrapping themselves around his shaking body. How, he was scared now, how could Mike of known, damn he CAN READ MY MIND he thought as he gathered his courage to look up into Mike’s face.

Mike couldn’t explain it, he just knew that he needed to hold Billy close to his heart. He pulled and wrapped his arms around the blond bombshell that was his friend. He could feel the body shaking a little as Billy snuggled into his arms. Shit, it felt so damn good to just hold him like this, he wasn’t sure if he could handle them having sex. He would never survive it if it was half as powerful as the feelings were right now.

Billy suddenly felt like the whole world had simply vanished to his mind. His pain from years earlier was no longer lurking in the background, waiting to spring forth and bring tears to his eyes. His fears of going out in the world no longer filled his mind or troubled his heart. Everything suddenly was at peace, calmed and pushed away like so much dust.

Mike’s soft voice floated across him as he lay there, wondering how long this would last.

“I am not going to go anywhere Billy… not as long as you want me to be here.”

Billy started to cry as he heard the words echo inside his heart. He knew now just what his brother had meant, when he said he needed to find his own way, to find his own other half. The tears flowed down his cheeks and instead of trying to run away, as was his normal practise; he snuggled in closer to Mike’s body. The wet tears soaking into Mike’s shirt.

“Don’t cry Billy… please…”

“I can’t help it Mike… damn it… I want to be with you so much…”

“You are now Billy… and always will be…”

“No… you don’t understand… I have…”

“What? Got secrets? Who doesn’t … but it doesn’t matter.”

“yes it does… well this one will, anyway…”

“Come on… it won’t … I promise… and you know I have never broken a promise to you”

“I slept with Taylor Mike…there… now you know…”

Billy leaned back, his head level with Mikes as he waited for Mike to jump out of the bed and leave him. He knew it was coming, he could see the hurt in Mike’s eyes, then the disbelief as he digested Billy’s hard words. He felt his heart stuttering inside, feeling his pain as he waited for Mike’s judgement.

Mike could see the turmoil flaring across Billy’s heart. He felt a sharp stab of pain in his chest, and he knew that Billy was hurting bad, that this revelation had caused him a great deal of anguish. He looked into the blue eyes and suddenly he just knew what he had to do.

Without any other thought, he simply stood up, seeing Billy’s eyes bulge from their sockets. He didn’t smile down; he just stood there for one or two seconds, seeing the pain inside of Billy rushing upwards to engulf his whole body. Tears were flowing down his cheeks, tears of pain and loss.

He couldn’t stand it, it hurt his own heart to see this, but he knew what he had to do and so he turned to face Billy. He raised his hands up and quickly undid his shirt buttons, opening his shirt fully; he then reached back and let it fall of his shoulders to float down to the floor.

Not for a second did his eyes leave those of Billy’s. He didn’t wait for the realization to register, and he quickly had his two strong arms, that only seconds earlier held Billy next to him, down to his waist and he opened his jeans, popping the button and forcing the zipper down. Then in one single motion he yanked on the waistband, pushing the jeans to his ankles, where he simply stepped out of them. He didn’t stop there either and raising his feet, one by one, he took his socks off so he stood up straight with only his underwear on. That lasted for only another second as he moved like a well-oiled machine and as his eyes saw Billy start to realize what was happening, he had his underwear down and off his body.

Mike stood there, totally and completely naked. He looked at Billy lying on the bed, and then slowly he climbed back onto the bed and opened his arms.