Chapter 9

Monday April 10^th

4:07 p.m. P.S.T.

It really wasn’t much of a fight, at least not by school standards, but it had its desired effect. Brain had left with an assortment of bruises and scrapes despite only receiving a dozen or so blows. He hadn’t managed to get more than two shots in on Tyler; and everyone just milled around, almost as if they were disappointed in the outcome, or maybe just in the shortness of the battle.

Tyler slowly managed to get his heart rate down and as Brian had slunk off alone, as it should be, Tyler turned to see Casey helping Zack up and he received a slight pat on the shoulder, turning to see Justin staring at him. He didn’t know what to make of it but Justin seemed like he was almost in tears; and yet there was something else that made Tyler hesitate before smiling back, something scary that was making him shake a little; or maybe it just was his body coming down from its fever pitch. He had felt this way before, right after a game, but the chill he had was new.

Before he could say anything someone in the crowd made the comment that it all seemed crazy and Tyler turned towards where the voice had come from and he saw a student he knew from his socials class.

Tyler “What is so crazy Nate?”

Nate “Huh, what do you mean?”

Tyler “You said this was crazy, you mean the fight, what?”

Nate “Yeah, I guess. I mean you guys turned on one of your own, for what? A fag. It doesn’t make sense man.”

Tyler “Oh? Doesn’t it? Why, because Brian was a jock makes it okay for him to pick on someone? Is that what you are saying?”

Nate “No. Well maybe. I just think that it is crazy. Brian may be a first class jerk but he’s one of you guys, why would you take some fag’s side over his?”

Tyler “Shit, you just don’t get it do you? It isn’t about what Zack is or isn’t, it’s about doing what is right, and why should being a jock give Brian, or me for that matter, special privileges? Now that is what is really crazy, or don’t you think so?”

Nate “Shit man, don’t bite my head off. I think Brian was a jerk off; but still, he is one of you.”

Tyler “One of me? Do you even know what I am? Do any of you know?”

Darren “Fuck, don’t tell us you are a fag too?”

Tyler “And that would make a difference would it Darren?”

Darren “Shit I don’t know, I mean…”

Tyler “Yeah I know what you mean, and you know something, until now I don’t think I really understood just how fucked this whole ‘you’ ‘them’ crap is.”

Nate “Hey, we didn’t make the rules man; but uh, are you?”

Tyler “No, I am not gay if that is what you want to know; and just who did make the rules if not us? Huh? Come on, who made these rules?”

Darren “Christ, what is up your ass? What difference does it make who made the rules, it’s the way things are, nothing we can do about it. Shit, what are you griping about anyways Tyler, you are in the ‘group’ and more than that, you are the head dude, so why the beef?”

Tyler “Yeah I am in that group. We get the primo spots at lunch. Anyone wants to sit under the big tree out front and we come along, they leave, we stay; and when we have a party, everyone lines up to get an invite, willing to do anything to go, and so we have it made don’t we. Except for one small thing.”

Nate “What’s that?”

Tyler “It is wrong.”

Darren “Okay, so it’s wrong. It is still the way things are, so what are you going to do about it?”

Tyler “Well, for starters, maybe it’s time we all did something about it. Look Darren, I don’t know you, maybe if I wasn’t this jock we’d be friends, maybe not; but don’t you think we should decide that on what we think of each other and not what group we are both in?

“How about it Nate, you should know that one. Think I should like Darren because he’s in an accepted group, or should it be because I think he’s cool or an okay guy?”

Nate “Shit why ask me?”

Tyler “Easy. Cause not long ago, you wouldn’t have been allowed to set foot on this property; you wouldn’t have been allowed to use the washrooms or sit in the same class with me; and all because you are different. That’s why I am asking you, cause you and all minorities should understand this; and you should be the one’s pissed at all this, or did you sleep in history class all these years?”

Nate “Fuck, what the hell does any of this have to do with rights for minorities?”

Tyler “Nate, you wake up one day and just decide to be black?”

Nate “Shit no, course not, but…”

Tyler “But nothing. You all sit around and think that guys like Zack here just woke up one day wanting cock instead of pussy? Think about it Nate; why would anyone choose to be humiliated, choose to be picked on, pushed, kicked, beaten, when they can get by otherwise?”

Darren “Shit who knows why they choose to be that way. Why should I have to defend them? I didn’t make em that way or tell em to be that way.”

Tyler “Yeah, so you hate Nate cause he’s black then?”

Darren “No, don’t know the guy, colour isn’t important to me.”

Tyler “Oh, so its okay for people to be coloured or to be Asian or Mexican but not gay huh?”

Nate “It’s not the same thing Tyler. Geez, what’s the big deal anyway?”

Tyler “Cause, discrimination is wrong no matter what you call it. Christ, you really think Zack likes to be picked on, never mind how he must feel when we all talk about our girlfriends but he can’t say a word, cause if he does maybe he’ll get beaten up; or worse, left out in some woods to die? It happens, and maybe part of why it happens is because none of us lift a finger against people like Brian; or when someone does, we think its no big deal, after all it’s just a fag, right?”

Justin “Christ Tyler, cool down, these guys ain’t worth the effort.”

Tyler “No? Maybe you are right; but then again, aren’t we all worth it. I mean, shit Justin, there is enough crap out there without us having to make it worse for ourselves, this is our school, our lives, why should we let some ‘rules’ that no one knows who made them dictate who I can be friends with, or have over for a party, or any of that shit?”

Casey “Like you really think you are going to make a difference Tyler? Shit, it will all be forgotten before 1st period tomorrow, except that Zack and I are queer, that they’ll remember; so save it, one person isn’t going to make a difference, even if he is the star football player.”

Tyler “Fuck that Casey, I don’t believe it, sorry man, but I just don’t believe it anymore. Maybe I am just one person; but look around, together we are a group, we have loud voices and we can make a difference; and maybe it takes more than one to make those changes, but it has to start somewhere, doesn’t it?”

Casey “Sure it does, but why you?”

Tyler “Why not? You said it. I am the star player here, maybe some will listen, and that is a start.”

Darren “So what is it you expect us to do? Fuck if I want to be friends with some butt plugger.”

Tyler “Who said you had to be friends with them? Just that it seems rather stupid to me to rule out a person simply because they are different; and you know, you just can’t tell what you lose if all you base your friendships on is what ‘group’ someone belongs to.”

Nate “Like what am I gonna get by hanging with some fag? Other than no social life.”

Tyler “Well for starters, you might get someone who will cover your back one day when you need it. I don’t know. I know that Zack is helping to keep me on the team because he gets the English and I don’t, and I shouldn’t have to ignore him simply because he’s gay. I shouldn’t have to hide that I need help either; but most of you sure would be pissed at me if I didn’t qualify for the team. So you tell me, what’s the big deal?”

Darren “Yeah, okay, I see that. Still doesn’t mean you have to be friends with him; or shit, fight his battles, does it?”

Tyler “No, it doesn’t. It is just that I happen to like him. I like the way he talks about English and about his science stuff. It makes me want to know more and it is the same feeling I get when I run a play that scores us a touchdown. So why should I deny myself that because you all don’t want me to be friends with him cause he’s different? Why should I not have the right to choose?”

Nate “Who says that? Shit man, you jocks are top dogs. You get to do what you want. It’s us regular guys that pay the price; like anyone here is gonna harass you for being friends with him?”

Darren “Yeah, give us a break Tyler, ain’t nothing gonna happen to you jocks. Now if it was one of us, hey, that’d be different and you know it.”

Tyler “That’s what you think. Shit, I can’t go out and date who I want, has to be a cheer leader type; and while I really dig Sheryl, if she wasn’t a cheer leader you’d all be clucking making noises and whispering. So don’t think its all gravy being a jock; but forget all that, aren’t you tired of having to make choices or decisions about your friends, girls that you date, parties that you can or can’t go to, all because of what ‘group’ you are classed in? Don’t you think it’s time that we judged all that on our own scales, instead of some phony one? Don’t you think its time to go out with someone because they make you feel good not because they enhance your status?”

Casey “You are sure asking a lot of us aren’t you? Shit, we are just kids; but you want us to change a whole lifetime of rules, for what?”

Tyler “How about just so you can respect the person you stare at in the mirror every morning? Isn’t that worth the effort?”

Casey “I don’t know, guess I’ll find out tomorrow or the next day, won’t I?”

Tyler “Maybe, and maybe it’ll take longer; but don’t we owe it to ourselves to try? I kind of like to be happy, and having to ‘go along’ cause its ‘expected’ just doesn’t cut it for me, does it for you?”

Justin “No, maybe it doesn’t cut it; but shit man, Casey is right, we are kids, how are we supposed to change all this shit?”

Tyler “By doing what we know is right and ignoring those who tell us different. Look Justin, I don’t have all the answers, but I sure as hell would like to choose who are my friends from everyone, not just from those who are allowed to be in a special group. Shit man, Brian is a jock and he sure as fuck isn’t my idea of friend material; yet for most of this year it was my job, my duty, my responsibility as a member of the ‘team,’ of the ‘group,’ to defend him, and for what? For being a jerk off? For being a bully? That just doesn’t sit right, and enough is enough.”

Coach “Having a socials session are we McHenry?”

The sound of the Coach’s voice startled most of the kids, who quickly glanced from Tyler and then back to the Coach. He was the ‘man’ and now they sensed that another round was about to happen and yet many of them felt cheated, wishing that the coach had stayed out of this. Some actually thought it was interesting and while they didn’t quite understand what Tyler was talking about, some of it did make sense.

Tyler “Huh? Coach, uh, no, just uh…”

Coach “Okay everyone, break it up, time for you all to get home, go on.

McHenry, my office… now.”

The voice of authority wasn’t challenged and most everyone that had been listening started to move off, including the two who had spoken up. Tyler wondered, as he stared at the backs of so many of his fellow students if anything he had said would penetrate their minds or would it just all be the same tomorrow or the next day when the memory of the fight and his words were dulled by time?

He wasn’t sure nor was he even sure he had done the right thing, but he just couldn’t have let it all go, he just couldn’t let them think that it was okay simply because the victim was a fag, and he saw the way Zack stared at him, but he also saw how some of the others looked too. Some of their faces had disgust in their eyes but some had a strange look, almost as if they were lost in some deep thought, so maybe, just maybe some would listen, but would it be enough?

Casey stood with Zack and Justin by Tyler, and yet the space between them seemed to be growing, almost as if the two gay boys were uncertain how to act now that the heat of the moment had passed, now that the words and comments were passed, and yet he and Justin seemed to feel the same. He shrugged as he heard the coach yelling his name once more and he trotted off towards the school building, Justin telling him he’d wait for him.

It was really strange, only this morning the three of them had been running together and now it felt like they weren’t sure of each other. Zack looked like shit, his one eye was puffing up from where Brian had punched him and he had a long gash on one side of his face from taking the brunt of Brian’s boot. His lip was split and the dried blood only made him look even more pathetic.

He didn’t know how to feel, as he slowly stood up and watched both Justin and Tyler stare at him. He didn’t even know what to make of Casey but at least his coming to his aid made sense. Tyler standing up for him sure didn’t make much sense, or Justin; and yet there was something rather comforting too in that. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to make sense, maybe help came from unexpected places because it was supposed to, and still he wondered why Justin had stood by him.

When he had first seen Justin come running up he was certain he would side with Brian or at least get Tyler to back off but he hadn’t. He just stood there, and when it came to it, he moved to stand with Tyler which still puzzled him because he didn’t say a word about the book, nothing; and if there ever was a time to use it, this would have been it, but he didn’t, he just stood there with Tyler and Casey.

Casey “Uh, think we should get you home, you live close by?”

Zack “Uh yeah, but uh, I think I’ll wait a bit, uh…”

Justin “It’s okay Zack, I’ll wait for Tyler.”

Casey “Yeah you look like shit man, you should get cleaned up.”

Zack “I know; but, uh, I am staying, if you don’t mind Justin.”

Justin “Okay, but why?”

Zack “Cause, I don’t know, I kind of need to talk to Tyler, you know?”

Justin “Yeah, I guess.”

Casey “Well shit, guess I’ll hang around too, think the Coach is pissed at him Justin?”

Justin “Kind of sounded like he was, I don’t know him that well.”

Zack “Is Tyler going to get into trouble because of me?”

Casey “You didn’t do anything Zack, and I don’t know, the Coach won’t like it that Tyler kicked Brian’s butt, but the bastard deserved it, I wouldn’t sweat it.”

Justin “Yeah, besides what can he do? Tyler is the man, this team doesn’t stand a chance without him.”

Casey “Man is that for sure, especially now with Brian off the team.”

Justin stared at Casey as he heard the words about Brian and before he could ask him for details about it, he heard his name being called and he turned away from both Casey and Zack to see the pock marked face of Paul leaning out of his shiny SUV. Christ what was he doing here? Paul was waving him over and Justin turned to Casey and Zack, telling them he’d be right back and as he started to head over to where Paul was, he saw the expression on Zack’s face and he felt a strange chill in his body.

He couldn’t explain it, but there was absolute terror in Zack’s face and he didn’t understand it. Casey was still there and so it couldn’t be that he was afraid of being left alone, and considering how Zack had stood up to Brian, well it just didn’t make any sense for him to be so terrified looking because he was heading off to talk to Paul. He smiled, telling them both once again that he’d be right back and he headed off to see what Paul had wanted.

As he jogged over to the new SUV he could feel Zack’s eyes on his back and he really felt uneasy, wondering what was bugging him now but he tossed it aside, remembering his own problems plus his worry over Tyler and what the coach might be saying to him this very second. He was almost at the truck before he spotted the other figure inside and he recognized the kid from around the campus, and there was something about him that made him slow down, so that he walked over to the truck rather than ran over.

Justin “Hey, what are you doing here?”

Paul “Took a break and ran into Robbie here, hey you two know each other?”

Robbie “Hey.”

Justin “Hey, uh, no not really, seen you around.”

Robbie “Yeah, same here.”

Paul “Well Robbie and I are old friends, aren’t we Robbie?”

Robbie “Huh? Oh yeah, guess so.”

Justin “Uh well, uh, so what’s up?”

Paul “Nothing, just going to head back to my place, grab some pizza and watch a few video’s, thought maybe you’d like to come along, better than going home.”

The mere mention of home brought it all flooding back to him and his face grew ashen as he recalled lunch time and his run in with his mom and the latest, who now was about to become his step father. Christ, it was bad enough to have to be out here, now she was going to have some stranger move in; but then he more or less had, or so it seemed when he came home to clean up at lunch today.

Paul could see the way he had struck a nerve with Justin and he could feel the excitement rising inside of him as he stared at the young boy, feeling the rising lump in his pants and it wasn’t just from having Robbie in the truck either, though he was certainly going to enjoy that pleasure again, but it was that he knew he was close to getting Justin and that was a treat he would savour, he just needed to play it cool until it was time.

Justin “Yeah it does, but I can’t, least not tonight.”

Paul “Oh? Why not?”

Justin “Uh, already made plans with my friends, uh sorry.”

Paul “Well, not as sorry as I am, but heck, if you already made plans, you already made plans, uh, sure you don’t want to try and change them?”

Justin “Yeah, sorry Paul, really, another time maybe.”

Paul “Uh, well sure, guess I’ll just have to book an appointment, haha. Okay man, unless, well, if you change your mind, give me a call on my cell, I can always come and get you later if you want.”

Justin “Yeah? Well maybe after, I mean if that’s okay, just not sure how long I’ll be over at my friends place.”

Paul “Hey no problem, any time Justin, after all, we are friends, right?”

Justin “Yeah, thanks. Uh, maybe I’ll call you later then.”

Paul “Great, well, sure hope you do, we got some really hot video’s, right Robbie?”

Robbie “Uh, yeah.”

Justin “I’ll see, okay, no promises though.”

Paul “Either way man, catch you later.”

Paul turned the truck over and with a slight jerking sound he left the parking lot and headed out past where Zack and Casey were still standing, watching. Zack stared as the truck left and he turned to look for Justin, who just stood there and somehow he just knew that something wrong was happening, that Justin was in trouble but he couldn’t explain it or put it into words, but the pain he felt inside wasn’t from anything Brian had done, but what Justin might do.

Coach Post stared at his quarterback as they entered his office in the main building. It was crowded with gear and was your typical athletic coach’s office except the huge wooden desk that almost filled the entire breadth of the room. Tyler always wondered how they had got it into the tiny office and maybe one day he’d ask, but judging by the coach’s demeanour he didn’t think this would be the right time. He really didn’t expect the coach to have summoned him like this, but then again he didn’t think the coach had expected his star player to get into a brawl with another player either.

Coach “What was that all about McHenry?”

Tyler “Personal Coach, Brian was, well he was picking on Zack and…”

Coach “Zack? That’s the kid Twiller has tutoring you, isn’t it?”

Tyler “Yes Sir.”

The Coach stared at his player for a bit and he could still hear some of the words that Tyler had been saying. He had to admit some of it made sense, even to him, but he had a team to run, and you couldn’t run a team if your players were distracted by other concerns. Besides, if that other kid was gay, well what did he expect letting people know about it, and he sighed inside, wishing that life would just be a little simpler. All this politically correct stuff was enough to confuse him, never mind what it must be doing to 15 and 16 year old kids like Tyler.

Coach “He’s some sort of gay kid or something? That what the fight was about?”

Tyler “I suppose partly, I think Brian just likes to pick on kids like Zack, Zack being gay only added fuel I guess.”

Coach “Uh huh, well if the kid wants to be like that he should expect that others won’t like it, but it’s not your job as team captain and my star player to involve yourself in that kind of stuff, do you understand me McHenry?”

Tyler “No sir, I don’t, I would think that that is exactly what kind of stuff I should be involved in if I am the team captain.”

Coach “Oh? You do huh, well listen up McHenry, I am telling you it isn’t, not if you want to remain as team captain.”

Tyler “I see, well if that’s how you want it Coach.”

Coach “It is.”

Tyler stared at the floor for a second then he lifted his head up and looked squarely into the Coach’s face. His eyes sparkled as he remembered the feeling he had when he had heard that Brian was on the warpath looking for him, and how he felt when he came upon the scene at the parking lot. The disgust inside him was still there and for a brief instant he felt that same feeling towards the Coach but then he realized, age had nothing to do with being scared, with being unable or unwilling to do what was right and it became clearer to him as he looked into the Coach’s blank facial expression.

Tyler “Then I guess you will need to get a new team captain, cause I resign.”

The words were said softly and for a second or two Coach Post wasn’t sure he had heard right but when he looked deeply into Tyler’s face he knew he hadn’t been mistaken, the kid really was serious and it startled him. He wasn’t used to some 16 year old standing up to him like this, or for that matter, throwing away what was a definite honour, a definite status symbol for anyone in high school. It didn’t make any sense and he felt a strange premonition of trouble rising up inside that he struggled to contain as he saw his entire season going down the drain.

Coach “Are you crazy? What are your parents going to say? I thought you were a team player McHenry, this attitude isn’t what I expected.”

Tyler “I am a team player Coach, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this team win, but I am also a player on another team, one that’s bigger than just the guys on the squad. I have a duty to them too, I can’t just keep quiet about stuff that, well, that is important to me, like sticking up for someone like Zack, it isn’t right.”

Coach “No, well he should have thought that before becoming a fudge packer, and I am surprised at your attitude, you aren’t one of them are you?”

Tyler “What? No, I am not, but what difference should that make?”

Coach “Then why are you willing to risk your football career for one? It doesn’t make any sense boy. Now maybe you are just letting the heat of the moment get to you, maybe we should have this discussion tomorrow.”

Tyler “Tomorrow or the next day won’t make any difference Coach. I won’t change how I feel and I sure as hell am not going to turn my back on my friends simply because it isn’t ‘accepted’ or because one of them is different, and if it means I am no longer team captain, well I guess that’s something I’ll have to just accept.”

Coach “I see. Well, I doubt if your father will see it that way, but as long as you play on my team, you will do what I say, now is that clear Mr. McHenry?”

Tyler “Coach, I am sorry, but I won’t change my mind.”

Coach “Look McHenry, you are just 16, you don’t know what kind of grief you are letting yourself in for, and hear me out. Look, I don’t make the rules, whether I agree or not many are going to see your support of this Zack kid as you being the same way; now if you are, well there isn’t anything I can do about that, if you aren’t, then why take the grief?”

Tyler “I guess because someone has to.”

Coach “Maybe, but why you?”

Tyler “Comes with being the leader you keep saying I am, part of the description I guess.”

Coach “A lot of your friends will not see it that way, they’ll think its because you are queer too, right or wrong that is how they’ll look at it.”

Tyler “It shouldn’t be about whether I am or not Coach, for the record I am not gay; but this isn’t about that, it is about doing what is right, and it shouldn’t matter if I am 16 or 61, a person should still do what is right, not what is easiest, and isn’t that what you tell us in practise, that just because a team might be less talented, less focused, is not an excuse for us to slack off?”

Coach “That is different, and this isn’t just about what is right for you, what about your team mates? Don’t they deserve some consideration?”

Tyler “I don’t see how me doing the right thing changes anything with the rest of the team, sorry Coach.”

Coach “You don’t see how, huh? Well let me tell you how McHenry.

“For starters, maybe some of your team mates won’t care if you are or aren’t gay, they will still look to you for the leadership, but others will wonder. It may influence how they respond to you in the huddle or play for you, and that effects everyone, not just them but all of the team; and then let’s talk about focus, you brought it up, so let’s discuss that aspect.

“Even assuming everyone on the team ignores what you said or did this afternoon, you can count on many of your fellow classmates not ignoring it. They will talk about it, some may even take matters into their own hands and boycott the games; or worse, vent their anger against you and your team mates, and if you are always walking down the hallways listening to whispers, wondering if someone is going to assail you, or maybe they’ll just send you messages, like writing on your locker, where is your focus going to be come game time?

“Answer me that.”

Tyler “Same as where its always been Coach, on the game, on my job as quarterback and on my duty as a player; and so what if someone writes crap on my locker, or whispers. Hell, don’t you think they already whisper? Maybe not about whether or not I am gay, but being a jock has always had its share of whisperers, not to mention angry people who resent our position in school; so really, if it hasn’t effected me so far, it sure as hell won’t in the future.”

Coach “I see, and if I bench you? What then?”

Tyler “Well, no offence Coach, but you won’t win many games that way, and we both know that, hard enough without Brian on the team; but if you bench me, I’ll sit on it and do whatever is asked of me in that capacity. I won’t like it, doubt if many in school will either, but…”

Coach “Bit cocky aren’t you?”

Tyler “No Sir, but I know these guys, I have played with or against most of them all my life, and I know how they’ll respond. Sure, some won’t like what I said, but I know that I can count on them when it comes to game time, and as for the rest, I think my real friends will stand by me; if not, then I guess they really weren’t true friends and I am better off finding out now, don’t you think?”

Coach “You really expect me to just sit back and let you ruin your career?”

Tyler “My career isn’t football coach. I doubt if I’ll get more mileage out of it than maybe a chance at a better college than we could afford otherwise; but you and I both know I am not pro material, least not star material, so football isn’t my career, and even if it was, it sure as hell isn’t who I am, least I don’t want it to be.”

Coach “I see. Well, I have an obligation to everyone on this team McHenry, not just you, as good as you are, and I don’t like being put into this position.”

Tyler “What position is that Coach?”

Coach “Having to defend fags, that’s what, I don’t like it one bit McHenry.”

Tyler “No one is asking you to Coach. I am not defending gays either, I am just doing what is right, isn’t that what this is all about? Doing what is right, not what is expedient, what is popular, but what is right?”

Coach “The world doesn’t work that way McHenry”

Tyler “Then it should change, because its how it should work.”

Coach “So now you going to change the whole world are you?”

Tyler “Just my corner of it for starters Coach.”

Coach “I want you to ask Mr. Twiller to get you a new tutor.”

Tyler “No sir, I won’t.”

Coach “It isn’t open for debate McHenry.”

Tyler “Guess we have a problem then Coach, because I am not changing tutors, even if you get Mr. Twiller to assign someone else, I will still get Zack to help me.”

Coach “You are defying me?”

Tyler “No Sir, I am simply stating a fact.”

Coach “I see. Well, so you want to make this a test do you?”

Tyler “No Sir I don’t, but at the same time, I don’t think its fair to force me to turn my back on what I believe in, and I think my parents will support me on this too, 100%.”

Coach “I see. Well you certainly have made this an interesting start for the week, haven’t you McHenry?”

Tyler “Coach, I really don’t mean to be disrespectful, and I sure as hell don’t want to be difficult, but I just have to follow my heart. I know it doesn’t make sense; but Coach, you wouldn’t want me to put out any less than a 100% effort on the field, so why would you expect me to do any less in real life?”

Damn the kid, how do you answer someone who made such sense? He didn’t know what he would do, there were ample grounds for him to bench the kid but he was right, without Tyler McHenry at the starting position he doubted if he could win a single game next season and whether he wanted to admit it or not, it was how his own career would be judged, how his own job security would be determined; and while it should be on what he taught the kids, it wasn’t. It was how many games did he win, how many championships did he bring that counted towards job security and to be frank, he liked the pay and the prestige it brought him; but Christ it wasn’t without a cost.

Maybe the kid was right, maybe you took a stand or you didn’t, bottom line was that you did have to live with yourself and if the kid was this determined, this focused, well maybe that same intensity would be seen on the field. He stared at Tyler for a few seconds and the kid didn’t even flinch. It wasn’t that he was being defiant either, it was more like he was totally at peace with what he had decided and it was something to see really, something he wished he could feel. Could this kid, this 16 year old really be right?

Coach “Get going McHenry, we’ll discuss this later.”

Tyler “Yes Sir.”

5:01 p.m. P.S.T.

Neil Henry tapped his pen against his teeth as he waited for Sarah Glouchester to pick up the phone. It had been a frustrating day for him and was getting worse as time went on. He just knew that this case was starting to unravel and not from incompetence either but because the man he was after was elusive, more elusive than he had first given him credit for, and that upset him. Neil knew he and Sarah would have to readjust their thinking because Paul wasn’t going to be an easy one to trap; and more importantly, he just knew that they didn’t have the luxury of time.

Sarah “Neil, what is it? I didn’t expect to hear from you till later.”

Neil “We have a problem Sarah.”

Sarah “Christ, what?”

Neil “This Paul creep, he’s a lot smarter than I thought.”

Sarah “What do you mean?”

Neil “He’s leased his truck through some leasing outfit, the truck isn’t in his name so I need to try and get the information we need another way. Plus he’s not at work today, so I can’t tail him that way either. Uh, so, either we wait till we can follow him, or…”

Sarah “Or what?”

Neil “Well I have a friend at the police, he might be able to get the information from the leasing company; but, well its risky Sarah. It might warn this guy off, and if he’s as smart as I think, well we might not get another chance at him.”

Sarah “Shit. Sorry, forgive my language. Okay, let me think. Just how would he tumble to us if you get your friend to get the information?”

Neil “Well the leasing outfit won’t give me the information, I tried that already but they would have to give it to the police. I thought my friend could go ask them for it on some bogus traffic accident investigation; but that could make the leasing company nervous and contact this Paul, which means that if no cop shows up on a follow up, he might rabbit or at least tweak to the fact that someone is interested in him. He might even if we do follow it up, and if he is what we think he is, well, he might just pull up stakes.”

Sarah “And that’s bad how? Wouldn’t we better off if he was out of here?”

Neil “Sure, for Justin’s sake maybe, but what about the next Justin who doesn’t have a father pushing or a lawyer who owes a baseball owner a favour? I don’t know but I want to nail this creep, but maybe more than that Sarah, I want to sleep at night.”

Sarah leaned back in her own chair, and she could see Neil’s face before her even though he was on the phone. She could see the worry lines across his forehead and she knew she too was feeling the pressure that this case was bringing to her. It was unreal really. She had yet to even meet her client or any of the principles for that matter and yet it was like she knew them all intimately. She knew the father was already on his way, and that would bring up another problem for her and Neil. Just how much did they divulge to him upon his arrival?

How do you tell a father who is desperate to set the record straight that his son may be involved with a pedophile all because of his home life? How do you explain to him that there really isn’t much you can do yet; and even maybe nothing at all, unless you can catch the guy in the act, or worse, until he actually does something to the boy?

Now she was also faced with spooking the guy and if he ran, well Neil was right, all they were doing was maybe solving their problem; but there was a bigger issue involved, that of other kids and how could she sleep at night knowing she had let a predator like this Paul creep loose? She shook her head as there just weren’t any easy answers but she had to at least try. The question was, could they afford to try and get the information by finding him and tailing him home, or should they go the route of getting it through quicker means, at the risk of losing the chance at nailing the bastard?

Sarah “We can’t risk losing this guy Neil. I want to sleep at night too but we have an obligation to the kid too. Uh, Neil, put a tail on the kid.”

Neil “Justin? But, I mean why?”

Sarah “It is the only way we can be sure of keeping him safe until we can get the information we need on this Paul. Leave your police friend out of it for now. Add as many men as you need for now, but keep that kid safe. Watch him and if we are lucky, well, it shouldn’t take a day or two to get what we need on this Paul, right?”

Neil “Yeah, I can do that. He has to show up for work tomorrow, so we can tail him then and get what we need. Uh, you want me to keep tabs on the kid after we get the guys address?”

Sarah “I think for a few days we should; and Neil, make it 24/7 for now, both of them.”

Neil “Okay Sarah, I’ll get a guy on Justin now, once we find him that is.”

Sarah “What do you mean, once you find him?”

Neil “Well not like we know where he is at this second. I would assume at home, but he could be at friends too, or…”

Sarah “I don’t like that ‘or’ Neil. Do what you have to, but find that kid and keep him in your sight. Christ, this is getting, Neil find him, okay? Let me know when you do.”

Neil “Yeah. Shit, I should have thought of this before. We could have picked his trail up after school. Okay, I’ll check around, he doesn’t have many friends yet, so it should be, well, I won’t say it’ll be a snap, not the way this case has gone. I’ll be in touch.”

Sarah “Thanks Neil. Yeah we kind of dropped the ball on that this morning didn’t we, both of us. Guess we were too busy concentrating on this creep. I don’t get it, I mean, do you really think that Justin would fall for his line?”

Neil “He might Sarah, he’s a hurt kid; and worse, he most likely thinks everyone he cared about has abandoned him, and so, yeah, he is a prime target for guys like this Paul, unfortunately.”

Sarah “Do your best Neil, find him.”

Neil “I will. Call you on your cell?”

Sarah “Yes, no matter the hour Neil; and don’t forget, you have to meet the father at the airport at 11.”

Neil “Yeah, uh, any thoughts as to what I can or shouldn’t tell him?”

Sarah “No. For now let’s just, shit I don’t know, guess you’ll have to play that by ear for now, but I’d keep it low key, we don’t need him storming off after this Paul or confronting the kid or worse, the wife, so keep him under wraps Neil, even if you have to restrain him, okay?”

Neil “Yeah, okay, I’ll be in touch.”

Sarah heard the sharp click and the emptiness in her ear as Neil disconnected the phone and for a few minutes she just sat there, numbed by all that was happening and frightened too. Here she was, an officer of the court, least that’s how they referred to lawyers, and she was as powerless as Lady Justice herself was and that made her even more frightened. She was a practising attorney in one of the most litigious states in the union, a state that prided itself on fair laws, fair treatment, but she knew differently, she knew that Justice was blind, not to who stood before it, but to their means.

Money, race, colour, religion, all that wasn’t supposed to matter to Justice, but it did. You didn’t get the best when you were on welfare. You didn’t get the brightest when you were aged and on social security as that was reserved for the privileged, the ones who could afford the hourly fees of hundreds; and sure, they all paid lip service to the concept that every person was entitled to receive the best representation possible, but it still came down to dollars and cents, not on what was right, what was or who was innocent.

She looked around at her office and she stared at all that it held for her and for the first time since she had become a lawyer, she felt disgust at herself. She looked at the painting hanging over the Italian designed couch on the far wall and remembered how she had earned the money for it, how she had taken some guy to the cleaners, simply because his wife had enough of him, because she wanted someone who wouldn’t spend so much time working and would spend more time entertaining.

Her hand reached out and touched the small crystal desk set and she recalled how she had made another twist and turn all because he didn’t want his wife to have a dog, and that constituted unusual and cruel treatment. It didn’t matter that the guy simply didn’t want a dog because he was allergic to dog hairs. Christ, a marriage of ten years went down the drain over that and she wondered why she had even accepted such a case; but she knew why, because the guy owned a whole string of jewellery stores and was loaded to the gills, that was why, and it made her sick as she fondled the blue folder on her desk.

She let the folder open and there staring up at her was the smiling face of a 12 or 13 year old boy. She saw his smile, the way his eyes seemed to be so alive, so vibrant and so full of life and a tear formed at the corner of one eye as she turned the picture over and looked down at another photograph, one taken only a week ago. She could still see the same face, the same tussle of hair on one side, but the eyes no longer sparkled with life, instead they looked blank, empty of all hope, and her heart quickened a little as she silently mouthed a prayer to God to give her and Neil the courage to do what was right by the boy, not what was expedient, but what was right.

The knock on her office door startled her and she quickly wiped the small tears at her eyes away, her face set in its frozen state but the turmoil inside continued to rage unabated and she knew that tonight she wouldn’t sleep very well, not that she had lately anyways; and she knew in her heart that she wouldn’t get any real sleep until this case was resolved, one way or another. The knock came again and she finally composed herself outwardly, and bid the person to enter.

6:20 p.m. P.S.T.

Tim Withers stood in front of his mirror and he felt like the image before him was some stranger. Sure it had the same characteristics as him but it looked so much older, so much sadder and he knew it wasn’t an illusion, that it was really he, and he sighed as he quickly covered his face with shaving cream. He didn’t want to go tonight. In fact he really was a bit ticked off with Emily McHenry for her insistence at him coming over but he also knew that Emily wouldn’t insist if it wasn’t important, so he had given in and instead of working out his anger, his frustrations, he was getting cleaned up to go and find out just what was so urgent that he come tonight instead of later in the week.

He was only 42 years old, same age as his high school and lifetime friend Jason McHenry, but he looked like he was 90, at least tonight it was how he felt; but then it had been an unusually tough day for him. He had lost two decisions today and it wasn’t something he had really seen coming. One had been a child custody case, where the girl had wanted to live with the mother, but the father had means; the mother had been in trouble with the law but that shouldn’t have weighed in as heavily as it apparently did.

The Judge had gone overboard, ordering the mother to alcohol programs and had set supervised visitation for her, but at only one per month and had set a review for 2 years, not the usual 6 or so months. It was unreasonable and unfair, as the mother had been sober for the last 8 months but to the Judge it just didn’t matter and so, once more, the child had suffered.

The other case was worse. It was one he had been certain of winning. After all, the mother had been convicted, and while her sentence had been 5 years probation, none- the-less she was a convicted felon, and the charge wasn’t for robbery or anything that simple, but for sexual abuse. Still the Judge saw fit to award her custody of her own boy, despite circumstantial evidence that the boy himself had been a possible victim of the mother’s sexual abuse.

He still couldn’t believe it, and he looked at the mirror again as the rage grew inside of him once more and he still was puzzled at how, firstly, a judge could rule that the best interests of the boy would be to with his mother; secondly, how the hell he wasn’t sitting in a jail cell facing contempt charges. Tim had gone ballistic as the 10-year-old boy had simply sat in the chair next to him, silent and devoid of any expression, and Tim knew in his heart right then that this boy would most likely not survive the system. Even DCS had been stunned, and the social worker had also cried out in disbelieve at the Judge’s ruling but despite all that, the boy was at this moment with his mother, the father most likely off in some bar getting drunk, which is what he wished he could do. Instead, he was heading off to socialize, or more likely to face another problem.

Tim couldn’t imagine what had gotten into Emily McHenry and he knew that Tyler certainly wasn’t one of those problem children. Hell, the kid was the talk of the community and they had high hopes for this year’s football team. Plus the new coach had done wonders with them last season, and he was back for another crack so he was a bit perplexed at why Emily had been so insistent and so damn mysterious too. Christ he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t another of her attempts at fixing him up with a date, which she usually tried at least once every few months, long enough from the last attempt to make him forget the effort, or so she thought.

He sighed again as he rinsed his face and stared at the haggard image that confronted his eyes in the mirror. It was strange that Emily continued to try to fix him up. After all her husband Jason had to have told her; but then, obviously, he hadn’t, which in itself was refreshing and also disconcerting. Okay, so Jason knew and didn’t blab it around, not even to his wife it seemed, which was nice to know you could trust in him; but was it for protecting Tim’s privacy, or was there more to it? Could it be shame, or maybe fear that he might come under suspicion himself if he told anyone about his high school and still closest friend?

As he left his house and headed towards his car, he felt the same anger, the same frustration as he always did these days. He knew he needed a break from work, but he just couldn’t do it. There were so many kids out there, so many who needed the help he tried to provide them with, and yet he also knew that it was an upward struggle. Courts were listening, or so he had thought, but then when he got rulings like he did today, he wondered if adults were really suited for even having a say in making the rules. Always the rules, the same crap all the time. It is in the best interests that the mother has custody, that the mother raises the child; or in many instances, that the natural parents have control even when all evidence showed the exact opposite. How could people be so blind, so wedded to an outdated idea that a natural blood parent was better simply because they were related by blood?

He was on his soapbox again and he knew that the evening was going to be difficult for everyone. Tim just wasn’t in a sociable mood but there was this nagging feeling at the back of his mind, something that was telling him that Emily wasn’t asking him over to be sociable, that something was wrong; so he started up his car and headed over to the McHenry home, not knowing why, but as he grew closer the feeling of trouble only grew stronger.

Detective Carl Reese pulled his sedan up behind the older model Toyota that he recognized as belonging to Neil Henry. He checked the mirrors and looked over the area before getting out and walking casually over to the car where he climbed into the passenger side. He turned to look at his friend and he could see the worry on the man’s face and he knew it had to be serious for Neil to have called and ask for his help.

Neil “Thanks for coming so quickly Carl.”

Carl “No problem Neil. You said it was important, what’s up?”

Neil “I need to keep a really close eye on someone, and I can’t get anyone to take over for me until midnight.”

Carl “Oh? What are you working on? Thought you worked divorce cases.”

Neil “I do but this has gotten, look, this has to be off the record Carl, I can’t get the police involved, least not yet.”

Carl “Not yet? Just what are we talking about here Neil?”

Neil “First I need you to promise me that you won’t report any of this, least not yet.”

Carl “I can’t do that Neil. Shit, you know me, and hell if the police need to be involved, well… Look, tell me what this is about will you? I have never known you to work the other side of the fence, so what gives?”

Neil “There is a kid involved. He might become a target for a really bad type, and I need to keep him under wraps till, well, till we can figure out how to either nail the creep or at least get him safe. I wouldn’t ask if it was some adult, but it’s a kid Carl, and well, it’s a ball breaker.”

Carl Reese was a veteran of the police department for the last eighteen years and he had seen some pretty hairy stuff. For the last five years he was working homicide and the worst was when he was called out on a case involving kids. He hated what man did to themselves, but when it involved kids, well, it turned his stomach and lately there had been some bad cases cropping up. Too many kids were going missing with some winding up months later in ditches or shallow graves.

The department was certain that some pedophile was at work in the area but they didn’t have much to go on, the missing kids that were found later on alive weren’t much help, most of them were too strung out on drugs; or worse, they simply didn’t care. Those that did, well so far they hadn’t come across any alive and that was tearing at everyone in his department, including him. Staring at his friend, he knew that Neil was a straight player; he may bend the rules but then so did he on occasion but nothing that warranted any type of action. Rules weren’t always a help and sometimes you just had to ignore them or at least push them away for a minute or two if you wanted to get things done without lives being at risk.

Carl “Okay Neil, I won’t make any promises. So tell me only what you can, and leave it at that for now, but… when its time, you tell me immediately, not one second later, deal?”

Neil breathed a sigh of relief at Carl’s words and he realized then just how pent up he was, how on edge he was feeling and that made him afraid. He wasn’t going to be any good if he was too wound up, he knew he needed to be thinking and he had already almost blown it by not realizing they should have the kid under wraps but thank God they had found him. Well, not really, it was Sarah who had come up with the information and he thanked his lucky stars for Emily McHenry too.

He had known Carl Reese since his days at the academy, and the two of them had gone through a lot in their history together. Hell, he had spent many hours in bars with Carl when Carl got divorced, and so they knew each other pretty well. There wasn’t much they hadn’t shared or talked about and he knew that Carl’s biggest regret had been that he never had children; even during the divorce he had still wished he and his wife had kids but for whatever reason they never did. Neil wished they had, he thought Carl would have made a good father; but his wife, well in her case maybe it was best that they didn’t.

Neil “Deal, and thanks Carl.”

Carl “So, who is the kid?”

Neil “Name is Justin, Justin Patterson. He’s 16, 6ft and about 145 to 150 lbs, blonde and he’s a football player, for the high school. Just moved here with his mother, Heather Patterson, from Florida, seems she didn’t like the idea that the father was gay, and so she’s really been on a holy terror ever since. She has a restraining order against the father Carl, and well…”

Carl “Whoa, the father is queer? You helping the father?”

Neil “Yeah. Look Carl, the guy got a raw deal, from all accounts he’s been a decent father. The mother on the other hand isn’t your Martha Stewart type and well… it just isn’t right Carl. The kid seems like a good kid, but he has no idea what’s gone on, least we don’t think he does.”

Carl “Shit, this sounds real messy. You say the mother has a court order against the father? So uh, why you watching the kid? Christ, you think the father is going to snatch him or something?”

Neil “NO, no, sorry Carl. Look, it’s complicated. We, uh, the lawyer handling it over here, and I might add the lawyer handling it down in Florida, both of them are good people Carl. They both think the father got the short end, and well, they want to do right but then the kid may have gotten himself hooked up with a real bad type. We aren’t sure how far they have gone either, if any where, so…”

Carl “Huh? The kid is mixed up with some bad types? What kind Neil, drugs, what?”

Neil “No, don’t think so, least not that I know; but there is this guy, name of Paul, works at that new arcade over at the mall, he scares me Carl and he is hanging around Justin. It’s a classic case Carl: a kid is rejected by his father, or so he thinks. I mean from all accounts they were close, then the mother and father split and the kid moves across the country and has no contact with his father. Now maybe she told him about his father but odds are she didn’t; so here you have it, a kid suddenly loses his father, shipped to a strange place, and is wondering what went wrong. Knowing most kids, they blame themselves; and enter our friend Paul, you know how they work Carl.”

Carl “Fuck, too well; so that’s the situation?”

Neil “Short version, but yeah.”

Carl “You got a tail on this creep?”

Neil “Not yet.”

Carl “Why not? Make more sense to tail him, least you’d stand a better chance of getting the goods on the bastard.”

Neil “We know, but we need to find him first, least find where he lives and all. He’s not stupid Carl, leases his truck through one of those lease outfits, so can’t track him that way.”

Carl “Hmm, you could maybe pull the old investigating an accident routine with the lease outfit, that would work.”

Neil “Thought of that, but it also might spook the guy, especially if there is no follow up, or even if there is one. You know how these guys work Carl, they are hinky, first sign of cops they pull up stakes.”

Carl “Yeah, but it would at least solve your immediate problem with the kid, Justin is it?”

Neil “Yeah, it would; might have to come down to that, too. But Carl, I have a really bad feeling about this guy. I don’t know why, but I don’t want him to get away, not if I can help it.”

Carl “How bad?”

Neil “Real bad, and I am not alone on this. The lawyer here feels the same. Hell the father, he hasn’t a pot to pee in really, the cost is being covered by the lawyer.”

Carl “Who?”

Neil “Sarah Glouchester.”

Carl “Oh? She’s footing the bill?”

Neil “Uh huh.”

Carl “Okay. Well what do you want from me?”

Neil “Keep him in your sight. Right now he’s in that house over there with some friends from school. Looks like he’s staying for a bit. Here is his picture, it’s recent, and wherever he goes, you go, and keep me informed. I’ll have someone to relieve you around midnight.”

Carl “Okay, who you got?”

Neil “Teddy, you know him.”

Carl “Yeah, he’s good. Okay, give me your cell number. Isn’t that the McHenry home he’s at?”

Neil “Yep.”

Carl “Okay, I know the father. He works at the Mercedes dealership doesn’t he?”

Neil “Yeah, he’s not home yet. The mother just got here and she is pretty upset. Uh, she knows about Justin. Well, sort of. Seems her son is pretty friendly with Justin and, well it’s complicated.”

Carl “I don’t think I want to know anymore. Christ Neil how did you get into this?”

Neil “Damned if I know Carl, but Carl…”

Carl “Yeah?”

Neil “This Paul is real dirty. I can’t prove it yet, but I have never felt this way. Be careful and well, you know what I mean.”

Carl “Okay Neil, good thing I have tomorrow off. Look, if you need me beyond midnight, don’t sweat it, okay?”

Neil “Thanks.”

Detective Carl Reese, homicide, watched his friend pull away from the curb; and as he, did he sighed. He shook his head as he took out a small pocket light and aimed it down below the dash where he studied the 8 x 10 glossy picture of the boy, Justin Patterson. He saw the eyes and he felt a sort of lump in his throat, wishing that he had had kids when he had been married; but then again, considering what his wife was like maybe it was for the best. Still, he wished he had a son to carry on his family name.

The whole case seemed complicated as he moved his car up the street a bit and positioned it so he could actually see both sides of the McHenry home. Carl Reese was a veteran of many stakeouts and he settled back into his car seat, wishing he had at least brought a thermos of coffee or something but Neil hadn’t been all that specific on the phone, just that he needed Carl’s help; and well, Neil was a friend and he couldn’t refuse him.

As he settled down, keeping his eyes on the house he thought back to his married life and to his own secrets. It had always been a dream of his to have children. It was one of the reasons he had gotten married in the first place, but nothing had gone as he had planned. Everything had fallen apart and he recalled all those lonely nights when he had almost climbed into a bottle and been lost. Only the friendship of Neil Henry had managed to keep him sane and he had wished he could have shared it all with him. Hell he still wished he could but too many years had passed, too much had gone under the bridge for that to happen now; and besides, if he was honest, he was scared of losing the only friend he really had.

Life certainly wasn’t what he had first thought it was. Nothing was he guessed as he watched the house, saw the neatly trimmed lawn, the finely manicured bushes and trees. No, nothing was as it appeared and he sighed as he saw the fancy black Mercedes come screeching around the corner and barrel on up to the house he was watching. Mr. McHenry certainly made his appearance noticeable as he screeched to a stop in the driveway and throw the car door open like it was so much paper. The noise of the door slamming shut was barely finished echoing before he saw the golden light of the entrance way as Jason McHenry rushed inside of his home.

Jason McHenry “TYLER! TYLER WHERE ARE YOU?”

The sound of a car screeching in her driveway made Emily perk up a little and the loud voice of her husband made the skin prickle as she was starting to wonder where he had been. He normally got home before her on Mondays; and besides, she was still nervous about insisting on Tim showing up tonight. She glanced at the clock and realized that they would be cutting it awfully close. The loud shouting of her husband startled her as she came running into the hallway.

Emily “Jason, what are you shouting for?”

Jason “Where is he? TYLER!”

Emily was beginning to get frightened as she saw the angry look on her husbands face. She had rarely seen Jason so upset, so angry, and it made her only more nervous, more worried as she struggled to try and calm herself down as well as her husband.

Emily “He’s downstairs with some friends from school, what is going on? Why are you yelling?”

Jason “TYLER! GET UP HERE!  He hasn’t told you? I can’t believe it Emily, it really, TYLER GET UP HERE NOW!”

The look on his face was frightening. His colour had gone and he looked his age. For the first time in her married life she was scared of him, of what he might do, and she clutched at the string of pearls around her neck, a gift from him just after she had broke the news that she was pregnant with Tyler. God, life had been so good for them and now this, whatever it was, and she grew quiet as she heard the footsteps of her son running up the stairs.

He came into the hallway with a surprised look on his own face. She could see how much like his father he looked right then, the same fine features, the same handsome facial features and the same intense look. There was no doubt that he too was surprised by Jason’s loud and angry tainted voice as he came up in answer to the summons.

Tyler “Dad, what’s up?”

Jason “Don’t you ‘what’s up’ me. I just got off the phone with your coach.”

Tyler “Oh, I see.”

Emily “Coach Post called you at work?”

Jason “Yes, and I can’t say I am happy about this. Why didn’t you call me Tyler?”

Tyler “Uh, well, I thought I’d wait till later. It is no big deal anyway.”

Jason “NO BIG DEAL? Listen here young man, it is a very BIG DEAL. God Tyler, how could you? I mean do you realize how serious this is?”

Emily “What are you two talking about? What isn’t a big deal or is? Jason? Tyler?”

Tyler “It really isn’t that big of a deal Mom. Honest Dad, it isn’t”

Jason “He got into a fight at school, with another team player, too; and what’s worse, because of some gay kid. I can’t believe it Tyler, and you stand here telling me it isn’t a big deal? Do you know your son resigned his team captaincy Emily?”

Emily “Well, I am sure Tyler had a good reason, let’s just all calm down Jason. Besides, you don’t want his friends to hear us all fighting up here. Now you go sit down and I’ll fix you a drink. You go sit down too, Tyler, and we’ll discuss this calmly.”

Jason “How can you be so calm? Your son is this close to throwing away his entire career, he may even be benched, and his senior year no less.”

Emily “Well shouting at him isn’t going to help. Now both of you, go sit down.”

Tyler “Dad look, you would have done the same thing; and Coach Post isn’t going to bench me, not if he wants to win, he’s just trying to get me to…”

Jason “He is the coach, and you have your own future to consider. For Christ’s sake Tyler, if you are benched or this gets on your record, how the hell do you expect to get recruited by any decent college? Answer me that one.”

Tyler “If a college doesn’t want me because I did the right thing how could you even want me to consider going there? Or was all that talk about being a man, about doing what is right just so much bullshit?”

Emily “TYLER, Don’t you talk to your father that way. Now both of you knock it off, we don’t want Tyler’s quests to hear our family squabbling, do we?”

Both Jason McHenry and his son stared at the smaller woman, as it was highly unusual to hear her with a raised voice. Both of them grew quiet and slowly made their way into the living room. Jason sat down heavily in his armchair and stared at the figure of his son who stood in silence for a moment, defiant almost; but finally he too sat down across from his father while his mother moved in and fixed a drink for her husband.

Both of them looked at each other, then glanced away as the heat of the moment was still fresh in their minds. Jason McHenry still looked angry and Tyler was still smarting from the unexpected attack from someone he was certain would have backed him up. Christ, if you couldn’t trust in your own father to support you, who was left? God, no wonder the world sucked so much, no one stood by their words anymore.

It was his own father who had told him that to be a real man, one had to stand up for what they believed in, no matter the price, no matter the cost because anything less was a coward’s way out. Yet here he was, telling him now that he should cave, should not have stood up for what he believed to be right, all because it might mean he couldn’t get into a primo college. Shit, what else did he teach him that was bullshit?

Tyler just didn’t understand the double standard. His father always had made him believe that a man’s worth wasn’t measured by how many touchdowns he scored, or even how good of a grade he got on some test, but was based on how he did on the score card of life, least that’s how he referred to it. Shit, he could remember the times when his dad had yelled at him for not being friends with some of the neighbour kids because they were ‘geeks’ and now here he was yelling at him for doing just what he had been raised to do, to stand up for what he believed in, in his principles, the true measure of a real man. Well, maybe it was easy to talk about it, easy to convince a 9 year old to play with someone not quite acceptable; but surely it shouldn’t matter if he was 9 or 29, shouldn’t the same principles apply?

Emily McHenry looked at her two men, and she noticed how defiant Tyler still was, the way his shoulders were squared and the way he held his head. Even though he was staring at the floor she could almost imagine the fire burning in his face, as she recognized in him exactly what had first attracted her to her husband; and now they were at logger heads, for something to do with the boy who was tutoring Tyler in English.

Emily “Jason, maybe we should hear Tyler’s side of things before we fly off the handle? After all, we did raise him with certain values, and I am sure he didn’t get into this fight without cause? Did you Tyler?”

Tyler “No Mom. I thought it out, as best as I could. It is just, well, I wasn’t trying to hide anything Dad. I didn’t call you at work because I wanted to talk to you at home, alone, and well, things are complicated. Honest, I didn’t try to hide this.”

Jason McHenry took a long pull on the stiff drink his wife had poured for him and he let the ice cubes dance a bit in his glass as he listened to his son’s voice. There wasn’t any contrition in the voice and deep down inside, he felt a sense of pride in the boy. After all, he did teach him to stand up for what was right; but Jesus, to defend a gay kid, and all that could mean to him, or was his defence of this boy more than just doing the right thing? Could his own boy be one? The Coach had seemed to imply that it was a possibility, especially as Tyler had refused to switch tutors but wouldn’t explain why, and why did he feel he had to rush to the defence of this boy from this Brian kid?

Oh he knew Brian Kozak and his family. There was no doubt that the kid was a bully and, worse, a real trouble maker; but he could play ball, so most people simply ignored the other traits of the boy. His family wasn’t rich by any stretch of the imagination and to them, Brian’s talents on the field were his meal ticket, least that is how his father had put it once at a booster club meeting; but even back then, it was almost as if the man was apologizing for his boy, something Jason never felt the need to do for his own son, until now.

Jason “I suppose I over reacted about that part; but Tyler, this is serious stuff, I just don’t understand how you got so involved in this. I mean, well, the Coach has raised the possibility, and well, damn it son, are you gay?”

Emily “Jason!”

Tyler simply looked at his father, ignoring the almost pleading look that came from his mother. He could feel her eyes glued to his face, watching him for some sign, some signal that he would either go into a rage or something but for some unknown reason, Tyler felt rather calm at the moment. He couldn’t explain it, but somehow he had expected that question, almost framed the actual words in his own mind long before his father had spoken them. Yet still, it was a bit of a surprise to actually hear them come from his father’s lips.

His eyes narrowed a little as he looked long into his father’s face and he slowly let his body relax, the tension of the whole confrontation gradually easing just a bit as he knew inside that this was what was really angering his father, the possibility that his son, his namesake might just possibly be queer. He could feel the tension too, not just coming from his father but also from his mother and for the first time he thought he could understand just a little of what Zack must feel every day, every second of his life when his own parents would ask him about girls and stuff.

Tyler slowly sat upright in the couch, letting his long legs stretch a little  yet remaining rather straight. His back now sank fully into the back of the couch as his eyes never once left his father’s face, not even as he heard his mother’s sigh, or was it maybe a gasp? Before he could begin to form the words of his answer he heard a slight cough and he knew that his answer would have to wait as he turned to see Justin standing in the entranceway to the living room.