Chapter 8
Monday April 30th
7:00 a.m. P.S.T.
Neil Henry sat in the chair, exhausted and worn out from the fitful sleep he had. It wasn’t just that Sarah had called him so late at night and all, he hadn’t been to sleep anyhow, the case weighing too heavy on his heart, but the way she spoke, the urgency that belied the calmness of her voice so late at night. She was scared, and he knew that fear too for he was feeling it long before Sarah had called.
Strange, in all of his years of experience, this was a case that appeared simple, appeared to be normal and yet from the onset he had felt uneasy and now he knew that even the lawyer was uneasy but neither of them could quite put their finger on why. It had all the ear markings of a case that could go very wrong, and their were some pretty tricky legalities involved too, and from what little he had found out about the mother, well he knew that if they were wrong they would be hung out to dry, never mind their good intentions and yet it still was a real possibility, least for him.
Thinking about it wasn’t going to help him much, but it was all he had done since early evening, and after Sarah’s late night call it had only intensified. He knew what he should do but he also knew that if he was wrong, well he would be finished in the business and worse, he could lose everything he had saved and scrimped for but still the thought persisted. If only they had something real, something they could go to the police with or before a judge with, but they didn’t and so it now was a matter of just how much did they trust their own feelings?
Sitting in the expensive waiting room chair, he wondered briefly what was keeping Sarah, but his mind refused to be distracted, or maybe it wasn’t that, it was more that it was preoccupied with Justin and his situation. Also, he just couldn’t get that image of the green SUV that had passed him yesterday and he wondered why it had nagged at him all this time. He sighed, and made a mental note to get in touch with a friend of his at DMV and see if he couldn’t run down just what or where that creep Paul from the arcade lived. He had the license number so it shouldn’t be a problem, and maybe if he staked out the guy’s house he could learn more, maybe enough to take to a judge or at least to the DA, someone anyways.
Sarah ”Neil, sorry to keep you. Come in please.”
It was as if her voice dripped with ice, the coldness was frightening in a sense and he had come across many lawyers in his career who could turn on the coldness but Sarah had never been one of those, least not with him and so it was even more menacing as he slowly raised his portly frame up out of the fancy chair and strolled casually over to the open door.
He quickly moved inside and he could almost feel the tension as he passed Sarah on his way into her corner suite office. It wasn’t any different than any other time but it felt different, as if the room itself was holding its breath, waiting for the decision of what the next move would be. He almost didn’t want to sit, but he knew he would have to, if for no other reason than to help keep himself appearing calm. The feelings inside were running rampant, and he was certain that he was breaking out in a cold sweat as his mind continued to weigh the pros and cons of what needed to be done against what he could legally do. The real question was, did they have any time to play with?
Sarah ”I have been on the phone with Scott Hackett in Florida.”
Neil ”And?”
Sarah ”And… and he agrees with me that maybe, just maybe we have a bit of time before taking, uh, look Neil, before I go any further, you can back out now if you want, seriously, I would not hold it against you.”
The offer caught him off guard and he put his fingers together under his chin and stared over the top of them at the lawyer. She really could be a good looking women if she would let her hair down some, wear some less ‘manly’ type outfits and just, well just loosened up but then it wouldn’t be Sarah and she did have a reputation to maintain. She wasn’t the premier divorce attorney in the state without reason, and while some might argue that Keith Jaworski was as good, no one could say he was better and for his money, he’d much rather have Sarah on his side than against.
He pondered only briefly her offer, he knew he could back out, and while some might he knew deep in his own heart that this was not a case he could walk away from, even if it did cost him his 30 year career and reputation. It saddened him really, that he lived in a society where children were so ruthlessly preyed upon by all sorts of creeps, just like that arcade jerk but while they were sick and despicable, that isn’t what made him sick to his stomach. It was the parents who knowingly played their kids as pawns to get even, to make the other suffer and it was their fault that people like Paul had such an easy time of turning their kids into easy prey.
Sure, they would tend to lectures, join the PTA and even hold or attend the charity functions, but when it came right down to it, they couldn’t care less. They poisoned young minds with their hate, taught them that all was indeed fair in love and war and that the distinction between love and war was measured solely in dollars and cents. It didn’t matter if the kid would be better off with one or the other, all that mattered was who could claim bragging rights and then when the kid went and did something stupid or turned to people like that Paul, the parents were the first ones to shout about a sick society, about how evil the world was and how this manufacturer or that advertising agency or that product or this product was to blame, when really, the fault lay with them.
No, he wouldn’t take the offer, but he did wish that just once, just one time in his lifetime that justice would supersede the law. That maybe this time around there would be real justice for Justin and not be turned into some legal trophy.
Neil ”You know me better than that Sarah.”
Sarah ”Yes, guess I do Neil, but I had to ask, if for no other reason than to hear you say no.”
Neil ”Okay, the answer is ‘no’, so now what?”
Sarah ”Now, now Neil my old friend, we plot on how to get this kid protected without getting our keisters thrown into the proverbial meat grinder called the legal system.”
Neil ”Well that would be nice, but…”
Sarah ”Yeah I know, we’ll cross that bridge if we have to, not before Neil.”
Neil ”Fair enough, so this McHenry, is that the one who works here?”
Sarah ”Yeah, the same, her husband is the big Mercedes dealer and I think you know her son too, this is after all a football town.”
Neil ”Thought so, so is she on the level?”
Sarah ”I think so, she was pretty upset last night when she called, and I have to admit, she’s was pretty good at putting two and two together without getting five like most people would, I think she is right in her assessment too, and if I know Keith Jaworski, he really won’t go out of his way to look out for the kid.”
Neil ”You figure the kid is ear marked for private school?”
Sarah ”If he gets his way, no doubt, just what he needs right now, first his family his torn apart, his dad goes AWOL as far as he’s concerned and then a new step dad and the threat of boarding school? Hell even I’d turn to the first decent sounding jerk, and I am no 16 year old”
Neil ”Maybe not, but you look like a teenager.”
Sarah ”You been drinking this early Neil?”
Neil ”No, wish I had though, this Paul creep, I got his license, going to have a friend at DMV run the plates for me, there is something, I don’t know, it is like I am missing something, uh, I was thinking…”
Sarah ”That is always dangerous, but go ahead, what were you thinking?”
Neil ”I’d like to keep on top of this creep, this Paul character, now if I could get two or three guys, we could keep our eyes on him, least that way, if Justin does go seeking him, well, we’d be covered.”
Sarah ”Three? That all?”
Neil ”Yeah, I could get by with two, just that it makes for long shifts, and well, that could make a difference in the quality.”
Sarah ”You planning on taking a shift?”
Neil ”I thought so, if we had three then it would be 6 hours each.”
Sarah ”I need you tracking down some other leads Neil, put five on it, charge it to my personal account, not the firm.”
Neil ”Huh? Your personal, sure Sarah.”
Sarah ”Look, the guy, the father, he isn’t exactly well heeled, Scott Hackett only took him on because the guy plays ball down there and the team owner is a friend, and he owes the team owner, this firm, well it doesn’t know the team owner and his influence only extends to Florida, catch my meaning?”
Neil ”Yeah, so you picking up the tab? Look, maybe I can do double duty, I can pull a shift and still track down your other leads, we can maybe shave having to watch him 24/7 after we get a handle on his routine, and well…”
Sarah ”I can afford it Neil, okay?”
Neil ”Okay.”
Sarah ”Good, now I need you to be a bit sneaky on your first task, and its with a friend of ours too, I know it sucks but let’s at least try to keep ourselves legal.”
Neil ”A friend huh, okay, what is your plan?”
Sarah ”Well actually its Emily’s plan, I am just sort of altering a few things, you know Tim Withers? The child advocate?”
Neil ”Yeah, he’s good folk, had a couple of cases that he was involved in. Hmm, you planning to try and get the Patterson boy to retain him?”
Sarah ”You are good, yeah. He’s a good friend of the McHenry’s and it seems our boy Justin is being tutored with the McHenry boy by a classmate, every evening at the McHenry home…”
Neil ”And so it would be natural for Withers to show up one night while the boys are studying and let Justin take matters into his own hands, very sneaky, but how do we know he wants to? I mean its one thing to get them together but how are you going to get them to talk about his situation?”
Sarah ”That’s the sneaky part, Emily is priming her son, he’ll be our motivator so to speak, least that’s what we are hoping will happen.”
Neil ”I don’t know Sarah, the boy is what 16? Does Emily really think he’ll get the Paterson boy to bite, and what about the other one, the tutor? Won’t he sort of inhibit the Paterson boy?”
Sarah ”Didn’t think of that, but from what Emily said, seems the three of them discussed it just this weekend, one reason she called, her boy wanted to see if she could get Tim to talk to Justin, and so, well it seems the kids are ahead of us on this one, it could solve our problem if it works.”
Neil ”Yeah, and if it doesn’t?”
Sarah ”Then, then we take charge, I want a copy of your report to find its way into Tim Wither’s hands, as well as your friend down in Vice, I’ll see that a copy somehow gets into DCS’s hands, and well then, we wait for the shit to hit the fan.”
Neil ”What kind of time frame we looking at?”
Sarah ”Emily is calling Tim this morning, hopefully we can put that part into motion as early as tonight or tomorrow night, then if nothing comes from it, well Wednesday or Thursday at the latest we do our thing.”
Neil ”Will Withers play along Sarah? He has to know that this is a set up, won’t he balk at that?”
Sarah ”No, hopefully not, if Emily does her ‘concerned parent’ routine good enough he’ll think its just a mother acting out of concern for a friend of her son, if not, well, I’ll take those lumps if need be.”
Neil ”Weren’t, I mean, you and Tim, there uh was this rumour once that…”
Sarah ”Ancient history Neil, we are good friends still, least I am counting on that if things go sour on us.”
Neil ”I see, okay, well I better get started on gathering up some bodies to keep an eye on this Paul creep, anything else?”
Sarah ”One more thing, uh, the father, he’s on the edge Neil.”
Neil ”Shit, well least he’s in Florida, we don’t need a meddling father right now.”
Sarah ”I wish it was that simple, he’s heading here and arrives around midnight tonight, sorry but Scott just can’t keep him bottled up, seems the guy is very insistent.”
Neil ”Oh Christ, can’t we head him off? This will only complicate matters.”
Sarah ”I know, which is why you need to hire good people to watch Paul, Mr. Mark Paterson is your assignment.”
Neil ”Shit, sorry, and just what is it I am supposed to do with Mr Mark Patterson?”
Sarah ”Baby sit, I don’t care what you have to do Neil, sit on him, lock him up in your basement, whatever it takes do NOT, I repeat do not let him loose or contact his kid, if he does, Jaworski will have him in jail and worse, we’ll most likely lose the kid too, right now I think we can reach him, least I think Tim can, if not, well I don’t think either of us want to consider that, do we?”
Neil ”No, okay, so I meet him at the airport, you got the flight info?”
Sarah ”I’ll have it for you in a few hours, Scott is going to take one more stab at holding him back, but, well he doesn’t seem too hopeful, this Patterson guy, he was waiting for Scott this morning, according to Scott’s secretary, he was there before the doors of the building even opened at 6am, so he’s really wired Neil, but maybe he’ll have calmed down and Scott can talk some sense into him.”
Neil ”I hope so, okay you have my cell number, call me when you got any more, oh, can this Hacket fax you a picture of the guy? Like to know who I am meeting, and, well, let’s hope he calms down but somehow…”
Sarah ”Yeah, I doubt he will too, Neil, the father is for real, I don’t know why I feel that way, but he is the real deal Neil.”
Neil ”Okay, doesn’t make it easier though, but I’ll keep that in mind.”
Sarah ”Thanks.”
7:51 a.m. P.S.T.
The pain was unreal, his chest was hurting so much and he just couldn’t believe how much it hurt. He didn’t think he was that much of a wimp but he had to be, the other two were puffing too but they seemed to not be in the horrible pain that he was. Damn he must really look like a complete wusse to them both and that pissed him off even more. They had to stop several times on the way, just for him to catch up and he tried, really he did, but his legs felt like mush and his heart was pounding so much, it hurt his ears even.
Despite all that pain, all that strain on his young body he still felt like he was in heaven. To follow both Tyler and Justin as the loped down the sidewalks, their arms swaying in unison it seemed and the way the breeze they created by their movement made their hair flow backwards, damn it was rather exciting for him and he really did want to impress them, to keep up and yet Tyler was always glancing back, and each time Zack could feel the adrenalin rushing faster inside of him as his mind would take off on another fantasy trip.
It just was almost too much and he knew that he must of gotten a boner at least a dozen times, but he didn’t care, not like anyone could notice anyhow, after all who would be checking him out when there were two real jocks just ahead of him. It really was something to watch actually, the way their legs just strained and arched forward in such easy motion, their cheeks looked so firm and taut as the legs pushed the young bodies forward, Christ no wonder every girl they passed always turned to stare at the two boys.
He smiled at that as he recalled that one man they had passed who had turned and almost got trampled by Zack as he tried to keep up. He could see the man’s face and he recognized that look, it was almost the same hungry look that he had each time he thought about Justin or Tyler. Now here he was, following them and while he knew it could never be, he still was able to enjoy his dreams and Tyler’s constant turning, constant encouraging smile to him was something that would feed his dreams for the rest of the year at least, never mind the few times that even Justin turned and he too smiled, as if he really did care.
Running along, he was almost believing his own fantasies, that both Tyler and Justin really did like him, that they really did count him as a friend but in his mind he knew that to be false, but the dream just wouldn’t quit so he let it flow, let it take charge and help drive his young legs faster so that he wasn’t too far behind the two athletes.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost ran past the two boys, both of them crouched over, holding onto their knees as they breathed in. He managed to stop and the aches and pains of having just run a few miles were reaching every part of his body. His nerves felt like raw meat the way they ached and sent numerous signals to his mind but for some unfathomable reason, Zack felt like he was in heaven. He just couldn’t get enough and even though his body was screaming at him, he wished they would continue, that there would be more running because it gave him a chance to feel like he was normal, not a freak or a nerd, just one of the ‘guys’.
Zack followed Tyler’s instructions on cooling down and he kept watching them both, trying to mimic them and he had to admit, it did feel a bit better but he was torn between trying to keep his mind on cooling down and the wild thoughts about being with both boys. Christ, he was getting weirder, or so he thought as images of him and Tyler would suddenly switch to him and Justin, like he was trying them both out, to see which would be his, when he knew inside that neither would give him a seconds glance if they knew the truth but then, that really might not be true. Maybe there was hope because Justin did know, or at least thought he knew, so maybe?
Tyler ”Shit, we gotta motor, come on lets go.”
Justin ”Go?”
Tyler ”Yeah, to shower and get cleaned up, almost 8 and all.”
Zack ”Shower? Where?”
Tyler ”Boy’s locker room of course, geez Zack where else we gonna shower at school?”
Zack looked up and for the first time he realized that they had jogged all the way to school and he felt the panic setting in now. How the hell could he shower and change in front of Tyler and Justin, worse, how the hell could he hide his own feelings if they, oh Christ this was too much and his world suddenly came crashing down on him.
Zack ”Uh, but, I mean, the gym isn’t open this early, is it?”
Tyler ”Normally no, but the coach starts opening it up at 7:30 as of today for those who want to start their training early, he kind of encourages it too, so its all set.”
Justin ”That’s cool, many do it?”
Tyler ”No, not really, least not for the first week or two, then he rags on them and it starts getting more crowded, well come on, I got Twiller first period and he does not like jocks who come in late, right Zack?”
Zack ”Uh, yeah right, uh… Maybe, I mean… you sure its open?”
Tyler stared at Zack for a minute and wondered what was bugging him all of a sudden, the guy seemed happy enough jogging even if he was a bit out of shape, but he had kept up more or less so why was he freaking now? He turned to see Justin watching and shrugged his shoulder a bit but Justin seemed a bit distracted as well.
Justin ”Shit, I uh just remembered, I don’t have anything to change into, uh maybe we could pass on the shower this morning?”
Tyler ”Huh? Don’t you have some in your locker?”
Justin ”Uh, I took them home to get washed, uh how about it Zack, you okay with passing on the shower for the morning?”
Zack ”Huh? Oh, uh yeah, I don’t have anything else either.”
Tyler ”But… okay, well I think I will go, you two can pass if you want, just make sure if we have any classes together that you guys sit down wind okay?”
Justin ”haha, yeah sure, I’ll head home at lunch and shower, its close.”
Tyler ”Okay, how about you Zack?”
Zack ”Uh, well mine is bit far, uh I…”
Justin ”Hey you can come home with me and take my bike, that will give you enough time, won’t it Zack?”
Zack ”Yeah, yeah it will, sure you don’t mind?”
Justin ”Nah, I need the added jogging time anyhow, can’t have some QB out running me, haha”
Tyler ”Some QB? Hey, you receivers thing you are so hot, haha okay cool, well see you guys after school then?”
Zack ”Huh? After school?”
Tyler ”Sure, hey you didn’t think this mornings jog is it for the day did you?”
Zack ”Well, yeah I did.”
Tyler ”Nah, we jog here in the morning, then back to my place after, hey maybe we can do some more studying too, what say you guys stay for dinner?”
Justin ”Won’t your mom get pissed?”
Zack ”Yeah.”
Tyler ”Nope, I’ll call her at lunch and warn her, besides its Monday, that’s usually when dad brings home Mickey D’s, Mom works late on Mondays.”
Zack ”Well uh, I don’t know.”
Justin ”Sure its okay? I mean, you know…”
Tyler ”Shit yeah, no sweat, besides you two can clear it at lunch.”
Justin ”Beats eating my mom’s cooking, okay you are on.”
Zack ”Okay, I don’t think mine will object, sure its no bother, I mean…”
Tyler ”Don’t sweat it, so couple of Big Mac’s and fries okay?”
Justin ”Sure.”
Zack ”Sure.”
Tyler ”Great, later, I stink, phew, don’t know how you two gonna manage, later.”
Justin ”Later.”
Zack ”Yeah.”
Justin and Zack watched as Tyler loped off towards the gym and the boy’s locker room when Justin reached down and picked up his backpack. It had felt like a ton while jogging and it sure didn’t feel any lighter now as he threw it over his shoulder and looked over at Zack.
Justin ”Uh, you okay?”
Zack ”I guess, uh, thanks.”
Justin ”For what? Didn’t bring my clothes, have to remember at lunch though.”
Zack ”Justin… uh, I mean…”
Justin ”Meet you in the parking lot after last period?”
Zack ”Yeah, uh, you don’t mind me borrowing your bike?”
Justin ”Nah, its cool, uh if you want, I’ll wait for you after lunch, we can walk back together if you want.”
Zack ”Okay, uh, thanks.”
Justin ”No sweat, besides, uh, well, I owe you, for helping me, studying that is.”
Zack ”Uh, okay, but, uh you don’t owe me, I don’t mind doing it.”
Justin ”I know, still…”
Zack ”Yeah.”
Tyler stood by the gym door, catching his breath and thinking a little about what had just gone on. He knew Justin was lying because he had seen the legs of a pair of jeans dangling out of Justin’s backpack, so he knew the guy had his clothes with him but he didn’t get why the lie, it didn’t make sense but as he stood there, panting a little and watching, his mind wandered to Zack. He was certain that he too had a change of clothes in his pack, but maybe Zack was shy or something? Christ it was nothing new for him to strip and shower with a few dozen guys hanging around but maybe Zack wasn’t used to it, or maybe, shit, maybe he was embarrassed?
Christ, it was tough being a kid he thought and then he turned to head into the gym and go shower, he really did stink and he sure as hell hoped that things would go well tonight. His mom had told him that she was going to get Tim Withers to drop over either tonight or tomorrow night, and he was glad he had talked to her about Justin. He didn’t know why either, but there was something about the way Justin had looked when he talked about his dad the other day that scared him, and he didn’t scare easy.
He made his way to his locker, and as he stripped off his jogging pants and t-shirt he heard someone else in the shower and wondered who else had come this early. Usually he was the only one here the first week or so, and it surprised him a little when Casey Williams came out of the shower area, his head lowered as he was drying his hair with his towel. For a quick second Tyler glanced down to see the boy’s naked torso and as his eyes took it all in, he stared at the semi erect penis and it all hit him at once. Christ, he was so stupid, and he leaned back against the locker, his eyes blank as his mind whirled with the thought that had finally penetrated his brain.
Casey ”Christ, Tyler, you scared the shit out of me”
Tyler jumped a little at Casey’s voice and he stood back upright, still reeling from the thought that had come to his mind. How could he have been so stupid, so insensitive as to not figure it out before hand? God, he really must be dumb but now what was he going to do about it? He had to make some changes to their plans, some way to avoid this from happening again but he had time, least until tomorrow morning when they would have to face it all over again.
Tyler ”Shit, sorry Casey, hey what you doing here this early?”
He noticed how quickly Casey had moved the towel from his head to cover up his groin and he still didn’t quite understand it all. Why was it that guys always checked other guys out and yet when someone might check them out, they rushed to cover up? He sighed a little because he knew that it wasn’t embarrassment or shyness that had prompted Zack and Justin from having a shower and he just didn’t know how he was going to handle it just yet.
Casey ”Uh the coach more or less commanded it.”
Tyler ”Really? Christ he’s starting in early, normally he doesn’t push until a week or two from when he starts opening up.”
Casey ”Guess I am special, uh, has he talked to you about me?”
Tyler ”The coach? No, why?”
Casey ”Uh, he wants to shift me from defence to offence this year.”
Tyler ”Yeah? Cool, what position?”
Casey ”He wants me to back up Brian.”
Tyler ”Brian? Fuck, what did Brian do now?”
Casey ”He didn’t say, but man he sure went over my grades on Friday, uh, think Brain is getting tossed?”
Tyler ”Shit, could be, but damn it, he’s a good halfback, damn good.”
Casey ”I know, but still, he isn’t exactly the friendliest guy around.”
Tyler ”No shit, uh, has he told Brain that you are backing him up?”
Casey ”Don’t think so, he told me to get you to uh, well, I don’t know much about the offence side, guess he wants me to learn the plays first, and oh yeah, he told me to put on 10 pounds and start jogging twice a day.”
Tyler ”Sounds like the coach, so you jog to school?”
Casey ”Yeah, sucks getting up this early though.”
Tyler ”Tell me, you live over on Westmont don’t you?”
Casey ”Uh huh, why?”
Tyler ”You jogging with anyone?”
Casey ”No, no one I know is that crazy to get up early to run to school, just us jocks I guess.”
Tyler ”Haha, yeah, well Justin and Zack jog with me, maybe you can join us?”
Casey ”Justin? He the new kid?”
Tyler ”Yep”
Casey ”Cool, who is Zack though? Don’t know anyone on the team named Zack.”
Tyler ”Uh, he’s a friend, sort of, promised I’d help get him in shape so he could get himself a decent prom date this year.”
Casey ”Oh, well yeah, I’d like to join you guys, don’t know if I can keep up though.”
Tyler ”Shit, I seen you play corner, you got some good speed and good moves too, guess that’s why the coach is taking a look at you for halfback.”
Casey ”I guess, well, I uh need to get dressed, uh, about jogging…”
Tyler ”Yeah, uh look meet us out at the parking lot after last period, we are all jogging back to my place, we can talk it over then.”
Casey ”Thanks Tyler, see you then.”
Tyler ”Yeah, see you.”
Tyler finished stripping off his running clothes and he grabbed his blue towel and walked towards the shower, his bare butt wiggling a little as he didn’t bother to hide it with his towel. For the time being his mind was too busy trying to figure out a way that they could jog together, and not stink up the whole school afterwards. He just had to find a way and as he adjusted the spray of the showerhead, he didn’t notice Casey turning away and if he had, he most likely wouldn’t have recognized the look that was in Casey’s eyes.
As he felt the hot water soaking into his flesh, the muscles beginning to relax their steel like grip on him, he felt the thoughts whirling around his head and he felt uneasy, not sure how he could manage all this. He was concerned for Justin and he wondered if Justin would be pissed at him for interfering in his life but shit, he either was the team leader or not and besides that, it just made sense to help someone that needed help, you couldn’t go thru life ignoring the pain and suffering around you, or could you?
With one hand slowly rubbing his body, working the soap into a lather, the scent of Old Spice filled the steamy shower and he continued with his thinking, continued with wondering just what was his role in life, not just as it related to the team, though that was a big part of it, but to other things too. He wasn’t a great student, he knew that, and while he was a damn good quarterback he doubted if he was pro ball material, but it would be nice to think that he might make it, given the right opportunity but he also was smart enough to know that he couldn’t rely on that. He needed to have something to fall back on but he just didn’t know what and that bothered him almost as much as all the rules and stuff bothered him.
Maybe bother wasn’t the right word, maybe offended was, because it sure did piss him off lately, the way he couldn’t just be friends with people because they were nice, but was defined by a ‘code’ that just made no sense. Zack was a prime example and it really was eating at him, inside, and he knew that it would lead to some rather difficult problems, like the one he was facing now. He was oblivious to everything around him as he continued to soap up and he ran his hands down his chest, reaching further to soap his groin and he didn’t even hear the sigh escape from the brown haired young man that stood for a moment at the entrance to the shower area. He was too lost in his thoughts as he continued to try and figure out how he could make it easier for Zack and for Justin.
The thought also entered his mind about Justin, wondering how Justin had tumbled onto Zack’s discomfort so quickly, and as he rubbed the soap down his long lanky legs, feeling the dirt and sweat wash away he wondered if maybe Justin could be that way too, but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t get the same sort of vibes from Justin as he did from Zack but then how the hell was he supposed to tell anyhow, and besides, what fucking difference should it make? The idea that if a guy was that way shouldn’t matter but he knew it did and yet he wondered why, after all they were the same person before being found out, least so he thought.
Tyler let the warm water cascade down his body, the soapy water running down his frame as his mind grabbled with the concept of maybe Justin being gay as well as Zack. He thought about it and he knew that if Justin was, it hadn’t changed him so why should he even be thinking about it? Okay, maybe it did change some things, and he thought about what it would feel like if he knew that Justin was gay and was standing next to him, right now in the shower. Would it bug him like everyone said, would it make him feel weird or something? Shit, he checked guys out so why should it bug him if a guy who was checking him out was gay?
In some way he knew the answer to that, because he was comparison looking, not date looking and maybe that was all there was to it. Maybe while virtually every guy always stole a glance at the guys next to him in the shower, checking to see what their equipment was like, it was simply to compare them, to see how they stacked up to everyone else but when the guy was gay, was he looking for more than a comparison?
How would he feel if Justin stole a look-see at him while they were showering? Would he be upset if he knew that Justin was thinking something other than how Tyler measured up to his own equipment or would he even care? Christ, why the hell did life get so complicated, why couldn’t all he had to worry about be whether Sheryl would go to the party this Saturday or not, instead he now had to contend with the possibility that his supposed go to guy was queer and to make matters worse, it looked like the coach was gonna replace Brian at halfback which was not going to make life quiet or easy.
Thinking about Brian he was able to at least get back into familiar territory and he felt a bit easier, at least for the moment. It sure would suck having to play without Brain, he was a damn good halfback and he did have a knack for holding onto the ball and gaining those extra needed yards when called upon, but other than that the guy was a real jerk. He was always getting into trouble, pushing others around because he was the hot shot athlete and if he got benched or kicked off the team, well all those he had tormented would be gunning for him and he didn’t mean it figuratively either.
Brian had a definite talent for pissing off the wrong people and yet when the guy had a football in his hand he was pure poetry in motion. Shit, why did God give someone like him such obvious talent but forget the other stuff, like a decent personality would have been nice, or at least a brain to know when to shut up and when to blow off steam?
Thinking about Brian he wondered what would happen if Brian tweaked to the fact that Justin might be queer? Shit he would be spending most of his time pulling the two apart because he knew that Justin was too wound up about his dad to think straight let alone contain his own anger. The guy was just too tense, you could see it in how he ran even, the anger was really scary and he sure hoped that his mom would get Tim Withers over tonight, the sooner the better as far as he was concerned.
Shutting the water off he wondered what it must feel like to be abandoned by the one’s you thought loved you? How could adults be so damn stupid and yet they said kids didn’t understand, man were they ever wrong about that one. He stood for a second longer and the sound of the locker room door closing didn’t even phase him or enter his thoughts as he thought more about Justin and how it must feel to have your dad suddenly stop being a part of your life, and worse, what if Justin was gay too? God, talk about a double whammy of bad luck, no wonder Justin was so on edge, so wound up.
Rubbing the towel over his body he couldn’t get Justin or Zack out of his mind. He wondered if they were doing each other and the thought was kind of grossing him out but in another sense it was kind of pleasing too. He liked Zack, the guy was neat to be around and he was smart too, which was a bonus. Justin seemed okay too and it was kind of neat to think that maybe the two of them could be happy together but then did guys have the same thoughts as a guy and girl?
He knew that he wasn’t like most guys, after all he liked Sheryl because she made him laugh, made him feel like he was special because of himself, not because he could throw a football 50 or so yards. Tyler wondered if that was important to guys as it was to him, or was it no different than maybe 90% of his schoolmates who thought only about getting laid? Sex sure did play a big role at this time of their lives but he wasn’t so sure that it was all that it was made out to be.
Sheryl wasn’t exactly a virgin but they hadn’t done much other than some pretty heavy petting, and she did give him head once, and he really did like it, but they hadn’t crossed the line into going all the way yet, and for him, it was no big deal even though Sheryl did seem to be hinting that she wouldn’t mind if they did. He kind of wished they could hold off a bit longer, he was just enjoying the feeling of getting to know her as a person, not as a way to get his rocks off, mind you it sure did lead to some interesting jerk off sessions before bed when he would think of her that way so maybe she was right, maybe it was time but damn it seemed too soon.
As he pulled his Levi’s up and buttoned them up he hoped that if Zack and Justin really were doing each other that at least they were doing it for a better reason than just to get off. He wasn’t sure what two guys did but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t something he wanted to know but he did wish he could ask, just to satisfy his own curiosity if nothing else.
12:13 p.m. P.S.T.
His hair was still a mess as he rushed out of the house and his mother just stared with an open mouth as her son waved goodbye and was half way down their driveway before she could even speak. It certainly was amazing and she felt rather happy for Zack, seeing the way his face was smiling a bit more than normal, and all because of that McHenry lad, it really was nice and she thought that maybe one night they should invite the McHenry’s over for coffee or something, to sort of, well to meet them and let them know how nice of a boy they had. Zack would most likely object but it was the right thing to do, and besides she did like to know the parents of the boys her son was friendly with.
She had been worried about Zack, the way he spent so much time alone other than a few visits with that boy Shawn. They seemed to be good friends but they really didn’t spend much time these days, but then Shawn did have a girlfriend and well, Zack didn’t and it bothered her a little. She wished he would be a bit more outgoing but he seemed happiest when he was working in the garage on his school projects or on the computer, so she had left well enough be but now, well now it was like a whole new world had suddenly opened up for Zack.
Louise Trailer was happy and she thought that maybe she should talk to John, her husband and maybe they could arrange a small get together for the boys, and their parents. She knew John wasn’t much for parties but he did love Zack so much, maybe he would bend a little this time and she might just splurge a bit and get a new skirt or blouse to wear. It would be nice to have some company other than the people John knew from work.
Zack was pedaling like crazy as he rounded the corner, and tiny beads of sweat were forming on his forehead as he raced to get back to Justin’s place in record time. He still was a bit uneasy about this jogging with Justin and Tyler and he would have to face it, the whole shower thing was going to be tough. He felt the panic still from this morning and yet he felt pretty good still, not because he had any answers on how to hide his feelings for either of the other two, but because of how Justin had suddenly come to his rescue. He knew Justin had his clothes with him, shit he had jogged behind him and couldn’t help but see the pant leg dangling and yet Justin had made it easy for him to duck out of the shower, for now.
He didn’t see the green SUV driving slowly along the road, as his mind was too preoccupied with this morning’s workout. Granted, morning classes sucked because he really did reek from sweat and naturally he had a class with that shit head Brian in it, who couldn’t resist the opportunity that Zack’s ripe smell had created. It was pure hell in some respects, but the teacher had finally stopped the comments but he wasn’t so sure it had been a help. Brian was more pissed at him afterwards and he planned on making sure he stayed out of his way for the rest of the day.
Zack knew that he would have to come up with some excuse for not showering with them, and he wondered if there was some way he could just stall getting undressed until they were finished in the shower? Maybe that could work and he wouldn’t have to let them see him but still, how could he avoid not seeing them? Christ this was complicated but it was still like his dream and he couldn’t explain it to himself, but he felt good inside, not all scared or weirded out. It was almost as if they had both accepted him as part of their group, and while he was certain it wouldn’t extend beyond their morning and afternoon jogs, at least for that hour and a bit he could relax, knowing he wasn’t an outcast for that all too brief time.
The crossbar of the bike hurt as he pedaled faster down the street, and he knew it was hurting cause he had another boner happening, which was becoming harder to stop each second. Just thinking about how to not shower with them was enough to get his dick hard and the idea of seeing them both naked, covered in soap was enough to make his hard cock drip and that was something else he was worried about, how to keep that wet spot from showing. Fortunately this morning his shorts were soaked by his sweat too so he doubted if anyone could tell the difference, but he couldn’t count on that either so he sure had a lot to think about before morning.
Zack skidded into the driveway and didn’t see the truck pull up at the side of the road because standing in front was Justin. He didn’t look happy and in a flash Zack grew scared. He couldn’t think of what he had done and he was sure he hadn’t been that long in getting home, showering, and getting back but the look on Justin’s face was one of pure anger. He stopped the bike in front and while he panted, he stared at Justin’s face, feeling the hatred just oozing from him and he felt his legs trembling as his heart skipped a few beats as the terror of the unknown transgression took hold of him.
Zack ”Uh, sorry.”
Justin ”Huh? Sorry? What are you sorry for?”
Zack ”I don’t know… did I take too long? I really tried to hurry and…”
Justin ”What are you talking about? Shit, forget it Zack, I just… fuck I hate adults.”
Zack ”Oh, uh, guess I thought you were mad at me for taking too long.”
Justin ”Too long? Oh, no, I am not mad at you, guess I am just, fuck, come on, let’s head off, I just wish I could get out of here, I just fucking want to go home, get away from HER.”
Zack leaned Justin’s bike up against the back door of the house and clicked the opened lock shut and hurried to catch up with Justin who was already down the driveway and on the street, heading towards school. He didn’t know what had happened, but he was at least glad it didn’t have anything to do with him. Christ though, the look on Justin’s face sure was scary and he ran a bit faster to catch up when he slid to a stop, as he saw Justin talking with some guy out by the tree near the house. The guy looked older and for some strange reason made Zack feel uneasy.
He wasn’t sure what he should do, and yet he didn’t feel like he could back away, something inside of him was pushing him onwards, pushing him closer to Justin and the stranger. For what it was worth, it looked like Justin knew the guy but still, he didn’t look like someone he wanted to know but he didn’t have much of a choice as he walked closer and silently stood beside Justin.
The guy talking to Justin looked over at him, and he felt a strange clamminess come over him, as the man’s eyes seemed to take him in in one quick glance. It was sort of like being x-rayed and he felt really uncomfortable as the guy smiled at him, which only made his stomach twist a bit and gurgle, as if protesting the man’s attention to him.
Justin ”Hey Zack, this is Paul, Paul, Zack.”
Paul ”Hi there.”
The man held out his hand and for some reason, Zack was reluctant to take it but he knew he had to, if for no other reason than to avoid pissing Justin off any further. He still looked angry but not as terrifying as when he had pulled into the driveway.
Zack ”Hi, uh Justin, sorry, but uh we should get going or we’ll be late.”
Justin ”Huh? oh, yeah guess we should.”
Paul ”Heading up to school?”
Justin ”Yeah, had to come home to get some stuff, wished I hadn’t though.”
Paul ”She still ragging?”
Justin ”Yeah, didn’t think she was going to be home, and well…”
Paul ”Sucks man, maybe you want to ditch? You can hang out at the arcade if you want… your friend can come too if he wants, how about it?”
Zack ”Uh, no, no thanks, uh we can’t Justin, we have to meet Tyler after school, remember?”
Justin ”Yeah, but…”
Paul ”I can always give you a lift back to school then if you want Justin, up to you.”
Zack could see that Justin was really thinking about it, about ditching school and letting this Paul guy hang out with him. He didn’t know why but the guy really made him feel uneasy and he knew that he couldn’t let Justin go but how could he stop him? Shit, if he went, should he go too or should he go to school? Christ, he had to think of something, something that would stop Justin from accepting.
Paul ”Tell you what, why don’t you two come on over to the arcade, my treat and when its time, I’ll take my break and drive you both back to meet this Tyler guy, sound like a plan?”
Justin ”Well does sound good, what about it Zack? You wanna go play some video games on the house?”
Zack ”Uh, well, I guess but uh, well, what if someone spots us coming back Justin? Uh, it could get you in trouble with the coach and uh, I mean…”
Zack almost felt the hatred reaching out for him from Paul as he spoke, but he had to try, he couldn’t let Justin go with this guy even if they did know each other and besides that, there was something evil about the guy. It wasn’t his looks but it was how his eyes looked, and they frightened Zack as he stuttered out his pitiful words, hoping and praying that Justin would accept the premise.
Justin ”Shit, yeah just what I would need today, and with my luck, yeah, sorry Paul, I think we’ll pass, too risky right now.”
Paul ”Well, if you say so pal, uh, how about I give you a ride to school, maybe if they see you arriving, you can still duck out and no one will be the wiser?”
Zack felt the evil and he could hear his heart as it quaked to the force of the sugary words. The guy was definitely up to something, but what, and just why was Justin friendly with this guy? Christ, was he some drug dealer or something? He had heard about them and he had seen one or two at school, but they were school kids and for the most part they didn’t bother him. Guess they didn’t think he was the ‘user’ type or maybe they just didn’t care but he was glad they didn’t bug him.
Justin really did want to go with Paul but Zack had been right, and the way his luck had gone today he was sure he’d get caught, and besides he wasn’t still all that sure about Paul. The guy seemed nice enough and he was generous but there was something not right and he couldn’t put his finger on it but then he had other things to worry about. Christ he still could hear her voice as he had walked in, the loud shriek and cry and he had thought someone was hurting her.
He didn’t know why it didn’t sink in at first or why he even bothered to care but while he didn’t exactly care for his mother, she was his mother so he had gone bursting into her room and instead of seeing some assailant beating on her, she saw her on top of some guy. The look on her face when he came crashing in was unbelievable, the anger she had and the hatred too as she screamed for him to get out, to fucking get out and he did too but still, she looked so mean then, so ugly even it had frightened him a bit.
It was attractive to think he could just stand in front of some video machine and exorcise the afternoon’s horror but he also knew that he would wind up getting nailed for it and that was not what he needed. Christ, to give her any excuse would be murder and it was already bad enough but he wished he could just find a place where he could be alone, where the world around him go just go and fuck itself and leave him alone but he was smart enough to know that was a dream that wouldn’t come true, least not for him.
Justin ”Could use the ride, but don’t think we can ditch, not today, sorry Paul.”
Paul ”Well, you think about it, come on, hop in, you too Zack, if you want that is?”
Justin headed towards the dark green SUV that was Paul’s and he turned to stare at Zack, as he recognized the signal in Paul’s voice as sort of a warning to Zack, as if to tell him to beg off taking the lift to school and for a minute, Justin panicked, hoping that Zack wouldn’t take the hint and would come along. For some reason, Justin didn’t want to be alone with Paul in his truck.
Zack felt the animosity and the threat was real clear to him and he was scared. He could feel his legs quiver a little but the look in Justin’s eyes when he turned towards him was more powerful and he just shrugged and headed over to the truck and he saw Justin’s body relax a bit as he climbed into the front seat and slid over, to let Zack climb in next to him instead of letting him go to the back. The look on Paul’s face was blank but somehow, Zack could tell he wasn’t pleased about how things had changed and he wondered just what was this guy’s game? He had no doubt that the guy was up to something and Zack did have a fertile imagination and yet all he could feel was the need to be with Justin, to stick close to him until they got to school.
Zack ”Thanks”
3:58 p.m. E.S.T.
The airline attendant was looking at him strangely and he knew that he must appear to her as some sicko or something but he couldn’t help it, the pain in his chest seemed to only be getting worse with each passing minute and he knew that it was nerves, an unreasonable fear had seemed to take hold of him and nothing that the lawyer or Ken had said could change his resolve, he just had to get to California and his son, even if it meant going to jail, he just knew that Justin needed him.
It was totally irrational, he knew that and yet it seemed very real to him. He had never felt this way before, well not as intense anyways or as determined. Sure he had had some sort of premonitions before this but nothing that had caused him such physical pain as well as mental anguish. It just had to be real, or else he really was losing it and maybe if that was the case, then he did belong in jail or something, certainly not as a father but deep inside he knew it was real so he collected himself and showed his identification to the frowning attendant.
The thought of spending almost 12 hours in airplanes and air terminals was daunting to say the least. He hated confined spaces and every chance he got he would be outside breathing in the fresh air and now he was willingly locking himself up in a metal tube breathing recycled chemical air all because something inside told him to get to California. He must be crazy but then again the lawyer didn’t really push him too much. That in itself seemed to tell him that he was right, otherwise the lawyer would have been more insistent, more threatening than he had been, and even Ken hadn’t pushed it too far.
Thinking about Ken he glanced over at the far end of the terminal but he couldn’t see him anymore and that hurt too. He wished he could have made the journey with him but he was a grown man, he didn’t need a babysitter or did he? Ken was so much more than just a companion, the latest phrase people used to describe his situation. Damn the world and damn society for all of its stupidity and nonsense, rules that made little or no sense, courts that simply assumed that because a man was gay the mother had to be a better parent. None of it made sense to him anymore because in his heart he knew that he was a much better parent than Heather ever could be.
He was showed to his seat and he immediately buckled up and turned to stare out the window seat, his heart feeling torn as he knew that he was leaving for uncertain waters and it could be a long time before he got back to Ken, especially if things went terribly wrong as his lawyer had pointed out to him. He just didn’t care if he had to go to jail, what was important was that he find a way to talk to Justin, to explain it to him so that maybe in time, Justin wouldn’t hate him, wouldn’t think that he had abandoned him to the schemes of his mother.
There was no doubt that it was a long shot, that by now the boy would most likely have been totally poisoned against him by her constant remarks and manipulations, but he owed Justin the chance to at least hear his side, to at least see that he was serious. No letters or phone calls would do, it had to be face to face and while the prospect of facing his 16 year old son was terrifying, the thought of having to look into his face that would most likely be etched in anger and hatred, and tell him that his father was gay was almost enough to strike down the most valiant of knights, but it was something he could no longer avoid.
Mark knew he had been wrong in not coming forth earlier, in not taking Justin aside the very instant he could and explain it all to him then, instead he had listened to the legal experts, the ones who told him that coming out would only insure a worse settlement, but what could be worse than what he did get? At least if he had come out, had pressed his wife he might have kept his son’s respect, now all he could hope for was that Justin would one day not hate him. That was hell of a trade off and yet he had to have hope, had to feel that somehow by coming clean now he could maybe undo some of the damage he had wrought by being silent.
Maybe if he had listened to his inner voice sooner none of this pain would exist, and while he might have lost all rights to Justin then and there, he knew now that he would not have lost his son’s respect. He could always fight a bad court decision; he could always have kept up his fight for Justin if he hadn’t just been so scared of being found out, of being labelled queer.
Ken had been right too, you couldn’t hide who you were simply because others were bothered by it, but you could hide it if you were ashamed of it, and if he was ashamed, then maybe he really wasn’t who he thought he was. Strange, he had always counted pride in his honesty until then, and he had always considered himself to be a strong man, until then. Yet the way his lawyer had talked to him, had even looked at him, he knew the man was uneasy and if his own lawyer felt that way, how would a judge feel?
It wasn’t really anyone’s fault but his own, he could have ignored the lawyer’s advice, he could have ignored it all but he made the choice and it turned out to be the wrong choice. Well, that was life but maybe what made a person human, made them honourable wasn’t that they made less bad choices, but that when they did make bad choices they fessed up to them and did what they could to correct them. Maybe that was all that God wanted from his children, to let them have the freedom to make their own way but that when it was the wrong path, to have the courage to admit it and then move on to correct it
He had been such a fool, and now it might be too late, but he couldn’t not go, not now. Mark settled back into his chair, as he felt someone coming by and stop at the empty aisle seat next to him.
“This seat taken?”
Mark turned away from the window to stare at Ken’s face peering down at him. The pain in his heart suddenly grew still as it felt the overpowering love sweep past and into his very soul. It was like a spring breath of air suddenly coming down winters pathway, a hint of more to come and he smiled as he realized just how much he was in love with the younger man.
Mark ”It appears that it is now.”
Ken ”Good, so, you ready for this?”
Mark ”Now I am.”
Ken smiled at Mark and reached across and patted his lover’s hand as he smiled and just kept smiling as the plane began its slow taxi run to the departure point. He had somehow managed to put off several urgent appointments and at the last minute had secured a seat on the same plane, as he knew that whatever awaited them in California, at least they would face it together. He didn’t have much hope that it would be a success but there was a chance, and as long as there was one shot out of a million, he knew that they both had to risk it. After all, he loved Mark Patterson with all of his heart and soul, there could be no other answer as Ken leaned back into the seat, his hand still holding tightly onto Mark’s.
3:37 p.m. P.S.T.
Tyler waited as he saw Casey coming out of the far doors and so he waited for him at the end of the walkway, figuring they’d walk together to the parking area where they would meet Justin and Zack. He still hadn’t managed to figure out how to deal with the shower situation but it would come to him, that he was certain of, but he also had to contend with Brian’s situation now. The coach had told him in first period after lunch that he was benching Brian and that Tyler was to start helping Casey learn the plays. He also said he would be telling Brian before end of afternoon classes and for his part, Tyler did his best to avoid running into Brain.
He also was a bit concerned about Justin. They had last class together but Justin had arrived late to class and for the most part had stayed well out of Tyler’s vision and the look on his face was not encouraging either. Christ he hoped that Justin and Zack hadn’t had a fight at lunch, but then he didn’t know for sure if what he thought was even close to the truth, let alone even possible. After all, he didn’t know Justin all that well, but what he did know, he liked.
It was turning out to be one of those days though, his mom had told him that Tim Withers couldn’t come over tonight, but would try for either Tuesday or Wednesday night, and for some reason it seemed like it would be too late. He didn’t know why, but he had pleaded with his mom to see if she couldn’t somehow change Mr. Withers mind and have him come by tonight and not the next. Maybe it was just all the pressure but he had this gut feeling that something bad was in the air and it didn’t go away, especially after talking with the coach.
Casey ”Hey, thought we were to meet at the parking lot?”
Tyler ”Yeah, but I saw you coming out, so figured I’d wait here.”
Casey ”Cool, uh, you talk to the coach?”
Tyler ”Yeah, right after lunch, he said he was going to tell Brian at last period.”
Casey ”Yeah, well he did.”
Tyler ”That doesn’t sound good.”
Casey ”He’s pretty pissed, not sure but he thinks I angled for this. Uh, Tyler, I didn’t you know, it was a surprise, you have to believe me.”
Tyler ”I know that Casey, shit this stuff happens, don’t let Brian’s tantrums get to you.”
Casey ”Well he’s really on the warpath, said some pretty scary shit man.”
Tyler ”Well for the most part he’s mostly talk and if he wants to tangle, well, just watch for his left, he likes to sucker people with it when he gets up close.”
Casey ”Thanks, but I think he was mouthing off mostly about you having it in for him, you and… shit maybe I should shut up.”
Tyler ”Me? Shit I spent most of the year bailing his sorry ass out of trouble, what’s he saying?”
Casey ”Uh maybe I’ll shut up, fuck if I want to get into the middle of this one.”
Tyler ”Christ Casey, you are in the middle of it whether you want to be or not, so spill it, what’s his beef about me?”
Casey ”Uh, well he’s going saying its cause of him picking on some kid named Zack, say is that the same one you mentioned this morning?”
Tyler ”Zack? Yeah I think so, Brian does like to pick on him some, but, it doesn’t make sense, why would I try to get him kicked off the team for picking on Zack?”
Casey ”Uh, he’s saying, shit, look are you gay?”
Tyler ”WHAT?”
Casey ”Hey don’t hit me man, it is just, well…”
Tyler ”FUCK! Is that what Brian is saying? That I am queer or something?”
Casey ”Yeah, uh…”
Tyler ”That mother fucking rat, how the fuck does he have the nerve to even think it, fuck.”
Casey ”Well, he says you and this Zack kid are, well…”
Tyler ”SHIT! Wait till I get my hands on that stupid jerk, fuck, like the coach would even listen to any of us on who to play or not, fuck is he that stupid?”
Casey ”I think he’s strung out Tyler, I mean he was with that Robbie guy at lunch, saw them over by the lot and well, you know Robbie.”
Tyler ”Fuck yeah, but Brian on drugs? Shit, guess anything is possible.”
Casey ”What are you going to do?”
Tyler ”Do? I don’t know, I guess I’ll have to do something won’t I? FUCK! Not what I needed today, that’s for fucking sure.”
Casey ”Uh none of my business, but uh, maybe you should cool the jogging with this friend of yours for a bit, at least until all this sorts itself out… ”
Tyler ”You think?”
Casey ”Well, if it was me in your shoes, yeah, I mean you know how everyone gossips, it could be, well, it could make what he says seem more plausible.”
Tyler “Really?”
Casey ”Hey, to be honest, I don’t care if you were gay or not, but it could make some of the other guys nervous, that’s all, just thinking of the team man.”
Tyler ”The team huh? And what about Zack?”
Casey ”Huh?”
Tyler ”Who thinks about him? Does anyone give a shit about how he must feel, or is that okay cause he ain’t a jock? Fuck this shit sucks.”
Casey ”Shit I don’t make the rules man, don’t bite my head off.”
Tyler ”No? Who does Casey, who makes up these stupid rules? And why shouldn’t I bite your head off, you want me to stop being friends with someone you don’t even know, just because some of the ‘guys’ might be get nervous?”
Casey ”What do you want me to do? Kiss this guy or something, shit Tyler, think about it, I mean how can you have respect in the huddle if they are wondering if you are copping a feel from the centre every time you reach for the snap?”
Tyler ”I don’t now, but how the hell do I look in the mirror every day if I stop seeing someone because some stupid asshole calls him a fag or has a beef with me real or not? Answer me that? Fuck the damn huddle or anything else Casey, fuck all of you if you think it’s more important that I dump a friend because of some assholes bullshit.”
Casey ”You aren’t serious, I mean, you would risk all you have for this Zack guy? Why?”
Tyler ”Maybe the question you should ask isn’t why I would do that, it is why would you respect me or want to even be associated with me if I didn’t feel this way? Maybe that’s what you should think about Casey.”
Casey stood there open mouthed as Tyler turned away from him and headed towards the student parking lot. He knew that Tyler was not going to back down, that he was serious about sticking up for this Zack guy and he grew ashamed of himself. He had respected Tyler for sometime, ever since he had seen him play one Friday night before he had come to high school. The guy was just someone that automatically drew your attention, got your focus and now he was showing just why he was one of those types.
He looked down at his legs and his hands and he then looked up towards the parking lot and he knew that the shame he was feeling inside, that it was nothing to the way he would feel if he didn’t stop his own acting. Tyler was right, it was more important that before you could expect anyone else to respect you that you had to first respect yourself and Casey hadn’t respected himself for a long time now; and well, maybe it was time that he did start.
Before the thought could even finish making its way through his mind’s tunnels and before his brain could summon up thousands of excuses, he felt the rise in his heart, the thundering of its wild beat as he loped off after Tyler and he came up to him as they rounded the corner.
Tyler ”What are you doing here?”
Casey ”Taking your advice, respecting myself.”
Tyler stopped and stared at Casey and looked into his eyes. He saw a strange glint reflected back at him and he didn’t quite understand it.
Tyler ”You sure?”
Casey ”Yeah, scared shitless but yeah, I am sure.”
Tyler ”You don’t have to, I mean…”
Casey ”Like you would listen to that advice? No, I have to.”
Tyler ”Okay, and… thanks Casey”
Casey ”Yeah, just do me one favour, okay?”
Tyler ”If I can, what?”
Casey ”Remember that later on, when all this is over.”
Tyler ”Huh? Sure but why?”
Casey ”You’ll understand, come on, I hear some shrill voice, must be Brian.”
Tyler cocked his head and he too heard the shrill shriek of Brian’s voice as it swore epitaph after epitaph and he knew that today was definitely not one of his better days, or was it perhaps his finest? Guess that only time would tell as he started off in a gentle gait, conserving his energy and yet covering the ground quickly.
The two boys came around the bend and saw a milling group of fellow students near the pathway. He could see Brian’s head in the centre of the milling group and he just knew that Zack was also there. Well, this is what he guessed Pastor Dewalt meant when he said leaders weren’t anything special, they were just ordinary people who rose to the challenge and as he came down the sloping ground towards the group he silently prayed to God to give him the strength to do what he knew was right, to see this through and to grant him the resolve and courage to do the right thing.
His approach was noticed by those on the outer fringe of the group and the word spread rapidly among the students milling about. They began to part as he got closer and off in the distance he saw Justin running from the other end of the yard too and he thought about what he had assumed earlier in the day. Well, guess he would soon find out if Justin was or wasn’t Zack’s boyfriend or if he wasn’t even gay. Going to solve a lot of things this afternoon he thought as he pushed his way past the last ring of students to see Zack on the ground, blood coming from his nose and lips.
He saw a hue of red cross his face as he came to a full stop and he could hear the silence growing all around him, only Zack’s panting could be heard as neither he nor Casey were out of breath. His anger grew cold inside as he saw Zack’s tear stained face and he turned to face Brian who stood over the sprawled boy. Brian had seen Tyler arrive and he now faced him, his foot resting besides Zack’s arm and he had a wicked smile on his face.
The two boys stared at each other as Justin came pushing into the circle and now stood to one side, Brian on his left near the fallen Zack and Tyler to his right, standing with some other guy. He was out of breath but he too saw the blood dripping from Zack’s face and his eyes grew dark, and even Tyler sensed the rage building up inside of the boy.
Brian ”Come to rescue your boyfriend hotshot?”
Tyler ”He’s not my boyfriend, but I think you need to back off Kozak, before you get me angry.”
Brian ”Like some faggot is going to tell me when to back off? I don’t think so, FAGGOT!”
Tyler ”Hope you got the means to back that up Kozak, but then ex-jocks like you, well, we all know how you like to blame others, don’t we?”
Tyler slowly looked around the hushed circle of students. He could feel their uncertainty when Brian had called him ‘faggot’ but now they weren’t so sure of their own position, they were looking at each other and at the two principle players in the unfolding drama. Not even the blood oozing from Zack’s nose or the glint of steel reflecting from Justin’s ashen white face drew their attention.
Brian ”Good with the words aren’t you big shot, well I am a damn sight better player than you or anyone else on this rinky dink team, but if he isn’t your ‘boyfriend’ then why don’t you tell us just why you are always hanging out with him, why you even jog to school with him, how about that for starters, big shot.”
Tyler ”I don’t have to explain dick to you moron, but he is a friend, that should be good enough reason for me to ‘hang with him’ as you say, and I stand up for him because he hasn’t done anything to deserve having a jerk off like you harassing him all the time, so any more questions… has been?”
Brain ”Has been? Fuck you Tyler, you are just covering your ass, or maybe you need to cover it, huh? How about it, you let this little shit shove his dick up your butt hole?”
Tyler ”You know something Kozak, for a supposed straight dude, you sure seem to know a lot about what fags do with each other, how’s that… has been?”
There were several snickers now from the crowd of kids and Tyler knew he had taken them out of the mix. They were just here now to see what would happen between Brian and Tyler, no longer interested in Zack and whether or not he was queer or straight. Tyler also knew that it didn’t really matter to them now, that more juicy stuff was happening, the elite were going after each other and as much as they would buckle and worship them it was a treat they wouldn’t miss for all the money in the world, to see one of them fall and he doubted if any of them cared who it was either, just as long as it was one of them.
Tyler watched as Brian held his hands at his side, he could see the arms flexing and he knew that Brian wanted him, was actually tasting already how it would feel to strike out at him but he wasn’t so far gone as to not know that Tyler was able to handle himself. He wasn’t a 98-pound weakling and that did give Brian some reason to pause, to hold his onslaught plus the crowd no longer cheered for him, and that also made him pause. Say what you wanted to about Brian Kozak, but he knew how to fight and he rarely got into a beef without backup, something he was lacking now. He had banked on the crowd being his support but he hadn’t counted on Tyler taking them out, so he stood there, his anger raging and no place for him to vent it safely.
The crowd grew quiet now as they waited for the blows to come. This time there wouldn’t be one or two punches thrown, they could sense the blood lust in the air as Tyler held his ground, his voice growing a bit softer, while Brian’s voice had taken on a shrillness that showed his nervousness, his anxiety. They all expected the fight to happen, and they wondered if the two others who stood with Tyler would join in, and if so, on whose side.
Zack ”He’s not my boyfriend Kozak, so just stop it.”
Everyone turned to see Zack kneeling, one leg upraised a bit, the other flat on the ground but he was slowly getting up, something everyone thought wouldn’t happen, least not until it was settled between Brian and Tyler.
Tyler ”Stay down Zack, I can handle this.”
Brian ”Yeah queer, stay down, its where you belong.”
Zack ”No, both of you shut up, I am not staying down, no matter how many times you sucker punch me Brian, and so what if I am queer, what does it matter to you? Not like I am trying to take your boyfriend away.”
Before anyone could even breath Brian swung outwards, his fist landing square into Zack’s face, and the sound of bone hitting bone echoed loudly among the silent group of students. Tyler was startled by the sound and he began to move forward when Zack’s voice stilled him.
Zack ”Big man, hitting a guy as he gets up, what do you do for an encore Kozak, pull wings off butterflies?”
Justin ”Zack cool it”
Brian ”Yeah bird brain, cool it, or you want more?”
Zack ”I used to be scared of you Kozak, you know that? But you know what, I am not scared of you anymore, no matter how many times you hit me.”
Brian ”You are crazy, you know that dweeb?”
Tyler ”Leave him alone Kozak, I swear if you hit him again I’ll wipe the ground with you.”
Zack ”No you won’t Tyler, this isn’t your fight, its mine, I am the queer, it’s my fight, only queers need apply, right Kozak? You gonna wipe us all out ain’t you big man?”
Brian ”Fucking right faggot, you are so fucking stupid, you know that?”
Casey ”Leave him alone Kozak”
Brian ”You heard him, only faggots invited.”
Casey ”Like I said, leave him alone, not all faggots are brains, some even play football smart ass, in fact, one took your spot, so how about it Kozak, care to dance?”
Zack ”Huh, what…”
Tyler ”Casey, what are…”
Casey ”Like the man said Tyler, this isn’t your fight, its Zack and my fight, right Zack?”
Zack ”Yeah, uh right.”
Casey ”Cool, so how about it Kozak, time to let the first string in on the game, so come on big man, you got the mouth but I don’t see anything else to back it up with, you are pathetic, you know that? Just a fucking pathetic red neck bastard who needs to beat on someone smaller to make himself look big, well I am not smaller, and I ain’t afraid of you either, so come on, let’s go, come on shit head, let’s see how you do against me.”
Brian ”FUCK YOU!”
Casey ”No thanks, I don’t let pussy eaters fuck me, only REAL MEN!”
Brian could only see Casey’s face as he struggled with the blinding rage that had taken hold of him and he started to move towards him, his fists clenched and his eyes fixed firmly on Casey’s face. He caught the motion out of the side and he stopped as Tyler stood in front of Casey and then Justin came and stood in front of Casey’s other side.
Tyler ”Sorry guys, but this fight isn’t exclusive to gays, I have a right to a piece of this asshole simply because, well, let’s just say it is the right thing to do, something you wouldn’t know about Kozak, so you want to fight? Then go thru me… FIRST.”